Food and Drink #53

[lilykestrel]

Liberating and healthy! Just before I retired my employer pivoted to being very interested in wellbeing and mindfulness and sent out lots of surveys about how best this could be promoted in the workplace and I really enjoyed responding with "pay me what I'm worth"

Oh I nearly kicked OFF the other day because at an all staff briefing with senior senior management about restructure and recruitment freezes etc, when asked how staff should be expected to cope when their workload has increased, the head of HR directed colleagues to the Employee Assistance Programme as there's lots of resources about managing stress

 

[Wooh]

Funny coincidence of topic. Tonight at Watermelon Retreat we served 40, with a vegan risotto made piquant by my preserved lemons and really looked after some intense weekend guests. In addition there was a new retreat host/yoga teacher/meditation facilitator - thrown in with probably inadequate training and certainly no info as to the rainy Friday night things that can occur.


So as I was leaving, with my KH colleague, I was confronted by two guests with room issues. The word "sewage" may have been mentioned.

Usually I'd throw myself in to fix and smooth, to remedy and make good something completely out of my jurisdiction and for which I'd receive no thanks. So tonight, all rugged up in scarf and jacket, well ready after seven hours to head home, I simply smiled sympathetically and professionally, guided guests to new host and said SEE YOU LATER.

I liked it. Should've done it years ago, really.

 

[jordishaw]

Oh I nearly kicked OFF the other day because at an all staff briefing with senior senior management about restructure and recruitment freezes etc, when asked how staff should be expected to cope when their workload has increased, the head of HR directed colleagues to the Employee Assistance Programme as there's lots of resources about managing stress

I'm almost wondering if your employer is my old one, because the answer to everything was the Employee Assistance Programme!

 

[MurielSnark]

Oh I nearly kicked OFF the other day because at an all staff briefing with senior senior management about restructure and recruitment freezes etc, when asked how staff should be expected to cope when their workload has increased, the head of HR directed colleagues to the Employee Assistance Programme as there's lots of resources about managing stress

I've worked in a few incredibly toxic workplaces, one of which had an employee counselling programme. It did not go down well when I asked once in a team meeting why the organisation was willing to spend money on counselling but not on fixing the dysfunction.

 

[Lazarus]

Civil Service??
I’m well familiar with the old ‘contact EAP’ line.

still on work: last month or the end of the month before I mentioned on here I applied for a promotion within the Civil Service department I work in. It isn’t in the same work area as I’m in now.
I lead on recruiting in my area so feel like I’m fairly familiar with the processes.
Anyway, I chased for an update on my application as none was forthcoming and last week was told I meet the criteria for an interview but they had a large number of applicants and so were proper limiting the amount of interviews they were doing. They ended the email by saying they’d interview me if none of the candidates were suitable.
I was less than impressed by this as civil service is a disability confident employer and as I have a disability that is covered in the Disability Act, and selected Guaranteed Interview on that basis.
I wrote back to them over a week ago and never even received an acknowledgment and so on Monday of this week took it to HR and mentally wrote it off.

at the same time I applied for this ^^ I applied for a similar role in an adjacent Department. Anyway, this morning I got an update from the adjacent department offering me an interview. I’m pleased about this and in some way it feels more of an achievement than if I’d got one in my current organisation.
What happens an hour later? I get offered an interview for the one in my department too. They’re basically only interviewing me because they dropped a bollock in terms of Disability Act. I’m sure they’ll have their preferred candidate already.
So now I’m just going to have to do both.
I’m apprehensive about the one in my department because the interview panel will know I’ve gone to HR to complain and so they may have a pre-conceived idea that I’m a trouble maker. I’ll use it as good practice for the other interview which is the following week.

I’m hoping to get the ‘adjacent department’ job. Not only because the salary is better but because I think it’ll be more of a challenge.

