For anybody struggling ❤

[gossipgal21]

Thank you both so much for the encouragement. I’m a single mum to 3 young children, I’m going to finish doing their bedtime and then see if I can get me head straight enough to message them. A part of why I dont want to is the fear of how I’ll feel afterwards.

come back on here and tell us when you’ve messaged them x

however you feel afterwards is okay. You might feel relieved, scared, or nothing at all and it might feel a huge anticlimax. There’s no right way to feel. We can hold your hand from here!
---

That old adage ‘it’s good to talk’ really is true. Having someone say- you’ve had a lot going on, it’s no wonder you feel the way you feel, can really help!

the first time someone said this to me I was so shocked. But it is a huge and helpful thing indeed x

 

[DrtCrl]

I haven’t read properly in here yet but I just opened the thread and yours was the first post I saw.

I’ve been there, 4 years ago. It’s hard and relentless but believe me, if I can survive it so can you

tag me any time you need a chat or if you have a question xx

An extra special hug for you Dolls, you’ve been so supportive to so many over the last couple of weeks xx

 

[FakeSmile]

come back on here and tell us when you’ve messaged them x

however you feel afterwards is okay. You might feel relieved, scared, or nothing at all and it might feel a huge anticlimax. There’s no right way to feel. We can hold your hand from here!
---

I don’t have very much support around me and that just touched my heart, thank you

 

[PhallusSizeMedium]

Hi all new to this thread was directed from another where alot of people seemed kind hearted on there bless you all. Sorry for everyone struggling right now you are not alone. I have been struggling alot recently, my childhood friend was tragically murdered on Xmas eve, thankfully I wasn't there but it's affected me massively. The GP put in a referral to a counselling service as I've suffered cptsd in the past and I was afraid this would trigger it. They said I can have one to one talks with my go fortnightly so they can keep an eye on me but that was in December and they haven't called me once to check if I am ok and I'm not really okay most nights I struggle to sleep it's alot to take in and with kids I can't find time space to grieve or process what has happened part of me doesn't want to process it for sure not really sure how to deal with it I try and stay positive most days but it's hard. I really am sorry to anyone struggling right now xx

 

[Layla29]

Hey all,

I came here from another thread which has since closed. I didn’t say much on the last thread just comments here and there. I know tattle gets a bad name but literally the group of women in that were so so lovely (most of them) I’m a new mum but def think I’m suffering with PND. I’m so glad this thread has been set up

 

[InTheDollsHouse]

Hey all,

I came here from another thread which has since closed. I didn’t say much on the last thread just comments here and there. I know tattle gets a bad name but literally the group of women in that were so so lovely (most of them) I’m a new mum but def think I’m suffering with PND. I’m so glad this thread has been set up

Please don’t just keep going alone if you feel you have PND. Please please book an appointment with your GP as soon as you can. You can usually do an econsult on their website so you can put it all on there at a time you feel able and then it’s easier when they speak to you because you don’t have to say it all.

There’s also #pndhour on Twitter on Wednesdays at 8-9pm. I used to join in every week but haven’t in ages, it’s so so welcoming and really kind people.

PND is a witch. Don’t struggle alone
---

An extra special hug for you Dolls, you’ve been so supportive to so many over the last couple of weeks xx

Thank you but I really didn’t do any more than anyone else

I haven’t read properly in here yet, I don’t have the capacity right now, but I will over the next day or two xx

 

[Hannah_204]

Thinking of you all single mum with a newborn baby, it’s difficult.

Congratulations

Sorry if this had already been said I’m just catching up, there’s a lovely new baby thread on here full of lovely supportive mums!

 

[gossipgal21]

Hi all new to this thread was directed from another where alot of people seemed kind hearted on there bless you all. Sorry for everyone struggling right now you are not alone. I have been struggling alot recently, my childhood friend was tragically murdered on Xmas eve, thankfully I wasn't there but it's affected me massively. The GP put in a referral to a counselling service as I've suffered cptsd in the past and I was afraid this would trigger it. They said I can have one to one talks with my go fortnightly so they can keep an eye on me but that was in December and they haven't called me once to check if I am ok and I'm not really okay most nights I struggle to sleep it's alot to take in and with kids I can't find time space to grieve or process what has happened part of me doesn't want to process it for sure not really sure how to deal with it I try and stay positive most days but it's hard. I really am sorry to anyone struggling right now xx

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through.

