Gender Discussion #13

[emmer_moans]

I might get stick for this, but I’d go as far as to say we need to stop pummelling kids with the entire “be kind” “be tolerant” bullshittery too.

I don’t want my daughter to be tolerant, or kind, at someone’s say so. It’s submissive and she’s already timid. I want her to have empathy for others, but to use her own moral fortitude and confidence to decide what is right and wrong.

Absolutely this. The BeKind shite gets directed towards girls mostly as well, so even worse. We need encourage kids to be confident without arrogance. We also need to stop dismissing girls and women with the notion that emotional=stupid, because at the moment society says emotional = woman = stupid/subordinate.

Your daughter is lucky to have you as her guide

 

[Platformcrocs]

I'm in a women's style group on FB and a trans woman has joined. She posts frequently and, frankly, looks like a miner wearing a wig but all the comments are 'love your bravery' 'gorgeous' and so on. She makes comments about having a blonde moment and needing chocolate like she's a parody of a woman, it really gets on my nerves.

Yeah, I know it makes me sound like a dick but a lot of older trans women just don't pass. Sorry to say. I'm friends with one on fb and she constantly posts selfies and women fall over themselves to compliment her, all this nonsense like "you're a gorgeous icon, I'd kill to have your face, your smile is absolutely beautiful, I wish I had your hair" - seriously? They have the standard receding hairline of someone in their mid-40s and underwent facial surgery to look more feminine (...it didn't really work). Stop pandering to this shit.

 

[Flumps]

TW for this whole post. Under a spoiler, please approach with caution. This has made me feel like I can't properly think for anger for nearly a day now.

Spoiler: Rape. TW in single-sex spaces. Guilty 'feminists'

The Guilty Feminist had Mridul Wadhwa on their podcast recently. MW is a transwoman, entirely self IDd, no GRC. MW is currently the head of Edinburgh Rape Crisis. MW got their previous job (again at a rape crisis centre) by not declaring their sex, despite it being advertised as a position only available to a woman. Apparently this was fine as 'no one asked'.

MW said that "Sexual violence happens to bigoted people too. But if you bring beliefs that are discriminatory, expect to be challenged on your prejudice. Reframe your trauma". Also does not believe that women accessing this service should have the right to request a female only environment in the aftermath of their trauma.

Link to the Twitter thread for the Guilty Feminist here:

You will have to click more replies to read most of them as they are being hidden and commentators are being blocked because apparently the views of women about rape crisis centres are unwelcome to a 'feminist' podcast.

Deborah Frances-White's response is here. To me, it is such a strawman argument. Equating adoption and adoptive relationships with TWAW is a nonsense. If nothing else, the part 'biology will out' is ummm, what women are telling you.



Rape crisis service users are being told, in their most vulnerable, painful moment, even then that they are not as important as the political ideology of certain groups. And 'feminists' are celebrating this. The world is upside down and I cannot understand any of it.

This thread from Women and Girls in Scotland has a lot more on the background and a response to the recent claim by Rape Crisis Scotland that asking whether provision is single-sex in rape crisis centres is somehow preventing women from accessing the service.



This is a thread by a male worker in a rape crisis that demonstrates everything MW is not.



I thought I had 'peaked' before. But this, this is unconscionable.

I found a lot of this a bit traumatising because of personal history. I really, really apologise if it has the same effect on anyone else.

 

[Satisfying Click]

I want to make it clear that I'm not opposed to deliberate political viewpoints but I am opposed to individuals who come to ask 'innocent' questions in threads when their intention is to stir the pot or provide themselves with fap material.

 

[Doc]

Did you read the snp are going to allow children as young as 4 to decide and won’t have to tell their parents the new pronouns etc. Why confuse kids with choices they don’t need? A kid could he mis labelled one day merely for being jealous over someone else’s toy and a power hungry worker getting involved.

Saw this and it made the point

 

[fmmac]

I’ve seen it flash in some mens’ eyes when I have questioned something at work, for example.

I've also experienced this. I work for a small company with 18 employees and I'm the only woman. On my first day I was introduced to one man who immediately put me on edge.

I could never put my finger on why. He is well liked among the other men, he is friendly but not overly friendly etc but I also try to limit my contact with him and make sure I'm never alone in the building with him.

Then earlier this year he made a mistake that I picked up on. Nothing too serious but it did need to be fixed before going to the client. I saw that flash of something in his eyes, just briefly, but I saw it. It confirmed to me that my original feelings were right.

Lesson learned - I will never doubt myself again.

 

[mindlessness]

The point is, why aren't the feminists, especially the big Hollywood ones who seem to be completely schtum, making a huge hoo ha about Afghanistan rather than harass us all about non-existent gender pay gaps with manipulated data, or all the non-things Western feminists usually seem to go on about.

The gender pay gap is a thing though? We can care about multiple issues in multiple places when it comes to women’s rights and feminism.

 

[Luisa18]

I

I know not entirely GC commentary, but it makes me die… where are the feminists?! Why is it down to women to sort this shit storm out? We’re a little busy being hit from all sides, you know?

 

[judgejohndeed]

I am very cautious of people who speak too much about sex or their sex life on Tattle in general. It just gives me “I’m wanking off hoping these women reply to me” vibes.

