Fathering Autism #25 MLM scams, gluttony & greed. More people to fool is what we need

[GrabPOPCORNnotPretzels]

Finally watched the vlog & I agree w/ the others who have more compassionate posts, that was a heavy vlog & a much needed one.

I hate feeling like Abbie is such a manipulative menace though & really wish there were better ways to deal with her that didn’t involve upping her meds or hiring a bouncer. (In case that’s not a Brit term, they work the door at bars, ID’ing ppl, keeping the peace & are usually huge muscular men).

I didn’t see Priss as overly bitter, she just showed more frustration maybe? Asa was def sad.

What’s this from a newbie about not seeing Lauren? I don’t think any of their vlogsquad has changed. It’s just the quarantine.

I would’ve taken Abbie’s hair out of the rubberbands before bed. It gave me the impression they were done. But if she’s going to fight over it & get all amped up before bed, then battles have to be chosen.

Yes this is their child, but I wish there were better resources for the homeschooling these highly demanding kids during this time. Becca needs to come in at least 2-3 days/wk. Not having Summer or Isaiah may have thrown Ab for a loop. But they say the aggression is daily anyway. Rambling, but public school system can only do so much & I was just saying to my husband today that if things continue, we can’t get into phase 2 (then no grad, etc), then we have to remember that teaching children really falls on a more primative level. Sow the fields type of learning. I’m teaching gardening as much as I can to my kids. My youngest is also loving the flower propagation on Animal Crossing (haha).

Anyway, Ab looked confused when they talked about her not wanting the 1st restaurant. I almost sensed that she did want it? I deal with anxiety & I’m wondering if in those times when she gets like that if they could just stop the vehicle & medicate her? I don’t take a Xanax anymore, but I could see where Abbie needs lifelong Benzo treatment?

Btw, I came across a vlog on anx/dep lately & the person said that when they took Seroquel (sp?) that their head felt heavy! Makes ya wonder if this happens to Ab!

 

[SunnyDale]

I'm late to the party...however, OMG, I said front butt out loud when I saw that pic of her!!!! Some of us do think so much alike!!!

Me too but I guess some could say it's a very long Camel Toe.

 

[GrabPOPCORNnotPretzels]

i do feel bad for them because life with Abbie is never going to get easier. and it sucks for all of them that this is life from now on.

i have to know...what does your name mean? lol

 

[Take no prisoners]

Wow, Ass described Abbie's disability by putting developmental delay before autism. I am shocked! Has he finally seen the light? He looks like he is ready to have a break down. That damn asshat sure knows how to make me feel sorry for his sad ass. Then you got Pigcilla who looks like she just wants to run like hell. And Summer is gone for two weeks? It's gonna be the Abbie tit show. literally and figuratively

 

[alotdizzy]

Finally watched the vlog & I agree w/ the others who have more compassionate posts, that was a heavy vlog & a much needed one.

I hate feeling like Abbie is such a manipulative menace though & really wish there were better ways to deal with her that didn’t involve upping her meds or hiring a bouncer. (In case that’s not a Brit term, they work the door at bars, ID’ing ppl, keeping the peace & are usually huge muscular men).

I didn’t see Priss as overly bitter, she just showed more frustration maybe? Asa was def sad.

I definitely agree with almost every point you made. I don't believe Abbie has the capacity to understand discipline on that level. I think she can probably understand patterns of situations when they happen daily even if she doesn't understand the reasoning what she's doing - things like washing her hands, brushing her teeth, etc. With a lot of discipline on the part of her caregivers she can underestand those routines and understand that she has to do them.

But going out to restaurants are never going to be the exact same process over time, plus she's being taken out of an area she's comfortable in and familiar with (home) and being taken to somewhere new. If she's in a chill mood and open to new things it seems okay; when she's not, it's not. I agree with what you said about being thrown by Summer and Isaiah being gone and also by whatever user said that being taken to restaurants twice in one day after weeks of almost total isolation may have just been overstimulating.

