The things you see on social media aren’t real. I have an acquaintance (friend of a friend) who I know is always having “drama” in her group, they have been friends since school and honestly I think they all hate each other but they put on such a show for social media. Loads of stories/screenshots and reposts “love my girls” “couldn’t do it without you” crap - when in reality they are bitching about each other constantly and probably wondering when they’re going to get cut out of the group.Thanks everyone, I don't feel so alone now
I think it really hits me sometimes when I look at IG and its somebody's birthday and they repost loads of birthday wishes, gifts, cards etc and I just get a couple of whatsapps from my family haha! And I am happy with that but thats when it kind of hits home.
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Hi all. I don't really have any friends either, i have ''friends'' but they are more acquaintances, you know the kind that comment on your social media, few that i would meet up with a few times a year, but would never really hear from unless i contacted them. I used to have a best friend that I did everything with up till 3ish years ago. We had been friends for over 10yrs and sadly she let someone manipulate her. Basically i was seeing a guy and we were all this big happy group, the fella and i didn't work, he became very controlling, told me he was single and could do what he wanted etc, would call me names and just generally didn't work... anyway we stopped seeing one another and i eventually moved on... but he was still friends with my ex best mate so would continually say stuff to her, try to come between us and she basically choose that group over me as she had enough being in the middle and he would play the victim and lie about me. I met someone and i have been with him now for 2 & a half years. its just basically us.. he has loads of friends, always whatsapping them etc and i just have nobody other than my family. I find it hard to keep convo's going with friends, i dont have much confidence and im really anxious always worried they are judging me, it doesn't overly bother me but sometimes i do just wish i had a best friend to talk to on a daily basis. thankfully my partner is my best friend... im 30 now, most of the ones i went to school with etc have stopped partying and have their own wee families but they have friends too.. makes me sad sometimes but nothing i can really do.
I've got one, possibly two friends. To be honest, I prefer my own company. I've found I tend to attract drama queens / waifs and strays, and it becomes quite draining constantly having to help people with their problems. Occasionally I'd like someone who I can let off steam with, but most of the time I just sort of pick through problems on my own. I've travelled alone, I used to live on my own (now with my partner) and I've moved abroad on my own. I'm happy in my bubble.
I'm close to my sister, and I have my partner, but I still really value my alone time. I can often feel my social battery running out, and I think...I really must retreat now.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If you're feeling lonely and isolated, it's a different matter.
I'm close to my sister, and I have my partner, but I still really value my alone time. I can often feel my social battery running out, and I think...I really must retreat now.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If you're feeling lonely and isolated, it's a different matter.
I don’t have any friends either. Not any that I see. I made one really close friend at university but she lives in Scotland. We text everyday though and talk through voice notes so I’m lucky to have her. But actual friends wise, I have no one I could call to go for a coffee with (pre Covid of course) or I couldn’t rely on anyone if I needed help.
I have zero trust in people and I think this is my issue. I was badly bullied in high school by a former childhood best friend and a group of girls I thought were my friends. I got death threats, beaten up in the school corridors. I stopped going to school and spent my teenage years home schooled and playing the Sims
I went to university at 20 and I would say I made semi-friends when I was there; just people you sit with in lectures, get lunch with etc but I don’t talk to them now. I’m very very sarcastic, dry, blunt, quick witted and I think people take this as me being a witch. My friend who lives in Scotland told me when she first met me she thought I was a witch But once you get to know me, it’s just my personality and sense of humour.
Overall, I’m happy being a loner but some days it’s tough. I love Sex and The City, so one day I hope I have a group or girl mates like Carrie Bradshaw and co!
I have zero trust in people and I think this is my issue. I was badly bullied in high school by a former childhood best friend and a group of girls I thought were my friends. I got death threats, beaten up in the school corridors. I stopped going to school and spent my teenage years home schooled and playing the Sims
I went to university at 20 and I would say I made semi-friends when I was there; just people you sit with in lectures, get lunch with etc but I don’t talk to them now. I’m very very sarcastic, dry, blunt, quick witted and I think people take this as me being a witch. My friend who lives in Scotland told me when she first met me she thought I was a witch But once you get to know me, it’s just my personality and sense of humour.Overall, I’m happy being a loner but some days it’s tough. I love Sex and The City, so one day I hope I have a group or girl mates like Carrie Bradshaw and co!
