Fathering Autism #34 With each new vlog the lies get bigger, so do the rolls on P's figure

[SpiritofSalty]

I agree with everything you say, the only thing is most of us on here think her main disability is IDD and he just won’t a admit it.

I know. I've read all the threads and I agree. Abbie would not be able to complete even a nonverbal intelligence test. I don't know, how much worse her parents have made it with their behaviour though. I do think that Abbie is smarter than some people here give her credit for. In my opinion she has just given up to effectively communicate as their reaction is often unprdictable.

I focused on autism, because this is still the narrative that the channel pushes. I tried not to comment on Abbies behavior that much, it was more about A using autism and his stupid conclusions based on that. He wanted to look good and knowledgable, when he just isn't (and can't be bothered to learn). And I absolutely hate that he uses everything Abbie does as "Autism-am-I-right?"

I can't recall ever hearing them say IDD specifically, but it does not bother me personally. I understand the point some people are trying to make about it, in that their emphasis on autism 99.99% of the time could be considered misleading in multiple, potentially very significant ways. I can think of a truckload of reasons to cut them some slack about the issue, not the least of which is that an IDD diagnosis can be particularly painful to parents (even moreso than autism). The Wee Family have a video where they discuss their daughter's intellectual disability diagnosis (linked here), which shows some of the heartbreak and denial such parents can experience. I know that there are some people here who have special needs children and they are okay with criticizing the way the Maasses present information about their family, but personally I would never criticize the parents of an IDD child for not talking about their child's issues in the way I would prefer.

I honestly believe that people who have no experience with the process of having their child evaluated for or diagnosed with delays have no business criticizing the way the Maasses present the information. If you haven't been through it (or anything even remotely close to it), you simply do not understand. You cannot possibly understand. I have a daughter who has been evaluated multiple times, though never formally diagnosed. (Ultimately she'll almost certainly be placed somewhere "on the spectrum," though it does not so far meet clear criteria for any particular diagnosis.) This has been a source of the most intense and drawn out pain of my entire life by a wide margin. My reaction to this challenge is not rational or logical, and it is not my choice--it is like a primal, biological thing born from the attachment I have for her as well as my own emotional/mental shortcomings. My reaction is nothing like the reaction I would have deemed appropriate when I lacked first-hand experience. If anybody wanted to criticize the way I choose to share information about her, I honestly would tell them to go screw themselves. If my daughter ever receives a diagnosis, I will share it in exactly the way I feel is best for her.

Personally I think the absence of regular references to IDD is nothing more than the product of the Maasses finding the topic painful and potentially being in denial, wanting to believe that there is more to Abbie than can be categorized with tests. These explanations reflect perfectly normal and healthy parenting (whether it's ultimately imperfect or not, helpful for the public or not.)

In case some of you are not aware, it is not unprecedented that a person might be viewed as hopelessly impaired only for it to later be discovered that the person was merely imparied in ways which prevented them from making their full potential immediately and clearly obvious. The movie My Left Foot shows this extremely well.

It always takes time to come to terms about diasabilities. All of them (speaking from experience here as I have another acquired disability). It is basically a grieving process for everyone involved. I constantly talk to parents who try to come to terms with a diagnosis and you are right, the reactions aren't necessarily rational. Anger, resentment, guilt, relief - I've seen it all (and I began to work there less than than three years ago) And that is perfectly fine. As long as there is some development.
The thing with the Maasses is their dishonesty. They pretend that they are at peace with who Abbie is and that it is all sunshine and unicorns when they are not. They never worked through their issues, it is just pushed aside. Ultimately at Abbies cost.
Also, they can't openly talk about the whole scope of their daughterss diasbilities, but they can open an entire Youtube channel and talk about that one aspect they find acceptable. And not only that, but they pretend to be some kind of experts or spokespeople and Abbie to be the 'poster girl' for autism. That is just bullshit.

 

[Appalled watcher from Eng]

I know. I've read all the threads and I agree. Abbie would not be able to complete even a nonverbal intelligence test. I don't know, how much worse her parents have made it with their behaviour though. I do think that Abbie is smarter than some people here give her credit for. In my opinion she has just given up to effectively communicate as their reaction is often unprdictable.

I focused on autism, because this is still the narrative that the channel pushes. I tried not to comment on Abbies behavior that much, it was more about A using autism and his stupid conclusions based on that. He wanted to look good and knowledgable, when he just isn't (and can't be bothered to learn). And I absolutely hate that he uses everything Abbie does as "Autism-am-I-right?"



