Escape into the Tea & Sympathy chat room #2

[Miscanthus]

Miscanthus - No I didn't pour a drink over him. Sorry it has been a while since my last post, it has been a difficult day and I feel really tired.
So back at the beer festival, normal service was resumed, my partner and I continued enjoying the festival. But later on, the same bloke came back to talk to my partner. I still felt aggravated about the earlier situation, so I asked him why he didn't speak to me earlier. This is something I would never have done if I had not been drinking.
The man said that he didn't hear what I said earlier on, which was nonsense because he seemed to converse with my partner easily enough. I dismissed what he said, and became more aggravated. Meanwhile his dog was hovering by my feet, so I not very politely asked him to move the dog away from me. The man wandered off a few minutes later. This is the point when I began writing my first post on this thread today, but as I was doing so, another more polite man came and chatted to both of us.
Another reason why I was so annoyed about the first man who spoke to my partner, was the fact that the man continued to ignore me. However, my partner didn't seem to notice, and carried on chatting to him. My partner is a good man, it is not in his nature to be rude to anyone. So he politely continued talking with the man.
To top it all, we had to wait half an hour, for the bus to take us back into town. The bus was right in front of us, but the driver was having his break. I felt shattered after all that, and was unable to continue with my first post.
There is a good reason why I don't often over indulge with alcohol, today was a good example of why I don't

It's not your fault or the fault of alcohol. If you can't drink at a beer festival it's very sad.
I think some people are just completely lacking in self awareness and manners. I hope you never have to see him or his dog again.
Put it out of your mind. Hopefully you are rested now.

 

[My2pWorth]

Yup. I’ve got it all saved. And thanks. X

I'm glad you met up with a friend. I know it's hard alone especially at night. I'm always happy to chat and vent on here so don't think you are alone in that respect. What you got planned for tonight, do you watch movies/TV shows? I'm ok, I try to keep busy but then end up crashing feeling exhausted. I've put my pjs on already so going to just try and relax tonight. Housework is screaming my name as I've been out all day but I'll put off what can be done tomorrow. Oh this will make you laugh, today I tried to flick a wasp away with a straw but I didn't realise the straw had juice inside. So some juice flew out and got flicked on a man sat on the next table. Well I looked up at the sky and said is it starting to rain. I was so embarrassed

 

[Chita]

I'm glad you met up with a friend. I know it's hard alone especially at night. I'm always happy to chat and vent on here so don't think you are alone in that respect. What you got planned for tonight, do you watch movies/TV shows? I'm ok, I try to keep busy but then end up crashing feeling exhausted. I've put my pjs on already so going to just try and relax tonight. Housework is screaming my name as I've been out all day but I'll put off what can be done tomorrow. Oh this will make you laugh, today I tried to flick a wasp away with a straw but I didn't realise the straw had juice inside. So some juice flew out and got flicked on a man sat on the next table. Well I looked up at the sky and said is it starting to rain. I was so embarrassed

BIB
that's a marriage proposal in some places.
You were lucky to escape.

 

[My2pWorth]

Oh heck I'd rather have a wasp sting

 

[Buddy1877]

Oh heck I'd rather have a wasp sting

My friend cancelled sadly. Spending money in hotels I don’t have trying to keep myself out the hospital. Lovely view and had a nice spa and dinner, I’ll be people watching!

 

[My2pWorth]

Why you not at home? Mind you I bet it is quite relaxing in a hotel so the change of scenery will help. Oh I do love people watching. I call it people bingo, make a mental list of a few stereotypes and see if you can spot them all. I hope Elphaba isn't staying at the same one or you will be waking up to defying hygiene

 

[Buddy1877]

Why you not at home? Mind you I bet it is quite relaxing in a hotel so the change of scenery will help. Oh I do love people watching. I call it people bingo, make a mental list of a few stereotypes and see if you can spot them all. I hope Elphaba isn't staying at the same one or you will be waking up to defying hygiene

It is calm here. Hugh Grant was here last time i was a few months ago.

Im a hotel because of agitation and intrusive thoughts, doing my best to keep safe. Still hard tho Playing keeping up appearances.