So good to hear others in a similar position.
I do have some friends but none that I feel comfortable enough to suggest meeting up with (I def have a fear of rejection)...I find work relationships easiest as it’s a captive audience and I’m not worrying they’d rather be somewhere else (as we all would be).
I’m also quite picky though and feel like I get easily irritated by people. I’d rather have my own company than force myself to spend time with people who drain me.
like others, it hits home sometimes when you see others in similar circumstances to you (eg other mums on mat leave for me) who have friends coming out of their ears and meet a different friend each day (not talking about current COVID times). I worry it’s because I’m a difficult person in some way but don’t have the self awareness to see where I am going wrong.
I do have some friends but none that I feel comfortable enough to suggest meeting up with (I def have a fear of rejection)...I find work relationships easiest as it’s a captive audience and I’m not worrying they’d rather be somewhere else (as we all would be
).I’m also quite picky though and feel like I get easily irritated by people. I’d rather have my own company than force myself to spend time with people who drain me.
like others, it hits home sometimes when you see others in similar circumstances to you (eg other mums on mat leave for me) who have friends coming out of their ears and meet a different friend each day (not talking about current COVID times). I worry it’s because I’m a difficult person in some way but don’t have the self awareness to see where I am going wrong.
I have probably 2 people I could really call friends, they don’t live locally anymore so we communicate via WhatsApp most of the the time. Seen one of them in person once this year but it’s been harder due to the restrictions.
On the whole I’m ok with not having loads of friends or a super busy social life. I like having a quiet life with my family. I think having a large group of friends similar to what I had in school and college would just be too much for me to maintain now. Even though sometimes the idea of it sounds fun. The group of friends I used to be a part of are all still friends, and I’m friendly with them if I see them, but there’s a lot of bitching in that group and fallouts over the years. It honestly scares me lol. And although they gush over each other on social media when it’s someone’s birthday or something, it’s all for show really. Social media is a popularity contest at the end of the day, everyone wants to be seen as someone who has ‘the best life’ and the most friends or what ever. The reality is that often there’s a lot of ‘baggage’ that comes with being part of a friendship group sometimes, especially if the friendship has been going for a long time. I’m not saying this is always the case, this has just been my personal experience.
If you’re happy with how things are then you don’t need to force yourself to change. Social media can make us feel like we need to ‘keep up’ but would you be bothered about not having lots of friends if you didn’t use social media. I feel like we’d all be more content in life if we took less notice of what others are doing.
On the whole I’m ok with not having loads of friends or a super busy social life. I like having a quiet life with my family. I think having a large group of friends similar to what I had in school and college would just be too much for me to maintain now. Even though sometimes the idea of it sounds fun. The group of friends I used to be a part of are all still friends, and I’m friendly with them if I see them, but there’s a lot of bitching in that group and fallouts over the years. It honestly scares me lol. And although they gush over each other on social media when it’s someone’s birthday or something, it’s all for show really. Social media is a popularity contest at the end of the day, everyone wants to be seen as someone who has ‘the best life’ and the most friends or what ever. The reality is that often there’s a lot of ‘baggage’ that comes with being part of a friendship group sometimes, especially if the friendship has been going for a long time. I’m not saying this is always the case, this has just been my personal experience.
If you’re happy with how things are then you don’t need to force yourself to change. Social media can make us feel like we need to ‘keep up’ but would you be bothered about not having lots of friends if you didn’t use social media. I feel like we’d all be more content in life if we took less notice of what others are doing.
I’m more of an acquaintance person than a bestie mates person. I get on with people, get in touch etc but find it hard work to maintain a massive bubble of friends. It’s taken me years to see that social media is smoke and mirrors and a lot of people like to try and pretend they have a huge entourage of close friends but really they are probably only maintaining true friendships to a handful of people plus their families. I wouldn’t worry too much about how many friends you are supposed to have, and remember, you can always make new friendships if you need and want to.