It always takes time to come to terms about diasabilities. All of them (speaking from experience here as I have another acquired disability). It is basically a grieving process for everyone involved. I constantly talk to parents who try to come to terms with a diagnosis and you are right, the reactions aren't necessarily rational. Anger, resentment, guilt, relief - I've seen it all (and I began to work there less than than three years ago) And that is perfectly fine. As long as there is some development.
The thing with the Maasses is their dishonesty. They pretend that they are at peace with who Abbie is and that it is all sunshine and unicorns when they are not. They never worked through their issues, it is just pushed aside. Ultimately at Abbies cost.
Also, they can't openly talk about the whole scope of their daughterss diasbilities, but they can open an entire Youtube channel and talk about that one aspect they find acceptable. And not only that, but they pretend to be some kind of experts or spokespeople and Abbie to be the 'poster girl' for autism. That is just bullshit.

I am so pleased that you have joined this channel as it is very interesting to hear what you so eloquently have to say.

I think we all have one thing in common here in that we want the best for Abbie and to see her making progress. Sadly due to the extreme stubborness of Asa, Abbie does not receive much in the way of practical help. As far as her mother goes, IMO she is useless and nothing will change that.

What practical ways do you think they should be helping Abbie?

 

[PhartBlossom]

Good morning tattlers, I got up and watched the vlog this morning. man...Asa loves to hear himself talk, eh?

There he is showing that Abbie knows so many signs but yet he had to help her with almost all of them. And I agree with everyone here, you teach her donut? Instead of "please" or "stop"? Good lord..... Prissy was so happy to see it and giggled when Abbie took a huge bite of that donut. I believe she gets much pleasure from over feeding her family. I think she would love it if they were all grossly obese like she is.

If Abbie is scrolling through the ipad and watches only 3 seconds it's like her ipad is no more than a stimming mechanism. They could have taught her so much more communication over the years and ignoring her attempt at communication is as wrong as a soup sandwich. It does not matter whay she signs "bathroom" take her to the damn bathroom you lazy fucks.

I believe Abbie's hands, flat feet, hyper extended knees, lack of core tone is all due to low muscle which is common is some Autistic people. If she had POTS or EDS the Maass would be all over that educating people about it. Look up Hypotonia and you will see hands and feet just like Abbies. I saw that quite a bit with the children I worked with.

 

[SpiritofSalty]

I am so pleased that you have joined this channel as it is very interesting to hear what you so eloquently have to say.

I think we all have one thing in common here in that we want the best for Abbie and to see her making progress. Sadly due to the extreme stubborness of Asa, Abbie does not receive much in the way of practical help. As far as her mother goes, IMO she is useless and nothing will change that.

What practical ways do you think they should be helping Abbie?

Aww, thank you. That is so kind . I am just happy that I have found a place that isn't overrun by leghumpers.
In my opinion, they could do a lot. Sad thing is that they won't do anything as they think properly raising their kid isn't really their job. They are used to everyone around them picking up the slack (therapists, teachers, respite and - if all else fails - Isaiah). They also shy away from any confrontation and are notoriously lazy. They want an easy and immediate fix. Which doesn't exist.

Hypothetically speaking though the key is consistency (as multiple others on here have said time and time again) and actually enforcing rules. Those rules need to be transparent for Abbie and that is most easily done by tying an immediate consequence to something (example she steals food and in response she has to leave the room).
Another thing is a schedule. I wouldn't be able to function in that house and I'm just surprised that Abbie isn't in a constant meltdown (even though it looks like she is close to one most of the time). The schedule doesn't need to be super rigid, but some cornerstones would help her. Practice it for a couple of weeks and after that you can change it a tiny bit now and then. The lockdown would've been ideal for that.
I would also suggest daily sensory playtime. Just have a corner of the room with all her favourite toys (akin to her sensory room in the old house). Have a designated time for her to go there and let her choose (without the pick-something-else-spiel) or look when she she is stressed out or preferably both. Everyone needs a break sometimes. Have some toys for her when you leave the house (I usually recommend something like a diaper bag to parents. Chewies, maracas, those weighted fitness wristbands, whatever the kid likes).

Finally, stop manhandling her!! How is Abby supposed to know that pinching and tugging and hair pulling isn't okay, when everyone around her does it to her (or something similar). It makes her anxious and insecure (it is like constantly walking around expecting an attack. You don't know when it it going to happen, but eventually it will. That would drive everyone insane. Who would want to live like that?)

 

[PhartBlossom]

Finally, stop manhandling her!! How is Abby supposed to know that pinching and tugging and hair pulling isn't okay, when everyone around her does it to her (or something similar). It makes her anxious and insecure (it is like constantly walking around expecting an attack. You don't know when it it going to happen, but eventually it will. That would drive everyone insane. Who would want to live like that?)

