Food and Drink #20

[Captainmouse]

New thread time
cocktails are currently being served

Spoiler: food and drink for dummies

Some words we use on here and what they mean



Lots of us on here originate from the Jack Monroe threads, and because of this we use some in-joke words and phrases. Everyone is welcome, of course, so here is a post from Switch that might help:



I love that we've organically basically created our own phrases and words – it’s like the internet equivalent of a regional accent!



All are welcome here! Please do feel free to talk about food/drink/life in general! To avoid any confusion some common things/words you might see:



Fraus / frauen – the witty ladies and gentlemen of the Jack Monroe threads were once referred to as a ‘a cabal of sad little hausfraus’ or something like it and we all loved it and adopted it as a term of endearment (so you may see someone say ‘hey fraus!’ Or ‘how are the cabal today?’ Or sometimes bastardised to 'canal')





🔺️ – triangulation warning! (as in to make yourself potentially locatable/identifiable to a washed up food blogger with a 100% success rate in court and an obsession with tattlers)



Grunking/having a grunka/a grunka lunka – to catch up on lots of posts (named after the wonderful @GrunkaLunka )



'Now duck off xx' – you might see us put this at the end of our posts, but we're just joking around don't worry!



‘I’M BUSY/something about a piss and a sandwich’ again mocking Jack Monroe who on #31 of her threads joined Tattle and tried to turn it into her bloody diary with a bunch of long self pitying posts, but had the nerve to ask if she ‘could go now’ for a piss and a sandwich to which the cabal were like ... ‘Yes please. Go. We have been telling you to leave for hours.’



ALSO:

1. MT or Mother Thread means the Jack Monroe thread.
2. We might mention Vladimir Putin / ‘Vlad’ and be paid with bitcoin.
3. Please feel welcome to join in - the thread is about food and drink, but also everything and anything else.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Made them innit @Mustard I've become really lazy with making bread so I'm forcing myself to do it more. Hovis Premium burger rolls are acceptable if you want to buy something similar. I'd already dispatched tonight's hot dog but there'll be another one, I get these sausages (or the bratwurst, which are even better) from a local vegan shop so I've got still got one in the fridge.

I took my extra rolls to the post office to send to the cabal but they told me I'm not allowed to send any more packages? They probably got me confused with Ruby Rose who I often see at the post office sending lots of Lion bars and Space Raiders to Australia.

@emm it's a version of a recipe I found online that I have heavily adapted. I will put it behind a spoiler for length. Hopefully it makes sense.

Spoiler: top secret pretzel bun recipe

Ingredients:
280g strong white flour
280g plain white flour
7g instant yeast
8g salt
10g neutral oil
240ml milk (I've used soy, cashew and oat before, all fine)
15g maple syrup

~1/4 cup bicarb

1. Gently warm the milk and maple syrup until it reaches ideal yeast thriving temp
2. Mix both flours, yeast and salt then add the oil and the milk mixture. At this point you will definitely need to add water but I've no idea how much, I do it by feel. It's probably 100-150ml. It will be quite a soft dough but you don't want it sticky
3. Knead for ten minutes then cover and leave to prove for at least an hour until doubled in size
4. Divide dough into eight equal pieces, roll each into a ball then shape into 7in long rolls. Cover and leave for about fifteen minutes.
5. Bring a large pan of water to the boil and add the bicarb. My largest pan only reasonably holds 1l without boiling over so I use 1/4 cup bicarb. If you have a bigger pan you can scale up. Also put the oven on to 220C
6. When the water is somewhere around intense simmer, carefully lower in a roll and leave for 30 seconds then flip (I use a fork) and leave another 30 seconds. Remove from the pan (I use two forks evenly spaced to stop it tearing anywhere from uneven weight distribution) and put on one of two lined baking trays. It is v important to line the trays or they will stick and it will be a mare. The silicone mats are ideal for this. Slash three times on the diagonal with a very sharp knife and sprinkle with sea salt flakes. Repeat until all rolls have been boiled
7. Bake for 12-13 minutes

 

[Mustard]

@traumatised sideboard I’m so envious of the pretzel rolls. Lidl used to do soft pretzels and I’d buy a kit and freeze them. I eat them warm with guess what? Mustard! Those vegan bratwurst and bockwurst look amazing. Are they sold in any high street health food stores like Holland and Barrett?

 

[Mustard]

@traumatised sideboard I’m so envious of the pretzel rolls. Lidl used to do soft pretzels and I’d buy a kit and freeze them. I eat them warm with guess what? Mustard! Those vegan bratwurst and bockwurst look amazing. Are they sold in any high street health food stores like Holland and Barrett?

A lot, not a kit!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

@Mustard I think Holland & Barrett stopped doing frozen and chilled stuff, or at least they have where I am anyway. I can't tell you exactly where I got them from for reasons but it was a shop that sells strictly vegan products so your best bet is online if you don't have one local.

Here is my pre-gym hot dog from earlier. The chunky stuff on top is onion, pineapple and pickled jalapeno relish. Please excuse the enormous chip in my plate, I am very clumsy.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

@Mustard I think Holland & Barrett stopped doing frozen and chilled stuff, or at least they have where I am anyway. I can't tell you exactly where I got them from for reasons but it was a shop that sells strictly vegan products so your best bet is online if you don't have one local.

Here is my pre-gym hot dog from earlier. The chunky stuff on top is onion, pineapple and pickled jalapeno relish. Please excuse the enormous chip in my plate, I am very clumsy.

View attachment 829750

Omg these look amazing, pls cater our post court events and/or prison time?

Haven’t been well and waiting for .45 to be able to do a covid test after not being able to taste dinner do any pro test takers have tips for getting it to the back of your throat pls?!

 

[Captainmouse]

Omg these look amazing, pls cater our post court events and/or prison time?