Unfortunately I find things can fall through the gaps at times, it really really shouldn’t happen (and I also had poor support from GP at a time
I needed it the most) but can you contact them to chase up the reviews and for an updated chat to discuss how you are / your sleep etc.

Were you advised how long the referral would take? I’m so sorry I can’t be of more help as don’t feel very experienced with what you have gone through.

however please don’t forget that there are helplines available, Samaritans for example isnt just there for if you are suicidal, it may help to talk to someone just to get that listeningear and to help you get some of it out?

I am sure someone will be along with better advice but sending lots of good wishes your way

 

[Toffeebythesea]

Hey all,

I came here from another thread which has since closed. I didn’t say much on the last thread just comments here and there. I know tattle gets a bad name but literally the group of women in that were so so lovely (most of them) I’m a new mum but def think I’m suffering with PND. I’m so glad this thread has been set up

I'm sorry you're struggling. As mentioned before, please seek help for postpartum mental health. Your GP will be happy you called. Thinking of you

 

[MeghanSnarkle]

[

Hi all new to this thread was directed from another where alot of people seemed kind hearted on there bless you all. Sorry for everyone struggling right now you are not alone. I have been struggling alot recently, my childhood friend was tragically murdered on Xmas eve, thankfully I wasn't there but it's affected me massively. The GP put in a referral to a counselling service as I've suffered cptsd in the past and I was afraid this would trigger it. They said I can have one to one talks with my go fortnightly so they can keep an eye on me but that was in December and they haven't called me once to check if I am ok and I'm not really okay most nights I struggle to sleep it's alot to take in and with kids I can't find time space to grieve or process what has happened part of me doesn't want to process it for sure not really sure how to deal with it I try and stay positive most days but it's hard. I really am sorry to anyone struggling right now xx

It's so heartbreaking when you find the strength from somewhere to reach out for professional help and then in one way or another you get let you down i don' think GPs fully understand how much it sets people back,
You're doing so well under the circumstances lovely

 

[DrtCrl]

Hey all,

I came here from another thread which has since closed. I didn’t say much on the last thread just comments here and there. I know tattle gets a bad name but literally the group of women in that were so so lovely (most of them) I’m a new mum but def think I’m suffering with PND. I’m so glad this thread has been set up

I suffered with PND so I can really empathise. Saying it ‘out loud’ to us is a really brave step Have you heard of PANDAS? They’re a dedicated PND support charity and can provide support in a variety of ways, they really helped me xx

How we can support you – PANDAS Foundation UK

pandasfoundation.org.uk

 

[Jwren]

Hi all new to this thread was directed from another where alot of people seemed kind hearted on there bless you all. Sorry for everyone struggling right now you are not alone. I have been struggling alot recently, my childhood friend was tragically murdered on Xmas eve, thankfully I wasn't there but it's affected me massively. The GP put in a referral to a counselling service as I've suffered cptsd in the past and I was afraid this would trigger it. They said I can have one to one talks with my go fortnightly so they can keep an eye on me but that was in December and they haven't called me once to check if I am ok and I'm not really okay most nights I struggle to sleep it's alot to take in and with kids I can't find time space to grieve or process what has happened part of me doesn't want to process it for sure not really sure how to deal with it I try and stay positive most days but it's hard. I really am sorry to anyone struggling right now xx

I‘m so sorry for the loss of your childhood friend and under such horrific circumstances. It’s such a lot for you to cope with, bless you.
I would contact them again, sometimes they just need a nudge. I know you shouldn’t have to but they could assume you’re okay at the moment when you really need some professional help and support. Please don’t leave it and let it get any worse, let them know you’re struggling and you’ve been waiting since December xx

 

[AllAboutTheMayhem]

Thinking of you all single mum with a newborn baby, it’s difficult.

Hi Lolly. I’ve been a single mum since my daughter was born. I look back now and wonder how I coped but you will. Do you have anyone that can help at all ?
---

Thank you for this thread, it’s a great idea
Personally I’m absolutely terrified of going through the menopause after reading some of the comments in the NB thread. I’m in my late thirties so it’s probably on the horizon and I’m so scared that it’s going to be awful!

