Food and Drink #36

[KebabGirl]

Do we need a big group hug?!?
I've been most antisocial since Xmas Day. Yesterday, barely got out of bed. Today? Was awake early so cycled on empty roads. Relaxed with the cat, now just popped out for a beer so I spoke to real people. An attempt to de-feral myself as tomorrow is the family gathering. I face a total of 6 trains (will try not to buy a goats leg for the return legs) and seeing people in real life. Lots of them, all in one room.

Spoiler: Cat

When I have this on my bed, ready to snuggle it's hard to get up. She says hi, please fetch treats

 

[Emmapism]

Feels like it doesn't it? I did feel a bit sad saying goodbye to my Dad today. I think every year he gets older I find it that little bit harder to end the hugs early or to get on the train. He waits until it pulls away with his little flat cap on

That said, being back in my own flat is so so good. I had a leftover turkey sandwich with stuffing and pigs in blankets for dinner and watched some silly YouTube.

Big collective squeeze to everyone who has navigated a tricky Christmas

Thinking of you Kach and my favourite shithouse onion, Traumy S

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Group hug to everyone navigating tough times at the moment.

Christmas and new year definitely amplify all the feelings, and there are so many expectations as well.

 

[kachoochoo]

thanks lads mr kcc is now home until saturday and he really does perk up after a couple of hours being home

but just let me staple the vicar that i kinda regret buying him one of those retro gameboy dupe type things that have been all over groupon and amazon this year. 400 games installed! retro gaming experience! and all the plinky plonky electronic music that our parents told us to turn down cos it drove them mad!

 

[Nurseali]

Evening. Hope I am okay to park my bum here.
I always forget about this thread

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Tagging @Brian Butterfield so you’ve not got to dig about for this thread x sending love too

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Seconding that. So much love to you @Brian Butterfield We’re here for you if you need us x

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Spoiler: Narc stuff

Sister’s ex made it just over 24 hours before she reverted to type, which is a new low.

it’s just so hard because it feels like the entire world can see it except my sister, and watching her have her heart repeatedly shattered is the worst feeling. I’ve tried tough love (aka being a bit of a head) but it just seemed to play into all the things Ex has said to try to isolate her so I’m settling for not exactly supportive but more quietly disparaging. Sister was so confident and happy before this woman came along, and it’s like she’s just chipped away at her slowly until it spiralled into insanity basically. I know there’s nothing realistically that I can do either because she’s an adult, I just have to trust eventually she’ll see it and be ready to help when she does but my big sister side just wants to fix everything, you know?

 

[Hollaaa]

@Brian Butterfield because I see your name a lot we actually watched a small selection of Big Brian B clips on YouTube on Christmas Day and my high school aged child was HORRIFIED, which was the right reaction. I laughed like a drain. Hope we see you over here if you like the look of the place.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Spoiler: Narc stuff

Sister’s ex made it just over 24 hours before she reverted to type, which is a new low.

it’s just so hard because it feels like the entire world can see it except my sister, and watching her have her heart repeatedly shattered is the worst feeling. I’ve tried tough love (aka being a bit of a head) but it just seemed to play into all the things Ex has said to try to isolate her so I’m settling for not exactly supportive but more quietly disparaging. Sister was so confident and happy before this woman came along, and it’s like she’s just chipped away at her slowly until it spiralled into insanity basically. I know there’s nothing realistically that I can do either because she’s an adult, I just have to trust eventually she’ll see it and be ready to help when she does but my big sister side just wants to fix everything, you know?

Spoiler: Response

Ugh I‘m so sorry that she’s going through that, and that you are too. A similar situation happened to a friend of mine, it was beyond frustrating. The sweetest girl, in a “relationship” with an absolute narc head. I was one of many friends trying to spell out how nasty and dangerous he was, but without isolating her. She did eventually leave.

I can’t imagine how much harder it must be to be the big sister in that situation.

 

[ContentCrunch]

Honeys I’ve text all the friends I’ve lost last year and pre pandemic, wishing what’s left of a merry Christmas and a happy new year and tbh ive only had positive responses. I’m going to see someone I was birth partner for in 2015 tomorrow as a result, please do reach out it’s ever too late. I lost contact all through my own tit. 2023 is for reconnecting it’s scary but we’ve swapped WhatsApp’s and voice notes all night and it’s like no time had passed. Please, if there is someone in your mind reach out there’s not enough joy these days xxx

 

[Sideboard Bob]

thanks lads mr kcc is now home until saturday and he really does perk up after a couple of hours being home

but just let me staple the vicar that i kinda regret buying him one of those retro gameboy dupe type things that have been all over groupon and amazon this year. 400 games installed! retro gaming experience! and all the plinky plonky electronic music that our parents told us to turn down cos it drove them mad!

I know this isn’t your point (and, sorry for changing the tone like the One Show), but omg your references are !

“just let me staple the vicar” AND a Spice Girls deep-cut reference on the MT, love it!

