With all the Texas Twatfuckery that's been going on lately, I thought I'd take a walk down memory lane on the Wiki to share some classic and chaotic moments that Ellenor Jane Digestive Biscuit Darby Swift has #gifted us, as we celebrate her decade long YouTube career.
I'm not sure if there's enough money left in the Angelle Collection kitty to produce some commemorative tea towels or fridge magnets, but buckle up Angles, here we go Boo's!!
Back to the beginning: The Bodybuilding Era
Between dodging Smelly looking foreign men at the gym, Elle starts her YouTube journey whilst featuring Connnn in her videos as she ditches Uni for Bodybuilding competitions instead. Gollum's not happy that Con's forgotten to buy some chocolate digestives.
The Hair Transplant in Lockdown Era
Towards the end of 2020, with the original Lockdown Rules being bought back into force over Christmas and into the New Year of 2021 as numbers starting rising again. Most people were tired of it, but trying to abide by the rules and advice to not mingle with too many people at a time, to only make modest Christmas and NYE plans. EDL and Conman were regularly out and about miles from home flouting the rules. (They visited many of their families in this time to record their reactions to their pregnancy announcement which were put into the announcement video) Con was gifted a free hair transplant (when cancer patients and other important medical procedures were being cancelled or prioritised) they both proudly documented it on social media - and quite rightly got a backlash from most people - apart from the Angles who didn't see a problem with it. I would argue if the Angles couldn't see a problem with it, maybe they needed laser eye surgery.
The Maternity Fashion Era
Queen Angle finally got One Cup Con to get her up the duff after a gruelling 2 month TTC journey. She treated us to some absolute fashion BELTERS in this Era. The try on Haul at about 5 minutes "preggo" set the precedent for some classic fashion moments.The Roger from American Dad look was my favourite from the whole wardrobe.
The Muff Era
Figure this one out for yourselves if you're new around here Angles 🫱
🫲
(The winning thread title of the time "Up the duff, Con's had enough, why's the dog always sniffing her muff?)
Con's Kellogs Acting Era
Either Kellogs cereals give you constipation or diarrhea, it's not very clear from the director's brief. With a baby on the way, Con had to start paying his pay with sponsored posts that weren't about protein shakes.
The Choccie Biccie Digestive Era
It's unclear when the obsession started, but being addicted to chocolate digestives became one of Elle's main pregnancy personality traits. She would go on and on in vlogs about how important it is to eat healthily in pregnancy.... whilst snaffling away a whole packet of McVities. She got heartburn towards the latter stages and tried to gain sympathy by saying she needed to pick up some "pregnancy heartburn medication" ..... Gaviscon, Elle, it's called GAVISCON.
The Photoshop Era
One of the longest eras, the delusion was strong with this one that you almost felt sorry for her - but then the Angles didn't have 2 brain cells between them to rub together to realise Insta Vs Reality is a genuine thing. I'm not coming after Elle for her body shape or weight gain in pregnancy here, but the extent of her editing, filters and photoshopping was so extreme and so blatant in some photos and videos that it was like 2 different people
The Angle Era
Obtuse, thick, dozy, mental, stunted, oblivious, unstable.... whatever you want to call them, the hard-core Angles have always tried to crawl up her tiny crack. A personal fave of mine - a fan on IG drew this, but Elle never reposted it or responded to it, I wonder why?
Have a lovely day my Tattle Angles
xxx