THAT blows my mind! I hate to see any of them manhandling her, throwing her in water, pushing her and the constant tickling is horrible. They will even hide and jump out at her...you said it right, walking around never knowing if you will be scared, booped or attacked is very anxiety producing. Plus how can Abbie ever learn not to grab other people if they constantly do it to her.

A video from last week with Summer forcing hugs and wrestling Abbie on her bed? Oh my God! Summer should never work with or be responsible for mentally disabled people, ever. That girl ain't right....just ain't right. Prissy walks in and said it is so cute...as a mom had I walked in on that it would have been much different, I would have had a sit down with Miss Summer. She has NO business tickling or wrestling Abbie and the excuse that Abbie laughs is a nonsense excuse for doing it. Isaiah needs to stop with all the handsy crap as well.

 

[Catja]

I love cereal, but am careful not to eat this much, even when I’m super hungry! This quantity of cereal is certain to keep her stomach stretched out & she’ll be obese in no time. She may as well be eating a giant bowl of cotton candy.

And what is with her tarantula hand? What sort of connective tissue problem did Thilly pass down to her kids?

tarantula hand. Omg.

 

[PhartBlossom]

tarantula hand. Omg.

Hypotonia

 

[WowMeowMeowWow]

I love cereal, but am careful not to eat this much, even when I’m super hungry! This quantity of cereal is certain to keep her stomach stretched out & she’ll be obese in no time. She may as well be eating a giant bowl of cotton candy.

And what is with her tarantula hand? What sort of connective tissue problem did Thilly pass down to her kids?

Yes! They shouldn’t act surprised when she is asking for something to eat an hour after her bowl of sugar. Lucky Charms does not have a whole lot of nutritional value. She probably is hungry fairly soon after cereal.

 

[Jigsy]

She looks soooooooooo stupid! All she does is jiggle and roll her fat around. Y’all know how they are always trying to get Abbie to raise her arms up high? Well, Big P cannot get her maassive branches up there either!! Just another jacked up trait has passed along to her litter.

OH Good Lord!!!!!!! That is something I can not unsee.

 

[WowMeowMeowWow]

OH Good Lord!!!!!!! That is something I can not unsee.

It is definitely traumatizing! Keep reading @Jigsy ! This show earned Big P and new name.....Tinkerhog!

 

[cathy77533]

OH Good Lord!!!!!!! That is something I can not unsee.

She said on her live she’s losing inches, not pounds! Really? Stop lifting your arms!

 

[WowMeowMeowWow]

Good Morning Tattlers!

 

[Hotographer512]

I think we all may view Abbie's abilities/diagnosis differently and that's ok. I ain't mad at cha.
The problem I have is, the hambeasts are not being honest about how obviously profoundly IDD she is and building their brand on the Autism label.
I believe that they lie. They hide things. They step around things. They deny things. They cover up things. It's their nature to do so. We have seen it in their vlogs and we all know about his 1st daughter.
My opinion is, the way they present the information about Abbie's diagnosis is a deliberate scam to intentionally mislead and defraud people who have autism diagnosis or a family member does, for a paycheck, under the guise of spreading autism awareness.
Period.
To suggest that they had emotional things to work through upon getting the IDD diagnosis would mean that they have souls.
I have not seen any convincing evidence, in the thousands of videos they have put out, that would convince me they do.
I see gluttonous, greedy, lying, narcissistic, lazy, ignorant, morbidly obese, hambeasts who exploit Abbie and anything else they can for money.
Just my opinion.

 

[Stripe69]

I think we all may view Abbie's abilities/diagnosis differently and that's ok. I ain't mad at cha.
The problem I have is, the hambeasts are not being honest about how obviously profoundly IDD she is and building their brand on the Autism label.
I believe that they lie. They hide things. They step around things. They deny things. They cover up things. It's their nature to do so. We have seen it in their vlogs and we all know about his 1st daughter.
My opinion is, the way they present the information about Abbie's diagnosis is a deliberate scam to intentionally mislead and defraud people who have autism diagnosis or a family member does, for a paycheck, under the guise of spreading autism awareness.
Period.
To suggest that they had emotional things to work through upon getting the IDD diagnosis would mean that they have souls.
I have not seen any convincing evidence, in the thousands of videos they have put out, that would convince me they do.
I see gluttonous, greedy, lying, narcissistic, lazy, ignorant, morbidly obese, hambeasts who exploit Abbie and anything else they can for money.
Just my opinion.

