I’ve mostly mentioned that MD was “grabbing at straws” in her videos. If ‘so many here keep mentioning to believe MD due to her supposed ASD,’ then why go off on my post? I haven’t seen you say that once & MD has been discussed all week.
I’ve mostly mentioned that MD was “grabbing at straws” in her videos. If ‘so many here keep mentioning to believe MD due to her supposed ASD,’ then why go off on my post? I haven’t seen you say that once & MD has been discussed all week.I never discounted or questioned her feelings. I have an issue with two things that you just threw into a pile now. First, MD doesn't say how she feels or would feel. That is absolutley fine and can give interesting insights. What she did a lot though was projecting her own feelings and assuming how Abbie must feel, based on them both having ASD. Plus calling it outright abuse.
My original comment was never about her, it was about people here on Tattle taking her words as truth and just going with it, because she "has ASD too, so she knows"(paraphrasing here). This is just not how it works though. I said that me having ASD myself doesn't give me psychic abilities about other people's feelings, because it doesn't. And the same goes for MD. Her opinions are her opinions. They are just not inherently true, because "what she says makes sense".
Edit: I was clearly not referring to MD but myself as I mentioned spending a lot of time on education research. I don't know what her background is, so why would I talk about it in this way?
But, it is reinforcing the behavior.Yep I remember that too! It was also not just any old 'regular' punishment, it was because Abbie hated the sensory experience of sweeping - exactly why ABA is sh*t! Using someone's least favourite sensory experiences against them..that's not cool! Also, in one of the viral supermarket videos, I'm pretty sure Arsewipe and P say that they can't leave because (something along the lines of) "ABA taught us that if you leave you're reinforcing the behaviour". Um, no, it's not "behaviour", a supermarket is literally sensory hell for most autistic people, I struggle in them too.
I know that you did and i was suprised by your statement that they should listen, because she has ASD. Did you mean something else?I’ve mostly mentioned that MD was “grabbing at straws” in her videos. If ‘so many here keep mentioning to believe MD due to her supposed ASD,’ then why go off on my post? I haven’t seen you say that once & MD has been discussed all week.
Well, they do say some hurt the ones they love. I don’t think Abbie hates P, I just think she is more fun to pinch (like a Squishie). Assa is more firm verbally? My guess. Abbie is manipulative. She also can’t control her biting tantrums & stop herself when Assa’s hand or arm is in the way of her own. But I’m sure there are glimpses of cuddle times w/ her mom. I do think P has had to guard herself emotionally.She tolerated her attacks for many years instead of showing her that she's no longer willing to accept this behaviour. Abbie knows exacacty that she's to weak and helpless to show her when it's enough.
Abbie lost her respect years ago and i doubt she would harm her staff at school, Brandy
or even Asa like Mrs. Maassive.
After all those years the sympathy between mother and daughter is gone and it'll neuer coming back.
It is reinforcing a behavior when it teaches Abbie that if she gets upset enough, throws enough of a fit, she won't have to do something she doesn't want to or feel like doing. Every child, NT or ND has to be taught how to function in the world and that includes them doing chores that they don't enjoy or not being allowed to do certain things that are harmful/dangerous to themselves or others and also teaching them they can't get their own way all the time.Yep I remember that too! It was also not just any old 'regular' punishment, it was because Abbie hated the sensory experience of sweeping - exactly why ABA is sh*t! Using someone's least favourite sensory experiences against them..that's not cool! Also, in one of the viral supermarket videos, I'm pretty sure Arsewipe and P say that they can't leave because (something along the lines of) "ABA taught us that if you leave you're reinforcing the behaviour". Um, no, it's not "behaviour", a supermarket is literally sensory hell for most autistic people, I struggle in them too.
I wish you had acknowledged my previous posts about not totally trusting MD’s word. I’m high sensory & possibly on the spectrum myself. I only ended w/ listening to MD because she has ASD (or however I put it) because that was the concensus here & long ago I was picked apart for sounding ableist. (Meanwhile, the tide has changed here over the last year & ableist comments haven’t been a hot topic). I so much had said that I felt sorry for Abbie. Having mentioned that, Greyson Niles guy spoke a lot about that & he definitely sounds Aspie, from my experience (no offense anyone! he sounds intelligent & articulate) but I personally can’t totally get behind his views on ASD, because I’m a feelings person (empath most likely) & if parents feel like they need to mourn over an ASD dx, then so be it, as long as it comes to healing & acceptance. But we all have our good & bad days, so it’s not the end of the world for a parent to feel sad. Plus, social media probably doesn’t help.I know that you did and i was suprised by your statement that they should listen, because she has ASD. Did you mean something else?
I have mentioned not supporting this "she is right, because autism" and called her videos opinion pieces and her projecting and your post that seemed to do the same prompted me to state my opinion. It could have been a response to another post, but it was yours. I phrased it more like a general statement though and didn't mention you directly, I letreally used this one sentence as a cliffhanger, which then resulted in you calling me rude and defensive.
The whole ABA thing is very controversial. There is the FA side of "this is the best ever!" and the other extreme is "this is conversion therapy!" and trying to find a middle ground is almost impossible (even though both sides are wrong or at least not thinking things all the way through/ just showing things in a very one sided way).But, it is reinforcing the behavior.