 

[My2pWorth]

If that helps then don't worry about the cost you can sort that another time. If it gets too much putting on a front just imagine you are a secret spy on a mission or a secret billionaire testing out the hotel life rating your stay. Turn it in to a game to keep your mind occupied and the thoughts at bay. I'll be checking here for you so know you aren't alone What you got planned for tomorrow?

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Jar21, Chita and Miscanthus, many thanks for your replies. I'm still brooding about things to be honest, not for long I hope because it uses up an awful lot of energy!

 

[Buddy1877]

If that helps then don't worry about the cost you can sort that another time. If it gets too much putting on a front just imagine you are a secret spy on a mission or a secret billionaire testing out the hotel life rating your stay. Turn it in to a game to keep your mind occupied and the thoughts at bay. I'll be checking here for you so know you aren't alone What you got planned for tomorrow?

Thanks bud. Hopefully speak to my CPN and see if any extra support can be given when she’s on annual leave and if well enough, going to a conference most of the week.

today just going to sit at the beach but might be a bit cold, so I’ll probably end up just getting agitated and head home at some point

 

[Miscanthus]

Jar21, Chita and Miscanthus, many thanks for your replies. I'm still brooding about things to be honest, not for long I hope because it uses up an awful lot of energy!

Probably stupid idea but are there podcasts you can listen to that might stop the thoughts? I always used to read if I was dwelling on something but these says there are great podcasts such as Headspace that can help.

 

[Chita]

Jar21, Chita and Miscanthus, many thanks for your replies. I'm still brooding about things to be honest, not for long I hope because it uses up an awful lot of energy!

You are just processing it.

Think of it as your mind going through the minutes of a meeting and typing them up ready for filing away in one of the compartments in the back of your mind.
File 'em away and move on.
---

Thanks bud. Hopefully speak to my CPN and see if any extra support can be given when she’s on annual leave and if well enough, going to a conference most of the week.

today just going to sit at the beach but might be a bit cold, so I’ll probably end up just getting agitated and head home at some point

How fab to be near a beach.
If you wrap up warm it could be nice. The fresh air will be good and maybe help you sleep.

I don't live near any beaches but when I need to send my mind to a happy place I always visualise a beach with turquoise water lapping at the shore.
I am inside a white room with open glass doors and delicate curtains blowing in a gentle, warm breeze. I am looking out at the beach and I feel the calmness come over me.

Hope you find your calm today.

 

[Buddy1877]

You are just processing it.

Think of it as your mind going through the minutes of a meeting and typing them up ready for filing away in one of the compartments in the back of your mind.
File 'em away and move on.
---



How fab to be near a beach.
If you wrap up warm it could be nice. The fresh air will be good and maybe help you sleep.

I don't live near any beaches but when I need to send my mind to a happy place I always visualise a beach with turquoise water lapping at the shore.
I am inside a white room with open glass doors and delicate curtains blowing in a gentle, warm breeze. I am looking out at the beach and I feel the calmness come over me.

Hope you find your calm today.

Oh that sounds nice. It is about 30/40 mins from home but because of how I’m feeling and the need to see someone in person, I’ve had to come home but it is never too far to just hop on a train for the afternoon and have a walk along the coast. I like the sound of the calmness.

 

[Chita]

Oh that sounds nice. It is about 30/40 mins from home but because of how I’m feeling and the need to see someone in person, I’ve had to come home but it is never too far to just hop on a train for the afternoon and have a walk along the coast. I like the sound of the calmness.

I've done that for years to calm my mind.
It's how I control the eeyore that comes and depresses me and calms the anxious worries.

I learned how to control it rather than allow it to control me.
It isn't easy but it works.
You don't know me and I dont know you from any threads I post in, so I will share a bit of me....

Back in the 90s I had a couple of life events that affected my mental health.
The first one led to anti depressants.
I weaned myself off them.
The second event was way worse.
Life changing. I was close to suicide twice during that time.
I had enough paracetamol stored up to do it.

I pulled myself back from the edge with the help of a psychologist and my own determination. I refused anti depressants that time.

