Food & Drink

[Alansbigplate]

I always did, but two definitely took me by surprise. One was gorgeous, standard height and good build.. thumb sized penis. I was very dissappointed. The other; WELL. He wasnt attractive, he was shorter than me but lord. Was he packing!

also - biscuits; shortbread or golden crunch. Also party rings, because why the fuck not.

One was like the size and shape of a can of Coke

 

[PoorPatrol]

One was like the size and shape of a can of Coke

I am actually hollering. I’ve had to remove myself from the, erm, marital chamber. The can of coke, oh my god I’m reminded of being in a restaurant/bar sort of place eating and drinking cocktails with people I’d ended up on a work course with. We got more and more rowdy, and one woman describes her partner’s dick as being like a lucozade bottle. Another was then saying her bloke’s was like a peparami. We were hysterically laughing, then one of them piped up that she’d just separated from the only man she’d ever been with, and his penis was perfect “like a fat sausage” and she was starting to freak out that when she was ready to move on, she’d get either lucozade or peparami dick. We were in hysterics. I then had to get on a train home for hours by myself, laughing intermittently and trying to make train friends whilst drunk.

It’s the little drop down thing @BananaSmith

 

[GrunkaLunka]

My youngest won’t eat baked beans, jam, ketchup or anything ‘saucy’ or touching on the plate. Doesn’t like fizzy drinks either some of this is obviously good (as my eldest goes mad for a fizzy drink) but come on ! Baked beans!

He obviously wants you to rinse them

 

[AmberSpyglass]

What is Jackie Monroe going to have to do to fire up her own Tattle thread seeing as we’ve migrated across the board because she’s so bloody dull

 

[MarthaFarkus]

I know I'll probably have to leave the thread but I HATE CAKE! I can just about tolerate chocolate cake but as a rule, I HATE CAKE.

Soz

 

[Alansbigplate]

Tall blokes usually had long skinny ones. Small fellas, ime, usually had big ones but shorter.

I’ve seen every shape and size, fat ones skinny ones some as big as your head. No correlation

 

[Suprise!]

Can I join in to say that after googling pics of Harold Bishop last night I came across this. Then I had a dream about him

 

[Raker]

Hi Fraus, got way far behind and a bit triggered and unsure of thread rules now so I have come here. Could someone give me a quick tldr as to what is broadly ok to post as I’m worried about doing it wrong, there aren’t any specific posting rules to be have to refer too. Hope all is ok as can be to all and love to the info I have caught that isn’t

This thread seem pretty chilled, only 2 rules
GIFs
Cuntery

actually it’s lovely to get away from the pervasive, anxiety inducing hate of the JM threads. Although all posters there have been fabulous, warm, thoughtful, articulate and fecking funny, and therefore I’m all out of lungs to hoot up, I do believe @heretoreaditall2019 is utterly correct with her demonic diagnosis.

JM is a soul sucking dementor.

anyway, biscuits - not keen. I will tolerate a shortbread finger or a mint Kit Kat (not really a biscuit).

I will however absolutely Henry a line of Fifteens, given half a chance...

Northern Irish Fifteens traybake, kid friendly - Elsa Eats

Fifteens are an easy no-bake traybake that kids can get involved with. These are eaten in Northern Ireland so I make these sometimes for St Patricks Day.

www.elsaeats.com

 

[PoorPatrol]

Thanks lovely! I’ll bookmark it now or I won’t find it

If you can tear yourself away from the mean streets of the JM thread! She’s actually broken me now, I think. I thought I was tough she’s literally worn me down to a point where I just can’t cope with her anymore, I’m utterly disgusted. I’ve only got biscuit and elf chat left in me. How did her various Mrs Js stick it out so long?

Oh, and, had my glasses off for a min. I misread the thread title as ‘food & dick’, which isn’t too far off really.

 

[bellinibobble]

I don’t know if this makes me a fat bastard but I was genuinely disappointed this thread wasn’t about actual food and drink.. I thought I’d found some like minded people ha.

 

[AmTellinYa]

Just wanted to post this here....

because I've actually had to do some work today from home, catching up basically because I've been sidelined for several weeks with my back and my MH taking a nose dive. This has resulted in me missing out on all the lovely chat here and now I have an extra thread to Grunka . I don't think I like this adulting crap.

I shall return later x

 

[help i need some help!]

Tea is a must, for dunkage, if the chosen biscuit allows. Two biscuits, three max.

I have not tried this - sounds revolting.

