This whole thread, combined with what happened to that poor woman in the UK, is just horrifying. The amount of women who have posted on here about the terrible things that happened to them. My social media today has been filled with posts and stats, listing all the ways women try to stay safe, but bad shit still happens to them. Harassment at all levels. From what is deemed 'harmless' catcalling, telling a woman to smile (FUCK OFF), to asking if a woman was drunk when she was raped. What was she thinking, going to that party, going off into a room with that guy. What did she think would happen? It's hardly the man's fault. She was asking for it.
How about the crazy idea, that the woman should she have the power of consent. Just because she was drunk does not mean she was not raped. Just because she went off with guy, doesn't mean she had to give a blow job.
I was raped when I was 16. I was drunk. Went back to my boyfriends house. We had never had sex, or even come close. He was 4 years older. I vaguely remember him on top of me, but that is all. The next morning I went home. Never told anyone. Broke up with the boyfriend after. I always thought it was my fault. I was drunk. What did I expect? It wasn't his fault, he's a man, couldn't control himself. I didn't have sex again until I was 21..
I have a daughter. I teach her it's ok to say no. That she doesn't have to hug anyone she doesn't want to.
I have a son. I teach him that 'no' means 'no'. When he's older, I'll tell him if a person is too drunk to give consent, then that is rape.
We have to do better. It's not good enough what women endure. And to read 'but she could be lying. What about his career'. "why wouldn't you go to the police?" I'd say nearly every woman that gets assaulted believes it's her fault. We all know that the legal system is fucked as regards these cases. We know that people will question us, doubt us. You don't want to talk about something so personal with strangers. For the tiny percentage of women that might be lying about such things, there are huge numbers that don't report their assault. I will always believe someone.