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I'm sorry that your partner's Mum behaved like that when you were pregnant. It sounds like she was jealous of you and your son, and probably the attention your partner was showing you.No one needs to reply but I just needed to get a few things out. I'm really struggling with my partners family. Since I got pregnant 2 years ago, it's been nothing but trouble. His parents divorced years ago and was a very messy divorce and my partner isn't really that close with either of his parents.
I used to get on really well with his mum, would have so many laughs, text alot etc. As soon as I got pregnant she completely changed. She wouldn't acknowledge the pregnancy, and hardly spoke to me and then eventually when baby came along, she then decided she wanted to get close to my son. But because I felt so awkward around her with how she treated me during pregnancy I was very wary. And maybe, yes at time I was a little stand offish (especially when all my hormones were still really in full flow!) And I didn't reciprocate as much as maybe I should have done. But honestly, I was a new and first time mum. Trying to navigate myself into those first few months of motherhood. I didnt have the time or energy to be sorting out problems that i felt i didnt cause . Anway, when my son was about 9 months I contacted her a few times to say let's clear the air and start afresh and forget whats gone on and talk about things and get back on track. But my offer was quickly shot down and now we don't speak at all. She doesn't see my son, she doesn't even see her own son (as my partner doesn't want anything to do with her). And I just feel so sad about it all. The fact my son is 2 and she is missing out on so much, makes me sad. I tried to offer the olive branch last Christmas too but she declined again. And I dunno, that makes me sad.
Then we have my partners dad.... this is an awful situation. Basically I don't trust him around my son at all. Under no circumstances do I ever allow alone time with him. I have many valid reasons regarding this, and iv also had talks with the police. ..... but it all seems so desperately sad that I'm marrying into this family. I love my partner and he's a beautiful, gentle soul who is so good to me. He knows what his family is like and is embarrassed of them. But I can't but help to feel sad about it all. I just wish he had a normal family where it would be full of love and happiness for my son (like my childhood was) .
So I dunno, I feel sad for my son not having a nice family around him, and I feel sorry for myself as I can't stand any of my partners family anymore and it just feels like a horrible place to be in, especially as il be marrying him soon.
I know people have worse problems and are really struggling but I just had to get it out.
If you can bring yourself to do it, just send her a photo of your Son in a Christmas card each year, and then she can't accuse you of cutting her out.
With regards to the Dad, it sounds like he's best avoided at all costs! I'd continue to keep all contact to a minimum and with your partner. Hopefully he'll lose interest and let you get on with your life in peace.
Try to go to some Mums and Toddlers groups and cultivate a close group of friends.
Thanks so much, and that's a brilliant idea. I do keep asking my partner if he should go and see her with our little one, but he never does. I'd be happy for her to be involved, but its just her who stops it and I don't want to keep begging her like before, so I'm just leaving it and taking my partners lead. But the photo is an excellent suggestion.
Thanks so much for you wisdom and advice it's truly appreciated xx
I think the other members have said enough on the situation with your mil so I just wanted to chime into this part. Like Chita said, your husband is so so lucky to have found you and escaped them. I come from an extremely messy family so it is easy for me to imagine this from your husbands pov. I have cut a lot of my family members off (immediate) because of how toxic they are. I realised if I choose to have children one day, I don't want my children subjected to their behaviour, so why am I allowing it to happen to me in my early 20s? I think you will one day agree, but it may take you some time, and that's ok.Then we have my partners dad.... this is an awful situation. Basically I don't trust him around my son at all. Under no circumstances do I ever allow alone time with him. I have many valid reasons regarding this, and iv also had talks with the police. ..... but it all seems so desperately sad that I'm marrying into this family. I love my partner and he's a beautiful, gentle soul who is so good to me. He knows what his family is like and is embarrassed of them. But I can't but help to feel sad about it all. I just wish he had a normal family where it would be full of love and happiness for my son (like my childhood was) .
So I dunno, I feel sad for my son not having a nice family around him, and I feel sorry for myself as I can't stand any of my partners family anymore and it just feels like a horrible place to be in, especially as il be marrying him soon.
I know people have worse problems and are really struggling but I just had to get it out.
Your son is better off without his dad's family - it's sad but its true, the same goes for me in my situation. Take it as a sign that he has no interest in maintaining the relationship with his mum himself. You and your husband have the ability to make your child's childhood and life still full of love, happiness and Im sure it will be a lot more peaceful than if you had poisonous family members involved. Please don't feel sad or that your child won't have a loving childhood because of them. You have tried to reconcile the situation and she wasn't interested. It will always be her loss and never yours, don't forget that.
