Elle Darby #36 Con’s been in Elle's purse, he's gone and bought an electric hearse

[Iztxo]

No cycling shorts in site is this girl for real.

 

[WhiteOrchid]

"Keep my baby alive..."
"Keep my dogs alive..."
"Keep my Fiancé" .... but she doesn't say whether he's 'alive'

"Running Businesses...." Alan Sugar's Wrinkly Left Ball Bag has more business acumen than you, Bellynor.

 

[Bil]

I've got to post on stories. Post on Instagram. Post on tiktok.
Fudging hell ell, take a nap hun you must be exhausted.
You get my pride of Britain vote

 

[mmrf2055]

I’ve just got around to looking at the newest vlog and I have one question.. why is Katie hauling around a big wheel barrow full of Elles stupid pumpkins for her house and con is walking the dogs?! Fair enough Elle is carrying saint but con should have offered to swap so Katie can walk the dogs and he wheel the heavy pumpkins around? Some “gentleman” he is, Prince Charming my bollocks

 

[Rebby123]

Anyone else baffled with her new insta photo how she has dropped about four dresses sizes in two weeks

 

[Disneygirl89]

I watched the newest vlog.

Did anyone else notice katie indirectly taking the piss out of Elle?

They’re talking about how they haven’t felt like it’s Autumnal yet (these influencers that are “obsessed” with autumn zzz) and Katie says “I know boo, people are still wearing shorts out like it’s not autumn”

It’s you Elle.
You’re people.

Also hit her with ' it's not Christmas until December, are you ok boo' lmao katie is a sweetheart.

 

[WhiteOrchid]

Never in my life have I heard someone bang on so much about their 'Curtain Bangs'.

You've literally had the front strands of your hair trimmed a tiny bit shorter Hun, still doesn't distract from the fact that you're developing a serious case of Pillow Face.... though in that case, drawing those curtains together might come in handy.

 

[WordsFromReuben]

NEW THREAD HUNNNI

Thank you @ChubClubThug for another cracking title, winning with 96 likes!

A Short RECAP

• The NTAs Vlog was a cringe fest.
• ConJob has bought a new Tesla hearse but it’s not the one he wanted and had to settle for a lesser model.
• Elle Carby is still a size XS.
• SSS is now a full time influencer with his own Instagram and paying rent.
• Angle Collection released another dire collection of overpriced tat that the angles lapped up.
• Elle Belly still hasn’t found her trousers.
• Not sure if I mentioned but she’s a XS or a S if wearing oversized.
• Herbie is still wearing his Christmas collar as no one has bothered to gift them a new one yet (do they not know who they are?!)
• There was one boring bland YouTube Vlog can’t recall what it was about!
• Oh and Elle is now a Tiktok Star so make way.

Feel free to add any recaps I’ve missed!

 

[mcgee]

sorry but the happiest con was in the new vlog was when he was talking about elle losing weight. I felt so bad for her tbh that he was finally complimenting her, but only now she's losing weight

He’s just screams the type of guy who grew up as a teen watching porn and thinks women should look like insta models or pornstars and can’t accept that women’s bodies change. Just makes it so obvious that he’s only totally satisfied if Elle looks like she did in those old photos he always posts as his “pocket rocket” because that’s his preference rather than loving and accepting her regardless of how her body may change especially post baby.

Dream man and Prince Charming are the last words I’d use to describe him.

 

[Mr Paul Barry John Allen]

Why's she so desperate to look like Mollie Mae?

 

[longtimelurker86]

Her lips look like she’s been sucked off by a Henry hoover

 

[WhiteOrchid]

Gemma Louise Miles would light a candle whilst using the toilet and call it a 'Cosy' Shit

 

[WhiteOrchid]

Maybe conman can get Elle 20% off hair plugs.

I can't now unsee Lucius Malfoy in an Angelle Collection Co-ord....

 

[formallygeese]

£45 for a T-shirt! That business is going to be a right disaster and I can’t wait to watch that Shit show unfold

Have they done any market research at all? Who is going to spend that much on a t-shirt from a first time conbusinessman. Do they know anything about the real word, energy hike, rising food costs, inflation and hello the pandemic that impacted the women, especially young women the most. Elle’s audience is younger women, a comment said it would be a 6 hour shift to buy 1 item for her bf. Do they ‘dynamic duo’ think about that? Anyone with a commitment-less life like them could afford their tat. However, one in a million are commitment-less.

Disgusting.

 

[mcgee]

I think this is a really nice photo, it’s good to see the real, natural Elle for a change and not the photoshopped, edited Elle. It’s photos like that that I’m sure Saint will enjoy looking back at when he’s a bit older than the ones where his mum is pouting and posing with him like he’s an accessory.

These natural photos do highlight just how much photoshopping she does to her photos which is sad as she looks fine here. I don’t understand if she’s happy for natural, unedited photos like that to be on social media (she shared it on her insta stories) then why does she go to the effort to edit and photoshop other photos of herself to the extent she does? It doesn’t make sense.

 

[WhiteOrchid]

I’m pretty sure they said the weight or size and it really wasn’t that big. Didn’t explain the huge bump that’s for sure

30% Baby, 30% a Tuna Baguette, 30% Chocolate Digestives and 10% fluid.

 

[WhiteOrchid]

Hopefully IG will be down for a few days to spare us the inevitable "Ask Me Anything" Q&A, which will predictably be all about Con Job's new merch with questions all asked and answered by.... Con Job himself.

Still, sweet of him to take inspiration from his Father and Father In Law's Past with the Wormwood Scrubs Collection. (All in Beige, Grey and Griege Colourways, naturally)

First 10 orders get a signed Giles Darby Book.

 

[Lottieinthesuburbs]

I agree but it’s pedestal! Not peddle stool

Yes totally! Seriously, what do they add to this world? Put up on a peddle stool by brain dead sheep, it’s crazy!

 

[flopsymopsy]

sorry but the happiest con was in the new vlog was when he was talking about elle losing weight. I felt so bad for her tbh that he was finally complimenting her, but only now she's losing weight

 

[longtimelurker86]

I wondered where all my people were, I’ve finally found my happy place. We all know she deletes her hate comments but boy is she fast (the only thing XS Elle is fast at), I’ve waited what feels like an eternity to catch someone bad mouth her and yet to this day, still not one has been found. Let me tell you about Elle Carby, the fact Con job was caught filming the pregnancy isle in Boots, months before it was announced, getting all the angles on those piss sticks unsure weather Elle was just fat or actually pregnant. Thanking her mum for the wonderful news of her pregnancy, what did she do, guide him in? She uses Katie clout, poor thing, doesn’t even know what day it is during those videos. Pretending your dead mum has sent her gifts for your birthday, disgusting little rat. Anyone who uses their own mothers death for money deserves to choke on a custard cream.

WELCOME!