100% agree with what mrs poshwanker says
100% agree with what mrs poshwanker saysI'm so sorryWhat a piece of shit. But you have plenty of time to live your best life with someone who actually values you and doesn't string you along. I got together with Mr Beacon at 39 after a nightmare time with my ex husband who nearly destroyed me and my 40s have been AMAZING, best decade of my life so far tbh. But only because I finally put me first, figured out what's important to me and pursued the life I wanted to live. You are lovable and you will be loved x
I’m so sorry. Same on the still loves me but not in love with me. It makes my heart hurt more.I’m a long-time lurker on here and the MT and I always really love reading all your chat but am usually too far behind to contribute. I felt compelled to reply to @EllaEm87 though as I’m going through something similar.
It’s a different set of circumstances in that the warning signs were there. My partner had been telling me for months - via long, long texts - that there were things he was unhappy about and how it was affecting him but we have very different communication styles and I buried my head in the sand and hoped that everything would magically be okay somehow.
He eventually ended things about a month ago and it’s been the worst time of my life. I feel bereft and then feel guilty for even thinking that it’s similar, especially as a woman I work with recently lost her husband to cancer. My confidence is at rock bottom and I’ve been tearful and achingly sad for much of the time. I’m also a little bit angry that he’s given up on me and on us. He says he still loves me and always will and in many ways, that makes it harder.
Sorry for totally me-railing but your post just really resonated. Like you, I have a small circle of friends and I’ve let those friendships slide in the last few years (I have a daughter from my failed marriage and the only time I don’t have her has been spent with my partner). I know I won’t always feel like this and things will get better but that doesn’t make the here and now any less shit. Sending love.
What a horrid situation. My first marriage broke up when I was around 40, my confidence in everything was at an all-time low. Ex husband told me he left because I was boring, dull and unattractive. A couple of years later I met Mr F who is the loveliest person and now I see the whole previous relationship with clarity. You're not unloveable, you've been deceived and treated badly! You are worthy of the best in life. XHello Frauen, sorry to be the bringer of sad vibes but …
mr em dumped me on Sunday completely out of the blue. Said he doesn’t love me anymore. I’ve been totally pathetic since, can’t work, get out of bed, stop crying. I know it will pass in time but right now it’s SO HARD and my self worth is rock bottom. I feel like I’m just fundamentally unlovable (an ex once told me that) and I just cannot get it together. I saw no warning signs, nothing. Please tell me dating at 35+ isn’t going to be a complete nightmare. I thought mr em was my futureI feel like my whole world has imploded on me
I've got the day off work and have been cooking chili in the slow cooker, so I would say yes, that's pretty epic@Wooh you would have carried a tunnocks at all times and been safe.
https://giphy.com/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY
Ninnies, when I saw the snow this morning I thought priorities and stuck some massive spuds in the oven, so have just had an 11:15 lunch of cheesy bean jacket. I hope your Friday is as epic.
Same, I hadn't watched it since uni days but started again during the pandemic and now I watch it whenever I am at home jn the eveningsOmg in the pandemic (or possibly even before? What is time anymore) we got into watching Hollyoaks loool it really draws you in with just how insanely dramatic it is? Like I know eastenders and Corrie have had their murderers but none of them were meeting in coffee shops in the middle of the day to have a blazing row about their crimes, or conducting so many affairs. I think it was a cyber crime storyline that got us hooked it was so ridiculous lol.
It being just before ch4 news was the gateway drug as we’d end up catching the last 5 and thinking wtaf is going on here and before you know it you’re catching the whole episodecouldn’t have it on now LO is in a repeating everything she hears era imagine what an ott villain she’d become
Both of you deserve better. Mate of mine had this recently and my other half commented that it's like he realised mid thirties he will never play for England/Glastonbury (delete as appropriate) and panics at a normal life. I do sometimes think men wander round in a cloud of delusion.I’m so sorry. Same on the still loves me but not in love with me. It makes my heart hurt more.
I'm doing one-pan chicken with apricot harissa and sweet potatoes from Nigella's "Cook, Eat, Repeat".what are everyone's dinner plans for this eve?
One of these cook in a bag chickens from Lidl, green beans, chips, and if CBA, gravy.I'm doing one-pan chicken with apricot harissa and sweet potatoes from Nigella's "Cook, Eat, Repeat".
Agree with all of this. Also wanted to add I read an interesting article a while ago by a psychologist I cannot remember who. But basically saying that we always speak about grief in terms of death, but actually a major relationship breakup (romantic or friendship) is exactly the same (and ad I have said in some cases worse) you basically just need to give yourself time to realise/accept that you won't feel okay and that that is normal. Difficult of course, but normalI'm just catching up and wanted to send solidarity to EllaEm because they are big sad feelings, especially when they are somewhat out of the blue and they do take a while to stop hurting - look at how much we can all instantly relate to the horribleness of it all.
I have ten years on you and although I'm Harolded up after I bounced back eventually from my 2 x Enormous Heartbreak I do get a few quite enticing offers now and again so don't write dating off for good. Dick is abundant and never far away. Also your 40s when they get here are great for the switching off the fuck-giving switch.
Everything else you can get from good friends - I'm conscious of my single friends more these days and try to be company or help with practical stuff or make them feel less isolated with a text here and there as well as planned stuff and of course because I love having them in my life and I have a great time with them. Every retired woman I know says work doesn't really matter, acquaintances don't really matter, family stuff can be hard, men run off or you outlive them, so friends matter, and you don't need many to get by, you just need one or two really good ones. I found Fridays quite hard to deal with in my single heartbroken days in a city I had only moved to because of my ex, who took all our mutuals with him when he LEFT, because there was such an expanse of time before Monday morning when I could go into the office and talk to (and probably at) people instead of cats again. But I got past that, I found a hobby I enjoyed and a group that came with it and now 80% of my good friends come from that time of picking myself back up and it was all alright again, and you'll be alright again too.
In honour of pie week I'm having a pie for dinner and I was going to do Aunt Bessie's dire potatoes and some frozen peas and sweetcorn and gravy, but fuck that I'm just having a pie and a big glass of wine because it is easy and I had a late lunch, so not that hungry but still. Pie is pie.
Oh my, no! I was that nerd with only two friends and no sense of style. I've never been in a physical fight in my life, I tend to say something smart arse then run away.I love that @MaineCoonMama explained the time zones succinctly and I did a Nerd Report.
I bet MCM would have flushed my head in a toilet in high school. And I would have said, "Yes, I understand why you did that", while readjusting my non compulsory school beret and glasses
Isn't it so funny how we all have ideas about each other that are sometimes totally wrong?Oh my, no! I was that nerd with only two friends and no sense of style. I've never been in a physical fight in my life, I tend to say something smart arse then run away.
I'm still nerdy now, just heavily tattooed. Classic Cancerian, I'm soft like a squishy thing under my exoskeleton.
I always get 'you're so well spoken' or 'wow, you're quiet!' Like I'm going to kick doors down and start hitting people and yelling.Isn't it so funny how we all have ideas about each other that are sometimes totally wrong?
Off topic totally (but this is the thread for jt I guess) I remember watching fight club at about 14 and really wanting to get in a fight (never have and realistically now I don't think j want to) has anyone been in one?
Only fights for me are cats struggling to get food/dreamies out of my hands (losing battleI always get 'you're so well spoken' or 'wow, you're quiet!' Like I'm going to kick doors down and start hitting people and yelling.
I used to try to fight my brothers but they'd just put their hand on my forehead to keep me away while I flailed uselessly. Lmao.
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