I moved to a new area 2 years ago and was just starting to make in roads into making friends and a social life when the goddamn pandemic hit! I’m not sure how to pick up the pieces once normal life resumes I don’t make friends that easily and find socialising difficult at times.
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I used to have one best friend in high school. I also had a group of girlfriends in school, we had great times together, but they made fun of me a lot (bitchy comments that hurt) so they weren’t really friends I recognized later and we lost contact after high school. But my very best friend and I kept in touch after high school and a few years later I was the one who always had to contact her and kept the relationship going. I never heard from her first and I decided to not contact her anymore and I never heard from her again. It also happened a lot back then that people wanted to hang out with me because they had nobody else and only hang with me for a short poriod of time until they had someone else to hang out with or only when they had problems. This happened to me maybe 3 or 4 times. I doubted myself and gave myself a hard time for people not wanting to be friends with me. After these experiences in high school and in my early adulthood I think I’ve developed trust issues and don’t let people come too close to me.
I am an adult now, was shy when I was a child and I still am. It’s hard for me to socialize with other people and to meet new people. In work or study environments I always have people to talk to who I call acquaintances, but no real friends. I’m also introverted. 80% of the time I’m completely fine having no friends and sometimes I wished I had a group of friends to hang out with or friends to talk to about my problems. I also got frowned upon by family for not having friends, I hear this once or twice a year. It hurts sometimes, but I’m glad I’m not the only one after reading posts in different threads... It feels good to write this off my chest.
Also, ignore any grammar mistakes (it feels less scary to write in my second language).
I am an adult now, was shy when I was a child and I still am. It’s hard for me to socialize with other people and to meet new people. In work or study environments I always have people to talk to who I call acquaintances, but no real friends. I’m also introverted. 80% of the time I’m completely fine having no friends and sometimes I wished I had a group of friends to hang out with or friends to talk to about my problems. I also got frowned upon by family for not having friends, I hear this once or twice a year. It hurts sometimes, but I’m glad I’m not the only one after reading posts in different threads... It feels good to write this off my chest.
Also, ignore any grammar mistakes (it feels less scary to write in my second language).
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I feel you. I'm about to move into a country where I know no one and I'm afraid about the social life aspect a lot. I'm usually easy going and social but it's a different language, a different culture and a super demanding job in the midst of a pandemic and I am honestly terrified. Thank god for tattle lol
I am kind of similar. I have a few really good friends, like people who I know if tit hit the fan I could turn to, but I really don't see them much and it's not a group. It's individual people.
I did have a group of friends that I had from school but they were so bitchy and clique so I removed myself from it. I don't want to behave like a 14 year old school girl and I certainly won't fight for someones friendship.
I think sometimes social media makes things seem like they're better than they are. I always felt crappy that I never had a girl group that all met up and had so much fun and love for each other. I think that's why I stayed with my school group for so long despite the fact they were treating me badly. but now when I think about it, I actually hate having to be in groups of people anyway cause it's exhausting, so it's not actually what I want. It's what social media makes me think I should want.
Overall I'm pretty content. I really like my own company so there is that but sometimes I do feel like I'm no one's important person if that make sense? Like I'm never anyone's first choice, but by the same token, as selfish as this may sound, I am my own first choice. I'd rather have no friends that crappy ones.
I did have a group of friends that I had from school but they were so bitchy and clique so I removed myself from it. I don't want to behave like a 14 year old school girl and I certainly won't fight for someones friendship.
I think sometimes social media makes things seem like they're better than they are. I always felt crappy that I never had a girl group that all met up and had so much fun and love for each other. I think that's why I stayed with my school group for so long despite the fact they were treating me badly. but now when I think about it, I actually hate having to be in groups of people anyway cause it's exhausting, so it's not actually what I want. It's what social media makes me think I should want.
Overall I'm pretty content. I really like my own company so there is that but sometimes I do feel like I'm no one's important person if that make sense? Like I'm never anyone's first choice, but by the same token, as selfish as this may sound, I am my own first choice. I'd rather have no friends that crappy ones.