My calm place in my mind was a great help and still is.
Also helping others helps me.
I'm on a downer at present because everything I do [workwise] fails.
Im sick of trying and getting nowhere but Im still here silencing that noisy mind-chimp chattering at me all the bloody time.
I just visualise the mind chimp and ram a banana in its mouth an tell it to "STFU Im dealing with it."

I will share another of my coping mechanisms....

I call it SNUP -
Serves
No
Useful
Purpose

Again, water is part if the visualisation process to calm the mind with SNUP.

Imagine a lake or pool of still water.
Imagine your troubles as pebbles. They serve no useful purpose. they are an irritant impeding your progress.
a pebble in your shoe, no good, right?
serves no useful purpose.

An anxious thought or depressing thought is a pebble

Pick a pebble from your mind and flick it gently on the water and watch the circles it creates.

At first they are wide but watch them closely and very quickly they will get smaller and disappear.
The calm surface water is restored.

You have snupped the bad thought.
Now snup all the other anxieties one at a time and watch them fade on the water until calm is restored.

It's like meditating.

It works.
I hope you try it and find your calm.

Life is fecking hard.

 

[wisebutwild]

Sorry to have to put this on here but just need to share my feelings tonight. 52 years ago today was our wedding day and the memories of my dear husband have been going through my head all day. Some days I’m OK, but not today, can’t stop the tears falling …..

 

[Miscanthus]

Sorry to have to put this on here but just need to share my feelings tonight. 52 years ago today was our wedding day and the memories of my dear husband have been going through my head all day. Some days I’m OK, but not today, can’t stop the tears falling …..

Please don't apologise...and don't try to stop the tears falling. It's a huge loss after a long and loving marriage and you need to go through this grieving process. I'm sure you have many happy memories but sometimes grief is overwhelming. Sending hugs xx

 

[Chita]

@wisebutwild oh no, I have only just seen this and the day is almost over. So sorry not to have commented earlier.

Hope you've gotten through it as best you can.
And hope you can sleep.

Lots of love to you.

 

[wisebutwild]

Thank you @Miscanthus and @Chita for your kind words. It has just been a bad month so far for sad anniversaries and yesterday was just the final straw for me. I did eventually get to sleep but woke up at 5.30 so decided to get up.
This is a new day and I do feel better than yesterday. A good cry was probably what I needed to release all the emotions that have built up since the anniversaries of my husband’s birthday on the 1st July, his death on the 4th, his funeral on the 15th and our wedding anniversary yesterday. Everything happens in July, including my kids birthday on the 12th and my birthday on the 29th, so mourning and celebrations are intermingled and it proved so hard to flick from one to the other.

 

[Miscanthus]

Thank you @Miscanthus and @Chita for your kind words. It has just been a bad month so far for sad anniversaries and yesterday was just the final straw for me. I did eventually get to sleep but woke up at 5.30 so decided to get up.
This is a new day and I do feel better than yesterday. A good cry was probably what I needed to release all the emotions that have built up since the anniversaries of my husband’s birthday on the 1st July, his death on the 4th, his funeral on the 15th and our wedding anniversary yesterday. Everything happens in July, including my kids birthday on the 12th and my birthday on the 29th, so mourning and celebrations are intermingled and it proved so hard to flick from one to the other.

What a difficult month for you. You are allowed to have bad and good days. Unfortunately grief is not something that can be hurried, boxed up and set aside. We have to feel every painful minute of it.
I'm pleased you are feeling a bit better today.
Do you have anything special planned for your birthday? It's always good to have something to aim for.

 

[wisebutwild]

What a difficult month for you. You are allowed to have bad and good days. Unfortunately grief is not something that can be hurried, boxed up and set aside. We have to feel every painful minute of it.
I'm pleased you are feeling a bit better today.
Do you have anything special planned for your birthday? It's always good to have something to aim for.

Me, my two children (now 48 years old so hardly kids) and their partners, and my only grandchild are all going out for a meal on my birthday. But one person will be missing from the table and that will just bring back memories again for me. Anyway that’s the plan, but I will be glad when July is over then hopefully life can return to near normal again.

I have got a short 3 day break in North Wales booked for the end of August …… just my daughter and me, so looking forward to that.