I’m really sorry to use this thread for this as people really do have it so much worse - I KNOW that’s not how it works but I do feel guilty having read what I have. You’re all marvellous and brave people.
I felt I wanted to talk about this since reading about Nicola and all the threads about her but didn’t want to put it in her thread. It’s not even a huge thing really.
I was adopted as a baby and over the last couple of years I’ve been on a journey of reuniting with birth family and gaining access to my adoption records. It has been difficult and emotional but led to some very positive relationships with my grandmother, an aunt and an uncle.
I found out that my birth mother passed away in 2006 after being desperate to reunite with me (difficult for me to find peace with this). She loved me immensely but had struggles including struggles with alcohol. It’s why I find it hard to see a woman painted as “just” an alcoholic or “just” anything. The media, and some people, have such a blinkered view.
some of the harsh realities I have learned include the fact that she would leave me as a baby to go and drink and would be gone for days at a time. When she was sober and feeling well she couldn’t bear to be parted from me. So it was not straightforward but obviously the ultimate decision was made to keep me safe which I understand, and I was taken from her against her wishes.
I feel so much love and sadness and compassion for her especially because I think it’s such a complex illness.
someone said in a previous post there’s no such thing as a perfect mother, we are all just imperfect humans with struggles doing the best we can at the time.
There actually is no point to this at all, I have just felt this bubbling inside me for a few days and needed this space to let it out. Nobody needs to reply but I thank you for listening to me
xx