Everything you just said

 

[SpiritofSalty]

She has NO business tickling or wrestling Abbie and the excuse that Abbie laughs is a nonsense excuse for doing it. Isaiah needs to stop with all the handsy crap as well.

I am not sure that Abbies laugh is actually a real laugh. It often seems like it is a sign of insecurity or distress and dumbfucks 1 to 4 (including Summer) are just hearing it and are thinking "it sounds like a laugh, she must be happy". It is like when people are holding young monkeys and the monkeys are showing their teeth. The majority thinks that this is a smile, but it is actually a sign of fear (google fear grimace)

Going by what I see in the videos (could be totally biased and wrong of course), the laughing often occurs when Abbie is backing away or pushing someone. It happened in the last vlog when she was pushing Piggy.

 

[cucumber]

I can't recall ever hearing them say IDD specifically, but it does not bother me personally. I understand the point some people are trying to make about it, in that their emphasis on autism 99.99% of the time could be considered misleading in multiple, potentially very significant ways. I can think of a truckload of reasons to cut them some slack about the issue, not the least of which is that an IDD diagnosis can be particularly painful to parents (even moreso than autism). The Wee Family have a video where they discuss their daughter's intellectual disability diagnosis (linked here), which shows some of the heartbreak and denial such parents can experience. I know that there are some people here who have special needs children and they are okay with criticizing the way the Maasses present information about their family, but personally I would never criticize the parents of an IDD child for not talking about their child's issues in the way I would prefer.

I honestly believe that people who have no experience with the process of having their child evaluated for or diagnosed with delays have no business criticizing the way the Maasses present the information. If you haven't been through it (or anything even remotely close to it), you simply do not understand. You cannot possibly understand. I have a daughter who has been evaluated multiple times, though never formally diagnosed. (Ultimately she'll almost certainly be placed somewhere "on the spectrum," though it does not so far meet clear criteria for any particular diagnosis.) This has been a source of the most intense and drawn out pain of my entire life by a wide margin. My reaction to this challenge is not rational or logical, and it is not my choice--it is like a primal, biological thing born from the attachment I have for her as well as my own emotional/mental shortcomings. My reaction is nothing like the reaction I would have deemed appropriate when I lacked first-hand experience. If anybody wanted to criticize the way I choose to share information about her, I honestly would tell them to go screw themselves. If my daughter ever receives a diagnosis, I will share it in exactly the way I feel is best for her.

Personally I think the absence of regular references to IDD is nothing more than the product of the Maasses finding the topic painful and potentially being in denial, wanting to believe that there is more to Abbie than can be categorized with tests. These explanations reflect perfectly normal and healthy parenting (whether it's ultimately imperfect or not, helpful for the public or not.)

In case some of you are not aware, it is not unprecedented that a person might be viewed as hopelessly impaired only for it to later be discovered that the person was merely imparied in ways which prevented them from making their full potential immediately and clearly obvious. The movie My Left Foot shows this extremely well.

I have respect for what you're saying.
However! If the reason they do not discuss the IDD is because it is too painful for them...
then they have zero business putting out a vlog and making themselves public..

and simply mentioning autism. With an occasional pica thrown in.

 

[KateK]

I am not sure that Abbies laugh is actually a real laugh. It often seems like it is a sign of insecurity or distress and dumbfucks 1 to 4 (including Summer) are just hearing it and are thinking "it sounds like a laugh, she must be happy". It is like when people are holding young monkeys and the monkeys are showing their teeth. The majority thinks that this is a smile, but it is actually a sign of fear (google fear grimace)

Going by what I see in the videos (could be totally biased and wrong of course), the laughing often occurs when Abbie is backing away or pushing someone. It happened in the last vlog when she was pushing Piggy.

I've always wondered what her laughing actually means. I think Summer and Isaiah wrestle with her and tickle her because they think she likes it and they feel like they are interacting with her in some way... so Summer can appear to be her "bestie". There is just something off with that girl. I notice that Abbie doesn't like to lift her arms and keeps them at her side.. I wonder if this is to avoid them tickling her? Tickling can also be cruel... I hate being tickled.

Asshat says Abbie is a "happy" girl... how does he know this? I know she bites her arm, hits herself, has meltdowns, has a hard time communicating except her few signs for food.. and always hungry, still wears diapers....

Summer has a new video where they are making cookies and giving them to people. Why oh why do they insist on cooking with Abbie? Its mostly her putting her hands in the dough and ingredients and trying to eat them. Its probably frustrating for her as really she doesn't want to cook.. she wants to play with it and eat it.

