Hope you're all well and managing today, just grabbed a quick snack between zoom calls.
I purchased it in honour of @Into_the_tunnel
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Under granola loneliness crunchy emptinessHope you're all well and managing today, just grabbed a quick snack between zoom calls.
I purchased it in honour of @Into_the_tunnel
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Under granola loneliness crunchy emptiness
@Mustard I thought I should take the food chat off the Jo Good thread as I know you like it over here. Your sandwich talk made me hungry and got @Pat the Dog curious! I just made a delicious sandwich, with Gail's San Fran sourdough, bresaola and pesto. I toasted it in my tunnel toaster and when done I added rocket and a big splash of olive oil. I think you've influenced both me and @Miss LDN to have a rotisserie chicken this weekend after you mentioned Waitrose's yummy ones.
Last night I watched a fantastic Italian chef on YouTube, he did linguine with scampi that was quite labour-intensive but was it was worth it (topped off with candied lemon zest!!). Another ep he did bistecca alla Fiorentina that made me starving even though I'd just finished dinner! I'm jealous of his pots and pans, his knives, in fact his entire outdoor kitchen with the drawers that are freezers from which he pulls an icy glass for his vino.
Last night I watched a fantastic Italian chef on YouTube, he did linguine with scampi that was quite labour-intensive but was it was worth it (topped off with candied lemon zest!!). Another ep he did bistecca alla Fiorentina that made me starving even though I'd just finished dinner! I'm jealous of his pots and pans, his knives, in fact his entire outdoor kitchen with the drawers that are freezers from which he pulls an icy glass for his vino.
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just popping in to say, for the benefit of bacon-eating fraus, I had bacon jerky today and it was one of the nicest things I've ever had in my mouth. 
salty-sweet tender-chewy perfection
and big hugs to anyone who needs them. I know I do. it's been a particularly horrible week in a horrible era
salty-sweet tender-chewy perfection and big hugs to anyone who needs them. I know I do. it's been a particularly horrible week in a horrible era
@VeeJayBee what is a tunnel toaster?
I need to know this too!
I’m trying to think of something positive to say, but hugs to you @kachoochoo and all who need to them from me too.
Here’s a classic from my “LOLs“ folder on YouTube if anyone could do with a laugh.
This week has been a lot, right? 
It's good for slices of sourdough and also can do sandwiches. It toasts a bit unevenly for some reason, as some reviews say, but it doesn't worry me. The rack thing comes right out and wipes clean easily.
I love watching professional chefs chop!
A bit of light relief from the MT. These amazing loukamedes daughter and I shared this morning (we'd had a few before I took the picture) They were so perfectly crisp on the outside, tender in the middle, with lots of runny honey and cinnamon drizzled over them.
My god
Are they vegan though?
They look scrummy!
So crappy week has turned into a crappy weekend... no water and water company have to wait for traffic lights as the flood is too big.
My headaches which I thought had eased (and partially made me give up work) are back with a vengeance but I have a neurologist appointment on Wednesday so half good.
and I had to go to the dr about another thing and have a procedure which couldn’t be done because it was too painful and now I feel like a failure and don’t know how they will find out and it is stressing me out.
and this was meant to be light relief.
Going to attempt a rewatch of Twin Peaks this afternoon on Now Tv.
With some chocolate buttons (giant).
that tunnel toaster is epic... what do you think the crumb situation would be though?
Never knew this existed!
Stacey Dooley on Saturday Kitchen looks worryingly thin to me. You can see her legs with what she is wearing which isn’t usual, and she’s admitted she is useless in the kitchen and has only four bowls. She frequently wears those glove type sleeved tops too. She’s also asked to have all her food boxed so she can take it home.
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What are they? Are they like doughnut balls? They look delicious in any case!!
ETA I just remembered google exists. They sound as good as they look!!
Evening fraus! I hope people aren't too fragile after the latest JM chaos - hopefully this will cheer you up a little. Whist browsing the dizzying array of snacks in the Russian supermarket earlier, I saw these; I knew there was only one thing I could possibly do - put myself through potentially gastric hell for strangers on the internet.
Behold!
And later, in a more refined state (the wine is there in case these actually do as they promise and brutalise my taste buds).
WHAT ARE THEY: JUST BRUTAL, apparently. Although despite making it sound like this bag is going to offer the most furious, ferocious spice you'll ever wish you hadn't tasted, the flame-o-meter is barely over half way. This begs the question - are there BRUTALER crisps out there? Are these crisps merely 'just brutal' whereas a flavour exists somewhere in the bowels of Russia called 'I will destroy your colon'? Does Vlad keep this bag deep in his safe and only brings it out when he wants to poison someone? These are questions I fear will never be answered.
Oh right yeah, the Russian bit says 'sweet Thai pepper taste' - so, uh, Thai sweet chilli? Crisps that aren't even a little bit spicy? What a bloody let down.
TASTING NOTES: They smell like salt and vinegar pringles. I gingerly put one into my mouth. The first thing I taste is...potato. Ok fine, they're crisps. Then a musky sweetness comes in, with an undertone of vinegar. What else am I getting? Is that...paprika?! Call me old fashioned but paprika should be nowhere near a Thai crisp. Still waiting for the heat to hit. I wait. I wait some more. Oh, did I feel something there, right at the end? Not sure - I've felt breezes spicier than these things. I check the ingredients list; my Russian is shonky but I know the word for chilli (чили, funnily enough). The ingredients list is concerningly long but - but - but...it's not there. There is no chilli in these brutal chilli crisps. Crestfallen, I drink some wine to feel something.