This is such a beautiful post and made me well up. I'm sorry youve found yourself in a similar situation that my partner has,because iv seen the upset it has caused him. I also realise from it all that iv been extremely lucky in my childhood and my family. And I think as a result iv gone around with this romantic view that all families have been like mine but I know that's not true. I shouldn't compare them either. I think I was so hung up on this idea of marrying into a wonderful family like my parents did that it's made me feel disappointed.
But you are so right, my sons childhood is in my hands and I know il do all I can to make it special regardless of who is in his life. I suppose part of me does miss my mother in law, but its not enough to go grovelling, because its quite clear she doesn't miss us and is her loss like you say.
Thanks so very much with your advice and words especially as you've had experience with toxic family members. I really do appreciate you all who have taken the time to comment and advise as I was having a really bad day with it today. Its really helped me see things clearly. Xxxx
Hi guys, I've been feeling low since yesterday, I can't exactly explain why. But there have been small things, that chip away at the psyche. The fact that I left a comment on another thread this morning, and was criticised for my insensitivity, didn't help.
Yes I know it's Tattle, and not everyone is going to agree with your point of view. But sometimes I wish people weren't so touchy. Living in the modern world, is like a minefield sometimes.
Yes I know it's Tattle, and not everyone is going to agree with your point of view. But sometimes I wish people weren't so touchy. Living in the modern world, is like a minefield sometimes.
Be glad that you're not still at the beer festival with that twit ignoring you. That should cheer you up!
This is why I keep returning to the Harry and Meghan threads even though I am sick of the pair of them.
The posters in that thread are just fab u lous.
No one takes offence or ridicules and we are all tolerated even if we disagree.
I agree about living in the modern world being a minefield. I feel like becoming a hermit sometime.
And sometimes I may as well be.
My normal 'home is a 'guru' thread.
I love the H&M thread, which is how I know you, but I am so over them.
I've been lurking on the Lucy Letby thread for months (nurse accused of killing babies) and the posters on there are hilarious. The humour relieves the horror of the subject matter and the boredom of waiting for the jury's verdict.
I find it very interesting how different threads have different atmospheres..is that the word?
Is that case the longest jury deliberation ever?
Still no verdict?
I don't think it's the longest. There are 22 charges though so it could take time.
However, both the long trial and now the deliberations have been plagued by juror absences and there were no deliberations at all the week before last! Even Monday there was a no show by one juror (poss traffic problems) but there's a pattern of Monday absences.
Just googled - longest jury deliberation was four and a half months in the USA in 1992.
Hey lovely people. How’s everyone doing?
I feel bad because I dump my feelings and then disappear but I’m sending love and positivity in my head to you all
I’ve had two hypnotherapy sessions since we last spoke (thank you to the posters who suggested this) and I’m feeling really positive about the future of overcoming my anxiety. I’m only just starting the journey but I’m excited to think of where I could be
I was let down with that other job however I’ve gone back to the job I only just started and I’m doing so much better having less hours. Everyone’s been so supportive and I’m already feeling like I could increase my hours. Slowly but surely hey I do however feel a bit crappy with myself because I know my pay is going to be rubbish this month but my mental health is more important than money. Thank you for all of your support. I feel so lucky to have such supportive family and friends (and you lovely lot) 
I feel bad because I dump my feelings and then disappear but I’m sending love and positivity in my head to you all
I’ve had two hypnotherapy sessions since we last spoke (thank you to the posters who suggested this) and I’m feeling really positive about the future of overcoming my anxiety. I’m only just starting the journey but I’m excited to think of where I could be
I was let down with that other job however I’ve gone back to the job I only just started and I’m doing so much better having less hours. Everyone’s been so supportive and I’m already feeling like I could increase my hours. Slowly but surely hey
I do however feel a bit crappy with myself because I know my pay is going to be rubbish this month but my mental health is more important than money. Thank you for all of your support. I feel so lucky to have such supportive family and friends (and you lovely lot) Great to hear from you and that everything is looking positive. Well done for sorting out the therapy. Honestly you will feel so much stronger from this experience. It might not seem like it now but you will have learnt so much about yourself and will be able to deal with problems in the future so much better. Good luck xxHey lovely people. How’s everyone doing?
