Fathering Autism #25 MLM scams, gluttony & greed. More people to fool is what we need

[WoahThatsCrazy]

When he was sitting in the back of the buggy car w/ her I wished he had brought out her ipad to see if she would communicate anything of relevance. I have a feeling though that in times of calmness to times of distress, that she’s just still hitting the random buttons of nature valley bar, etc. Poor girl just doesn’t understand communication. All her wires are crossed. Therefore, outings in public aren’t desensitizing her, they are quite possibly progressively make her worse. I guess they needed to just go home when she said no to the 1st place. She might eventually LEARN that they aren’t going to play hopscotch with her anxiety. However, for NT, anxiety is a beast. There’s no reasoning if there’s IDD + autism involved. The only answers for her is a rigid schedule, which goes against A&P lifestyle. Heck, Asa sounded unusually chill throughout the entire vlog. Either a xanax for himself or a drink perhaps? Don’t blame him!

Oooh yeah! I totally agree with this post, I do like your posts here! Autism and anxiety are often co morbid conditions, as autistic people often like to have routines, and for me personally, I like to be prepared to know what's going to happen, what the place is going to be like, etc so that I can prepare for potential sensory overload, so that I can think of calming methods/stims to help soothe me to do in advance and so that my family/friends will be able to understand in advance why I might shut down or want to walk around outside, etc So even though NT people can have sensory issues etc, and anxiety, ND/autistic people are much more likely, and I suspect non verbal ones even more too, as they would struggle even more to communicate their needs, and their 'violent' behaviours are just a result of their desperation and pain imo

 

[BloodyMermaid]

Cilla's bag is the Coach Dreamer. Retail $650.00 sale at $325.00.

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You can find it a lot cheaper because it’s a 2018 bag.

 

[Justcheckingin]

Not mine...I reckon they were helions sent to be the worst toddlers on the planet. Here would be our scenario:

2 year old is sick, sleeps in, gets up still not feeling well. I start to get her breakfast, doorbell rings and I along with everyone else that was in the kitchen runs to the door and stand there 4 minutes (they said she sang for 4 full minutes). 2 year old is left sitting alone in the kitchen without breakfast or anyone. She would 100% cry.

I praise all of you parents here that were able to control your toddlers to the point of understanding such things especially if they are not feeling well. Your kids are the best ever!!!! And you win Parent of the Century Award! Kudos to y'all and you should write a parenting book.

Why thank you! I accept that award graciously!

What about someone helping Abbie? You skipped berating me on that? She is the money maker in the family so she should at least have been in the plan so she wasn’t left alone while they all ran away from her(because that’s all she knew was that everyone left her).

 

[Lumoss]

ASSa was close to defeat, something we rarely see.

was pissed. She pointed and waved her finger at Abbie twice while saying no listening to music as her punishment. I know that finger point/wave, we have all had it done to us (I'm guessing most have) and I have done that as a parent, and it is very telling.

For myself, that finger point/wave was like a last resort, and I really only had to use it a few times over the years to get my point across.

With Abbie's aggressive behavior being a daily occurrence, I'm sure 's finger is waving/pointing constantly.


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that point wave came before a smack and a yell growing up for me

 

[Justcheckingin]

ya gotta love Summer aggressively itching her nose and then proceeding to hug everyone goodbye.

Her and P were doing it at the same time. Hopefully Summer drops that bad habit once she’s gone!

 

[Eline97vi]

Interesting vlog today. Honestly: I do feel bad for them sometimes. I would absolutely go nuts if I would have to deal with this until my death. As a parent you want your children to become an independent adult. They are never going to experience that. They will literally be stuck with a child for ever. A child in a female body with a lot of aggression. Damn I would literally go nuts.

I even recognise the passive aggression reaction from Cilla. I would probably be the same. Being attacked by someone triggers something deep down you. I worked with non verbal autistic children and got attacked often. Biting, hitting, kicking.. I would of course never hurt one of the children but I always felt so devastated, lost, inferior and hurt when a child would attack me physically. It triggers something.