MOUTHFEEL: I'm still mad about the complete absence of chilli in my chilli crisps, but I eat another one to check how it feels in my mouth. It's basically a pringle, but with none of that pleasing shatter of flavour and strangely moist joy that mean you indeed cannot stop once you pop. I can stop with these things any time I like. They are strangely claggy against the tongue, and the coating of spices (hah) leaves behind an unpleasant furry sensation.
AESTHETIC: Well, they're black. As to why, there seems to be zero explanation. Perhaps this is the appeal. How many unsuspecting spicy crisp lovers have been reeled in by the promise of brutality and the uniqueness of a black crisp? Is the black meant to symbolise the spiralling distress you feel as you desperately hunt for any modicum of piquancy? There's an offhand picture of a cow skull on the back, perhaps as a nod to the wild west (in, uh, Thailand). I suspect they're black because Russia really rode that charcoal trend a few years back hard - when you order a burger in Russia, chances are it'll come on a charcoal bun. Don't ask me why - summat to do with Dostoevsky probably. As for the rest of it, well, the flavouring is scattered across the plane of the crisp with abandon, looking like somebody had a good old scratch and showered dandruff everywhere.
VERDICT: What a disappointment! These aren't even the slightest bit spicy (I should have guessed, Russians are total wusses in that department), and the flavour resembles no Thai food I've ever eaten. They're a sort of sad pringle that's been rubbed with a blend of tomato and paprika powder, doused in vinegar and injected with charcoal. Brutally awful. 1/10.
Behold!
And later, in a more refined state (the wine is there in case these actually do as they promise and brutalise my taste buds).
WHAT ARE THEY: JUST BRUTAL, apparently. Although despite making it sound like this bag is going to offer the most furious, ferocious spice you'll ever wish you hadn't tasted, the flame-o-meter is barely over half way. This begs the question - are there BRUTALER crisps out there? Are these crisps merely 'just brutal' whereas a flavour exists somewhere in the bowels of Russia called 'I will destroy your colon'? Does Vlad keep this bag deep in his safe and only brings it out when he wants to poison someone? These are questions I fear will never be answered.
Oh right yeah, the Russian bit says 'sweet Thai pepper taste' - so, uh, Thai sweet chilli? Crisps that aren't even a little bit spicy? What a bloody let down.
TASTING NOTES: They smell like salt and vinegar pringles. I gingerly put one into my mouth. The first thing I taste is...potato. Ok fine, they're crisps. Then a musky sweetness comes in, with an undertone of vinegar. What else am I getting? Is that...paprika?! Call me old fashioned but paprika should be nowhere near a Thai crisp. Still waiting for the heat to hit. I wait. I wait some more. Oh, did I feel something there, right at the end? Not sure - I've felt breezes spicier than these things. I check the ingredients list; my Russian is shonky but I know the word for chilli (чили, funnily enough). The ingredients list is concerningly long but - but - but...it's not there. There is no chilli in these brutal chilli crisps. Crestfallen, I drink some wine to feel something.
MOUTHFEEL: I'm still mad about the complete absence of chilli in my chilli crisps, but I eat another one to check how it feels in my mouth. It's basically a pringle, but with none of that pleasing shatter of flavour and strangely moist joy that mean you indeed cannot stop once you pop. I can stop with these things any time I like. They are strangely claggy against the tongue, and the coating of spices (hah) leaves behind an unpleasant furry sensation.
AESTHETIC: Well, they're black. As to why, there seems to be zero explanation. Perhaps this is the appeal. How many unsuspecting spicy crisp lovers have been reeled in by the promise of brutality and the uniqueness of a black crisp? Is the black meant to symbolise the spiralling distress you feel as you desperately hunt for any modicum of piquancy? There's an offhand picture of a cow skull on the back, perhaps as a nod to the wild west (in, uh, Thailand). I suspect they're black because Russia really rode that charcoal trend a few years back hard - when you order a burger in Russia, chances are it'll come on a charcoal bun. Don't ask me why - summat to do with Dostoevsky probably. As for the rest of it, well, the flavouring is scattered across the plane of the crisp with abandon, looking like somebody had a good old scratch and showered dandruff everywhere.
VERDICT: What a disappointment! These aren't even the slightest bit spicy (I should have guessed, Russians are total wusses in that department), and the flavour resembles no Thai food I've ever eaten. They're a sort of sad pringle that's been rubbed with a blend of tomato and paprika powder, doused in vinegar and injected with charcoal. Brutally awful. 1/10.
What a bloody letdown larder!
lovely stuff. I’ll tell you what is bruterler, those damn Max Jalapeño and cheese crisps. I love a hot snack but those aren’t enjoyable at all!
What a rollercoaster. Yay for the return of crisp review.
I am having a *brutal* day. One week before MrF has to be out of his house forever and it feels like there are never ending amounts of stuff to be shifted. I’m so so so so tired. Add to that the epic triggering skills of our old hero and my desire to curl into a ball and weep rather than do anything as a result and it’s all a bit fraught.
A <chef’s kiss> crisp review was the tonic I didn’t know I needed. Lovely to see you, crystal, and on *such* form. x
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