Food and Drink #20

[Into_the_tunnel]

@Into_the_tunnel how did the hospital appointment go? Hope now you have that out of the way you can tackle the other issues that you mentioned.

Spoiler: Reply

I think in regard of the cluster headaches if you can explain that sometimes you just want to talk about what is happening to you it will be a help as you know that its something you have to come to terms with and learn to live with; its your reality. For the other issue its worth looking at other resources to find a way to get through the festive season with a promise to yourself to address it in the new year? Also the MT might not be helping as there is lots of that kind of chat on there.

We are all home working at the moment and my house is freezing. I am so unproductive because I am cold. I was on the sofa with a blanket yesterday but it all feels so unprofessional so I am unproductive as a result.

@EddieBeds I am the same, I feel a quiet rage inside me as I am frightened again and the uncertainty is horrible. Working from home makes me really lonely at times. Doesn't help that I have to work with some of the people who were at the alleged effing party.

To keep it on topic I love the M&S Christmas sandwiches.

Thank you so much for thinking of me.

Working from home was rubbish in so many ways. Mrs T really struggled with the teaching aspect but also knowing what some of the kids were going through. I really hope we don’t go back there for everyone’s sake.

Spoiler: OT response and potentially TW wrt periods and ED

Yesterday went well. The consultant didn’t try too hard with the examination so in the end it didn’t happen. At the moment I can alter my pill but if I need the coil then I can have a GA. All in hand I think .

I had a big talk with Mrs T about the clusters and the food. She feels really guilty she cannot help with the former and that is the problem I think. In terms of the food, it will be slow. I told her bluntly that I count everything I eat in my head and that is ruling my life. In terms of the MT, sometimes I am on it (and follow JM) because it is triggering if that makes sense. I know that sounds messed up and it is but that is all part of the issue that needs to be solved.

Thsnk you for getting to the end of that!

I love the sandwiches too. Some of them are ££££. The vegan plant kitchen one last year was . My parents came to visit and I bought them the Colin cupcakes. My mother is all over them.

 

[Falkor]

@Falkor so sorry to here what's happened to your neighbour Joyce beautiful girl Vicky . She seems such a lovely caring lady .

They're absolutely heartbroken. (For anyone wondering, Vicky was a 10-month-old collie pup who tragically had to be put to sleep last week after being diagnosed with an aggressive lymphoma). Joyce has a heart as a big as the sky, she's an amazing person.

Oh no I just googled- was this the trainee sheepdog who the Ewerthmics got left with after eating all the extra sheep food even though they weren’t pregnant and they got too fat?

No, that was Alta, who belongs to another neighbour

 

[Nottonightbabe]

No trick or treaters here out in the sticks . Had a nice evening with the little ones though, duvets and pillows in the front room to watch Nightmare before Christmas with lots of sweets.

 

[EddieBeds]

What’s everyone having for tea? I’m having to go softly softly with food as I’ve had a brief tummy bug - hopefully on the other side of it now but while I munch beige food will live through your food choices (just please no slop - thank god JM is busy dying clothes, small mercies).

Spoiler: Covid

Sorry for the incoming ramble.

BabyBeds nursery have emailed - they’ve had more Covid cases, across all rooms now, waiting for more PCR results, want LFTs done and any hint of being unwell not to attend. BabyBeds has had a virus since end of last week - pretty certain it’s just run of mill but Mr Beds and I have had a big argument about it. I don’t feel (based on their email) I can send BabyBeds in in good faith as he’s been under the weather and would predict even if I did send him I’d likely get a call to get him (and then he couldn’t re-attend until he has a negative PCR). I also can’t bear the thought of doing a LFT on him - he’s had to have a few PCRs when in hospital over the last year and I find it really traumatic so the thought of doing an LFT is upsetting me. I’ll probably do one just to rule out Covid for my own conscience but not keen to send him back into the lions den.

Mr Beds is grumbling as he’s already had to juggle work this week as I’ve had a sickness bug so couldn’t look after BabyBeds yesterday. And today he’s had to help at times as I’m physically fatigued from said sickness bug (thankfully just a 24hr thing it seems). We’d have to juggle work for a couple of days this week as a result of BabyBeds not going in and that’s his gripe alongside the fact there is no formal advice from Government telling us to do as the Nursery are stating. TBH at this point Government aren’t going to do anything are they? I just feel fucked either way and already feeling a bit anxious since Boris’ National address the other night - to be fair he could have said he was resigning and I’d have still felt anxious as those announcements just fill me with dread/make me relive the dread from last year.

