First Love

[Lauren1994]

I met my first love when I was around 15/16 we were together for roughly 3 years or just under. I was actually “seeing” one of his friends he came down to meet him and i was with him.. he lived about an hour away so every time I met him I made the most of our time together. We were kids when we met, he started doing drugs and stole his mums car to drive around with his friends which caused us to break up, I could tell i was in love because I didn’t care how I was treated I just wanted him and everything that came with him. I think our break up hit me hard, I then started doing drugs myself and drank nearly everyday, went to parties and done stupid things. If people knew about our break up I feel like I wouldn’t have been judged so badly for the wrong I did. I’m definitely not attracted to him now, not his looks or personality. If he ever messaged me I think my heart would always want me to respond back but I’ve moved on.. I’m now with my boyfriend of 6/7 years and we have a beautiful baby girl together. Thinking back at my first love it has made me realise I should be much more grateful for what and who I have now.

 

[Rockin' Robin]

I met my first love at school, he used to tease me, then someone pointed it out that he liked me. Nothing developed for a few years until we were about 13 or 14, we started seeing each other - it was all rather innocent, stolen kisses, you know what I mean.
One day we decided to go off on an adventure for the day. We didn't tell anyone, this was back in the 1970's - a different time to be a teenager. He took me back to my home, where my distraught parents were waiting. My Dad drove him home and read him the riot act. We drifted apart after that, I was sad and angry with my parents for a long time.
Looking back on it, we were two very different people, there would not have been any future in it. But it would have been nice to have been given the opportunity, to find out. I don't think my over protective parents helped my development that well, but that is another story.

 

[Bitofthebubbly]

I’m taking the term ‘first love’ to mean the first time you thought you were in love even if you weren’t, if that makes sense.

Mine is cringe because it was totally unrequited, it was my dads friends son, who lived the other end of the country and only visited his dad during school holidays. I was about 13 when i first developed feelings for him and it must have gone on for at least a year If not more, he was two years older. I’d known him for years due to our parents being friends and we got on well, just doing normal stuff like playing video games, playing outside, and our parents would take us on day trips occasionally. I guess he was the only lad who was actually nice to me at the time (most of the boys at school were just not that nice to me) and I ended up developing this huge, overwhelming, unrequited and embarrassing crush that was so intense that I was sure it was love at the time and that we were meant to be together. I’d never even fancied him or thought of him like that before. Hello hormones! It was crazy. I was literally obsessed and I could think of nothing or no one else, had a keychain of us on a ride at a theme park that I carried round and looked at a lot. I told my friends about him but was very quiet about it at home, I’d never ask my dad when we’d see his friend and X again because I was paranoid dad would guess I had a crush on him, and found the thought of that horrifying. Wrote about him a lot in my diary and as a result I’ll never allow anyone to read that tit ever. But I’d only ever see him a few times a year, it was never a guarantee that I would see him during the school holidays but every time I’d hope! This ‘relationship’ I was wanting to have just want sustainable but I didn’t care. One time I sent a Christmas card and put my mobile number in it pretending to be all casual about it, it was when mobiles were still pretty new and everyone ‘collected’ phone numbers like stamps so I figured I played it totally cool and he’d text me since we were friends. I waited and waited but he never did text me! As well as that, on the odd occasion we were in the town he lived in, id keep my eyes peeled Just in case I spotted him (never did). When I look back now, this crush/unrequited love went on for far longer than it needed to. I really doubt he thought of me anywhere near as much as I thought of him. It was all quite innocent though.

I can’t remember how I got over it, I think I just matured a little over time, and the feelings went away. Not seen that boy (well, man now) in years, not sure if he’d even remember me and I probably couldn’t pick him out of a crowd either tbf. Whether he was aware of my mad infatuation or not, I hope he’s still the nice person he was back then (this is where I google him and find out he’s a serial killer or something).

