this is brilliant and a much needed laugh, thank you, this also looks amazing xView attachment 295185
Blinded my tears of rage over the new lockdown, I found myself craving soft soft cheese. I trekked 3km to Lidl, where I was accosted by a heartless checkout operator. "Would you like a bag?" she sneered, with a clear undertone of hatred for my hoodie-clad self. Even with my tattoos safely shrouded by layers of cheap cotton, I knew she was judging me.
But when I got home and transformed the lissome brie and supple cranberry sauce into a wistful toastie, I forgot my woes. Halfway through, I abandoned my bread, tossing it from my balcony to bring a spot of glee to the city's pigeons, many of whom have suffered losses this year too, thanks not to the pandemic but to the choking petrochemical fumes that permeate the city.
I then smeared the half-melted brie over my own naked torso and licked it from myself in an orgy of chaos. I slid into a dreamless siesta (see - yes - tar), snoring like a long-dead triceratops. When I woke, I was craving more. I scampered to the fridge to begin anew.
I regret nothing, but I've put my neck out and won't be able to post any postcards this week.
To make this recipe VEGAN, replace the cheese with your favourite vegan foodstuff. I recommend tofu, broccoli or biscoff spread.
To make this recipe KOSHER don't eat any meat with it.
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this is brilliant and a much needed laugh, thank you, this also looks amazing x
Yeah, the dark nights have been getting me down, I log off from work at 5pm and it is already dark. At least in April we could go for nice walks and get fresh air.Love to all of you. Bloody bastard Covid.
It’ll feel much worse for a lot of people now we’re in the colder darker weather
We had 7 weeks in which we weren't even allowed out for exercise. It really is miserable. Love to all of you...do what you need to do to get through this with your mental health intact.
Evening fraus. This is all a bit tit isn't it? I'm ashamed to say that I'm messaging from the gym, thought I should dash down there while I can with another lockdown imminent. I'm that prick.
Meet-up with my dad in Whitby was a total washout. We agreed to go for lunch at a pub a few miles away but had to sit at separate tables etc so I didn't really get to see him at all. I don't have a relationship with my mum so my dad is pretty much the totality of my family network. I hate that he's missed so much of his only grandchild's life - I calculated it as over a third - and it's only going to roll on.
Sorry to whinge. tit day. Been taking it out on the kettlebells cos I'm a bodybuilder yeah?
Meet-up with my dad in Whitby was a total washout. We agreed to go for lunch at a pub a few miles away but had to sit at separate tables etc so I didn't really get to see him at all. I don't have a relationship with my mum so my dad is pretty much the totality of my family network. I hate that he's missed so much of his only grandchild's life - I calculated it as over a third - and it's only going to roll on.
Sorry to whinge. tit day. Been taking it out on the kettlebells cos I'm a bodybuilder yeah?
Sorry to all of you who've had a tit day. There's not a lot of stuff to really be cheery about is there.
I stopped drinking at the beginning of the first lockdown. I'm not claiming to be the most alcohol soaked alcoholic that's ever graced the off-license and didn't get anywhere near the magic 200 units a week (etc etc), but I was using it as a crutch and drinking far too often. Tonight, just got back from the hospital, listened to the new lockdown stuff and it's the first time I've really had to fight the urge for the wine. Mind you, I've just said 'duck it' and ordered a delivery of pizza I can ill-afford, so maybe carbs will do as a substitute.
I stopped drinking at the beginning of the first lockdown. I'm not claiming to be the most alcohol soaked alcoholic that's ever graced the off-license and didn't get anywhere near the magic 200 units a week (etc etc), but I was using it as a crutch and drinking far too often. Tonight, just got back from the hospital, listened to the new lockdown stuff and it's the first time I've really had to fight the urge for the wine. Mind you, I've just said 'duck it' and ordered a delivery of pizza I can ill-afford, so maybe carbs will do as a substitute.
LOL, just one note though! Jack seems to think 'siesta' means 'spending time with SB' rather than naptime.
We've been locked down again since a few days before the UK fraus.
Which makes little difference to me as I hadn't really come out of the first one.
Mrs TUIT is back to people coughing full in her face while asking, 'Now, does that sound Covid-y to you?'
Stripping at the backdoor while I throw hand sanitiser at her shouting, 'The power of Christ compels you!'
This will never not be funny to me but she is well and truly over it.
Separate boxes for everything that is 'work-related'.
Seeing the damage the PPE is doing to her lovely face.
Her tears when she says, 'Remember So and So from the such and such? They're gone.'
But I made her some pate type shite from the peppered mackerel they sell in Lidl, blitzed with cream cheese, horseradish, dijon mustard and lemon juice.
And that's how we're rolling in Tipperary.
Which makes little difference to me as I hadn't really come out of the first one.
Mrs TUIT is back to people coughing full in her face while asking, 'Now, does that sound Covid-y to you?'
Stripping at the backdoor while I throw hand sanitiser at her shouting, 'The power of Christ compels you!'