So guys I think this thread confirms it’s completely normal 
No worries, it's good to hear others say it tooSo guys I think this thread confirms it’s completely normal
In real life i always feel really self conscious as everyone seems to talk as if they have a huge entourage of friends for thing like hen-dos etc. I would really struggle and none of the friends I do have don’t really know each other so def don’t have a girl gang as such.So guys I think this thread confirms it’s completely normal
I posted this on another quite similar thread but it definately applies here
While feeling sorry for myself over lockdown i’ve realised that my friends are more aquaintances due to the fact that my 3 year old doesn’t know any of them
My oldest friend splits her time between Ireland & Barbados so its not her fault she isn’t around. My other friend takes in any waif & stray and ends up being taken advantage of but will always brush me off to spend time with them. My other friends 1 doesn’t give a tit about my daughter, doesn’t even ask after her and the other is lovely but we never see her.
It makes me really sad as i remember being close to my friends kids and loving them like nephews. I have a big family so i’m never alone but i do feel lonely.
While feeling sorry for myself over lockdown i’ve realised that my friends are more aquaintances due to the fact that my 3 year old doesn’t know any of them
My oldest friend splits her time between Ireland & Barbados so its not her fault she isn’t around. My other friend takes in any waif & stray and ends up being taken advantage of but will always brush me off to spend time with them. My other friends 1 doesn’t give a tit about my daughter, doesn’t even ask after her and the other is lovely but we never see her.
It makes me really sad as i remember being close to my friends kids and loving them like nephews. I have a big family so i’m never alone but i do feel lonely.
I think unfortunately when you get older you grow apart from people because priorities change. I had a friend who had a baby youngish and she cut me out of her life because I didn’t want kids yet and never included me in anything then now tried to talk to me and I think just because I now have a step son you would like to be my friend againI posted this on another quite similar thread but it definately applies here
While feeling sorry for myself over lockdown i’ve realised that my friends are more aquaintances due to the fact that my 3 year old doesn’t know any of them
My oldest friend splits her time between Ireland & Barbados so its not her fault she isn’t around. My other friend takes in any waif & stray and ends up being taken advantage of but will always brush me off to spend time with them. My other friends 1 doesn’t give a tit about my daughter, doesn’t even ask after her and the other is lovely but we never see her.
It makes me really sad as i remember being close to my friends kids and loving them like nephews. I have a big family so i’m never alone but i do feel lonely.
I had this exact same feeling at the start of the year and I decided to make more effort with friends now and I say yes to things. If someone is lovely then ask her for a coffee when we can actually get out of the house, the the friend that doesn’t ask about your daughter I would just bin her off she sounds selfish I always ask about my friends children. I also used to attract the strange friends once this girl had no phone so she agreed to buy mine for 150 and I said she could pay me back 50 a month and she paid once and never spoke to me again so I learnt my lesson the hard way. Don’t feel sad we all go through periods of life where we feel like this in my opinion if they are your true friends they don’t care what you look like or what you’ve got or how much time you have but they should be there for you as you are for them XxHmm, I do and I don't have friends. As in I had a really close group of 6 of us at uni (we all lived together at various points) and we are still in touch via WhatsApp, but we probably only meet once or twice a year now even though we aren't even that far from each other. The WhatsApp group will remain silent for months, have a day or two of a big spate of messages and then go silent again. I have one mate left from school and again it's a similar situation. I did have a couple of work mates but they all left and then fell out of touch so I just have acquaintances now.
There's no one really that I could message to meet for a coffee or go for a walk with etc and there's such a lack of stuff going on in my life right now (even pre covid). I don't generally mind a lot of the time and am happy with my husbands company for the most part. However I do feel I have changed and become really mundane, lazy and boring due to lack of a proper social life. I feel like I've lost the spark I used to have. I'm an extroverted introvert so while I inherently need my own space, I do enjoy being social. I also worry for my future kids because a huge, huge part of my life was going to my parents friends houses when I was young and playing with their kids, and I had so many cousins. My kids are unlikely to have this experience at all and I already feel so sorry for them.
People say it does get better when you have kids as you make mum friends etc. But I do find it quite difficult to talk to new people as I start off quite reserved and I have a resting witch face!
There's no one really that I could message to meet for a coffee or go for a walk with etc and there's such a lack of stuff going on in my life right now (even pre covid). I don't generally mind a lot of the time and am happy with my husbands company for the most part. However I do feel I have changed and become really mundane, lazy and boring due to lack of a proper social life. I feel like I've lost the spark I used to have. I'm an extroverted introvert so while I inherently need my own space, I do enjoy being social. I also worry for my future kids because a huge, huge part of my life was going to my parents friends houses when I was young and playing with their kids, and I had so many cousins. My kids are unlikely to have this experience at all and I already feel so sorry for them.