It’s one of these things that may or may not affect you. I posted in the NB group about having just gone through it ( I still am really). Some people sail through it , just like the lucky ladies who sail through pregnancy with no sickness or whatever. Others might have a hot flush, and others can be absolutely floored with it.

But I do feel that we need to be taught much earlier about what can happen, even to the point of dietary changes that can help etc. I also think we have to be able to understand we don’t always have to turn to HRT as that’s dominating at the moment with the likes of Davina!

A lot of us ladies are having children later in life also and possibly segueing straight from post natal issues in to peri. I look back now and realise that’s what happened with me. I put so much stuff down to being a single ( older) mum to a new baby ( that didn’t sleep, EVER!) and b/f for 2.5 years. By the time all that was done I was definitely peri.
Also a lot of ladies come off the pill having been on it for many years and enter in to peri.

The changes are subtle to begin with and only in hindsight do I see when it started.

Always here to chat if anyone wants.
---

I’m really sorry to use this thread for this as people really do have it so much worse - I KNOW that’s not how it works but I do feel guilty having read what I have. You’re all marvellous and brave people.

I felt I wanted to talk about this since reading about Nicola and all the threads about her but didn’t want to put it in her thread. It’s not even a huge thing really.

I was adopted as a baby and over the last couple of years I’ve been on a journey of reuniting with birth family and gaining access to my adoption records. It has been difficult and emotional but led to some very positive relationships with my grandmother, an aunt and an uncle.

I found out that my birth mother passed away in 2006 after being desperate to reunite with me (difficult for me to find peace with this). She loved me immensely but had struggles including struggles with alcohol. It’s why I find it hard to see a woman painted as “just” an alcoholic or “just” anything. The media, and some people, have such a blinkered view.

some of the harsh realities I have learned include the fact that she would leave me as a baby to go and drink and would be gone for days at a time. When she was sober and feeling well she couldn’t bear to be parted from me. So it was not straightforward but obviously the ultimate decision was made to keep me safe which I understand, and I was taken from her against her wishes.

I feel so much love and sadness and compassion for her especially because I think it’s such a complex illness.

someone said in a previous post there’s no such thing as a perfect mother, we are all just imperfect humans with struggles doing the best we can at the time.

There actually is no point to this at all, I have just felt this bubbling inside me for a few days and needed this space to let it out. Nobody needs to reply but I thank you for listening to me

Hi Thank you for sharing. I’d just like to say that I work with people who have struggles like your mum did. And you’re absolutely right to look at it as a very complex illness. To be able to look at it with compassion rather than anger is a really mature attitude. And one that really helps when processing childhood trauma and grief.
It’s something that’s very hard to understand or process if you’ve never had alcohol or drug issues. Only today I was working with someone who has lost both of her children due to her various struggles, and we were talking about the lady that’s looking after her children. I have no doubt that your mum will have loved you as my lady today loves her children. But sometimes the battle is so hard & not everyone gets the support.
Always here if you need to talk

 

[Jelly Bean]

Hey all,

I came here from another thread which has since closed. I didn’t say much on the last thread just comments here and there. I know tattle gets a bad name but literally the group of women in that were so so lovely (most of them) I’m a new mum but def think I’m suffering with PND. I’m so glad this thread has been set up

The main thing with PND (I had it terribly many years ago now) is to remember it doesn't make you a bad mum and you should feel no guilt at all about it (hopefully you don't). But the IG perfect image of motherhood is not universal by any means - the 'I'm so in love with my baby and feel so fulfilled' declarations, when you just feel hollow and sad, can make you feel you are doing it wrong. Be kind to yourself. You're probably doing a great job.