If I flip out in the grocery store because I want my favorite cereal, and my Mom gave in and put the cereal in cart, what just happened?
I try, but cant get behind it. Whats the solution? She never leaves the house? Never does a chore?
Rewarding good behavior with positive reinforcers like food is compared to training a dog, and every punishment is considered torture.
So whats the answer? Abbie gets to live and behave however she chooses? Not trying to be snotty, but that isnt helping her.
Wow, I read the whole thing with horror! Hope you and your kid are better now xI can't keep up, haha!
I was sad to see the CPS stuff. They're neglectful, but Abbie would not do well in the system. I found the whole thing suspect though. Who is that happy and gleeful after a visit from a social worker? I was called on once- my child was screaming bloody murder, so I do think it was warranted, but he was screaming because I was giving him a bath. I was washing his hair and he had really hard time with sensory issues with his head. So I let them in my house to look around, gave them the contact info our our behaviour interventionists, told them about my son's autism and how it displays, and apologized. I also gave them the name and number of our social worker who helps us with safety and communication items.
On the other hand, there was no follow up. I think that's often the case, they are overwhelmed, understaffed, and underpaid. I grew up in foster care, was in multiple abusive homes, and I was never checked up on until the caregivers decided their check wasn't worth having me there. (I was quiet, usually what would happen is they would go to hit me and I would flinch because I HAVE PTSD). I would go into social services, they would take me into a room to weigh, measure, and take photos of my body. No charges were ever laid on any of my caregivers, despite how bad some of my injuries were.
I remember one time before I was put into foster care, though. My mom was with this abusive dude- everybody knew he had anger issues. We had a worker who would come pretty often to ensure our safety, and she never once asked me to roll up the long sleeves I was forced to wear, or the pant legs. She never asked why I never answered her questions without looking at my abuser first. She failed, and I think that if CPS did come to see the Maass's, that they slightly failed Abbie. I can't believe there was no suggestion, at the very least, to fence the pool, to ensure that she can't escape the house while they sleep. She doesn't need to be removed, but those steps should be taken IMO.
This is long but I have one more story, and it shed light as to why I was in abusive situations as long as I was. My eldest was hanging out with a neighbour kid last year after school. We live in the same building, and I would pay them for the time he was there. One day, this other kid, M, decided it was time to see my kid's penis. He then wrestled my kid down and pulled his pants off. My kid escaped and told me about it, and I have never let them hang out since. I didn't mind that M was curious- I understand that can be normal. My concern was with how forceful it was. Later that day, my son shared that this was not the first time M tried something, and that M has shown my son his penis and butt as well.
I called CPS. I gave them all the info I had, and because this involved my child, I also had to effectively report myself. It was upsetting and terrifying. Nothing ever came of it. Even on the phone they told me that this wasn't enough to start an investigation.
People at school (this was in mid January) noticed a difference in my kid, so I ended up calling a meeting with my son's EA, his teacher, resource lead, and principal. I told them that I didn't want this child ostracized, but I was afraid of him either getting my son alone and assaulting him again, or some other child. I told them the events without mentioning names, and they agreed that they needed to come up with safety protocols. It was at this time I shared the name of the other child, so he could be carefully watched.
From all that, I realized that maybe people actually did call CPS on my behalf. CPS just decided it wasn't dire enough, but they BARELY LOOKED.
I don't think that this was an actual CPS visit, as she wasn't wearing a mask, they were downright giddy, and the lady they filmed looked to be dressed pretty casually. But to think that this woman wouldn't have a single recommendation for them, particularly for their pool, is wild to me.
To end this, I will clarify I didn't call on them. I do think that they were excited for content, maybe saw MD's stuff through Tattle, and when they read her comments, they were excited to have another clickbait video. Just my thoughts. Hope everyone is doing well, and if you got through this, you're a champ!!
Okay, fair. I could have done that. It seems to be a hassle for something that was intended as a general statement though. But I get why you could feel attacked.I wish you had acknowledged my previous posts about not totally trusting MD’s word. I’m high sensory & possibly on the spectrum myself. I only ended w/ listening to MD because she has ASD (or however I put it) because that was the concensus here & long ago I was picked apart for sounding ableist. (Meanwhile, the tide has changed here over the last year & ableist comments haven’t been a hot topic). I so much had said that I felt sorry for Abbie. Having mentioned that, Greyson Niles guy spoke a lot about that & he definitely sounds Aspie, from my experience (no offense anyone! he sounds intelligent & articulate) but I personally can’t totally get behind his views on ASD, because I’m a feelings person (empath most likely) & if parents feel like they need to mourn over an ASD dx, then so be it, as long as it comes to healing & acceptance. But we all have our good & bad days, so it’s not the end of the world for a parent to feel sad. Plus, social media probably doesn’t help.
Btw, I cringe at the word projecting. I am not sure if I believe in it. Anyone else feel this way? Assa used it once against maybe the lame goth mom (who made vids about FA mos ago).