Little Beds school play was cancelled too - well parents attending and I was gutted over that, although I agree with the reasons for it. I was stupidly excited to see it.

Sorry I also appreciate in the grand scheme of things this is a first world problem and a privilege that I will have to juggle wfh and a 1yr old when others don’t have that option.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’m getting my booster today, there’s a reasonable chance it will make me more ill, thoughts and prayers please. I’ll be stopping in to the shop to buy a large supply of bakery goods to see me through this difficult time.

 

[Hollaaa]

More burn chat: I've just put my hand on a log burner in a holiday let, with no first aid kit. Cling film is doing the job nicely (thank you, internet) with 2 manky old Tylenol from the bottom of my suitcase taking the edge off it.
The most unpleasant part is realising how bloody stupid I must be to have done it in the first place.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’m planning on some m&s treats as well, going to have an expedition to the shops shortly.
I love how Susan has become no emotional support animal for people in the UK even though she lives down under!

 

[Universal]

The universe did a one-up on me being a moaner, a lovely man delivered it to my door and I caught him in time to give him a tip. He said he knows he’s the only one round here who comes inside and to the door.

As the Universe I apologise dear heart

 

[emm]

It's very different from the way I thought mine would be, to be fair! I grew up in the middle of Bristol, then moved to Reading, Cambridge and south London. I only started living here 13 years ago, when I was in my early 30s. Steep learning curve

as someone currently living in south London I think "learning curve" sounds very much like it would be an understatement!
So as not to derail totally, what is everyone eating on xmas day? I am going to my parents and we are having beef wellington, the only benefit of the mess of the last two years seems to be that my sister has accepted that life is too short to suffer through turkey at xmas for the sake of tradition

 

[kachoochoo]

Spoiler: Response

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I don’t know what to say, it’s just so sad.
You’ve had too much for anyone to deal with at the moment. I really hope you are able to relax a bit, you need it. I know it’s easier said than done though.
Please rant away, you shouldn’t go through all that on your own

thank you. I know I slagged xmas off earlier, but the way it falls this year and having had my annual leave approved for 29th-31st means I get a good break. just need to get these last few days out of the way and then I can chill

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Spoiler: tw death

just need to vent a minute, sorry lads. so the shitty news i mentioned on the MT was that a colleague of mine died very suddenly yesterday

she was only a year or 2 older than me, not yet 40. she was lovely, so good with people, her and her husband were looking into adoption. it's so fucking shit

other thing is, this is the 3rd year in a row someone in my department has died around this time of year. feels like we're cursed

and on top of mr kcc's dad's death and all the other stuff going on in the wider world, not to mention money, stuff needing to be fixed in the car and at home, it's all a bit too much and it's fucking xmas!

yesterday, i basically spent the day on the sofa unable to relax because of my anxiety and I'm just exhausted now

sorry for ranting at you, but thank you all for being here
/SPOILER]

Spoiler: response to TW

I am so sorry. Is there any way you can take some time tomorrow if your anxiety is still bad? You don’t want to be pushing yourself into anything if that ball in your chest is going to become unbearable.

It sounds like you have a lot to deal with at the moment, on the top of a rubbish year. Sometimes we can cope with lots of things life throws at us, until a final event hits (either big or small ) and our coping systems just say “no”. If you are that tired and anxious, take it slow. Please vent here. Always a listening box. I don’t want to be patronising, but I was in a state last week and people telling me truths helped.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I think I mentioned a few months ago there's a vegan place near me that does a peanut butter and strawberry jam cheeseburger. Well, I finally reached peak 'fuck it' and got one, with ginger beer-battered onion rings and fries. It was (as you might expect) quite weird. I think the cheese is what was throwing me off.

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Spoiler: depressing self-involved wallowing

I was celebrating my birthday today, except that was the extent of my celebrating. My mum had good intentions and took me out quite a way to a non-specific coastal town to go to a café for lunch. Unfortunately it was so busy that I got overwhelmed and had to leave before we had even ordered which I feel very bad about. A total of four people remembered it was my birthday: my parents, my sister and my grandma. This is the first year I haven't got a card from my other grandma, being as she is now quite DEAD. For some reason, even though I was demonstrably far more alone during the first lockdown when I didn't see anyone for months, I am feeling more alone than ever. I am also in a bad mood because I have injured my shoulder and am prohibited from bench pressing the Queen and instead can only press 3.5 large or 5 smol corgis max. Sorry for Misery Hour with TS, I'm going to get back to work on Festive Slopbot's new look.