 

[PhallusSizeMedium]

Hey all,

I came here from another thread which has since closed. I didn’t say much on the last thread just comments here and there. I know tattle gets a bad name but literally the group of women in that were so so lovely (most of them) I’m a new mum but def think I’m suffering with PND. I’m so glad this thread has been set up

Congratulations on becoming a mum. It's definitely not easy, PND can be really hard I was first mis diagnosed as PND was actually PTSD but still I can understand why they thought it. I haven't personally suffered PND but I can emphasize I have a friend and she had a really traumatic birth and that trigger her PND her child is almost 4 and she's still suffering depression but she's alot better now. I think the hardest thing she said was being scared to admit she had it and asking for the help so you have done absolutely amazing recognise it and ask for the support. We are all here for you one hundred percent. I agree with what someone else said Instagram and all the people making out motherhood is so easy and they are sailing through it it's all bs if you ask me because no mum with so little sleep is so bleeping happy I'm not having it lol. All your beautiful little Baba needs is love and care and I don't know you but I can tell you love and care so much already for your little one. Try and also take some time for YOU, some quiet time, a walk, the gym, getting your nails done whatever makes you feel good, don't forget about yourself mummy you are important. If not already definitely reach out to a helpline and also I haven't been on FB years but when I was I was in alot of lovely private parents advice groups and feeding groups ect I felt like all those people I didn't even know where my real friends lol had so much much needed advice (and laughs) from those pages definitely try and join a parents group if you can online xx

 

[mRsKbRoOkS]

Lots of love to you all dealing with stuggles in your lives, you are all warriors

I have my own issues but I’m not ready to accept them or even acknowledge them. I push it all to the back of my mind. So well done everyone here Maybe I’ll talk one day for now I’ll listen to your stories and perhaps they will give me the courage to confront mine

 

[Squittel]

Hi all, reporting in from a now closed thread (that I actually miss because although the subject matter was tragic, the people in there were lovely). This thread is a lovely idea and I’m reading through posts in here and hope everyone is ok Hang in there.

I’d also like to recommend Samaritans. I was very low about this time last year and they really helped me. The number is 116 123.

 

[Dotty Merton]

Hi all, I was missing you all. The other thread finished so quickly and with the turn of events at the end I wanted to come by and say hello as the story started to get rather close to home on a personal level for me. As some will know already, my Mum died by suicide some years ago. I also have a friend who went missing and was murdered and one of my besties died young #fuckcancer just before crimbo too.

Hi all new to this thread was directed from another where alot of people seemed kind hearted on there bless you all. Sorry for everyone struggling right now you are not alone. I have been struggling alot recently, my childhood friend was tragically murdered on Xmas eve, thankfully I wasn't there but it's affected me massively. The GP put in a referral to a counselling service as I've suffered cptsd in the past and I was afraid this would trigger it. They said I can have one to one talks with my go fortnightly so they can keep an eye on me but that was in December and they haven't called me once to check if I am ok and I'm not really okay most nights I struggle to sleep it's alot to take in and with kids I can't find time space to grieve or process what has happened part of me doesn't want to process it for sure not really sure how to deal with it I try and stay positive most days but it's hard. I really am sorry to anyone struggling right now xx

Phallus (!) I'm so sorry about your friend, when we loose friends to extreme circumstances it can make life feel very scary and very surreal. Have a look online for 'low income counselling' or 'low cost counselling' in your area. We have a service that accepts donations and no need to prove income. Do you have any friends/fam you can chat with that could maybe have the kids for an overnighter? I know how hard it can be to get a little time for a good wail and sometimes that's just what we need. I'd also recommend having a look at youtube vids or podcasts with Gabor Mate. He is the leading expert in CPTSD/PTSD and has a wonderful honest way about him. Please try and find time for self care, even if it's just a big bubbly bath with the kids stuck in front of the tv with treats for a wee while. It's a shocking thing to loose a friend in the way you have, please don't forget to take care of you even on a tiny level each day. Holler/tag me if you need a chat

 

[CrazyGiraffeLady]

Thank you for the advice on here, I’m gutting my house today and tomorrow and tackling my problems on Thursday. I always feel like I can’t think with a messy house.

 

[Squittel]

Hi all, I was missing you all. The other thread finished so quickly and with the turn of events at the end I wanted to come by and say hello as the story started to get rather close to home on a personal level for me. As some will know already, my Mum died by suicide some years ago. I also have a friend who went missing and was murdered and one of my besties died young #fuckcancer just before crimbo too.

My mother died by suicide too, it’s hardly a “ditto!!” moment, but it’s always strangely comforting to know I’m not the only one. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, yet conversely I’m glad I’m not alone (and neither are you.)