That's what I thought as well. It wasn't too long ago, maybe around 3 - 4 weeks ago, that Asa was saying that Abbie exhibits aggression almost every day. Now in today's vlog, he's saying it doesn't happen very often. It's like when he said that Abbie hasn't slept during the day for YEARS when there is video evidence to the contrary. There was something else he tried to say Abbie hasn't done in a really long time, despite contrary video evidence, again. I can't recall what it is at the moment but if I remember later, I'll post it. I think it might have been something related to Abbie and the pool.“Maybe the noticeable stress the rest of the family is under”...
So...aggression happens often? Or it doesn’t? Way to contradict yourself there Moobie.
They have mentioned aggression many times, so maybe your chaotic circus is a constant stress on Abbie. The level of deflect and defend is maddening.
So, Abbie may have been dry in that vlog the other day, but not for for long according to the missing biohazard couch cushion!
back to the vlog.....they are such idiots
Just to add a bit to the sensory issue thing. I have pretty bad sensory issues. Add in Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome and most stores are torture. Too long and I can be sick the rest of the day. Also will get increasingly agitated, anxiety/panic attacks. On a bad day it can be really bad.The whole ABA thing is very controversial. There is the FA side of "this is the best ever!" and the other extreme is "this is conversion therapy!" and trying to find a middle ground is almost impossible (even though both sides are wrong or at least not thinking things all the way through/ just showing things in a very one sided way).
I would like to go more into detail, but it would be a huge, long and boring post. So I will go with the sweeping and the supermarket thing.
I have no issues with sweeping as punishment. Abbie misbehaved (in the car and in a dangerous way like opening the door) and there have to be consequences. It was also a short episode. There has been speculation about Abbie having traumatic memories associated with it, but there is absolutely no evidence.
The supermarket is a bit different. Those things can be torture for people with sensory processing disorder and just powering through would actually hurt in the long run (negative association). Here is where the whole ABA thing falls short. I simply breaks stuff down to behaviour and disregards anything going on in the brain (makes sense as it is literally operant conditioning). It just treats the symptom, not the cause. There is also the difference between tantrum and meltdown (complicated to boil down, but ask if interested). Solutions outside of ABA are usually things like headphones or sunglasses (to lower the sensory input) and fidget toys.
It is a fine line between using conditioning (which all parents do sometimes) and trying to find the underlying cause. Just breaking stuff down to "don't reinforce" or "muh sensory issues" is just not doing the topic or the complexity of the human brain any justice.
That's exactly why many autistic people hate ABA! Also, in my observation, most of the "ABA lovers" are *parents* of autistic children, and therapists and medical professionals. Even the US government did a survey where about 90% of responders said ABA was not helpful/didn't work...I watched this cutie yesterday. He’s also had to turn comments off, because you know the FA cyber bullies went after him. Given there is an obvious division of thought in the autism world, particularly with regard to ABA therapy, you would think they’d be used to criticism. I never understood “hands waiting”, look at me, was considered stem suppression, by some...
On October 10 2018, Ab ran and jumped into the hotel pool during one of her Surfers for Autism weekends. It wasn't caught on camera, but Asshat mentions it and Ab has wet hair.****E.T.A - I remember now. Asshat tried to claim that Abbie has not tried to jump into water (other than their pool) for years. When there is a video of it happening last summer with the video titled something like "Didn't think she'd jump in!" and there was another video recently that Summer did w/ Abbie where she took her to the beach and Summer had to quickly stop Abbie from running into the water with her clothes on (altho, knowing Abbie, she probably would have started to strip once she got into the water).
That video is very touching, that close up of her is precious, it’s so sad how she’s regressed so muchI was digging around to see if there are other Youtubers who may have posted videos regarding the latest developments and Youtube showed me this - it seems we see a totally different girl - so many changes and regression.
If he can isolate Isaiah's track that would be most helpful. Thank you and him for doing this.im on my phone atm. My husband has over $100k in producing programs on his computer so when he gets home I’ll let him edit everything out.
I get it Abbie is difficult to handle, especially when she is aggressive but I think Priscilla never got a handle on not being the “fun” parent and that she needed to discipline Abbie.. She never accepted that there was something wrong with Abbie for a very long time and way beyond the age of trying to use any type of discipline. She let Abbie run all over her, sitting down at Isaiah’s ball game and she just let Abbie beat all over her, this was just one time of many, that we seen Abbie do this..I know this gif is a lil blurry but, tattle won't let me upload a better version.
But here is P making a face and shaking her head looking extremely annoyed after Abbie having lashed out at her. I'm not saying it wouldn't be upsetting to be on the receiving end of something like that... but P's reaction is like "I can't believe I have to put up with this bullshit."
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you’re welcome! He said he would try. It might not be tonight but I’ll have it soon.If he can isolate Isaiah's track that would be most helpful. Thank you and him for doing this.
Asa's reasoning is that if she starts fussing and you're able to give her something or do something for her and the fussing stops - then it's a tantrum. If there's nothing you can say or do, she just continues tantruming and the intensity escalates etc then it's a meltdown.can someone explain what the difference in a meltdown and tantrum is? Cause they seem to be the same thing to me.
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