Elle Florence #5 Granny Aesthetics, balancing unemployment and the art of scamming

[svdwoodsen]

Eleanor Florence is such a misleading jack of all trades, master of none.

“I’m a young, professional lawyer” - has a foreign law degree and no JD, passed the BC bar but never practiced as a lawyer in her investigator role.

“I’m a jewelry and clothing designer” - I string Alibaba pearls in my pjs while touching my cats and watching Hallmark romances. I order scarves from a warehouse in Nepal and resell them at an exorbitant markup.

“I cuck a lot/love cucking” - my food looks dry and bland. I don’t wash my houseware or replace them when I should. I keep banana bread in a drawer. I make “fresh gud pasta” but really I just sit on my ass while my smart pasta maker does all the work.

Everything she likes to show off and brag about is dubious at best if you actually take a close look.

 

[Sheepsmeadow]

Eleanor Florence is such a misleading jack of all trades, master of none.

“I’m a young, professional lawyer” - has a foreign law degree and no JD, passed the BC bar but never practiced as a lawyer in her investigator role.

“I’m a jewelry and clothing designer” - I string Alibaba pearls in my pjs while touching my cats and watching Hallmark romances. I order scarves from a warehouse in Nepal and resell them at an exorbitant markup.

“I cuck a lot/love cucking” - my food looks dry and bland. I don’t wash my houseware or replace them when I should. I keep banana bread in a drawer. I make “fresh gud pasta” but really I just sit on my ass while my smart pasta maker does all the work.

Everything she likes to show off and brag about is dubious at best if you actually take a close look.

You forgot:
“I am a fashion and beauty guru” - I buy the same too-tight Halogen pants and cashmere sweaters over and over, pull my tops down over hips, and wear inappropriate low cut dresses with my “signature winged eyeliner” clown makeup look and pageant hair whether I am “working from home”, going hiking or kayaking, or riding my uber expensive and impractical bicycle to grab a croissant at my local bakery.

 

[Phoebe.Tallulah]

I keep thinking she doesn’t actually understand the word aesthetic lol. Smelle, being dirty and unwashed isn’t aesthetically pleasing! This goes for your hair to your clothing, your apartment and you’re pans! Someone who claims to be SO aesthetically conscious should get this, even if she had to have a second set of things she used for posts/videos.

 

[greenbear]

Anyone noticed that disgusting old tray? Can you believe she dragged it from one Vancouver apartment to another, from Canada to Florida, and from Florida to Seattle? If that's not hoarding, then I don't know what is. Any sane person would have either cleaned it thoroughly or disposed of it. It bears resemblance to her hair - greasy and dirty. Maybe that's why she can't let go of it.
View attachment 230102

she is stingy with the weirdest things

 

[svdwoodsen]

I feel like Elle just creates some narrative for herself in all facets of life and never bothers to improve. She could’ve looked for an entry lawyer job and became an actual lawyer but didn’t. She could’ve learned more about jewelry design but thinks stringing them like a five year old with plastic beads is fine. Her fashion sense and make up never evolved past the 2000s despite the fact that she’s no longer in college, but a 30+ year old woman. Her cucking looks the exact same as it’s always been with the same tired recipes, just with dirtier utensils and wares.

 

[greenbear]

I know you can't tell how good something tastes from a photo but it doesn't look very appetizing either, even putting the dirty baking tray aside. I suspect she isn't as good a cook as she pretends to be. Remember that grimace Rick made when he ate one of Eleanor's creations? He looked like he was choking on his tongue before correcting himself.

Maybe we were wrong about her exes dumping her due to the vapid personality and shopaholic tendencies...perhaps it's actually from the upset stomachs and food poisoning?

your shattering all my illusions about Elle, I genuinely thought her cooking was her best quality

 

[svdwoodsen]

your shattering all my illusions about Elle, I genuinely thought her cooking was her best quality

Apologies...whoever showed her dirty silpat + tray with the sad, dry looking "paninis" really inspired me to think about it and I realized a lot of her cooking is heating things up or letting her pasta maker do the hard work.

FWIW I think it's great that she actually cooks! I love cooking myself and have spent many hours in the kitchen so I'm not knocking her for that. I just get the impression she's not as good as cook as she pretends to be given her questionable looking food and poor hygiene standards. Ricket's expression was gold though and just helped confirm my suspicions.

 

[greenbear]

Apologies...whoever showed her dirty silpat + tray with the sad, dry looking "paninis" really inspired me to think about it and I realized her cooking is mostly...heating things up or letting her pasta maker do the hard work.

FWIW I think it's great that she actually cooks! I love cooking myself and have spent many hours in the kitchen so I'm not knocking her for that. I just get the impression she's not as good as cook as she pretends to be given her questionable looking food and poor hygiene standards. Ricket's expression was gold though and just helped confirm my suspicions.

that and the reaction to "love of my life" was priceless

 

[svdwoodsen]

that and the reaction to "love of my life" was priceless

God I miss Rick.