This will never not be funny to me but she is well and truly over it.
Separate boxes for everything that is 'work-related'.
Seeing the damage the PPE is doing to her lovely face.
Her tears when she says, 'Remember So and So from the such and such? They're gone.'
But I made her some pate type shite from the peppered mackerel they sell in Lidl, blitzed with cream cheese, horseradish, dijon mustard and lemon juice.
And that's how we're rolling in Tipperary.
Had a little weep, in a cupboard so no one could see me wobble.
What a clusterfuck. Love to all of you, especially those in isolated circumstances or difficult circumstances
What a clusterfuck. Love to all of you, especially those in isolated circumstances or difficult circumstances
I got about halfway and stopped with the audiobook, keep meaning to get back into it but reckon ill have forgotten the plot now
Oh my, your poor Mrs. There's something about seeing the PPE damage to the faces of all healthcare workers that really brings the insanity of this all home, I can't imagine what it's like to see that on your wife's face. Sorry, somehow that feels like it sounds insensitive, I'm sorry if it does. I don't mean it to be. It's like the struggle writ large on the people who are really bearing the burden. Love to you both. xx
Evening fraus, rough news this morning (i do think we should have had the circuit breaker end of september but hindsight is a wonderful thing i guess) what's done is done
It is gonna be a rough one, lets hang together 
and i wouldnt judge anyone now for carefully arranging to meet a loved one or two just one last time before thursday (but obviously make it somewhere with a till or you'll get a swat team through your door).
I've got some dumbbells in so im sure you're all eagerly awaiting my transformation into an omnivore bodybuilder who can deadlift sideboards
The dark nights will make it tougher but we'll get through this one day at a time, love to you all
It is gonna be a rough one, lets hang together
and i wouldnt judge anyone now for carefully arranging to meet a loved one or two just one last time before thursday (but obviously make it somewhere with a till or you'll get a swat team through your door).I've got some dumbbells in so im sure you're all eagerly awaiting my transformation into an omnivore bodybuilder who can deadlift sideboards
The dark nights will make it tougher but we'll get through this one day at a time, love to you all
I got the whole way through the audiobook, and while it was fine to listen to while I pottered about, I've pretty much forgotten the whole thing now, I was going to DM you a synopsis @Pocahontas, but couldn't remember it well enough, which probs doesn't say much for its quality.I got about halfway and stopped with the audiobook, keep meaning to get back into it but reckon ill have forgotten the plot now
we've had a fancy tea chez KCC ce soir. scallops, butter, mozzarella and basil and Morrison's best garlic ciabatta
Thank you. I really appreciate that.
Face cream/moisturiser has been added to the list of things to 'never ask the price of for the purposes of a happy marriage' along with;
Shoes
Handbags
Bed Linen
Haircuts/Colouring
ETA.. She doesn't ask me the price of cookbooks or why there are 999 books on the kindle yoke.
Sending the canal love and strength
Hopefully our gondolas will steer us all to calmer waters very very soon
in the meantime I am binging Bruce Springsteen and hoping the USA does the right thing
Hopefully our gondolas will steer us all to calmer waters very very soon
in the meantime I am binging Bruce Springsteen and hoping the USA does the right thing
Lots of love to those of you affected by this - I agree the lack of daylight is going to make this
much tougher. I’m lucky that life here will be pretty much the same. I worry for my daughter (11) walking to and from school in the dark, with deserted streets now; but she’s generally with a couple of friends.
I’ve been craving craving craving a pho, and have booked our local Vietnamese place for Wednesday night. Feels like a last hoorah, and I don’t want my last prelickdown meal out to be like last time - a Boring jacket potato at a garden centre.
Anyway, hope you‘re all ok this Halloween! We went to about ten supermarkets and there were NO pumpkins to be found.
much tougher. I’m lucky that life here will be pretty much the same. I worry for my daughter (11) walking to and from school in the dark, with deserted streets now; but she’s generally with a couple of friends.
I’ve been craving craving craving a pho, and have booked our local Vietnamese place for Wednesday night. Feels like a last hoorah, and I don’t want my last prelickdown meal out to be like last time - a Boring jacket potato at a garden centre.
Anyway, hope you‘re all ok this Halloween! We went to about ten supermarkets and there were NO pumpkins to be found.
As awful as we all find it at times.. Get your daughter and her chums to play loud music on their phones as they walk.
Not obnoxiously loud, just 'noticeably' loud.
People notice that. Even if it's just to tut or look out of a window.
The people who could possibly be up to no good with young people walking home, don't want noticeable.
And pumpkins? Did anyone else not get a Swede as a kid?
You genuinely had to be Michelangelo or Barbara Hepworth to get anything out of them!
Hammers and chisels were needed!
If you can carve a turnip you can tackle anything in life!
But possibly not anything requiring ALL your fingers!
Flumps as far as I know you are still allowed to provide care so if your partner needs some help I'm sure it's okay if you see him .Hope he is feeling better .Sending you a big hug
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