Fathering Autism #83 A tiki bar and “all the things” A maassive hammock held up by string

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If Abbs isn't low functioning, what is she? How do we say it? We see a child that has only learned so much, without ability to progress. I don't think anyone here is meaning to insult her.
Abbie has higher (or high) support needs.

Firstly, using language like "low functioning" serves to dehumanize an autistic person. It reduces the person to something that is "broken" or not as deserving of the same human decency as a non-autistic person.
Look at the way Abbie's parents treat her - they talk about her as though she isn't there, they squeal and baby talk, they parade her around like a sideshow attraction, they don't give her privacy or proper tools to communicate...
What are some words we've seen used here and on other sites about Abbie? Words that focus on the stigma of her level of "functioning?"

There's a wealth of scientific study going back decades on the use of language in dehumanization and the effects that language can have on marginalized people or groups. Using language to dehumanize never ends well for vulnerable people.

The discussion around using functioning labels is that it makes it difficult to meet the individual needs of autistic people.
Someone who is called "high functioning" is often viewed as not needing much support in, say, a school or work environment. A "high functioning" child in school is assumed to be nothing more than mildly quirky. Maybe they have a hard time making friends, or they're a little shy.
A person called "low functioning" is generally assumed to be a lump of flesh with no "normal" capabilities.

The more accurate way, and the current diagnostic method, is to focus on the individual's need for support in various environments.
To use my younger child as an example - my child has higher support needs. My child can communicate verbally. Their vocabulary is fantastic - well above grade level - and they pronounce words quite well for their age. In ten minute bursts my child might appear "high functioning" to a casual observer who doesn't know us. In reality, though, my child only speaks to get their needs met or to "lecture" at people about their special interest. They cannot hold a conversation. Their use of language beyond scripted dialogue regarding a special interest and a handful of social niceties they've elected to use is highly atypical and is largely indecipherable unless I'm there to help translate. I even have to translate to my partner. My child cannot write, cannot spell even basic kindergarten level words (writing, typing, verbally, nothing), cannot reliably toilet or dress themself, is highly sensitive to noise and smells, has periodic bouts of elopement, and a host of other areas where they need extensive support. They receive speech and occupational therapy, intervention (i.e. special ed) services, as well as play-based psychological support (largely due to medical trauma & extreme anxiety). When my child is getting the support they need, they are able to learn at grade level and with modifications (most notably, right now, a scribe - or someone to transcribe their spoken answers) can complete all grade-level schoolwork.

Fifteen years ago my child would have been labeled "low functioning" and may never have been able to reach the milestone's they're currently achieving.

On the flip side, my older child has lower support needs. I didn't even realize they were autistic until my younger was diagnosed, and our neurologist said "hey, um..."
I assumed that Older Child's idiosyncrasies were from the ADHD diagnosis. Nope, not all of them! With some support my older child does just fine. They need frank discussion about social norms and using proper manners. They are very sensitive to certain fabrics and textures. They need frequent breaks to physically stim. I have to constantly stay on top of monitoring frustration levels in non-preferred activities. They need a very clear plan/schedule for the day's activities and a walkthrough of what to expect in new situations. They have a catastrophically short attention span outside of preferred activities. They don't require speech or OT, and for right now they meet with a psychiatrist quarterly to check in and to refill ADHD meds. They're able to work well above grade level in school - I homeschool since they don't require specialist support - as long as they have access to fidgets, movement breaks, flexible class scheduling, and prompting to stay on task. Also, Vyvanse.
If you just called my older child "high functioning," one would expect them to just be a little "weird." We're all proudly weird in this house, but my child does need support to do their best in a school environment or in the community. They don't have the same needs as a typical, non-autistic student. Reducing my child to a functioning label doesn't allow for the reality that they do have support needs!