Me too since our South African friend and their ‘bean flicking’

 

[Brigitjonesbuttcheek]

What I don't understand about the schools stance on trans gender children, is why is it so different to other parenting choices.

If your child has an eating disorder, or is overweight, or has ASD, depression, wants to be a vegan, whatever, it's largely up to the parents to decide how best to deal with it, the authorities would only step in if the parents were causing harm.

But with a gender confused child, you are only allowed to support transition, no other strategy is allowed to be taken.

 

[Scotch Mist]

Demi Lovato has had many problems including an eating disorder and extensive documented alcohol/drug abuse. She apparently has bipolar and ADHD. She was also raped at a young age.

Following an overdose she now has multiple health problems including strokes, a heart attack, and brain damage which has given her vision problems.

I wish her all the best for her recovery but it's obvious that she is a very messed up and confused person. What's concerning is that she will be influencing young fans when really she's the last person who should be influencing young people.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

Just seen this post on Reddit from a woman who works in a bra shop wants to help a teenage trans woman get a bra. Lots of people falling over themselves to justify allowing a teenage boy into a bra fitting room. “If other people have a problem, ask them to leave”. Just fuck off! I can’t. What are they thinking??

The teenage transwoman can do what many actual women who don’t feel brave enough to physically go into a shop for bras do and order online. No sympathy from me I’m afraid. When my girls need their first bra if don’t want them to be confronted by some teenage AGP in the Bravissimo fitting rooms thank you very much. It’s already an experience that many young girls dread and this won’t help matters.

 

[HoGi]

looks down...
I have been laying floor tiles this morning and appear to be wearing a vest and dungarees, am I a man??

Dungarees AND laying a floor?

Better chop your tits off and give you some testosterone pronto

 

[judgejohndeed]

I'm getting sick of new profiles popping up here for just to start shit.

Same, this is one of my favourite threads with my favourite posters and I keep dipping out because there always seems to be an oddball at the moment. Not sure how many of them are the same person or just someone looking for an argument but it’s annoying!

 

[Scotch Mist]

I have mixed feelings about the bra fitting scenario outlined earlier. My daughter has a trans friend whom I've met and appears to be quite a pleasant person. He has been living as a woman for a number of years and takes hormones. Must admit I didn't ask where they got their bra from! This person doesn't decide to be a man one day and a female the next and is committed to fully transitioning.

I think we have to remember that its not all trans M to F that are the problem. The genuine ones just want to live their lives in peace like my daughters friend. It's these self identifying TRA arse holes who are causing the most stink and aren't doing the others any favours.

After my daughter's friend left my husband laughed and said 'that's a bloke'. His view is that trans women might call themselves women but most straight men wouldn't entertain the idea of dating one whatever people spout on social media!

I'm inclined to think that if you scratch the surface most people are tolerant but deep down you can't change what people are attracted to. If you're straight you want the opposite sex and if you're gay you are same sex attracted. TRAs can try calling everyone out but it won't work. The constant attacks on lesbians wont make any lesbian date them.

 

[Vanelope]

It certainly puts the complaints of Trans people into perspective. Women under the Taliban last time were imprisoned under face coverings, denied education and work and made property of men.

Trans women feel threatened by women’s doctors using female specific language.

 

[Zenchick101]

I couldn't reply, but to the user who asked, Next in Fashion was on Netflix! probably still is.

Cannot stand this guy. Equal access to healthcare? What exactly does he not currently have access to?

can someone explain what non-binary is, because that video just looks like a white guy demanding rights he already has

 

[Notworthy]

Cannot stand this guy. Equal access to healthcare? What exactly does he not currently have access to?

Oh fuck off, healthcare is so male orientated even the fucking rats in experiments are male so that twat is far better served than women

 

[Vanelope]

I’ve thought this for a while. Religious upbringing and not being in the right circles at a young age meant I’ve pretty much suppressed being bisexual until recently and as I’m in a monogamous straight relationship it doesn’t have any bearing on my life at this time. If I end up single at any point I might try dating women. Coming out as queer or bi seems a little pointless. All these celebrities in straight relationships deciding they are queer is a bit

 

[Brigitjonesbuttcheek]

What. The. Everloving. Fuck.

What Ted Bundy and Dahmer was NOT consenting and murder is not a kink. It's not even a kink in practice. If your kink involves grievous bodily harm, it's not a kink, it's just malice.

But choking is enacting murder, Bundy and Darhmers crimes were sexually motivated. Which is my point. Where do we draw the line between "kink" and unacceptable perversion. As I said my line would be drawn at the point that you're hurting or endangering others. People draw their own personal lines, but it seems that the acceptable line drawn by society in general is getting closer and closer to what was traditionally considered a crime.

You said gbh isn't acceptable, but leaving marks on someone's neck because you have choked them so hard is injuring someone and endangering their life.

The line is being blurred between kink and crime, abusive men have got away with murder because they have claimed kink and rough sex. This is why many of us feel that normalising any and all fantasies/perversion is dangerous.

It is some people's kink to rape and kill, how can you say it's vital for humans to explore their fantasies but not if xyz. You can't have it both ways.