I feel like a lot of people have strong friendships/groups from their time at uni, I didn’t go and I do feel like that’s when I began to notice people had bigger social circles than me (though it was also when Facebook was created so that might be it!)
I would really struggle to be in a friendship group from my school days. I can imagine it’s difficult to avoid the same dynamics you had back then which probably don’t serve a lot of people into adulthood.
I would really struggle to be in a friendship group from my school days. I can imagine it’s difficult to avoid the same dynamics you had back then which probably don’t serve a lot of people into adulthood.
I'd love that too
, maybe one day!Uni was (I'm still there but I'm on my year abroad so doesn't count atm lmao) the worst time for friends for me. Especially freshers.
I don't drink so I really struggled with fitting in because of that, and it really felt like everyone was having the most amazing time and had loads of friends and I had made one, who I now don't speak to.
I haven't used Instagram or Facebook 3 years now, I don't miss it. Most of it is fake anyways in my opinion, so I don't miss it. But for me I also think it's TV shows and movies that set the norm to socialize within groups I think.
When I first did the test I was also an INFJ, but a few years later I am an INFP.
I'm not sure how accurate the test is though.
I feel the same, but it's mainly what society expects us to have.
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I don't really have any friends either. I have one life long friend who I rarely see, we message time to time but that's all it really is now. I've always been quite shy and never felt that I fit in anywhere. I work and I'm friendly with my colleagues but I wouldn't feel like I could see them outside of work. I'm a single parent so I just spend all my time with my children which I'm happy and content with but it bothers me abit when I take my children for days out and I see groups of people sat together and I'm just sat by myself whilst my children are off playing.
I have no friends, by choice. (I do have a husband though. 15 years total together.) I've always been a loner, never had a very large friend group. It doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes it bothers me that not having any friends doesn't bother me lol. But I am very introverted, prefer my own company, have solitary hobbies, and am just very selfish with my time in general. The only thing I found difficult about lockdown was not having enough alone time when my husband was wfh and not seeing his friends every other Friday or Saturday.
I had a therapist years ago who told me there was something very wrong with me and to "cure" my anxiety and depression I needed to make friends. I stopped seeing her after that, but for a few years I did try to go to meet ups, writing groups, etc but only because I felt like maybe I was a freak. I never lasted long in these attempts because I found it exhausting and deep down I wasn't interested in people. For me the effort required to make friends isn't worth the "rewards", if that makes sense.
I had a therapist years ago who told me there was something very wrong with me and to "cure" my anxiety and depression I needed to make friends. I stopped seeing her after that, but for a few years I did try to go to meet ups, writing groups, etc but only because I felt like maybe I was a freak. I never lasted long in these attempts because I found it exhausting and deep down I wasn't interested in people. For me the effort required to make friends isn't worth the "rewards", if that makes sense.
Good luck I’m sure everything will be fine. X
I had 3 friends i used to go out with. I'm only close to 1 of them, other 2 are a new addition.
However, my close friend moved to another city for work and the other 2 haven't been responding to our group chat and haven't talked for 1.5 months.
I rang one of them she didn't pick up. The other 1 i can't be bothered.
It sucks cuz I feel so lonely also I'm curious why they decided to ghost me and my friend out of nowhere.
However, my close friend moved to another city for work and the other 2 haven't been responding to our group chat and haven't talked for 1.5 months.
I rang one of them she didn't pick up. The other 1 i can't be bothered.
It sucks cuz I feel so lonely also I'm curious why they decided to ghost me and my friend out of nowhere.
I have one friend. I find it easy to chat to people but I'm terrible at keeping friends because am really bad at contacting people. I never initiate contact with anyone other than my mum, my sister or my partner. The one friend I do have, I have because she has persisted in contact. I think I'm a good friend, I'm caring and I listen and I am fun but I just don't have the urge to be in contact with people and they get fed up of doing all the running, I think. It bothers me that I don't have friends that I can have girly nights with but I'm also content with my life as it is. I have three nieces who aren't much younger than me and I feel so comfortable chatting to them anytime along with my sister that they are enough. Thinking about it, they are all similar to me, they don't have big groups of friends either.
