I have 2 friends, neither I see very often, I went through a marriage break up late last yr, they were nowhere to be seen just a comment ‘I can’t believe it’ & ‘oh I knew it would end’ both have partners so when I get upset that I’m single their reaction is I will find someone & not to worry (I don’t need a man btw, just some actual adult conversation) I started a new job a few months ago, everyone knows everyone, family members work together so I feel really left out & just don’t seem to fit in anywhere I go, I just do my work, come home & cry when I go to bed, I’m just terribly lonely. I don’t know what to do, I don’t consider myself a bad person, I do lack confidence but try so hard to mask it & I often think because I’m not thin or pretty then that’s why people don’t like me? But then again it’s my own insecurities.
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I just wouldn’t turn up to meet her to be honest, I’d be removing her from all social media instead.
I don't do social media. As we all know the majority of is it is completely false. If friends want to reach me they can do so by phone/Whatsapp etc.
I did move to a new country & started over. I can categorically tell you that it really is the same stuff, different backdrop. It's a romantic idea to 'start over' but in reality it can be quite difficult.
I don't have much to do with my family (they're extremely toxic) and I have very few friends where I am (much of the 'friends' situation has been by choice. I live in a very fake & transient place. I've opted to swerve the majority of people I've met). I value genuine, true connections & I can't pretend.
I had a very unexpected death in my family a couple of years ago. 'Friends' I grew up with really did show their true colours. I'd much rather be alone than deal with awful, selfish people. It's sad, but that's the unfortunate way things turned out.
I'm working on myself to be a better person I guess.
I did move to a new country & started over. I can categorically tell you that it really is the same stuff, different backdrop. It's a romantic idea to 'start over' but in reality it can be quite difficult.
I don't have much to do with my family (they're extremely toxic) and I have very few friends where I am (much of the 'friends' situation has been by choice. I live in a very fake & transient place. I've opted to swerve the majority of people I've met). I value genuine, true connections & I can't pretend.
I had a very unexpected death in my family a couple of years ago. 'Friends' I grew up with really did show their true colours. I'd much rather be alone than deal with awful, selfish people. It's sad, but that's the unfortunate way things turned out.
I'm working on myself to be a better person I guess.
I read something today about oversharing being a sign of extreme loneliness.
I know loads of people who over share too much on Facebook and Instagram it's never ending and alot of it I think should be kept private, but saying that the over sharing could be down to wanting attention cause they are lonely
Loads of women and men are not slim and pretty/handsome so I wouldn't worry about it really. I've known loads of big women with nice husbands and boyfriends. I've also had a few very beautiful women friends who have had nothing but trouble with really vile cheating boyfriends and being hit on all the time by lecherous men everywhere.
You just have to really force yourself to join a few things in the new year that you have even a passing interest in, then at least you will be talking to people.What about a running group for beginners or Zumba class or climbing/bouldering etc, walking groups etc or even Slimming World?xxx
You’re not alone. Iv seen a quote before they sometimes depression is coming home from work and sitting quietly until it’s time to go to bed. I know myself I got to a point where I didn’t even read or watch tv anymore I just came home and felt crap about myself until it was time to go to work again. We are a social species and we all need connection. I’m not sure what advice to give but I do know how you feel.
I have actually been thinking of trying to form some kind of community or something to help people and women like us. I struggle to “mingle” which makes it even harder to make friends even when you do get out the house I find.
These 2 “friends” you speak of are not actually your friends. Ditch them.
You need to start looking inwards and thinking about what would make YOU happy; a new job or change or career? A new place/country? New hobbies? Start building a life for yourself and you’ll find you will start to meet like minded people but you have to make it happen.
I did join the gym in the hope of finding friends, went quite often first few months but then realised no one was there to make friends, even did classes but people went together & threes a crowd, so I stopped going, I did lose some weight tho so suppose not all bad.