Im now in real love and have been for 11 years and I’m glad it’s not how I thought it was at 13 because it’s just not sustainable and sounds utterly exhausting to go through as an adult. Love is amazing but it’s not that

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Even though I was with my first love for over 10 years I have felt better and a stronger love towards other men since that made me question if I even loved him at all.

 

[Reverend]

Sorry, this is a long one.....................

She was a danish au pair and we got together when we were 18. We met in the same brass band, and we became a couple within 2 months. I really, really loved her, and we lost our virginity to each other. I went over to meet her friends and family in Denmark. We had a lovely 18 months or so together.

In the end, she got in with a bad crowd of other au pairs. They didn't like me (I was suspicious of them, particularly one of them who was german. She was supposedly a christian, but I have a nasty idea that that her constant changes of jobs and going back and forward to germany was a cover for drugs and other smuggling). This group took her to some of these clubs and pubs were they basically would set her up with other men (I was either working or teaching). This happened 4 times ( that I know of), and she chucked me for one of these guys. I begged and cried for her to take me back, but she wouldn't. She would bring him along to concerts that we doing together, and it hurt, hurt, so much. I would see them cuddling, and leaving together. In the end, I had to leave that band, I had no other choice.

Now the rest of the story, she has told me, so I have only one side of it..............................

Sadly, it didn't work out well for her. This guy dumped her after a couple of years (they did get engaged, but only lived together for 6 months, which is odd, and I think the novelty value of a Scandinavian girlfriend wore thin, particularly having to go to Denmark every year..... She then got together with a guy she met in the pub, whom was desperate to be a dad (he was 40, and she 28). They were together for 6 months, and he begged her for her to become pregnant and have her kid. She agreed (possibly body clock) and she became pregnant, but.....he then decided he actually didn't want to be a dad and met up with one of his ex's and told my ex that he was going back to her. She was so angry, she dumped all the stuff that his parents had bought for the baby on their drive (she was 6 months gone!).

She had to go back to Denmark and had the baby. She contacts the grandparents (she can't contact the father), and lets them know that she has had the baby, they reply 'We are not interested' and put the phone down on her. A year or so, later she met another guy, whom was happy to have a ready made family, and she became pregnant, but sadly same story again. Now she has 2 kids, no fathers about.

She meets another guy, and get engaged. They had 3 more kids (I know, I know!). He stays this time, but about 4 years ago, he starts drinking heavily and becoming violent. It ends up one night with him grabbing my ex and her eldest daughter by the throat (he's a big guy). She manages to get the kids out, and they are hiding in a cornfield away from him, but manage to get a friends house. He has made several threats since, and it's gone legal.....

Anyway, 18 months or so, I have a friend request from her. I'm a nosy sod (I've been in a relationship with a great lady for the last 12 years btw), and we start talking, and she tells me the above. She wants her eldest daughter to talk to me, because she wants her daughter to know just one decent man that she has met in her life. Just one. Just one that never lied, beat her up, cheated on her, deserted her........

I was stunned, but the girl is delightful. She regularly asks me for advice, and lets off steam about everyone (sisters, mum, school!!!). She (the daughter) asked me to go to her 'Coming of Age' ceremony that they have in Denmark when they are 14. I went (My gf hates travelling, and she knows I'm not a cheat, so was happy for me to go). My ex told me that she wishes that she hadn't done what she had done, and wished that she were still together, and that I had been the father of her kids. I gently told her that we all make our path, and that I don't believe in going back, but that I would always be her friend.....

Hey, after all. I ended up with someone amazing, so I'm a lucky person........

Sorry, if i bored you.

 

[calmyourritas]

I was 11 when we first met - fell in love at 15 and he chose another girl over me. I should have known then it was doomed but we got together at 18 and I wish we never had lasted 3 years til he cheated on me and if I never see his face again it would be too soon.

 

[TravellingPants]

I don’t remember not knowing him, our mums met at baby groups with our older siblings who are a few years older. It was classic angsty teen drama stuff... realising we had feelings for each other, not wanting it to get in the way of our friendship, a few fumbly teenage snogs, both of us going out with other people but always being drawn back to each other. We were actually only really together for about six weeks in our late teens but with all the years that led us there, I still consider him my first love. It didn’t end badly, we just realised that the timing was still off and was maybe never going to be right.