 

[Jamiebeth]

Interesting vlog today. Honestly: I do feel bad for them sometimes. I would absolutely go nuts if I would have to deal with this until my death. As a parent you want your children to become an independent adult. They are never going to experience that. They will literally be stuck with a child for ever. A child in a female body with a lot of aggression. Damn I would literally go nuts.

I even recognise the passive aggression reaction from Cilla. I would probably be the same. Being attacked by someone triggers something deep down you. I worked with non verbal autistic children and got attacked often. Biting, hitting, kicking.. I would of course never hurt one of the children but I always felt so devastated, lost, inferior and hurt when a child would attack me physically. It triggers something.

This question is for everyone, I’m assuming they attack out of frustration, but why pulling hair, kicking, pinching...where do they learn that behavior? Children are born innocent, even challenged how do they learn acting out in attacking? I know one guy ( coworker) my age, and he’s on the spectrum ( he used to get a really tall glass of milk and chug it without stopping just like Abbie) but he’s smart, he plays poker, successfully saved a lot of money and has lots of friends, we love him...he’s the exact opposite of violent, but my point is how do u pull someone’s hair in anger at 5,6 years old? I started watching FA bc I’m intrigued, and to be honest I can’t tell who is autisic in this group unless they say so...Abbie is so complex, she’s a very disturbed you lady, and will her mental age get older as she does? Even if it’s just alittle older then her current autistic age

 

[Kermy]

Cilla's bag is the Coach Dreamer. Retail $650.00 sale at $325.00.

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Good catch on the snakeskin detail.. I couldn't get a clear view lol
That's why I said $295

 

[Elsie]

I'm surprised Abbie didn't just start eating the box of cereal.. she had it in her hands when the door rings. She was waiting for someone to pour it in a bowl.

Exactly. She was waiting to be served.
And i'm wondering why she didn't follow them when the door bell rang. She's not deaf and must have heard the singing and laugjter.
She grabbed herself a bowl many times before and was able to fill the bowl independently.
I can see no drama here.

 

[Pink Marshmallow]

This question is for everyone, I’m assuming they attack out of frustration, but why pulling hair, kicking, pinching...where do they learn that behavior? Children are born innocent, even challenged how do they learn acting out in attacking? I know one guy ( coworker) my age, and he’s on the spectrum ( he used to get a really tall glass of milk and chug it without stopping just like Abbie) but he’s smart, he plays poker, successfully saved a lot of money and has lots of friends, we love him...he’s the exact opposite of violent, but my point is how do u pull someone’s hair in anger at 5,6 years old? I started watching FA bc I’m intrigued, and to be honest I can’t tell who is autisic in this group unless they say so...Abbie is so complex, she’s a very disturbed you lady, and will her mental age get older as she does? Even if it’s just alittle older then her current autistic age

One place that comes to mind is school. Abbie may very likely have witnessed other students being physically aggressive. Could have been when she was at public school. She probably has witnessed it somewhat regularly at JSA. Another guess might be from Isaiah. When kids are young, they can sometimes be more physical when arguing with each other. I don't think it's very likely, considering Isaiah's personality... but you never know what things were like when they were younger.

I'm not sure that Abbie will ever age mentally. Unless there are some major changes in her life as far as care and education. If she does, I think it will be like you said, just slightly older than she is now. Those are just my theories.

 

[lovesis]

One place that comes to mind is school. Abbie may very likely have witnessed other students being physically aggressive. Could have been when she was at public school. She probably has witnessed it somewhat regularly at JSA. Another guess might be from Isaiah. When kids are young, they can sometimes be more physical when arguing with each other. I don't think it's very likely, considering Isaiah's personality... but you never know what things were like when they were younger.

I'm not sure that Abbie will ever age mentally. Unless there are some major changes in her life as far as care and education. If she does, I think it will be like you said, just slightly older than she is now. Those are just my theories.

In one of the vlogs Isaiah was grabbing her. Yes it seemed to be in an sibling roughhousing way, but he clearly was squeezing her arm.

