I went back to watch the relevant parts of those 2 vlogs (ughhhh) to see what jumped out at me.
First of all - in vlog 1 "Is It Really An Autism Thing?" halfway through his little speech he said, referring to the restaurant situation "It is attention-seeking behavior,
ONE HUNDRED percent!"
Then, in vlog 2 "This Changes Everything" the next day (filmed Thurs 6/29), it was compulsive behaviors!
Vlog 1: he specifically talked about Abbie pinching, refusing to leave, yanking her arm away from him, not putting her shoes on. When explaining that the restaurant issue wasn't sensory problems he said "she definitely doesn't get violent with us when she's having sensory issues." Referred to it as a confrontation.
Asa: "Abbie is very much a habitual person. She gets in these habits, she gets in these routines." "We have to break her of that routine."
"She was pinching me because she wanted to get a rise out of us."
Vlog 2: on the drive to the restaurant with Brandy for dinner, Abbie was heavily medicated (itsy bitsy spider hands when she had slept in until nearly noon, therefore not naturally tired). Brandy told Abbie she needs to practice having "nice calm hands" when eating. There was a quick b-roll shot with no sound of Abbie sandwiched between Asa & Brandy, and she picked up the napkin and started wiping at the table. He talked about moving people's cups around. Another b-roll shot - with Priscilla sprawled majestically at the table across from all of them - of Abbie bringing the napkin to her mouth, then picking up a piece of salsa/tomato with her fingers and throwing it on the floor. The pinching and grabbing are compulsive behaviors along with moving cups around and taking the paper out of the chips basket.
(as an aside, the look on Priscilla's face when Asa said "We can't just go out. We have to plan these things" about restaurant meals was hilarious)
Priscilla says it's fine for Abbie to feel compelled to wipe the table "but when it comes to things like aggression
towards people...." Until this point Asa has been framing it as aggression towards him, or sometimes aggression towards him and Priscilla - interesting.
He goes on to talk about how Abbie has to get rid of that piece of salsa or move someone's napkin or if Asa's fork is hanging off his plate she has to move it to how she wants it to be - y'know, he's calling these compulsions, and I guess in a sense they are, but on a wider scale that ties back to something he said in vlog 1: that Abbie has to have things a certain way, that she has to behave a certain way or do certain things in certain settings such as a restaurant, how she's a creature of habit. I'm watching him yammer on here and laughing because he insisted for years that Abbie thrives on chaos! Now she's a creature of habit with routines and rigid behavioral patterns?
Priscilla: "We've never dealt with this!"
Asa: "It's a relatively new thing! Well, we have seen progression in it...."
Yeah, after watching this all back again with the benefit of hindsight, I think he was leaning way too hard into the idea of Abbie wiping the table as though it was her deciding to clean things. She clearly wiped at the table purposefully at one point (and
she actually applied pressure and directed her hand, very different to what she does when they try to make her wipe down the kitchen island), she clearly picked up a piece of food off the table and got rid of it, but she was also moving silverware around and fidgeting at the same time.
Here's my new theory based on my rewatch : this whole thing is about aggression. They called Brandy in for an emergency consult because of a particularly bad violent outburst at the restaurant in vlog 1 (6/28? 6/27?), and Brandy tied the violence in to these compulsive/rigid behaviors.
What I find interesting is that Asa & Priscilla are lumping the aggression in the same category as her need to unwrap straws or move cups around or whatever. Is that what Brandy told them? Or did Asa decide on his own that aggression is just a compulsive behavior?
Because I have a very rigid child. My younger one needs things a certain way - a very specific sleeping setup with very particular items and light configurations or they literally cannot fall asleep, very specific routines and food items for outpatient hospital visits and inpatient hospital stays, a particular way that their toys must be displayed, I could go on and on. If those rigid, yet seemingly nonsensical, "rules" aren't followed, my child's anxiety spikes - and without intervention it spirals out of control.
And then my child gets violent. When we had to go to an outpatient appointment at a different hospital that didn't have a care with slices of vanilla pound cake, my child had a screaming meltdown & hurt themselves. If older child accidentally (or on purpose, because siblings can be jerks) knocks a Funko Pop off the shelf those belong on and puts it back wrong, younger child will kick and hit.
What I want to know is if Brandy outright told them that Abbie's violent behaviors are just a compulsion, or if she told them that they're a result of Asa and Priscilla not paying attention to and attempting to mitigate the anxiety she probably feels when her habits (rigid behaviors) aren't being attended to. Because that's what a normal therapist would tell them.
If Abbie needs to unwrap extra straws on the table, either let her do it or just take them off the table immediately. If she needs a certain amount of clear space around her placesetting in a restaurant, either make sure she has that space or, y'know, don't take her to restaurants where things are too far out of her control. If she's agitated because her routine is being disrupted, you don't ignore her agitation or make it worse; you stick with the routine and put in the long-term, sustained effort to adjust it if necessary.
I once said to my younger child's intervention specialist that I stay patient with kiddo's routines by imagining that my child's experience of the world may be similar to if I was being forced to do calculus problems while someone repeatedly poked me in the forehead. That sounds awful and confusing and it would really upset me. If someone kept poking me in the forehead, eventually I'd lash out and yell and hit too! Therefore, it's my job to try and keep my kid from getting poked in the proverbial forehead - what can I do to make the confusion and irritation better for them?
To me it sounds like Asa & Priscilla's handling of Abbie's habits and routines and compulsions in the moment are the
antecedent to her violent behaviors
(I went to college too, Asa.)
and I would hope Brandy, expert that she is, made them aware of that.
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Julian wouldn't want a thing to do with Asa Maass. Good lord. He's made it his life's work to actually help people with autism - something Asa can't even do for his own child.
And with the board he's got, there ain't a thing Asa could offer other than as a "what not to do" PSA.
Our team is united because each of use care more about the vision, purpose and health of the organization than they do their own personal agenda. Every single person on our team can clearly see how their personal vision and effort contributes to the overall vision and success of KultureCity.
www.kulturecity.org
I meant they cannot open their face holes without lying 
)
) As long as I can walk with my Ortho shoe - I’m doing it. She absolutely disgusts me 