I won't begin to act like any kind of authority on autism or IDD but it just seems like their (particularly Priscilla's) expectations of her to be seen and not heard when she's already having a hard time are pretty unreasonable. They have a special needs child. Her acting out is part of her special need. It's the only capacity to which she can communicate. I struggle to attach maliciousness or any kind of deeper motive like manipulation or even brattiness to her behavior. I wish they could find some better ways to cope with her too, ones that don't make their lives miserable but also don't make Abbie miserable either.

 

[Pink Marshmallow]

Btw, I came across a vlog on anx/dep lately & the person said that when they took Seroquel (sp?) that their head felt heavy! Makes ya wonder if this happens to Ab!

I take Seroquel, also. It does have a tranquilizing effect and I'm sure it affects Abbie at times. Altho, she does still have her high energy moments and her 'power hour'. It can also depend if she's taking the extended release form of it or the quick-acting kind. I take both.

 

[GrabPOPCORNnotPretzels]

He made such a production about her I pad in her book bag and putting it in the trunk!
Did their lazy asses with their 'typical teenager' take it into the restaurant patio with them?
I'll bet hell no.
I do not feel bad for them at all.
They raised her to be violent.
She's been attacking for many many years.
It's their own doing.
The public school professionals said Abbie is unreachable.
They were right and the way she is at age 15 with no improvements just regression, is additional proof.
IMO.

When he was sitting in the back of the buggy car w/ her I wished he had brought out her ipad to see if she would communicate anything of relevance. I have a feeling though that in times of calmness to times of distress, that she’s just still hitting the random buttons of nature valley bar, etc. Poor girl just doesn’t understand communication. All her wires are crossed. Therefore, outings in public aren’t desensitizing her, they are quite possibly progressively make her worse. I guess they needed to just go home when she said no to the 1st place. She might eventually LEARN that they aren’t going to play hopscotch with her anxiety. However, for NT, anxiety is a beast. There’s no reasoning if there’s IDD + autism involved. The only answers for her is a rigid schedule, which goes against A&P lifestyle. Heck, Asa sounded unusually chill throughout the entire vlog. Either a xanax for himself or a drink perhaps? Don’t blame him!

 

[Pink Marshmallow]

I've been going back threw some of P's old lipstick moo moo videos and found this older vlog. I found it a bit disturbing. P and summer are in the bathroom with Abbie attempting to do skin care on Abbie. Abbie initially didn't want to be there. They didn't start out slowly or let her leave when she shows signs of not wanting to do it. Instead, you will see summer hold her arms down, albeit subtle, but she does. At one point P puts her arm around Abbies neck to wipe off some cream, and basically has her in a head lock. At the end of the vlog P is seen wiping her face and pinching Abbies nose, apparently hard enough to cause her nose to bleed. Screen shots and video below.

I find this quite disturbing as well. It shows just how selfish and thoughtless they can be when it comes to dealing with Abbie. They want her to participate because it's a girly 'typical teenager' thing to do. When she starts fussing, they respond as if she's being lazy or bratty and literally force her into doing it. I wouldn't doubt if they would say they handle her this way to get her out of her comfort zone and expose her to something she doesn't initially want to do and that she'll end up enjoying it. In the vlog w. the inflatable waterslide, Asa & Summer are talking about Abbie not initiating an activity that she ends up enjoying, that she struggles with it, Asa says: "I don't know why she does that." to which Summer responds "Yeah, when you were trying to get her on there and we're like 'We've never ever put you through anything that traumatic."... Asa responds "We've never never hurt you before. Why would you...." Summer finishes off "Not trust us."

Hmmmm... damn, Asa & Summer. I just can't figure it out either! I don't know why on earth Abbie has issues when it comes to things like this! Total mystery!

 

[Noir Fan]

I was surprised when Asa said she was grabbing him by the shirt during her homeschool classes. The way he has edited the vlogs, he has given the impression that most of the time it goes smoothly. Maybe it’s time he stops spending copious amounts of money on “things” like bikes, weight loss surgery and $15k golf carts and start spending on a full-time professional caregiver for Abbie. Someone very experienced in her needs and abilities. Just an idea.