 

[Bawlmer]

Finally watched the vlog & I agree w/ the others who have more compassionate posts, that was a heavy vlog & a much needed one.

I hate feeling like Abbie is such a manipulative menace though & really wish there were better ways to deal with her that didn’t involve upping her meds or hiring a bouncer. (In case that’s not a Brit term, they work the door at bars, ID’ing ppl, keeping the peace & are usually huge muscular men).

I didn’t see Priss as overly bitter, she just showed more frustration maybe? Asa was def sad.

What’s this from a newbie about not seeing Lauren? I don’t think any of their vlogsquad has changed. It’s just the quarantine.

I would’ve taken Abbie’s hair out of the rubberbands before bed. It gave me the impression they were done. But if she’s going to fight over it & get all amped up before bed, then battles have to be chosen.

Yes this is their child, but I wish there were better resources for the homeschooling these highly demanding kids during this time. Becca needs to come in at least 2-3 days/wk. Not having Summer or Isaiah may have thrown Ab for a loop. But they say the aggression is daily anyway. Rambling, but public school system can only do so much & I was just saying to my husband today that if things continue, we can’t get into phase 2 (then no grad, etc), then we have to remember that teaching children really falls on a more primative level. Sow the fields type of learning. I’m teaching gardening as much as I can to my kids. My youngest is also loving the flower propagation on Animal Crossing (haha).

Anyway, Ab looked confused when they talked about her not wanting the 1st restaurant. I almost sensed that she did want it? I deal with anxiety & I’m wondering if in those times when she gets like that if they could just stop the vehicle & medicate her? I don’t take a Xanax anymore, but I could see where Abbie needs lifelong Benzo treatment?

Btw, I came across a vlog on anx/dep lately & the person said that when they took Seroquel (sp?) that their head felt heavy! Makes ya wonder if this happens to Ab!

I should have emphasized — before the quarantine, I felt a shift of people moving away from them — or maybe they are deciding not to include them? I.e., No face time vlogs with the Brazees which would be like the casts of two tv shows appearing on each other’s shows — after all the we are bffs. They’ve moved to no mention...on all sides...

 

[GrabPOPCORNnotPretzels]

Bawlmer....Ab wears the Brazee shirt a lot, but that’s about it. Asa has mentioned a cpl unrelatedly channels. I really don’t think anything has changed. Everyone is just quarantined (some aren’t really anymore, like the M’s) & trying to survive. Some have daily pool parties. Y’know, it’s the YT lotto. So gross.

Regarding why Abbie couldn’t help herself...no one will ever know. She was cranky from sinuses & had just woken up. As I said before, it was poor planning on their part. She could’ve had her senses triggered by the clown at the door & also she forever waits to be prompted. Too bad there wasn’t a cake to get into.

 

[Elsie]

Anyone else think the one in the upper right corner might be a man?

P's rocking that new hot bod.

I'm ashamed to say it, but it's looking like a HUGE cameltoe!
Mrs. Massive, please wear long tops! She's looking like a member of an old fashioned freak show.
And where are her knees?

 

[Hibiscus]

This question is for everyone, I’m assuming they attack out of frustration, but why pulling hair, kicking, pinching...where do they learn that behavior? Children are born innocent, even challenged how do they learn acting out in attacking? I know one guy ( coworker) my age, and he’s on the spectrum ( he used to get a really tall glass of milk and chug it without stopping just like Abbie) but he’s smart, he plays poker, successfully saved a lot of money and has lots of friends, we love him...he’s the exact opposite of violent, but my point is how do u pull someone’s hair in anger at 5,6 years old?

I don't really believe this behavior is learned, I think it is instinctual. What most of us "learn" is not to do such things. It doesn't have anything to do with "innocence," because very young children are of course innocent but their behavior is sometimes heinous (because they lack empathy and the experiences which develop it--and I think empathy is a huge thing which Abbie lacks, maybe completely). Acting out is normal behavior for small children, so I would expect it from older children or adults who have issues that hamper their ability to be mature. The ability to dial back an emotional response and consciously dictate your own actions in a way that is in accordance with societal norms and expectations is something I've seen a lot of even "normal" people struggle with into their 20s (and sometimes for life.)