Here's an article about different ways terms like "functioning" and "support" are used:
 
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No Vlog? Here is what I say.
A28161C1-AF93-46B9-8654-0F38E7D148B9.jpeg

Here is what they arr doing!
235D9CC6-D910-47E6-91E1-D423BBE7F493.jpeg

42BF0335-CDAE-4F23-BB6D-2470E7D958FD.gif

Pirate is the perfect costume for them. They arr lying screaming drunk robbers that will do anything to get the gold!💰
 
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This is bleeping awesome. For shits and giggles I searched tattle life fathering autism and look what popped up. It's even a gif! Hilarious! 😆
Screenshot_20210418-054841.png
 
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Beach town kid here. We never wore shoes in the summer. The bottoms of our feet were as tough as leather from walking on rocks, sand, and hot asphalt. It was a lot safer back then because people flushed condoms, towns didn't hand out free needles, and people swallowed their saliva. Ahh the good old days!
Going barefoot in Jacksonville in 2021 is damn stupid.

Piggy was freaking out because Crystal was using the fan and the fan is fake. Or as Piggy said, "It's real but it's fake" It doesn't vent outside because of where they put it but Piggy just had to have that island stove top. So technically, it's a "real" air extractor but it doesn't actually extract air. It's there for looks. At the time Crystal didn't know that Piggy n' Ass are fake as duck. She knows now.

piggyfan.jpg



Little Piglet is amazed someone can actually reach and see the useless control panel--especially when it's a tall, dark and strapping young woman who has more testosterone than her husband has ever had!
 
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I wish that I could present you with the award of the year. That was feckin' brilliant👏👏👏👏👏👏👏


This isn't Becca. This is Kaitlyn and Kaidale. Welcome to your new rabbit hole



🍷🍷🍷
When I said Becca, I was referring to the Instagram video posted, not the three pictures I posted.
 
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This is bleeping awesome. For shits and giggles I searched tattle life fathering autism and look what popped up. It's even a gif! Hilarious! 😆View attachment 534744
When I tried searching that so that I could try and figure out what the thing on the right hand side was, I just got a whole bunch of screenshots of their FB posts and comments that we’ve posted on here😆
 
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Beach town kid here. We never wore shoes in the summer. The bottoms of our feet were as tough as leather from walking on rocks, sand, and hot asphalt. It was a lot safer back then because people flushed condoms, towns didn't hand out free needles, and people swallowed their saliva. Ahh the good old days!
Going barefoot in Jacksonville in 2021 is damn stupid.

Piggy was freaking out because Crystal was using the fan and the fan is fake. Or as Piggy said, "It's real but it's fake" It doesn't vent outside because of where they put it but Piggy just had to have that island stove top. So technically, it's a "real" air extractor but it doesn't actually extract air. It's there for looks. At the time Crystal didn't know that Piggy n' Ass are fake as duck. She knows now.

View attachment 534697


Little Piglet is amazed someone can actually reach and see the useless control panel--especially when it's a tall, dark and strapping young woman who has more testosterone than her husband has ever had!
Her face🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂😂
DBE5EA79-2167-4681-86C3-4B3875E7E025.jpeg
 
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When I tried searching that so that I could try and figure out what the thing on the right hand side was, I just got a whole bunch of screenshots of their FB posts and comments that we’ve posted on here😆
Did you go to images when you searched? I went back and clicked on the picture next to it for you. This is where I ended up!

Screenshot_20210418-064409.png

Not sure where the screenshot came from!

Holy tit her upper arm is bigger than her head!
 
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Abbie has higher (or high) support needs.

Firstly, using language like "low functioning" serves to dehumanize an autistic person. It reduces the person to something that is "broken" or not as deserving of the same human decency as a non-autistic person.
Look at the way Abbie's parents treat her - they talk about her as though she isn't there, they squeal and baby talk, they parade her around like a sideshow attraction, they don't give her privacy or proper tools to communicate...
What are some words we've seen used here and on other sites about Abbie? Words that focus on the stigma of her level of "functioning?"

There's a wealth of scientific study going back decades on the use of language in dehumanization and the effects that language can have on marginalized people or groups. Using language to dehumanize never ends well for vulnerable people.

The discussion around using functioning labels is that it makes it difficult to meet the individual needs of autistic people.
Someone who is called "high functioning" is often viewed as not needing much support in, say, a school or work environment. A "high functioning" child in school is assumed to be nothing more than mildly quirky. Maybe they have a hard time making friends, or they're a little shy.
A person called "low functioning" is generally assumed to be a lump of flesh with no "normal" capabilities.