 

[Broken puzzle]

I know. I've read all the threads and I agree. Abbie would not be able to complete even a nonverbal intelligence test. I don't know, how much worse her parents have made it with their behaviour though. I do think that Abbie is smarter than some people here give her credit for. In my opinion she has just given up to effectively communicate as their reaction is often unprdictable.

I focused on autism, because this is still the narrative that the channel pushes. I tried not to comment on Abbies behavior that much, it was more about A using autism and his stupid conclusions based on that. He wanted to look good and knowledgable, when he just isn't (and can't be bothered to learn). And I absolutely hate that he uses everything Abbie does as "Autism-am-I-right?"



It always takes time to come to terms about diasabilities. All of them (speaking from experience here as I have another acquired disability). It is basically a grieving process for everyone involved. I constantly talk to parents who try to come to terms with a diagnosis and you are right, the reactions aren't necessarily rational. Anger, resentment, guilt, relief - I've seen it all (and I began to work there less than than three years ago) And that is perfectly fine. As long as there is some development.
The thing with the Maasses is their dishonesty. They pretend that they are at peace with who Abbie is and that it is all sunshine and unicorns when they are not. They never worked through their issues, it is just pushed aside. Ultimately at Abbies cost.
Also, they can't openly talk about the whole scope of their daughterss diasbilities, but they can open an entire Youtube channel and talk about that one aspect they find acceptable. And not only that, but they pretend to be some kind of experts or spokespeople and Abbie to be the 'poster girl' for autism. That is just bullshit.

S.O.S., What do you think about her language learning capabilities as far as I know the essentials of language are formed by the age of three. ( I have a phenomenally deaf nephew, and son has audio / language issues we worked on early. Now my grandson is language delayed too. Hes only 2 1\2, and has just started talking and has speech pathology appts for now ) Anyway, since Abb is out of this window, can she even accrue a two word semi sentence like, hungry now? Wet would be a good word for her btw. Lots of wet around her.

 

[stampcollector]

Something dawned on me this week that has me giggling when I think about it. Since it's pretty much guaranteed that Cilla will win every prize given out by Limelife (ie Peloton bike) because of all her "lipstick mamas" filling in the bottom of her pyramid, I'm 99% sure that Limelife picked that prize out for her knowing she'd win with the hopes she could lose weight and represent the brand better. I can't wait to see what she wins next! Long sleeve Spanx?

 

[Flubberyzing]

Hi!
I'm new.

I've been watching Fathering Autism for 2 years or more now. Ever since they did that episode of 'Special Books For Special Kids'.

I have thoughts:

- Abbie's progress has completely stalled. Honestly, I haven't seen her achieve anything "new" in probably the whole 2 years. If anything, she's gone backwards. She used to do some things like unpack groceries, unload the dishwasher, vacuum. I haven't seen her do any of those in months.
- Why is Asa so obsessed with Abbie learning her colours? It seems like they've been working on the same 3 for months and months. Some days she can do, other days she hasn't got a clue. Why are they continuing to bash away at this skill? I can think of at least 10 that would be of far more benefit to Abbie than knowing 3 colours.
- Abbie's entirely random signing. They say they want her to be able to communicate with the outside world and "we know what her signs mean", yet there is very little effort to correct her constant wrong usage. She signs "bathroom" constantly? For attention? Call her bluff and take her to the bathroom, MAKE her sit on the toilet. "That's not what you wanted? Then sign correctly". It's a bad habit they've allowed to escalate. "She uses bathroom to get out of stuff"? So what? She'll quickly realise that sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes is a hell of a lot more boring than whatever 30 second task she was asked to complete. Yes, she's intellectually delayed, but she's not stupid. She'll learn. Might take longer than the average kid, but she'll learn.
- Abbie's diet... She's getting chubbier by the month, but used to be very slim. I get that all teenage girls get a bit chubby at times, but it's linked to hormones usually, and I thought Abbie was on some sort of puberty/period delaying drugs? But then you look at what she's actually eating... Large bowl of sugary cereal, a doughnut "every day", multiple snacks, large meals. To be honest, she's probably reached her adult height. She doesn't need the "feeding up" you would give to a pre-teen. She needs the maintenance diet appropriate for a young woman.
- The rest of the family's diet. Asa is also getting fatter by the month. Pres doesn't seem to have lost any weight in months. Isaiah isn't getting any slimmer, and even Summer is filling out... And those tiny shorts Summer wears constantly... I just wanna be like "put your vag away Sum!"
- The stims. Honestly, that yelling stim would drive me absolutely bat-tit. I know you're not supposed to subdue stims, but I'm sorry, that one would have to go. It is so incredibly invasive on everyone else in the home. I don't think anyone on earth would complain or condemn them if they used ABA to see that one off.