Haven’t been well and waiting for .45 to be able to do a covid test after not being able to taste dinner do any pro test takers have tips for getting it to the back of your throat pls?!

If it makes you gag you’ve got it right, it’s not nice

 

[Begborrowsteal]

If it makes you gag you’ve got it right, it’s not nice

I gag brushing my top wisdom teeth!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

If it makes you gag you’ve got it right, it’s not nice

Thank you! I had one before my section and I gagged, they only did one successful swab (in fairness this was quite soon after their release!) and the literature says FOUR?! Then TEN of a nostril?

apparently these aren’t even the good tests, might still order the other ones or is that naughty because I’ve not got a positive LF? Sorry I’m genuinely clueless we very, very rarely go out & wear those masks that protect you as well. I’m p sure it’s a nursery illness but need to check.

 

[Whaa?]

Govt advice is to order a pcr test if you have lost your sense of smell or taste. So no, not naughty.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

@Mustard I think Holland & Barrett stopped doing frozen and chilled stuff, or at least they have where I am anyway. I can't tell you exactly where I got them from for reasons but it was a shop that sells strictly vegan products so your best bet is online if you don't have one local.

Here is my pre-gym hot dog from earlier. The chunky stuff on top is onion, pineapple and pickled jalapeno relish. Please excuse the enormous chip in my plate, I am very clumsy.

View attachment 829750

Omg that looks amazing

Omg these look amazing, pls cater our post court events and/or prison time?

Haven’t been well and waiting for .45 to be able to do a covid test after not being able to taste dinner do any pro test takers have tips for getting it to the back of your throat pls?!

Oh no hopefully you’re negative and if you can do it in front of a mirror I found that helped and take deep breaths through your nose whilst swabbing that might help with the gagging.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Thank you - it came back negative but I’ve heard of people who’ve had textbook cases and their LFs have come back negative so ordered a PCR too, might go to a drive through tomorrow just to get it done. Sorry I know this isn’t the covid thread but a lot of ppl on this thread have had it and the weary body / exhaustion described is what’s worried me I have it tbh, more than the lack of taste which could just be the bunged up nose! Absolutely no coughing though?!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Lads I’ve got a really specific question about animation, feel free to scroll on by if it’s not your thing

I’ve been binging Inside Job on Netflix and I know Brett Hand is Mr Average in every way and has a face everyone thinks they know but I am convinced I have seen him in something else,

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Thank you - it came back negative but I’ve heard of people who’ve had textbook cases and their LFs have come back negative so ordered a PCR too, might go to a drive through tomorrow just to get it done. Sorry I know this isn’t the covid thread but a lot of ppl on this thread have had it and the weary body / exhaustion described is what’s worried me I have it tbh, more than the lack of taste which could just be the bunged up nose! Absolutely no coughing though?!

Some people have no symptoms at all, it wont always tick all the boxes. I hope you're on the mend soon x

 

[traumatised sideboard]

When I did my PCR test I went to a walk-through test centre so had one of the staff guiding me through it. He had to watch while I was alternately gagging and saying to myself in the mirror that it was fine and I just needed to stop being such a giant baby It was a couple of stabs up into my brain and then ten swabs on the throat. I didn't have a cough at all until about a week in, it's different in everyone. Hopefully it's not COVID but make sure to go for at least one yomp and reminisce here about all your childhood foods, just in case. Send Mr HTRIA for a kipper as well, I hear it's good for scent rehabilitation.

 

[NP]

Thank you - it came back negative but I’ve heard of people who’ve had textbook cases and their LFs have come back negative so ordered a PCR too, might go to a drive through tomorrow just to get it done. Sorry I know this isn’t the covid thread but a lot of ppl on this thread have had it and the weary body / exhaustion described is what’s worried me I have it tbh, more than the lack of taste which could just be the bunged up nose! Absolutely no coughing though?!

Sounds really similar to when Mr NP had it. He had a negative LF and PCR even though he felt like absolute tit and exhausted. Two days later still feeling tit he did a LF again which was positive then a PCR the same day confirmed it. I hope you don’t have it and it’s just a cold or something? the lack of taste doesn’t sound good though. That was the first symptom when I got Covid. Luckily my tastebuds came back after 5 days. Eating is so weird without any taste!

 

[EllaEm87]

Thank you - it came back negative but I’ve heard of people who’ve had textbook cases and their LFs have come back negative so ordered a PCR too, might go to a drive through tomorrow just to get it done. Sorry I know this isn’t the covid thread but a lot of ppl on this thread have had it and the weary body / exhaustion described is what’s worried me I have it tbh, more than the lack of taste which could just be the bunged up nose! Absolutely no coughing though?!

Definitely go for the PCR! The LFTs aren’t fabulous if you’re symptomatic. Many of my pals tested +ve with pcrs and had negative LFTs the whole was through! Hope you’re ok.

 

[Universal]

My PCR test came back negative but I was in bed for a week. I hardly remember any of the first 5 days. I am convinced I had it though as I had no sense of taste and zero energy.

I hope its just a cold for you and you feel better soon.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Thank you guys

Taking multiple LF tests is a good idea I’d never have thought of stupidly!! Will do another when baby’s napping, I remember there being walk ins at tube stations during the peak so will see if that’s still the case as would rather walk to do that than deal with a car seat hating screaming as I have to brush the remnants of my tonsils.

Have been able to smell a soiled nappy today & taste marmite and gherkin, and some chilli flakes I tried Monroe style dabbed straight on my tongue to test so maybe I’m safe? You’re right tho they say 1/3 is asymptomatic so god knows.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Just over this way to ask after @MaineCoonMama haven't seen you post in a while, hope Susan hasn’t taken over the house and broken the WiFi or summat.