We have gone through patches of being incredibly close or drifting apart in the years since then. He has a tendency to go off the rails partying and he’s not the person I know when he does.

My mum has always said she will not be in the least surprised if we end up together later in life... I think he will always be my best friend but I’m not sure we are good together beyond that

 

[CarrieW24]

Sorry, this is a long one.....................

She was a danish au pair and we got together when we were 18. We met in the same brass band, and we became a couple within 2 months. I really, really loved her, and we lost our virginity to each other. I went over to meet her friends and family in Denmark. We had a lovely 18 months or so together.

In the end, she got in with a bad crowd of other au pairs. They didn't like me (I was suspicious of them, particularly one of them who was german. She was supposedly a christian, but I have a nasty idea that that her constant changes of jobs and going back and forward to germany was a cover for drugs and other smuggling). This group took her to some of these clubs and pubs were they basically would set her up with other men (I was either working or teaching). This happened 4 times ( that I know of), and she chucked me for one of these guys. I begged and cried for her to take me back, but she wouldn't. She would bring him along to concerts that we doing together, and it hurt, hurt, so much. I would see them cuddling, and leaving together. In the end, I had to leave that band, I had no other choice.

Now the rest of the story, she has told me, so I have only one side of it..............................

Sadly, it didn't work out well for her. This guy dumped her after a couple of years (they did get engaged, but only lived together for 6 months, which is odd, and I think the novelty value of a Scandinavian girlfriend wore thin, particularly having to go to Denmark every year..... She then got together with a guy she met in the pub, whom was desperate to be a dad (he was 40, and she 28). They were together for 6 months, and he begged her for her to become pregnant and have her kid. She agreed (possibly body clock) and she became pregnant, but.....he then decided he actually didn't want to be a dad and met up with one of his ex's and told my ex that he was going back to her. She was so angry, she dumped all the stuff that his parents had bought for the baby on their drive (she was 6 months gone!).

She had to go back to Denmark and had the baby. She contacts the grandparents (she can't contact the father), and lets them know that she has had the baby, they reply 'We are not interested' and put the phone down on her. A year or so, later she met another guy, whom was happy to have a ready made family, and she became pregnant, but sadly same story again. Now she has 2 kids, no fathers about.

She meets another guy, and get engaged. They had 3 more kids (I know, I know!). He stays this time, but about 4 years ago, he starts drinking heavily and becoming violent. It ends up one night with him grabbing my ex and her eldest daughter by the throat (he's a big guy). She manages to get the kids out, and they are hiding in a cornfield away from him, but manage to get a friends house. He has made several threats since, and it's gone legal.....

Anyway, 18 months or so, I have a friend request from her. I'm a nosy sod (I've been in a relationship with a great lady for the last 12 years btw), and we start talking, and she tells me the above. She wants her eldest daughter to talk to me, because she wants her daughter to know just one decent man that she has met in her life. Just one. Just one that never lied, beat her up, cheated on her, deserted her........

I was stunned, but the girl is delightful. She regularly asks me for advice, and lets off steam about everyone (sisters, mum, school!!!). She (the daughter) asked me to go to her 'Coming of Age' ceremony that they have in Denmark when they are 14. I went (My gf hates travelling, and she knows I'm not a cheat, so was happy for me to go). My ex told me that she wishes that she hadn't done what she had done, and wished that she were still together, and that I had been the father of her kids. I gently told her that we all make our path, and that I don't believe in going back, but that I would always be her friend.....

Hey, after all. I ended up with someone amazing, so I'm a lucky person........

Sorry, if i bored you.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet that you didn't end up with her. Very nice of you to still play a paternal figure for her kids though !

 

[Reverend]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet that you didn't end up with her. Very nice of you to still play a paternal figure for her kids though !