I know how you all feel! I’m terribly Lonely. I would love even one girl friend to chat to. That’s why I came here to try chat and make friends. I’m am only child, my college friends were more acquaintances so I don’t have any contact with them. I only have my boyfriend and father, my mother has no contact as she is abusive towards me. They come home late at night, eat and go to bed. Sometimes the first time I speak aloud all day is when they come home. My best friend was my grandmother she passed 2 years ago now then our dog had to be put down a few months later. They were my world!! Still find myself missing them and crying to this day. Sorry for the overshare.
Any friends welcome!!
Any friends welcome!!
Friends are highly over rated. I've been on both ends of the spectrum through out my life, being a natural introvert, I was forced out of my comfort zone when I had to move to a communal woman's refuge. From then I learnt to be more extroverted, I've seemed to attract "friends" like flies round horseshit. Most only call when they need something, or to offload their crap or gossip of others. Which can often impact me negatively. I have one friend who has problem after problem, will offload until I'm physically drained often after her own downward spiral of actions which could have been easily prevented had she taken any advice in the first place. My assistance to her family court hearings and so forth. I keep my distance by choice these days and envy myself when I had no mates and was obligation free. I deal with my own problems head on myself and I would rather go without than borrow money, so why should I compromise myself for others? I'm also not as naturally needy of company for the sake of company as some of my friends along the way. Accepting its not a natural trait of my personality to have friends has been key, because I'm really not! I find it tiresome! Draining! I'm also wary of others which does not help. I'm coming to the realisation distancing myself and having little to do with my mates has improved my mental health!
So I wouldn't be too concerned with not having any, especially if you want without. Social media certainly does not help. But in contrast look at those who do not boast of such social interaction. It will certainly be much more higher, those that dont! Also when I have been in great company, I've never ever documented it on social media!
You're best off with a dog or a cat if it is nice company you want.
So I wouldn't be too concerned with not having any, especially if you want without. Social media certainly does not help. But in contrast look at those who do not boast of such social interaction. It will certainly be much more higher, those that dont! Also when I have been in great company, I've never ever documented it on social media!
You're best off with a dog or a cat if it is nice company you want.
That really broke my heart! its so hard to make friends as an adult and at the minute you can’t even try. I hope you find some comfort on here with Tattle, I know we’re technically all strangers but it does feel like a big friendship group sometimes! you can message me anytime you feel like chat and I’m sure I won’t be the only one who would love to chat to you
This thread makes me feel seen! You’re not alone 
I watch shows like sex and the city and it hurts sometimes I wish I had a group of women to lean on. It’s hard because I live by myself, I’m single. I’m not unattractive (in terms of dating) I don’t think, but I can be awkward until I get used to someone so it takes a while for me to bond with people. I have odd friends here and there but nothing close. I think I block my own blessings sometimes because if I get put in a social situation, I want to run home 
I watch shows like sex and the city and it hurts sometimes I wish I had a group of women to lean on. It’s hard because I live by myself, I’m single. I’m not unattractive (in terms of dating) I don’t think, but I can be awkward until I get used to someone so it takes a while for me to bond with people. I have odd friends here and there but nothing close. I think I block my own blessings sometimes because if I get put in a social situation, I want to run home @birdiefly246 thank you so much, I always found making friends hard.
Its hard to open up but I’m trying.
Likewise anyone is welcome to message me and vent or just chat!!
Its hard to open up but I’m trying.
Likewise anyone is welcome to message me and vent or just chat!!
I feel you. I am quite anti social in the sense that I like socialising on my terms which isn't always a good recipe for a friendship. A lot of the friends I have live away or are very busy which is handy for me. I'm the same with a group. I always feel like the odd one out of a group when I am in one. I remember starting uni and seeing all these people make friends and having the time of their life, and I was so lonely cause I didn't make one.This thread makes me feel seen! You’re not alone
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