My daughter is five, and there is a lot of stuff she does which we in no way taught her (for example running around the house naked) and there are many things we've desperately tried to teach her which has had no effect. My daughter does not pinch or pull hair because if she has ever done so we've been able to communicate with her that it's unacceptable and she understood it (I think the concept of "unacceptable" is something that Abbie cannot understand properly). She does kick some times (not like front kicking like soccer, but sort of clubbing us with her heels if she's laying down next to us), and sometimes she persists in doing this despite our attempts to tell her to stop. I've certainly never clubbed her with my heels in such a way, and I've also never picked my nose and ate my boogers, but she went through a phase where she found it hilarious to upset me by doing so.

I think even neurotypical teens struggle with complying with their parents' requests and repressing impulses. When I look back at myself as a teen, I remember an occasional irrepressible urge to do exactly the things that were going to upset my parents. From what I see I feel like Abbie lacks a great deal of "permanence" when it comes to lessons and learning--nothing sticks. To some extent nobody can get through to her about certain lessons because of whatever it is that causes her symptoms. She will never remember not to get aggressive in public because the communication which works on "normal" people (stern words, an angry parent in your face, threats, basically being shamed in public) does not make a strong impression with her because she doesn't actually understand the unspoken meaning and importance of such things (or because neurologically her brain does not store memories and associations the way it does with other people.)

 

[Pink Marshmallow]

From what I see I feel like Abbie lacks a great deal of "permanence" when it comes to lessons and learning--nothing sticks. To some extent nobody can get through to her about certain lessons because of whatever it is that causes her symptoms. She will never remember not to get aggressive in public because the communication which works on "normal" people (stern words, an angry parent in your face, threats, basically being shamed in public) does not make a strong impression with her because she doesn't actually understand the unspoken meaning and importance of such things (or because neurologically her brain does not store memories and associations the way it does with other people.)

But Abbie has no trouble remembering things that she likes or enjoys. She knows the sign for bath, she knows what's involved in taking one - she remembers, she often asks for one because she enjoys it. If you tell her to go to the pantry (where her snacks are), she'd know exactly what you mean and what's behind the door. When Asa put her in the golf cart, she immediately signed 'candy' because she's often taken to go get a treat when she goes in the golf cart.
She does have the ability to retain knowledge, memories, and associations. IMO.

 

[Maidengirl]

 

[Gambit]

[

But Abbie has no trouble remembering things that she likes or enjoys. She knows the sign for bath, she knows what's involved in taking one - she remembers, she often asks for one because she enjoys it. If you tell her to go to the pantry (where her snacks are), she'd know exactly what you mean and what's behind the door. When Asa put her in the golf cart, she immediately signed 'candy' because she's often taken to go get a treat when she goes in the golf cart.
She does have the ability to retain knowledge, memories, and associations. IMO.

Those all have very strong clear positive reinforcers. Stopping a bad behavior is harder because even the attention and physical input she receives can be seen to her as a reinforcer. Plus sometimes those behaviors are very similar or the same to having a breakdown or stimming which is something she can not control easily at all.

That would mean she is potty trained and I’m pretty sure she isn’t. She wears pull-ups at home as well.

She has been basically potty trained in the past. They could at least keep her out of pull-ups on a schedule at different times.
Just like this is the about the 4th time she’s learned her colors.

 

[Maidengirl]

 

[Mother2]

He compared Abbie to a toddler today instead of a teenager. Honestly, if this is their every day, I can't see how Abbie at some point is not going to hurt someone in public. I get that they don't want all their content to be negative, but they rarely show the true reality if that household. I feel they try to portray Abbie as some princess and that's not at all their truth.

Can I just say that I double love this comment. If I could've put more than one heart on it, I would've. This is what Ive been saying from the word go. She is going to injure someone one day, or worse. Jesus christ! I guarantee you, there are folks in their community that are scared to death of her and rightfully so. She scares the tit outta me and I'm just watching and hearing about it. Imagine if we had to be right there!