People say it does get better when you have kids as you make mum friends etc. But I do find it quite difficult to talk to new people as I start off quite reserved and I have a resting witch face!
I've just moved 4 hours away from my home town, and especially during a pandemic and working from home I've struggled with holding onto friendships from home, and making new ones. I feel like everyone is in the same boat in some aspect. I'm a very social person so it definitely effects me not having the group chats I once had that would be talking about random crap or a meme sent in and I especially miss the coffee dates but I suppose everyone is missing out on that currently.
I probably have 3 people (who I’m not related to) that I consider friends (ie people who I would tell if I had life changing news).
We text maybe once a month and meet up a few times a year. I used to think I should have more cos it looked like everyone else was in regular contact with theirs and had big groups of them etc. Until I realised I’m happy the way I am.
We text maybe once a month and meet up a few times a year. I used to think I should have more cos it looked like everyone else was in regular contact with theirs and had big groups of them etc. Until I realised I’m happy the way I am.
I have a child under 1 so I can form a bubble . I don't have anyone to form a bubble with.
I'm so glad I stumbled across this, I'm quite new to tattle!
I've never had a massive amount of female friends through my life, I left school and went to do a plumbing apprenticeship and I'm no longer in contact with any of the guys in my class from college. Unfortunately construction is still very male dominated and I work for a very large company. I get on with everyone and will do my best to help anyone but would only say I have a handful of work friends, one of which has phoned me at least twice a day this week as I'm isolating after being in contact with someone who tested positive. I think as everyone gets older they find out who are actually worth having around and going extra for.
My long term boyfriend is the complete opposite, he knows everyone, has a big group of friends he's had from a young age. We do have mutual friends through our interest in cars but I feel they are more his friends if that makes sense?
But is it all it's cracked up to be with groups of friends? My two sisters have a lot of friends and to be honest I couldn't put up with the draaaammmaaaa
I've never had a massive amount of female friends through my life, I left school and went to do a plumbing apprenticeship and I'm no longer in contact with any of the guys in my class from college. Unfortunately construction is still very male dominated and I work for a very large company. I get on with everyone and will do my best to help anyone but would only say I have a handful of work friends, one of which has phoned me at least twice a day this week as I'm isolating after being in contact with someone who tested positive. I think as everyone gets older they find out who are actually worth having around and going extra for.
My long term boyfriend is the complete opposite, he knows everyone, has a big group of friends he's had from a young age. We do have mutual friends through our interest in cars but I feel they are more his friends if that makes sense?
But is it all it's cracked up to be with groups of friends? My two sisters have a lot of friends and to be honest I couldn't put up with the draaaammmaaaa
I don’t have many friends, only long term primary and high school friends I keep in touch with on Fb.
When I was 19 I had just left the job where all my colleagues were my friends but we never kept in touch after I left. I felt lost. Then I met my partner who had 2 kids. I worked 5 days a week and my 2 days off were spent doing school runs and swimming lessons and the like. I had no friends and was perfectly content. Until I met Laura my best friend in the world. We met at work and even swapped our shifts around so we could work together. She was the only person outside of my family who came to visit me during maternity leave. She is amazing. And, like me, a low maintenance friend. We text about twice a week and see each other at work. I cant wait to see her for a cuppa after lockdown. I didn't think I needed friends but now she is in my life I am never letting her go. You never know maybe friendship will surprise you when you're not looking x
my best friend in the world. We met at work and even swapped our shifts around so we could work together. She was the only person outside of my family who came to visit me during maternity leave. She is amazing. And, like me, a low maintenance friend. We text about twice a week and see each other at work. I cant wait to see her for a cuppa after lockdown. I didn't think I needed friends but now she is in my life I am never letting her go. You never know maybe friendship will surprise you when you're not looking x
I'm same, introvert, solitary hobbies, no friends, never had. I think there are more of us than we think. I don't know what it s like to have a friend as I've never had so i don't 'miss'. I'm not close to family though either and I don't know I'm like this and do feel guilty about it sometimes. I think its a positive thing though to enjoy or prefer your own company. I also read somewhere that the less friends you have the more intelligent you are
so there's that!- Status