My kids tell me I don’t need friends, this coming from my kids with busy social lives
I just look on as they get ready to go out wishing it was me, then hearing all about their time out.I think even if I had just one friend & we met up once a month it would be something to look forward to, god I’m a miserable witch
I find this an interesting subject bc I know for a fact ppl associate me with being “open” (code for oversharing) yet the things I post are NOT my deepest darkest fears or thoughts
I’d never put those online but I’ll make the odd self deprecating joke or reference to mental health. I am also neurodivergent and Non-neurodivergents are far more preoccupied with image and social status meaning they are far more selective with what they post, which is perhaps why I get paranoid bc a lot of ppl stick to insta stories of their morning latte evening wine and their kids only. Saying this tho I did have a friend in uni who really did go in with the type of oversharing I never would (eg “having a bad day today / feeling so low / feel like none of my friends are real / tired of fake friends/ no one bothering with me / don’t feel I can carry on” etc it was always up and down 2 days to the next it would boomerang between “I will fight this depression for me and my child” and then it would be the overly depressive stuff again) this is the kind of stuff I think and feel but don’t share online! I actually find it funny when someone’s like “oh it’s good ur so
open“ bc I’m like honey we have not scratched the surface LOLI consider oversharing to often be relative and “in the eye of the beholder” - bc for example, people will feel no way about posting toilet humour i even saw a woman post a photo of how she’s pissed herself when pregnant (I’m not shaming but I was like
ppl will post a pic of their legs with little liquid trickles down them of WEE but think stuff like mental health etc is oversharing? Wow lol) I’ve never been a fart joke person so it amuses me ppl will talk about pebble dashing the loo freely but will consider other stuff oversharingMaybe I’m paranoid thinking that’s how ppl view me, I certainly don’t post dirty laundry etc personal gripes or as I said my deep inner thoughts and fears of how lonely I am. I just find it interesting. I don’t go on Facebook really tbh so I forget how ppl can be on there. I remember my ex’s mum slagging his (divorced) dad off all over Facebook after a row over inheritance….terrible
sorry really went off on one there LOL I just find it an interesting subject
I would go for something like that
I went to an event once and I remember a really extroverted girl having a ball. I felt so out of my element. One guy approached and it put the fear of God in me — his job was as a private investigator. He told me all about the equipment he uses to eavesdrop on people 
Never, ever again.Yeah but you can’t start doing something just to “make friends” - you have to start by doing things that you actually enjoy, because you enjoy them. Do thinks you like and that you’ll have a genuine connection to other people doing the same thing.I did join the gym in the hope of finding friends, went quite often first few months but then realised no one was there to make friends, even did classes but people went together & threes a crowd, so I stopped going, I did lose some weight tho so suppose not all bad.
My kids tell me I don’t need friends, this coming from my kids with busy social lives
I think even if I had just one friend & we met up once a month it would be something to look forward to, god I’m a miserable witch
The shopping algorithm is exciting and I don’t mean it sarcastically
I go there when I’m bored and end up doing some good window shopping.
People definitely use social media for company - the clue is in the name! Unfortunately it can actually make us less social in real life, as we now live through our phones and screens.
I know when I was having a rough time I could easily have posted on FB all day every day, just to feel like I was communicating with someone rather than being alone. I can see why people fall into that habit if they are lonely, if you get likes or comments you feel like you’re interacting. To some extent it’s probably why most of us are on Tattle, to chat and gossip and feel connected to people. Even though we don’t know them!
I always have the same issues with friends - I have some really lovely people in my life who when I see them make me feel loved and supported. But it always seems to be me who makes the effort. I reach out, I suggest meeting, I organise things. Sometimes I would just like a “hey it’s been a while would love to see you” from someone so I know I’m on their mind and it’s important to them that they see me.
I know when I was having a rough time I could easily have posted on FB all day every day, just to feel like I was communicating with someone rather than being alone. I can see why people fall into that habit if they are lonely, if you get likes or comments you feel like you’re interacting. To some extent it’s probably why most of us are on Tattle, to chat and gossip and feel connected to people. Even though we don’t know them!
I always have the same issues with friends - I have some really lovely people in my life who when I see them make me feel loved and supported. But it always seems to be me who makes the effort. I reach out, I suggest meeting, I organise things. Sometimes I would just like a “hey it’s been a while would love to see you” from someone so I know I’m on their mind and it’s important to them that they see me.
It's much more genuine here than on SM, no pics, no names, no visible life achievements to brag about. It's less about ego but actually connecting with people through posts. We get a little dopamine kick with notifications but that's about it.
I'm old enough to remember MSN and IRC and I've really missed something like that.
Oh yes I agree, the fact that it’s anonymous is much better in lots of ways as it’s not so much showing off or attention seeking. I’m on a few threads I’m interested in and I’ve seen lots of really lovely and supportive posts.
I was off of Facebook for years and listened to people complain about it all the time. It was endless scrolling and sadness. Mark Zuckerberg cares not one wit about people’s life satisfaction. My post which came right before yours is a congratulation to him for doing a good job. His goal is to have an audience for sellers.
Facebook is just as sad as people were telling me by the way. I look forward to the groups I joined but even then I feel like people are taking advantage of a captive audience. It’s not a happy place Facebook.
It is just one big advert these days! I still have it but rarely post, mostly catch up with people I used to work with or know vaguely. Not enough to actually want to make the effort to be in touch with them, but my nosey nature enjoys seeing what they’re up to
I’ve spoken to a handful of friends since rejoining. I can coo over their children only for so longIt is just one big advert these days! I still have it but rarely post, mostly catch up with people I used to work with or know vaguely. Not enough to actually want to make the effort to be in touch with them, but my nosey nature enjoys seeing what they’re up to
Posted on here before, but woke up this morning for work and saw that a few of my friends had been round to another friends last night, it was just a short clip on Instagram stories and couldn’t see exactly who was there, but it sounded quite busy in the background. I wasn’t invited and it wasn’t mentioned in our big group chat. Sure, I couldn’t have gone anyway because of work, but it’s just so horrible to not even be asked. None of them would have even known that I was working as I said in the chat previously that I was working a few days this week, but I didn’t specify which days. It’s so stupid but was thinking about it all morning at work and couldn’t concentrate properly. There was a situation like this in summer when I wasn’t invited, but I saw on Instagram that everyone else was. I just don’t know why? What is so wrong with me?
- Status