 

[Pink Marshmallow]

She shows more maternal instincts to Summer IMO.
I think P is very much the old adage of
"I have to love you but I don't have to like you" due to everything you stated

Definitely. P really does not like Abbie. Despite what she may say - again - her actions speak much more loudly than her words when she's talking about how patient and understanding she is with Abbie. She always sounds like she's trying to convince herself of those things rather than it being how she genuinely feels. P's feelings come across in her facial expressions, her body language, her reactions. It is pretty apparent that she finds Abbie frustrating, disappointing, annoying, discouraging, most of the time. The times when she speaks nicely to Abbie, it just seems so forced, unnatural and fake. Like she's putting on a show for the vlog so she can look like a more caring and loving Mom than she actually is.

 

[lovesis]

I definitely agree with almost every point you made. I don't believe Abbie has the capacity to understand discipline on that level. I think she can probably understand patterns of situations when they happen daily even if she doesn't understand the reasoning what she's doing - things like washing her hands, brushing her teeth, etc. With a lot of discipline on the part of her caregivers she can underestand those routines and understand that she has to do them.

But going out to restaurants are never going to be the exact same process over time, plus she's being taken out of an area she's comfortable in and familiar with (home) and being taken to somewhere new. If she's in a chill mood and open to new things it seems okay; when she's not, it's not. I agree with what you said about being thrown by Summer and Isaiah being gone and also by whatever user said that being taken to restaurants twice in one day after weeks of almost total isolation may have just been overstimulating.

I won't begin to act like any kind of authority on autism or IDD but it just seems like their (particularly Priscilla's) expectations of her to be seen and not heard when she's already having a hard time are pretty unreasonable. They have a special needs child. Her acting out is part of her special need. It's the only capacity to which she can communicate. I struggle to attach maliciousness or any kind of deeper motive like manipulation or even brattiness to her behavior. I wish they could find some better ways to cope with her too, ones that don't make their lives miserable but also don't make Abbie miserable either.

Where is Isiaiah I skipped through the vlog?

 

[alotdizzy]

Where is Isiaiah I skipped through the vlog?

He was out photographing a wedding ('socially distanced' wedding, one of them made sure to specify). I don't think they specified how long he'd be gone for so I assume just like a one day thing. But it means A&P had Abbie alone most of the day.

 

[ImNosy]

I definitely agree with almost every point you made. I don't believe Abbie has the capacity to understand discipline on that level. I think she can probably understand patterns of situations when they happen daily even if she doesn't understand the reasoning what she's doing - things like washing her hands, brushing her teeth, etc. With a lot of discipline on the part of her caregivers she can underestand those routines and understand that she has to do them.

But going out to restaurants are never going to be the exact same process over time, plus she's being taken out of an area she's comfortable in and familiar with (home) and being taken to somewhere new. If she's in a chill mood and open to new things it seems okay; when she's not, it's not. I agree with what you said about being thrown by Summer and Isaiah being gone and also by whatever user said that being taken to restaurants twice in one day after weeks of almost total isolation may have just been overstimulating.

I won't begin to act like any kind of authority on autism or IDD but it just seems like their (particularly Priscilla's) expectations of her to be seen and not heard when she's already having a hard time are pretty unreasonable. They have a special needs child. Her acting out is part of her special need. It's the only capacity to which she can communicate. I struggle to attach maliciousness or any kind of deeper motive like manipulation or even brattiness to her behavior. I wish they could find some better ways to cope with her too, ones that don't make their lives miserable but also don't make Abbie miserable either.

You haven’t seen the Evil AB face!??

 

[Pink Marshmallow]

She hates being body blocked in somewhere. Assa loves to do it too, and she hates it. They do it to keep her from eloping. You know...that thing teenagers do.

Thats a great point! And feeling crowded would only make her want to elope even more.

I think it does overwhelm her and then that makes it very difficult for her to listen to what they're saying and try to go along with it. The more she fusses, the more they do it, which causes her to fuss even more.
To be clear, there are certain situations where it's necessary to grab her, if she's in danger of hurting herself or others. But other times, no.