 

[Oohthedrama]

You're right about everything (apart from the pronunciation of scone) but nobody's perfect...

*reported for abuse and stupidity*

my grandad used to say
“when you’re eating it, it’s a sc-OWN when you’ve ate it it’s a
sc-GONE”

clearly I get my amazing humour from him.
He tried god love him

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Phew, that was a wild ride through the threads of Tattle, Downing Street indeed!

 

[Harrybosch]

Hey bitches! I'm going round a friend's house later and she's cooking for me and the rest of my family. I'll sit at her kitchen island and drink wine. Winner, winner, tofu dinner.

 

[Harrybosch]

thank you, yes things are much calmer now! Lots of work to do on myself & my confidence but im feeling stronger!

I'm sorry everyone, but I just don't get the KS ? Maybe I need to see him on video?
View attachment 177579
Christoph Waltz tho
[/QQ

for any Kate Beckinsale admirers, I follow her on Instagram. She is delightfully bonkers and has a cute cat. Also posts lots of yoga videos.
@LavaFlake - were you the one who posted on JM about how your relationship was against all odds for a while? Love that
Also @Harrybosch - forgot to say - you were also taking no shit the day Jack called. She even called you demanding, didn’t she
@Flumps Those cinnamon buns look amazing!!!! Love them.

My husband is 5 months younger than me - so at the moment, I am technically a year older than him in numbers which my kids like to tease me about


Oh yeah - that bit made me when he said he was proud of her.

Jackie calling me entitled and demanding is my proudest moment.

For the record, my husband is five years older than me. The biggest gap was when I was 22 an the guy I was with was 39. Shockingly, that didn't last. Possibly in part because he wasn't a rich banker, but someone who lived illegally on his own business premises (he was 'a creative') and you had to wander down the hall, flanked by offices, if you needed the loo. On occasion, you might bump into someone in a suit, slightly awkward post-shag. Happy to report though that his dick was neither curved nor slender.

Also, I'm here for the cinnamon bun chat. I LOVE a cinnamon bun. I love cinnamon on everything.

 

[Flumps]

As we are now hopefully settled, I'm getting an early night. Please not to be doing any more chaos while I'm asleep.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I’m cheating on Jack, but could barely make a coherent comment in real time anyway, I live for the gifs and talking shite!

favourite biscuit are pistachio ones from Fortnum and Mason (FANCY) they were so lovely, that when I eat a different biscuit I think of them

secret crush is Jason Isaacs as Lucius Malfoy, but not when he’s a different character. I know, I know, I’m sick. Also obvs Sir Keir Starmer QC (must always say the whole thing) despite certain people saying certain shit about him, like that he looks like Woody

favourite scent on myself I love anything fresh and floral, but on a man it has to be really ridiculously intense. If sir Keir Starmer QC came up to me in a Westminster Pret, wearing Fahrenheit I would DIE!

 

[Flumps]

Spoiler: Placenta info

Pethidine?
You and baby have separate blood systems but the placenta transfers nutrients, oxygen and removes waste between the two systems. Some things are small enough to pass through the placenta membrane Inc drugs so that's why pethidine would effect baby too. I'm a bit of a placenta geek, always fascinated by them (midwife not weirdo )

You're not an idiot, when I had my first before I was a mw I was shocked when the mw told me I had to birth my placenta. I thought it came out with the baby, a bit like a backpack

Like a backpack made me HOOT.

Also, I am loving your username.

ETA: I feel like I should stop using HOOT on non-Jack Monroe threads. It makes me sound slightly deranged.

 

[chocolate choux]

I didn’t think the JM threads were cliquey - I thought everyone on them was always welcoming to all, and involving. There are lots of in-jokes, but if someone asked they would be explained.

Was gutted that they changed the thread title - I felt mortified that I had done a chaos and taken Silver Lining’s honour away!

The thread has a lot of heart, a lot of comedy and a lot of smart people. Maybe people were pissed off to wake up and see pages of overnight chat and gifs they had to churn through

I do love the coven and think all the non-Jack talk was a wonderful antidote to the shitty Jack content but I can empathise with the other POV too, especially as the off topic talk grew from being the odd few posts to endless pages about random shit

Another website I used in the past was very strict with keeping things on topic, like no personal posts at all except brief information which was especially relevant e.g. “I live in her town and yes she still works in that shop”. None of the community of the coven but very efficient to read, especially if you were grunkaing!

This still feels a bit weird but trying to embrace the change