The more accurate way, and the current diagnostic method, is to focus on the individual's need for support in various environments.
To use my younger child as an example - my child has higher support needs. My child can communicate verbally. Their vocabulary is fantastic - well above grade level - and they pronounce words quite well for their age. In ten minute bursts my child might appear "high functioning" to a casual observer who doesn't know us. In reality, though, my child only speaks to get their needs met or to "lecture" at people about their special interest. They cannot hold a conversation. Their use of language beyond scripted dialogue regarding a special interest and a handful of social niceties they've elected to use is highly atypical and is largely indecipherable unless I'm there to help translate. I even have to translate to my partner. My child cannot write, cannot spell even basic kindergarten level words (writing, typing, verbally, nothing), cannot reliably toilet or dress themself, is highly sensitive to noise and smells, has periodic bouts of elopement, and a host of other areas where they need extensive support. They receive speech and occupational therapy, intervention (i.e. special ed) services, as well as play-based psychological support (largely due to medical trauma & extreme anxiety). When my child is getting the support they need, they are able to learn at grade level and with modifications (most notably, right now, a scribe - or someone to transcribe their spoken answers) can complete all grade-level schoolwork.

Fifteen years ago my child would have been labeled "low functioning" and may never have been able to reach the milestone's they're currently achieving.

On the flip side, my older child has lower support needs. I didn't even realize they were autistic until my younger was diagnosed, and our neurologist said "hey, um..."
I assumed that Older Child's idiosyncrasies were from the ADHD diagnosis. Nope, not all of them! With some support my older child does just fine. They need frank discussion about social norms and using proper manners. They are very sensitive to certain fabrics and textures. They need frequent breaks to physically stim. I have to constantly stay on top of monitoring frustration levels in non-preferred activities. They need a very clear plan/schedule for the day's activities and a walkthrough of what to expect in new situations. They have a catastrophically short attention span outside of preferred activities. They don't require speech or OT, and for right now they meet with a psychiatrist quarterly to check in and to refill ADHD meds. They're able to work well above grade level in school - I homeschool since they don't require specialist support - as long as they have access to fidgets, movement breaks, flexible class scheduling, and prompting to stay on task. Also, Vyvanse.
If you just called my older child "high functioning," one would expect them to just be a little "weird." We're all proudly weird in this house, but my child does need support to do their best in a school environment or in the community. They don't have the same needs as a typical, non-autistic student. Reducing my child to a functioning label doesn't allow for the reality that they do have support needs!


Here's an article about different ways terms like "functioning" and "support" are used:
thank you so so much for wording this so well. I struggle with wording! I admire how you spoke about you child and the respect and privacy you gave them too.❤ This is exactly right and clears up the confusion from another post about functioning labels. If I was high functioning I wouldn’t get access to the help I need. If we are talking about Abbie, she is just autistic too. I can’t get over how dehumanising Abbies parents are, it’s so not fair.


Here’s to being proud of being a little weird 🌈
 
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Yes I immediately thought of that too🤣

Did you go to images when you searched? I went back and clicked on the picture next to it for you. This is where I ended up!

View attachment 534801
Not sure where the screenshot came from!


Holy tit her upper arm is bigger than her head!
So are you saying that that second gif/image was from that forum - from the screenshot that you just posted? And yes I did go to images but I had much more than just two things😆
 
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Beach town kid here. We never wore shoes in the summer. The bottoms of our feet were as tough as leather from walking on rocks, sand, and hot asphalt. It was a lot safer back then because people flushed condoms, towns didn't hand out free needles, and people swallowed their saliva. Ahh the good old days!
Going barefoot in Jacksonville in 2021 is damn stupid.

Piggy was freaking out because Crystal was using the fan and the fan is fake. Or as Piggy said, "It's real but it's fake" It doesn't vent outside because of where they put it but Piggy just had to have that island stove top. So technically, it's a "real" air extractor but it doesn't actually extract air. It's there for looks. At the time Crystal didn't know that Piggy n' Ass are fake as duck. She knows now.

View attachment 534697


Little Piglet is amazed someone can actually reach and see the useless control panel--especially when it's a tall, dark and strapping young woman who has more testosterone than her husband has ever had!
Why does this not surprise me?
Oh wait, that is because permits were never pulled to actually do the electrical work and construction of the kitchen...
Want to talk about mold central within a few years? Improper venting of a stove top and the fan not able to release steam.. Yep, bring on even more mold,,
 
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I used to work in the field. I know the game and I am quite over having to change my vocabulary every other year to accommodate whatever the current standard of wokeness/political correctness happens to be.