 

[Whimsical]

I felt like she was holding a lot back.
She's such a witch.
IMO.

ASSa was close to defeat, something we rarely see.

was pissed. She pointed and waved her finger at Abbie twice while saying no listening to music as her punishment. I know that finger point/wave, we have all had it done to us (I'm guessing most have) and I have done that as a parent, and it is very telling.

For myself, that finger point/wave was like a last resort, and I really only had to use it a few times over the years to get my point across.

With Abbie's aggressive behavior being a daily occurrence, I'm sure 's finger is waving/pointing constantly.

 

[Pink Marshmallow]

I just finished today's vlog and it really drove home to me that for all his (many) flaws Asa seems to have a lot more genuine understanding of and compassion for Abbie's limitations than Priscilla does. Priscilla was absolutely using no music on the drive home as a flat out punishment because Abbie acted out and pissed Queen P off. Her saying Abbie "needs to communicate" made me see read - do you bleeping think that girl wouldn't say 'yo, I don't want to be here, take me home' if she could? At least Asa acknowledged that Abbie's delays and autism mean she can't communicate the typical way. She has to use the tools in her arsenal to make her bone headed parents realize that they are putting her in a situation she does not to be in, and gets frustrated when they don't listen to her. Priscilla, if you're so hell bent on her being a typical teenager girl, then listen to her when she's trying to express herself. Sometimes teenagers just don't wanna be with their parents.

Out of the two of them, yes, Asa does tend to get it more than P does. Which makes it that much more frustrating when he does things that go against what would be a better way of dealing with Abbie because he's more concerned with things happening in the way he wants them to and in the time he wants them to. He knows better than to deal with her in that way, but does it anyway.
It frustrates me when they talk about Abbie's ability to communicate. Yes, a big part of it is her autism and IDD (kudos to Asa for acknowledging it for once). The other part of it is that she has only been taught a limited amount of signs and has a limited amount of options on her tablet for communication. Asa said earlier in the vlog that Abbie will choose a certain food option on her tablet when she really means another kind of food and just uses that option on the tablet as like a catchall for when she wants a variety of foods. Then P bringing up that Abbie needs to communicate more. Abbie can only communicate what she has been taught - which isn't much. They act like she knows more signs etc than she does. If you want her to communicate more or communicate better - teach her. Then you also have the fact that when she does try to communicate that she's having a hard time by signing break or bathroom - they dismiss it or ignore it.

 

[Sweetums]

Her meltdown happened at the second restaurant they had been to that day. They went Mexican for lunch and then...wherever they were for dinner was where the event went down. lol

What is up with Summer rubbing her nose like constantly? She could not keep stop doing it when she was standing in the living room. Are there allergies all that bad? I wonder if there is mold in the house?

Thummer was crying because she was saying good bye to them so I guess her nose was running.

 

[Jamiebeth]

I was surprised when Asa said she was grabbing him by the shirt during her homeschool classes. The way he has edited the vlogs, he has given the impression that most of the time it goes smoothly. Maybe it’s time he stops spending copious amounts of money on “things” like bikes, weight loss surgery and $15k golf carts and start spending on a full-time professional caregiver for Abbie. Someone very experienced in her needs and abilities. Just an idea.

That really explains the expression on his face during school time with her, I noticed he always looks so serious and stressed..def not his arrogant self

 

[therealamylynn]

Cilla's bag is the Coach Dreamer. Retail $650.00 sale at $325.00.

 

[Pink Marshmallow]

When Asa said that they don't always show the bad parts with Abbie because they don't want to show her in a negative light. I get that. I'm not saying that they should always show each and every bad part. But it ought to be more of a balance between good and bad not only because that's just more realistic, but it's misleading to only show when she succeeds because it makes it seem like she's progressing more than she is and that life with her is a lot easier than it is. Why do I bring that up? Because the supposed goal of the vlog is to bring awareness and to show what life is like with a severely autistic (and IDD) child.