I honestly love the first Spice Girls album, and @Valiofthedolls your love and recreation of Geri and Mel C’s outfits is so impressive to my 90s pop loving self.

TL: DR girl power!

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Spoiler: Response

Ugh I‘m so sorry that she’s going through that, and that you are too. A similar situation happened to a friend of mine, it was beyond frustrating. The sweetest girl, in a “relationship” with an absolute narc head. I was one of many friends trying to spell out how nasty and dangerous he was, but without isolating her. She did eventually leave.

I can’t imagine how much harder it must be to be the big sister in that situation.

Spoiler: Response

Sorry you’ve been through it too

I’m quite maternal towards her because our parents weren’t the best so there’s that in my feelings mix too, though obviously it’s not about me really. This woman has hit her too so there’s this worry at the back of my mind that it could turn physical again… not that the emotional stuff isn’t bad enough.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Spoiler: Response

Sorry you’ve been through it too

I’m quite maternal towards her because our parents weren’t the best so there’s that in my feelings mix too, though obviously it’s not about me really. This woman has hit her too so there’s this worry at the back of my mind that it could turn physical again… not that the emotional stuff isn’t bad enough.

Spoiler: Response

Thank you. I am forever grateful that my friend got away from that prick.

Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. It makes it 100 times harder when the person is physically abusive. I wish I could offer some advice, but I can’t.

I know you say it’s not about you, but we can support you while you support her. You need to be able to get it off your chest. We understand that she is the focus. But no wonder you feel maternal towards her. It must be so frustrating and exasperating. But at the same time, you know it’s not her fault.

I know it’s hard, but it sounds like you’re keeping a “door open” for her. Which makes such a difference. When someone is involved with a narc, they really can’t see what’s truly going on (as I’m sure you understand). Sometimes the aftermath is almost as hard, because the victim of the narc is just looking around at all the wreckage, wondering what the hell just happened.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I handed over my recently widowed mum to my sister on Christmas Day after she stayed here for a week leading up to Christmas. I love my mum but normally it’s just me and my autistic teen and having someone else here who is determined to be helpful was nice but a bit trying, especially when I had a massive work deadline. Feeling irritated at people who are being really nice and kind is the worst feeling.

Anyway, I’m not normally here - I’ve just mooched over to remind myself how great and normal you all after the chaos today which has given me stabby rage.

 

[kachoochoo]

I know this isn’t your point (and, sorry for changing the tone like the One Show), but omg your references are !

“just let me staple the vicar” AND a Spice Girls deep-cut reference on the MT, love it!

I honestly love the first Spice Girls album, and @Valiofthedolls your love and recreation of Geri and Mel C’s outfits is so impressive to my 90s pop loving self.

TL: DR girl power!

i you, sidey b, but spiceworld was the better album, if only for the existence of viva forever

 

[Sideboard Bob]

i you, sidey b, but spiceworld was the better album, if only for the existence of viva forever

This is such a controversial take KCC, but I love it! I mean, I agree with you about Viva Forever, it’s so beautiful, (and it’s tied in with “get well soon Geri!” which adds extra poignancy)... but omg, “If U Can’t Dance”, “Love Thing”, “Something Kinda Funny".

“Spice” was really up my street because I loved the early-mid 90s r&b influences. But, Spiceword was epic in it’s own right, like you said, Viva Forever, but also, Saturday Night Divas, and Too Much are gorgeous songs.

Sorry, I’m rambling, but I never get a chance to chat about this stuff irl!

 

[kachoochoo]

This is such a controversial take KCC, but I love it! I mean, I agree with you about Viva Forever, it’s so beautiful, (and it’s tied in with “get well soon Geri!” which adds extra poignancy)... but omg, “If U Can’t Dance”, “Love Thing”, “Something Kinda Funny".

“Spice” was really up my street because I loved the early-mid 90s r&b influences. But, Spiceword was epic in it’s own right, like you said, Viva Forever, but also, Saturday Night Divas, and Too Much are gorgeous songs.

Sorry, I’m rambling, but I never get a chance to chat about this stuff irl!

i love your passion, but 'stop', 'never give up on the good times', 'denying' and 'move over' even before we get to the likes of 'viva forever' and indeed, 'spice up your life' make spiceworld the superior album to spice

 

[Sideboard Bob]

i love your passion, but 'stop', 'never give up on the good times', 'denying' and 'move over' even before we get to the likes of 'viva forever' and indeed, 'spice up your life' make spiceworld the superior album to spice

And yours! Damn good points well made! Both such great albums, it’s why they inspire such defence!
As long as we can agree that all of “Forever” should be forgotten about apart from Holla.

 

[kachoochoo]

And yours! Damn good points well made! Both such great albums, it’s why they inspire such defence!
As long as we can agree that all of “Forever” should be forgotten about apart from Holla.

im not even sure about that tbh. the video makes me feel queasy