Thanks. It's a tricky one though. She was a wonderful person when I met her, and if she hadn't have got in with that bad crowd, who knows? These other au pairs disappeared from her life and didn't keep in contact with her, after a couple of years.

 

[Youre a wizard Harry]

I was 15, we met at school and were together for 4 years.
I was absolutely heartbroken when he ended it. We were part of the same friendship group so I couldn’t cut him out. Rather than ignore him, it was easier to stay friends. Although he didn’t hang out with us as much for the first few months as he got into a new relationship almost immediately. It helped I went to uni not long after we broke up so I only had to see him on group nights out every few months when I was at home.
It was hard because he ended it suddenly and said we would have a big chat about it a few weeks after it ended but that chat never happened so there were a lot of unanswered questions.
It took over a year, but I made my peace with it and my feelings changed from love to friendship. We are still friends 8 years later and you’d never know we used to be a couple

 

[ChloChlo]

By first love are we meaning first boyfriend?

I certainly wasn't in love, I just liked the attention of letting this lad who fancied me in school chase me. I liked the novelty of having a first boyfriend. I was 14, he was a year older. He was not attractive, he had terrible acne and bumfluff.

I certainly wasn't in love with my first husband either. We had practically nothing in common. He was purely for convenience, he looked like Rodney Trotter and he behaved like him too, an utter plonker. I was having an unpleasant time at home and ended up practically living with this man, he was a safe option when my ego was damaged. I ended up pregnant and as his mother was a strict catholic decided we should get married quickly. His parents paid for it, so I went along with it. We had 2 children together but I certainly was not in love.

My second husband swept me off my feet and I fell in love, he was 15 years older than me, had money, was a local villain and was fit and rugged, a drastic contrast to my first husband. Looking back I was very much in love but our relationship was toxic. He had started to get violent a few months into my pregnancy with his child (my 3rd) which was the start of a severe domestic violence relationship which spanned a further 4 years, I was stabbed, tortured in marshlands and by the end had severe PTSD resulting in me ending up weighing 6 stone from not eating or sleeping. When professionals were alerted I was relocated 250 miles away. I mourned him. I missed him and I went through all the stages of grief. I was guilty I left my abuser. It was a horrible feeling.

I dont think I have loved fully since. I've had terrible experiences of men since. My current partner I do love dearly but in a family way, we met through circumstances, 2 years ago I made the decision to get clean after a life changing event, we are both ex addicts and we have a 1 year old child together. We have a mutual understanding, we respect eachothers boundaries and try to make it work for the sake our child more than anything. The love there is different to what I have felt before, this feels more of a familiarity, it's like a good friendship with amazing sex.

 

[BlobbyBlobbyBlobby]

I met my first proper love when I was 17. I met him through being on tour with my old job. He played guitar and a lot of the girls fancied him so I was absolutely terrified to talk to him. But one night he came over to me and just started chatting about random tit. He gave me his number as we were all leaving tour that day and we spoke every single day for 3 weeks. Then we met up for our first date. That was 8 years ago now. We are now engaged. We have started a business together, brought houses to do up and sell on and now we have our own little house and we are planning our wedding which is hopefully going to be in September next year after that we hope for children, I am so thankful to have met him.

 

[ricecakes]

I met my first proper love when I was 17. I met him through being on tour with my old job. He played guitar and a lot of the girls fancied him so I was absolutely terrified to talk to him. But one night he came over to me and just started chatting about random tit. He gave me his number as we were all leaving tour that day and we spoke every single day for 3 weeks. Then we met up for our first date. That was 8 years ago now. We are now engaged. We have started a business together, brought houses to do up and sell on and now we have our own little house and we are planning our wedding which is hopefully going to be in September next year after that we hope for children, I am so thankful to have met him.