Abbie does almost nothing for herself. They have filmed her daily for years and years and her disabilities and abilities are quite obvious. Any imagined cognitive or physical abilities beyond what are exhibited are parental and humper fantasies.

Saying she is low functioning most certainly doesn't mean she is less than human. I cannot even fathom that someone suggested it was. It's just how she is and the decent thing is to accept her the way she is.
 
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Beach town kid here. We never wore shoes in the summer. The bottoms of our feet were as tough as leather from walking on rocks, sand, and hot asphalt. It was a lot safer back then because people flushed condoms, towns didn't hand out free needles, and people swallowed their saliva. Ahh the good old days!
Going barefoot in Jacksonville in 2021 is damn stupid.

Piggy was freaking out because Crystal was using the fan and the fan is fake. Or as Piggy said, "It's real but it's fake" It doesn't vent outside because of where they put it but Piggy just had to have that island stove top. So technically, it's a "real" air extractor but it doesn't actually extract air. It's there for looks. At the time Crystal didn't know that Piggy n' Ass are fake as duck. She knows now.

View attachment 534697


Little Piglet is amazed someone can actually reach and see the useless control panel--especially when it's a tall, dark and strapping young woman who has more testosterone than her husband has ever had!
Holy cheese she's three times the girth of Crystal! #105pounds my ass.
 
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How is it even possible that her face and that porky pig arm are shaped the exact same way? Two big, bulbous, mushy mounds of useless flesh. We’ve seen Abbies new respite. When do we get to see Pigfuckles respite? As for the real, but fake vent hood. 😂 No surprise these dull crayons took the lazy route. Just further proof that the “ New Kitchen” design was another pig branding venture. She needs to have all the thingth when she makes Rice Krispy treats for Abbies followers. 🐽oinkoinkoink🐽
 

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I used to work in the field. I know the game and I am quite over having to change my vocabulary every other year to accommodate whatever the current standard of wokeness/political correctness happens to be.

Abbie does almost nothing for herself. They have filmed her daily for years and years and her disabilities and abilities are quite obvious. Any imagined cognitive or physical abilities beyond what are exhibited are parental and humper fantasies.

Saying she is low functioning most certainly doesn't mean she is less than human. I cannot even fathom that someone suggested it was. It's just how she is and the decent thing is to accept her the way she is.
I hear you. Twenty one years in the field. I lost count how many times we went back and forth from client to consumer to client to consumer. Now it's individuals. I guess I look at it as a matter of respect. As far as low functioning goes I would rather say high support need because there is nothing more cringy than a low support needs autistic individual calling a high support needs autistic individual low functioning. That was a mouth full!
 
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That fake grass hanging off the golf cart really enhances the redwoods... its almost like we are looking at an actual tree
I keep saying “it can’t mean that” but I fear it does...thanking LM victims for donating to “sponsor” a golf cart. So the victims pay and the Pig -In -Chief garners the benefit of marketing her “brand”. I am sure her appeal would have been couched in phrases like “supporting autism needs” Seems to me she makes enough from her LM business to pay for her own advertising. Praying I am wrong. (Preying seems the more appropriate description, though)
 
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I keep saying “it can’t mean that” but I fear it does...thanking LM victims for donating to “sponsor” a golf cart. So the victims pay and the Pig -In -Chief garners the benefit of marketing her “brand”. I am sure her appeal would have been couched in phrases like “supporting autism needs” Seems to me she makes enough from her LM business to pay for her own advertising. Praying I am wrong. (Preying seems the more appropriate description, though)
When P held her LM retreat a couple months ago, her girls chipped in to give her a gift. The leftover money was given to her and she told the girls she would find some way to donate it to an autism cause/event. This was the chosen event.
 
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When P held her LM retreat a couple months ago, her girls chipped in to give her a gift. The leftover money was given to her and she told the girls she would find some way to donate it to an autism cause/event. This was the chosen event.
Thank you for the reply! Can’t believe that they would find it necessary to give her a gift, though! I remember when that happened and thought it odd then, too!
 
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