 

[chizontiz]

Yes, too much grass and he’ll have laminitis *nods sagely*
been reading about horses. Never even ridden one!

this is going to sound like a guest made up story but it really did happen (unfortunately for me). The only time I’ve been horse riding was on a ranch in bible belt States which was v cool except I didn’t really want to be doing it, which the horse could totally pick up on because the bastard kept taking me right into the trees so they could scratch their bum against the bark. We ended up miles behind everybody else because this horse was determined to dismount me via every tree we passed.

Worst bit though was when we did eventually finish and I tried to climb down but my bra and top got caught on the saddle, meaning I had to desperately cling to the side of the horse so that I didn’t flash everyone around me. Eventually someone noticed and helped and made no mention of the fact that everybody there - horses and children alike - definitely saw my boobs.

I was 18/19 at the time and staying with a v religious family who I didn’t know well and omg I was absolutely mortified. There were not many social situations young chiz was equipped to deal with back then, and hanging off a fuming horse by my actual bra certainly was not one of them. Big respect to Lady Godiva. Ruined a perfectly good bra as well!

 

[jordishaw]

I have allowed myself to be influenced this week and tried new things in food and drink:
Fried lemons from Claire Thomson

Lemon pasta from Anna Jones (separate meal!)

Pasta a limone – Recipes – Anna Jones

The voice of modern vegetarian cooking

annajones.co.uk

And Northern Monk Holy Hop Water. Would unreservedly recommend all of them, they taste like summer even though it is still raining outside.

 

[Lazarus]

i'll start this comment by saying i have not got one single solitary duck to give about Taylor Swift or her 3hr concerts, but fair enough i know there's adults who like her.
Anyway, i just overheard a conversation in the office and it absolutely warmed my heart.
A colleague telling another colleague that she's had TS tickets for tonight's show for about a year for her two daughters and has never told them. She's leaving work now to go and collect them from school as they think they've got a docs appointment but really she's taking them home to get ready (she's bought them TS outfits) then they're going for a fancy dinner and going to the show.

I am SO excited for these wee girls. it honestly put a tear in my eye.

 

[lilykestrel]

Whichever 'strategy bod' came up with the 'let's foist responsibility for organisational dysfunction onto the employee and mask it as wellbeing and mental health' was a genius to be fair.

I do think some of it can be useful, especially given how generally emotionally maladapted a lot of (British) people can be, but all the staff wellbeing sessions I found most beneficial pre-COVID were in-person ones, and that was generally because during group work you'd just have a whinge about work with someone you didn't know previously from another department, and it was the peer support aspect that was actually beneficial.

I steer well clear now, and if anybody dares try to get me to one in the coming months, I'll tell them my highly-qualified therapist has advised me against participating in work-based mental health support because she thinks its just an arm of unhealthy work cultures that seek to extract more labour out of their workers, SO THERE.

 

[Lazarus]

Whichever 'strategy bod' came up with the 'let's foist responsibility for organisational dysfunction onto the employee and mask it as wellbeing and mental health' was a genius to be fair.

I do think some of it can be useful, especially given how generally emotionally maladapted a lot of (British) people can be, but all the staff wellbeing sessions I found most beneficial pre-COVID were in-person ones, and that was generally because during group work you'd just have a whinge about work with someone you didn't know previously from another department, and it was the peer support aspect that was actually beneficial.

I steer well clear now, and if anybody dares try to get me to one in the coming months, I'll tell them my highly-qualified therapist has advised me against participating in work-based mental health support because she thinks its just an arm of unhealthy work cultures that seek to extract more labour out of their workers, SO THERE.

i used EAP a few years ago following a personal trauma. I got 6 f2f sessions and tbqhwy, they changed my life. i understand the point you're making and i partly agree with you, but at the time i couldn't afford counselling privately and the NHS offering was a group therapy session which i wasn't mentally well enough to attend.