Spoiler: Response

Oh lovely TS, you know how much we adore you here. I want to wish you a happy birthday but that feels wrong after how your day‘s been. I’m so sorry it’s been a hard day for you. You shouldn’t feel bad about leaving a place when you feel overwhelmed, I do it all the time, its not really something you can help.
And ugh, it’s so rough when the “firsts” come around without someone you love. If you’re a huggy person I’m sending hugs, and if not, just tell me to fuck off! xx

Here is a “card” from me, it reminds me of your cat!

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Spoiler: Rude word alert!

My SIL sent me this mask and I love it.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Me update - saw an actual doctor yesterday, I now have bronchitis. No antibiotics though .
We are still supposed to be wearing masks in shops and trains in Wales. Lots of people don’t bother, there is no enforcement.

 

[EddieBeds]

Sorry for the mega merged post!!!

I trained as a counsellor 10 years ago now and would say the most important part of the training is the relationship you have with people - your tutors, fellow students, supervisors, clients when you are a trainee and with your own counsellor. Not sure how training works these days but I had lots of my own personal therapy as a mandatory part of the course and lots of practical work in the form of role plays in class and then when on placement. Not sure you would get the same experience doing online learning, just my opinion though.

Thank you for this - it’s really useful info. The online course I’ve found proposes that via zoom you’ll be doing group/practical work etc so not just death by power point BUT how does that work in practice? (Sorry not directed at you just voicing it out loud!). My gut feeling has been face to face would be better given the nature of the training. Personal therapy is still part of the course too.

I am so sorry. I have no advice my end regarding the work/nursery balance. I did have colleagues who were in similar situations when I worked in the independent sector.

I would echo what has been said regarding training now compared to a few years ago. Having worked in education, the face-face contact is important, particularly when things can be misconstrued over the internet.

Hope you find some resolution

Thank you

Sorry hadn’t caught up before I posted but working mummy solidarity - it’s tough for so many never ending reasons isn’t it.

100% the only way to ever get pay rises ime is to leave and start somewhere new. I’m not a rigger man ergo delusional but I’ve had jumps between 30-50% between roles, although admittedly early in my career (hence the 50% jump) and especially in my last role I was disgracefully underpaid for the level of responsibility I ended up having. I know not every market is as active so this may not be as relevant to every single industry or NICHE.

The work place is ridiculous really and defs a market inefficiency as I’ve gone into jobs earning more than someone who’s been there 6,7 years therefore significantly more effective than me with a larger set of responsibilities that they have accrued over time, a go to for key senior stakeholders, and yet companies rarely invest anything in employee rentention to keep these brilliant people on or engaged in their role yet will spend £££ on talent attraction departments and new starter salaries. It’s a chronic case of emperor’s new clothes.

ETA - is there anyone you can speak to about wanting to do more hours but you need these numbers to make it work?

Loool at ‘not a rigger man’ aka Max . But yes agree re pay rise only happening if you leave etc. Am nodding and agreeing re: staff who accrued responsibilities/hold valuable company IP not being invested in. We have really bad retention of staff for a lot of the reasons outlined and the fact a lot of teams work in silos so a lot of (probably perceived) inequality in seeing some teams move people up/fiddle budgets to keep hold of staff while others can’t do the same - without triangulating some teams have their budgets set internally while others generate external income so have more flex.

I can speak to my manager re: hours/financials not matching up and will as you guys have given me the confidence to know my self worth etc in these situations. I know it will come down to budgets etc but also long term they’ll lose productivity=profits at the same time (they’ve not mentioned replacing the person leaving) if that makes sense?

ETA: I meant I P as in intellectual property not I P addresses Tattle. Didn’t realise it auto generated a link if you put I P side by side .

