Ah yes King Asshat's Guide for American Families:
* cheat
* neglect to support lovechild
* act superior to everyone including family and offspring, demean the them regularly
* buy excessive everything, big boy toys, food, coffee, all the things
* always remember you know more than every human who ever graced this earth, be sure to remind everyone you meet of this. Daily. If not Hourly.
* pretend you care about your health and future, but waste all money on short term gain and only pretend to exercise and eat right for an hour or two at a time
what other wisdom can Sir Maass preach?