So cool that you have started a business together! It's something my partner and I would really like to do, what is it you do? We're struggling to agree on something

My husband now is the first person I've ever loved. We met playing playstation and it all just happened within a matter of months super quickly. Unconventional but we love it

 

[BlobbyBlobbyBlobby]

So cool that you have started a business together! It's something my partner and I would really like to do, what is it you do? We're struggling to agree on something

My husband now is the first person I've ever loved. We met playing playstation and it all just happened within a matter of months super quickly. Unconventional but we love it

We do up old cars and sell them on, we did it with houses for a few years and then moved on to buying cheap cars to do it up. I also buy old things that need abit of diy doing to them and do them up to sell on. We moved house recently so now I have my own room to do all my diy stuff.

what business are you and your partner thinking of doing?

playsation is super cute though

 

[ricecakes]

We do up old cars and sell them on, we did it with houses for a few years and then moved on to buying cheap cars to do it up. I also buy old things that need abit of diy doing to them and do them up to sell on. We moved house recently so now I have my own room to do all my diy stuff.

what business are you and your partner thinking of doing?

playsation is super cute though

Wow all of that by 25? Is your fiance a lot older than you?

 

[openbook1]

When I had my first boyfriend I was 16. We met through a friend. I was in Scotland and he was in England so we did long distance (a recipe for disaster at that age). Looking back, was I in love? No. Anyway, he was the opposite of me and it was exciting...he went to private school, did well in sports, from a wealthier background. We broke up for a bit when I was 17, then I moved away for uni and we got back together. He showed up on my doorstep asking me to get back with him, lol. That happened a second time and he asked me again and I said no. I adored his family. His mum was wonderful and she doted on me...even up until a couple of years ago she would keep in touch with me, I think for her I was the one that got away . I had a look on his SM recently and it seems he is currently with someone but he never seems to stay in a relationship long. As I got older, I actually wondered if he was gay. I wouldn't be with him now (am very happy with my husband) but I could see us being friends if we met at this age.

Now. The first real person I fell HARD for happened when I was in uni and he was 12 yrs older than me and Italian. He really courted me and made me feel special. A charmer for sure. He worked away so times together were nice but then he distanced himself and we broke up. We were only together for about 5 months but it stung a lot. He was my first real heartbreak. Luckily for me Taylor Swift's album Red came out around that time .

 

[BlobbyBlobbyBlobby]

Wow all of that by 25? Is your fiance a lot older than you?

Only two years older. We started doing all this when I was 18 and he was 20.

 

[LittleMy]

I was 17, he was 20. We were together 7 years and it was a very heated relationship. We were on/off a lot but I genuinely loved him and I know he loved me. We just weren’t good for each other and it came to a point where I was growing up and wanted more from life, to settle down with a family, and he so wasn’t ready for that. He had a lot of problems, liked to drink all the time, and I carried him for a lot of the relationship. I wasn’t getting anything out of us being together, and it resulted in me becoming very depressed and suicidal. I met my now-husband after coming out of a rough period following the split with my ex. I took time to heal before moving on and putting myself back out there, and although my now-husband might not have been my first love, he is my greatest. He taught me that a relationship should be an equal partnership, not one person carrying the other. He also encourages me to try new things I never would have before and to step outside my comfort zone. We have fun and don’t need to be drinking to do so. He treats me well and is a great father to our children.

 

[Lollypad]

School. We were best friends for a long time and eventually got together and were together for 18 months (which when you’re 17/18 is your whole world). He was my first everything.
Timing wasn’t right and I’m still very fond of him and the experience we shared. He wasn’t the love of my life, and that’s ok, but as far as first experiences go I don’t think it could have been better. I hope he has a very happy life.

 

[Bobbleowl90]

My “first love” was absolutely toxic for me. On and off for 4/5 years and he had a girlfriend all along. When we met he lied and said they weren’t together. Then I got sucked in when he kept promising to leave her. I was obsessed with him but realise now what a manipulative control freak he was.
His girlfriend got shut of him and funnily enough we are friends now.
I regret every single minute I spent with him and feel sad I did it to her. He is a twisted person and I know he has cheated on his current gf also.
Also - probably serves me right, but I found out he was also cheating on me (if you can call it that) with my so called best friend.
good riddance.