This is from his latest video. I wonder if this is what Eleanor used to see in the bedroom...

 

[202leda]

I don’t think she realizes her laziness and inability to improve on her “skills” require more work for her to embellish and lie to her audience. She refuses to admit when she is lying to people even when faced with evidence to the contrary. Like...how is she comfortable with telling people she’s a lawyer and a designer when it’s already been confirmed she’s neither?

If she was really passionate about jewelry and gems, wouldn’t she want to take formal classes to learn the trade? At the very least, take classes to be GIA certified. I started getting interested in jewelry a couple years ago not because I wanted to sell but I wanted to get the best quality gems for myself and understand what to look for. Nearly all the jewelers I’ve bought from (whether they were from a brick and mortar or a seller with an Etsy store) were GIA certified. Same with her Nouvelle Apparel line. If you like cashmere so much why not put some money into actually researching factories, collecting fabric samples, and establishing business relationships instead of buying from some random vendor and sticking your label on it?

Same with being a lawyer. Either admit you don’t like the profession or actually work towards it if that’s your dream. Although to be honest, I don’t see the point of her taking the bar exam when in reality she will never practice.

Same goes for her social media. I hate to mention Chase Amie but at least you can tell Amie is passionate with her channel and the work she puts in shows. Elle doesn’t care unless it involves effortless, eye roll worthy bragging.

I admit I am lazy about a lot of things but when I take an interest in something, I get very passionate and obsessive over it and try to do as much research as I can. I don’t really see Elle passionate with anything she does, tbh, unless it involves shopping or being in a relationship. Otherwise most of what she does isn’t really a passion for her, she just does it so she can make easy money off it.

 

[svdwoodsen]

I don’t think she realizes her laziness and inability to improve on her “skills” require more work for her to embellish and lie to her audience. She refuses to admit when she is lying to people even when faced with evidence to the contrary. Like...how is she comfortable with telling people she’s a lawyer and a designer when it’s already been confirmed she’s neither?

If she was really passionate about jewelry and gems, wouldn’t she want to take formal classes to learn the trade? At the very least, take classes to be GIA certified. I started getting interested in jewelry a couple years ago not because I wanted to sell but I wanted to get the best quality gems for myself and understand what to look for. Nearly all the jewelers I’ve bought from (whether they were from a brick and mortar or a seller with an Etsy store) were GIA certified. Same with her Nouvelle Apparel line. If you like cashmere so much why not put some money into actually researching factories, collecting fabric samples, and establishing business relationships instead of buying from some random vendor and sticking your label on it?

Same with being a lawyer. Either admit you don’t like the profession or actually work towards it if that’s your dream. Although to be honest, I don’t see the point of her taking the bar exam when in reality she will never practice.

Same goes for her social media. I hate to mention Chase Amie but at least you can tell Amie is passionate with her channel and the work she puts in shows. Elle doesn’t care unless it involves effortless, eye roll worthy bragging.

I admit I am lazy about a lot of things but when I take an interest in something, I get very passionate and obsessive over it and try to do as much research as I can. I don’t really see Elle passionate with anything she does, tbh, unless it involves shopping or being in a relationship. Otherwise most of what she does isn’t really a passion for her, she just does it so she can make easy money off it.

This is a great point! I didn't cook growing up so once I started doing more of it, I took a course. I wasn't expecting to become a chef or food blogger after that, but it was a great learning experience and taught me a lot of the basics and more of cooking. Anyone who tries to run a business off of that (i.e.: Eleonore Florence's food blog) should have some valid experience or certification. It's like people who want to be yoga instructors - you should've taken the 200 hr YA RYT before teaching. I have multiple friends who do have the GIA certification because they're either running a jewelry business or interested in gems.

I agree with you that it's all about profiting off her viewers for Eleanor, but she doesn't have Amie's business sense or drive. Or the discipline to educate and improve herself apparently.

 

[202leda]

This is a great point! I didn't cook growing up so once I started doing more of it, I took a course. I wasn't expecting to become a chef or food blogger after that, but it was a great learning experience and taught me a lot of the basics and more of cooking. Anyone who tries to run a business off of that (i.e.: Eleonore Florence's food blog) should have some valid experience or certification. It's like people who want to be yoga instructors - you should've taken the 200 hr YA RYT before teaching. I have multiple friends who do have the GIA certification because they're either running a jewelry business or interested in gems.

I agree with you that it's all about profiting off her viewers for Eleanor, but she doesn't have Amie's business sense or drive. Or the discipline to educate and improve herself apparently.

A lot of what she can do to get certified in anything isn’t hard at all as long as you have money (which she does just by the amount of shopping she does) and you actually WANT TO LEARN. I never got that impression from her and always believed she was just a lazy girl who wanted to take advantage of the fruits of Joe’s (or any man, really) labor.

I mean, really, what does she even like that doesn’t involve men or spoiling herself? Lmao.