 

[lilykestrel]

i used EAP a few years ago following a personal trauma. I got 6 f2f sessions and tbqhwy, they changed my life. i understand the point you're making and i partly agree with you, but at the time i couldn't afford counselling privately and the NHS offering was a group therapy session which i wasn't mentally well enough to attend.

oh of course I should phrased myself better - I don't mean accessing independent counselling paid for by work is a no, I do think that's a great development. I meant more the trend for "help I'm really stressed out because of this *gestures* situation" "have you tried these courses on managing your time more effectively?"

 

[Wooh]

i'll start this comment by saying i have not got one single solitary duck to give about Taylor Swift or her 3hr concerts, but fair enough i know there's adults who like her.
Anyway, i just overheard a conversation in the office and it absolutely warmed my heart.
A colleague telling another colleague that she's had TS tickets for tonight's show for about a year for her two daughters and has never told them. She's leaving work now to go and collect them from school as they think they've got a docs appointment but really she's taking them home to get ready (she's bought them TS outfits) then they're going for a fancy dinner and going to the show.

I am SO excited for these wee girls. it honestly put a tear in my eye.

Absolutely loved reading this and thinking of those girls who will always remember this moment!!!
---

oh of course I should phrased myself better - I don't mean accessing independent counselling paid for by work is a no, I do think that's a great development. I meant more the trend for "help I'm really stressed out because of this *gestures* situation" "have you tried these courses on managing your time more effectively?"

I hear both of you x

 

[griftalo]

this is going to sound like a guest made up story but it really did happen (unfortunately for me). The only time I’ve been horse riding was on a ranch in bible belt States which was v cool except I didn’t really want to be doing it, which the horse could totally pick up on because the bastard kept taking me right into the trees so they could scratch their bum against the bark. We ended up miles behind everybody else because this horse was determined to dismount me via every tree we passed.

Worst bit though was when we did eventually finish and I tried to climb down but my bra and top got caught on the saddle, meaning I had to desperately cling to the side of the horse so that I didn’t flash everyone around me. Eventually someone noticed and helped and made no mention of the fact that everybody there - horses and children alike - definitely saw my boobs.

I was 18/19 at the time and staying with a v religious family who I didn’t know well and omg I was absolutely mortified. There were not many social situations young chiz was equipped to deal with back then, and hanging off a fuming horse by my actual bra certainly was not one of them. Big respect to Lady Godiva. Ruined a perfectly good bra as well!

Oh god! I think that horse was related to one I rode in France. I was Ten years old, fairly big pony, on a campsite where they just gave you a horse and off you went. My horse kept trying to climb a tree. Front legs going up the trunk, me clinging on and eventually crying until someone came and took the reins so I could get down.

Well bleeping pissed off now. YH was meant to come to the dentist with me but started an argument, so I just went alone, only I got a migraine and had to walk back barely able to see.
I’d run round like a headless chicken all day, took kids to school, got bread and bacon at the shops so YH could have a sandwich when he got back, sorted laundry kid left wet in machine, cooked bacon, prepped most of the tagine bar carrots and potatoes, left him a list of what to do with it all, including what step to do while another happening. As I needed to finally dye my hair before the dentist I didn’t have enough time to cook it as well.
Only I didn’t specify to put the carrots in. So he left them on the side. Then blamed it on me not specifying to put them in after peeling and chopping. He’s eaten this meal before. I just can’t cope with this incompetence. I’m not a recipe writer for a living, I was rushing and missed out carrots in the list of what to put in the pot. I don’t feel like I should have to make a bloody list in the first place. But as I did, it’s my fault. I was in and he could’ve asked me what the carrots were for. This kind of thing just makes no sense to me. List went:
Wash and chop coriander.
Fry onions - I’d left chopped ready (peel and chop carrots)
Fry chicken and add paste (peel and chop potatoes)
Add potatoes water, salt, coriander,apricots, courgette
Pressure cook 15 minutes

carrot was meant to be with courgette etc but surely most people would realise I just missed it by accident? He knew I was absolutely terrified about the dentist today, then wasn’t even ready when I had to leave and argued with me, and I left on my own.
Thank duck dentist was super nice. Bad news re my teeth but she’s lovely

the twatgine. Pot got opened in time to put carrots in. Corn fed free range chicken. Tastes great for my first go from scratch.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

@griftalo are you familiar with the concept of weaponised incompetence? Could that be at play here, even subconsciously?