Fraus - I wanted to share my good news! I hope this doesn't come across as boasting as I really don't mean it that way - not sure if anyone remembers, but I went through a really tough time about 2 years ago, my MH was at an all time low mostly due to my job and being bullied by my manager - had 3 months signed off for anxiety and depression, went back for 6 months then left and got the job I'm in now. I absolutely love it, and am in a great place right now - and the other day my manager called me into a meeting room and said they are so happy with me that they wanted to promote me, but because there are redundancies going on in the business HR (where I work) can't be seen to be making people redundant then promoting within, so they gave me the pay rise I would have got if I was promoted, and a £100 amazon voucher as a little bonus 'it will help you buy stuff like toilet brushes and oven gloves that you need but don't want to buy for your new house'. I just wanted to share it as it's made me feel so good about myself and so valued, after being at a job which drove me to telling mr C I didn't think I could go on living anymore. Soppy moment too - you guys have been a real lifeline and comfort to me during the bad times and the good, so I want to thank you all

This is brilliant news and not boasting. Celebrate your achievement - it’s fantastic!

Also gives me hope I will have a job I love in future (appreciate I've not experienced work place bullying - just in a meh stage with work) and feel more fulfilled on that front.

Wonder what you can find in a muddy puddle in exchange for the voucher - a sentient mirror?

 

[AlphaBetaDeux]

Happy cake day Tunnel! What goodies do you have from M&S?

Absolutely nothing worthy of mention has emanated from la cuisine d’AlphaBetaDeux because I’m just fecking exhausted and am taking the easy options when it comes to food - macaroni cheese, potato wedges with some form of protein, just beige stuff, which is tasty but not noteworthy (take note Jack!). Have to go for a gestational diabetes test and looks like I’ll be getting induced early which could be interesting given the predicted state of the hospitals after Christmas

 

[Falkor]

I am working on the comms for the actual spending review (softly, gently behind the scenes) and as yet not one person has asked for a smol non tax paying pixies opinion.

I also have access to the Twitter account of a govt department (live tweeting the announcements) ohhh imagine the fun I could have!

Ooh, that would be brilliant. '200% VAT on eggs.' 'Cotswold Co furniture import duty doubled.' 'New system of fines for late company accounts.'

How many do you think you could do before she twigged??

 

[Universal]

Thanks all. I have woken up in a better head space today. The thing is there has never been a need to talk about things as he always had something in diary with me, is attentive and generous and so it felt right without having to say that it did. We just got on with having a good time. I will concentrate on having a great Christmas with my little family and see what January brings. In truth I want a relationship and I cant see this working long term or without heartache as he lives so far away.

I do appreciate all of your replies. You don't have to be a relationship guru to give advice on the subject, everyone here is so nice and level headed that its great for me to have all of your perspectives to challenge what's really going on in my head. I was married for such a long time and never really dated much beforehand so I am like a middle aged teenager when it comes to men.

Have a good Sunday all. I am cooking a roast dinner then heading out to a National Trust place for a walk, no doubt with two moaning kids!

 

[MaineCoonMama]

@Into_the_tunnel I have promised myself one more episode if I do the ironing!

I am sure we will be ok over Christmas. I try not to worry, as I have other stuff to worry about! I am the baby of the family but the emotionally responsible one so a lot falls to me. I have become the default 'mum' of the family and so I have christmas here with all my siblings and their partners and then I have to pick up/drop off the aunties (who say they dont want to come, or dont want to be a burden so I spend ages persuading them as I know they want to come really!).

Whats everyone elses plans for the festive season?


I posted above before I seen your reply. That's good that you are in a better situation with the husband. Sorry to hear about the health issues. Is there a way you can get a place of your own in the state you live in in the new year? I promise you it gets easier - just hang in there. I had to take one day at a time when still lived with my ex. I would count it a victory to get through each 24 hour period. Once you live apart then you can start healing properly.

Thanks for your supportive words, they really mean so much! I'm hoping my health will improve with new physio and possible surgery, I really hate moving so I think it would be less stressful to stay where I am for now.
I really want to live with my step dad, he's been asking me to move in with him since my mum passed away. I'm originally from South Australia so moving there will be like going home, I have lots of friends in Adelaide and I've been wanting to get out of Victoria for a year or two.

 

[EllaEm87]

Happy birthday @Into_the_tunnel ! Hope you’ve had a lovely day

I second the love for Freddie M. A trail blazer and an all round legend. The film is indeed a tear jerker.

also on topic but, as usual, very late to the party- can also send recommendations for the cookware from Sainsbobs. I have a big old pot from there that is amazing for soups, stews, risottos and the like. Comparative to my Le Crueset. They are interchangeable in my household.