 

[thecatlass]

Ladies, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. She is an excellent CUCK by virtue of her uber-Europeanness. She has olive oil and red wine flowing in her veins! (Although, given her mother is Belgian, it's more likely it is beer and fries with mayo ).
She is a LaWyErLy LaWyEr because she watched 'Legally Blonde' and 'Suits' sixteen times. That's like graduating Harvard magna cum laude. Stop being jealous haters!

Lastly, let's not forget she faces life difficulties with such 'poise and grace', as per her ex-fiancé's own words. Her biggest life challenges have so far been multiple failed live-in relationships and a cut hand at university. #sodramatic #tragedy

 

[svdwoodsen]

Ladies, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. She is an excellent CUCK by virtue of her uber-Europeanness. She has olive oil and red wine flowing in her veins! (Although, given her mother is Belgian, it's more likely it is beer and fries with mayo ).
She is a LaWyErLy LaWyEr because she watched 'Legally Blonde' and 'Suits' sixteen times. That's like graduating Harvard magna cum laude. Stop being jealous haters!

Have you been drinking? Perhaps Belgian beer with Smelle?

 

[thecatlass]

Have you been drinking? Perhaps Belgian beer with Smelle?

Mmm no, I've not.

 

[svdwoodsen]

Mmm no, I've not.

Maybe that's what Elle tells herself whenever she goes on a rant against the haters with her crazy eyes.

(in case it wasn't clear, I was joking in my previous statement )

 

[commitmentissues]

I just watched her last "what I eat in a day". Am I the only one thinking she's feeling better? I was afraid the "friend" she kept talking about in a lot of videos / IG post would be a way to keep a low profile about it being yet another future (ex)boyfriend, but it's actually a woman.
To me she seemed way happier and "normal" in this video. I mean she's still being herself, with the cucking, the neverending promo for her pearls and everything, but that's one of the first times I've seen her with an actuel friend and actually doing something that doesn't involve a man or shopping.

Am I going to root for her? Maybe. Will I be disappointed? Lmao I'm sure but eh, I have nothing better to do.

 

[MissGlam21]

Apologies...whoever showed her dirty silpat + tray with the sad, dry looking "paninis" really inspired me to think about it and I realized a lot of her cooking is heating things up or letting her pasta maker do the hard work.

FWIW I think it's great that she actually cooks! I love cooking myself and have spent many hours in the kitchen so I'm not knocking her for that. I just get the impression she's not as good as cook as she pretends to be given her questionable looking food and poor hygiene standards. Ricket's expression was gold though and just helped confirm my suspicions.

My boyfriend is a born and raised Italian who’s a control freak in the kitchen. He didn’t go to culinary school (but his uncle who is a culinary chef instructor trained him throughout his life). He laughed at the sight of Elle’s Philips pasta maker as she went on about how “quick and easy” it is to make pasta. When I showed him the video of her making homemade gnocchi, he spat out the water he was drinking because she was cutting the gnocchi way too thick her over-exaggerated sexual moans as she took a bite of it coupled with the self-eye-bleeping was the cherry on top

that and the reaction to "love of my life" was priceless

Does anyone have links to these videos?

 

[svdwoodsen]

My boyfriend is a born and raised Italian who’s a control freak in the kitchen. He didn’t go to culinary school (but his uncle who is a culinary chef instructor trained him throughout his life). He laughed at the sight of Elle’s Philips pasta maker as she went on about how “quick and easy” it is to make pasta. When I showed him the video of her making homemade gnocchi, he spat out the water he was drinking because she was cutting the gnocchi way too thick her over-exaggerated sexual moans as she took a bite of it coupled with the self-eye-bleeping was the cherry on top


Does anyone have links to these videos?

Right?? It's like people who buy cake mix or make bread using a bread machine. There's nothing wrong with that by any means but you're not exactly cooking or baking like an expert when you do that. Only Elle would think that's a big deal and makes her a "gud cuck."

 

[Drasticactions]

I just watched her last "what I eat in a day". Am I the only one thinking she's feeling better? I was afraid the "friend" she kept talking about in a lot of videos / IG post would be a way to keep a low profile about it being yet another future (ex)boyfriend, but it's actually a woman.
To me she seemed way happier and "normal" in this video. I mean she's still being herself, with the cucking, the neverending promo for her pearls and everything, but that's one of the first times I've seen her with an actuel friend and actually doing something that doesn't involve a man or shopping.

Am I going to root for her? Maybe. Will I be disappointed? Lmao I'm sure but eh, I have nothing better to do.

I agree it was refreshing to see her doing something that wasn't soley shopping oriented or man-centric.

And you are right she did seem to enjoy being out with her friend and I think thats something she needs in her life. She doesn't seem to know how to enjoy things when she's single (from what we've seen on video) unless it is food or shopping.

I still think it is weird how she relies on other people to make her content more interesting by looking at her off camera friend and trying to talk to them while filming. But at least she's trying. I still think everything felt glossed over like she could've shared maybe a hard part of the hike so she could come across more human but Elle would never do that. She seems like one of those girls who doesn't want guys to know they poop.