I feel bad because I dump my feelings and then disappear but I’m sending love and positivity in my head to you all
I’ve had two hypnotherapy sessions since we last spoke (thank you to the posters who suggested this) and I’m feeling really positive about the future of overcoming my anxiety. I’m only just starting the journey but I’m excited to think of where I could be
I was let down with that other job however I’ve gone back to the job I only just started and I’m doing so much better having less hours. Everyone’s been so supportive and I’m already feeling like I could increase my hours. Slowly but surely hey
@mrs.darcy - saw your post about your daughter. Hope everything is ok.
Thanks Chita, she's still in hospital and will be there for at least a couple of more days until they find out what's wrong, it's some sort of infection but they're not sure what just now.
I honestly feel like I’m invisible. And I’ve been here faithfully since H&M thread #118 and lurking before that. I ask questions no one responds. I tag people with comments, I get no response. I was even attacked by a sugar who drifted in from the Appreciation thread, she came in and started gaslighting me, was celebrated then flounced back to the other thread. I feel like the kid the gym teacher puts on your team because no one picked me. Is it because I have MPD? It’s not catching you know. No one has even cared to ask what it’s like, while other conditions are shown a special compassion. I feel very alone here. and I care so much for everyone in our thread. I feel like everyone has me on ignore. On one hand
I feel like Rachel, making it all about me. But then my littlest (inner) girl is just crying out for friendship and caring. With arms outstretched. I feel like I reach out but I’m not in the room. I’ve been shunned by my neighbors, because a witch announced my dead mother was living with us. And here I feel if I never came back, no one would notice or care. Was it something I said? There was a definite shift, and I don’t know what I said or did to cause it.
I feel like Rachel, making it all about me. But then my littlest (inner) girl is just crying out for friendship and caring. With arms outstretched. I feel like I reach out but I’m not in the room. I’ve been shunned by my neighbors, because a witch announced my dead mother was living with us. And here I feel if I never came back, no one would notice or care. Was it something I said? There was a definite shift, and I don’t know what I said or did to cause it.
I’m sorry for the rant. I didn’t know where else to post This feeling just hurts and I don’t know how to fix it.
It sounds very upsetting to experience and feel that. I think some threads just kind of conk out without it being anybody’s fault but I understand it’s really painful to feel you aren’t a part of things. Just wanted to send you virtual hugs x.I honestly feel like I’m invisible. And I’ve been here faithfully since H&M thread #118 and lurking before that. I ask questions no one responds. I tag people with comments, I get no response. I was even attacked by a sugar who drifted in from the Appreciation thread, she came in and started gaslighting me, was celebrated then flounced back to the other thread. I feel like the kid the gym teacher puts on your team because no one picked me. Is it because I have MPD? It’s not catching you know. No one has even cared to ask what it’s like, while other conditions are shown a special compassion. I feel very alone here. and I care so much for everyone in our thread. I feel like everyone has me on ignore. On one hand
I feel like Rachel, making it all about me. But then my littlest (inner) girl is just crying out for friendship and caring. With arms outstretched. I feel like I reach out but I’m not in the room. I’ve been shunned by my neighbors, because a witch announced my dead mother was living with us. And here I feel if I never came back, no one would notice or care. Was it something I said? There was a definite shift, and I don’t know what I said or did to cause it.
I’m sorry for the rant. I didn’t know where else to post This feeling just hurts and I don’t know how to fix it.
I'm sorry @VioletButterfly, I don't think it's deliberate (certainly not on my part) that thread can move so fast sometimes it's very hard to keep up. I often just skim it or miss out lots of pages if I'm too far behind. It's often less of a conversation and more just everybody shouting at once in there..I honestly feel like I’m invisible. And I’ve been here faithfully since H&M thread #118 and lurking before that. I ask questions no one responds. I tag people with comments, I get no response. I was even attacked by a sugar who drifted in from the Appreciation thread, she came in and started gaslighting me, was celebrated then flounced back to the other thread. I feel like the kid the gym teacher puts on your team because no one picked me. Is it because I have MPD? It’s not catching you know. No one has even cared to ask what it’s like, while other conditions are shown a special compassion. I feel very alone here. and I care so much for everyone in our thread. I feel like everyone has me on ignore. On one hand
I feel like Rachel, making it all about me. But then my littlest (inner) girl is just crying out for friendship and caring. With arms outstretched. I feel like I reach out but I’m not in the room. I’ve been shunned by my neighbors, because a witch announced my dead mother was living with us. And here I feel if I never came back, no one would notice or care. Was it something I said? There was a definite shift, and I don’t know what I said or did to cause it.
I’m sorry for the rant. I didn’t know where else to post This feeling just hurts and I don’t know how to fix it.
Please keep posting x
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