 

[Lazarus]

Only I didn’t specify to put the carrots in. So he left them on the side. Then blamed it on me not specifying to put them in after peeling and chopping. He’s eaten this meal before. I just can’t cope with this incompetence. I’m not a recipe writer for a living, I was rushing and missed out carrots in the list of what to put in the pot. I don’t feel like I should have to make a bloody list in the first place. But as I did, it’s my fault. I was in and he could’ve asked me what the carrots were for. This kind of thing just makes no sense to me. List went:
Wash and chop coriander.
Fry onions - I’d left chopped ready (peel and chop carrots)
Fry chicken and add paste (peel and chop potatoes)
Add potatoes water, salt, coriander,apricots, courgette
Pressure cook 15 minutes

Mr Laz would 100% do this. It's not (in my/his case) weaponised incompetence, it's lazy thinking around tasks that don't interest him, such as cooking or washing.
if i say to Mr Laz something like: it's a nice day and you're wfh, could you stick a washing in the machine, maybe the stuff in the dark pile? he will do exactly that. he'll stick it in the machine. won't turn the machine on or hang it out, he'll just do what i asked. i've stopped saying thing like 'could you do me a favour and hang the washing on the line?' because i think by presenting it as a favour to me, it portrays that as my task.

same with cooking, if i done the same as grifty, the same thing would happen.

On the other hand, he is very proactive at tasks i don't think of, but i really value them when they're done. he doesn't like any mess at all, and so once the house is squared up he'll quite often go out with a litter picker and a few bags and pick up litter from the streets surrounding our house.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Just popping in to say the world's tallest dog is called Kevin and he's 3' 2". Good boy, Kevin.

'Gentle giant' named Kevin is now the world's tallest dog

The Great Dane is 'terrified' of his family's vacuum

www.countryliving.com

 

[griftalo]

@griftalo are you familiar with the concept of weaponised incompetence? Could that be at play here, even subconsciously?

I am and possibly, but he’s generally crap at taking initiative re problems. My whole MO is what am I gonna do about that? Where his is more observe something needs fixing and forget it. Bulb has blown for example. It would wait until I change it. I’ve done a lot of trying to bridge the gaps the last few years and it has worked a lot, but I’ve really had to challenge him on his attitude to stuff. He’s external locus and I am internal.

 

[BubbleDuck]

My 16 yr old is similar, but in his case it’s because of his autism - if given instructions he will follow it to the letter and take it all literally . So like Mr Laz, if I say can you put a load in the machine, that’s what he will do . But if I say can you do a load of washing then he will complete the entire task , including drying and folding . Well I say he does it, he makes vague grunting noises about being busy/life being unfair/complaining about my nagging until I suggest that the WiFi router might end up taking a nice long bath

I’m currently waiting for an appointment and trying to work out how I can persuade Mr D that we should get a takeaway tonight, after I spent a good portion of this morning telling him how we really need to start saving money

 

[mchops]

* looks at current topic
Turns 360° and walks away
/Old troll jk

 

[kachoochoo]

yo, given my windfall and I just recently got a much better SIM only+broadband deal, I've decided I need a new phone bought outright and would welcome recs

always an android girlie, never iPhone, up until this phone (Xiaomi, it's great but a bit slow and the camera isn't great) i always had samsung galaxy s series, but the newer ones are still far too expensive to buy outright

pixel also seems a bit too, much, so idk... halp!

upper budget is probs £200