It is probably painful for them, but also shows that they are in denial of who Abbie really is...things like not wanting her to have a "special needs" hair cut imo shows a need to distance themselves from that group and shows a lack of respect for a group she belongs to.
A lot of people here do have children with IDD. Not sure who you are wanting to tell go screw themselves, but the one time I get a reply on this site anymore, it's something like this. Not everyone talks about their private lives on here, and either way is fine. I don't because mine is too painful (then again I wouldn't make a You Tube vlog about myself). My sister was diagnosed with boarderline IDD as a child. Not the same as your own child, I know, but she's the only one I'll ever have. I know the sense of denial and disappointment, but that didn't last with me. She also has major behavior issues, has thrown knives at me, beat on me, cusses me out every day and is abusive to our mom and her dog. I would gladly take a severe IDD diagnosis if she would just be a nice person like a lot of her specal needs friends are.
In short, intelligence is overrated, and if the Maass' are in denial about who their daughter is they need to get over it sooner rather than later. I'm one of the least critical people on this thread, but some people seem to be here mainly to wag their finger at other posters.