Driving - Anxiety

[chelseag]

I’ve been really reassured and helped by this uk based guy 1stdrive on youtube. He explains where some of the panic comes from and gives realistic tools. Fear of bridges, motorways, new places, overtaking, night driving etc. You can also find some of his videos on Instagram

1stDrive (@driving_anxiety) • Instagram photos and videos

229 Followers, 0 Following, 21 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from 1stDrive (@driving_anxiety)

www.instagram.com

 

[Codiaeum]

Feeling like crap now. Had to do a massive grocery shop and booked a car for it, knowing it would be packed before Easter, but I mastered the parking lot there and even a very busy narrow road just fine. Brought everything home and parked in the yard to bring stuff inside, BF helping me. He says don’t drive against the bollards in a joking manner and I said I didn’t intend to. I know he can see me from the window so immediately I go into anxiety mode and realize I parked the car a bit badly and that when trying to reverse it would be tight. I start to panic and go slowly, car is starting to alert and I can’t see anything and feel that I indeed must have touched that bollard. Kid you not, I was in such a panic, I got out at one point checking what on earth it would take to reverse out of that slot and then realized that that bollard is completely in a dead angle. Took me 10 tries of reversing, then forwards again to manage to get out. I feel so bad, I was proud of myself for going to the shops, driving there and now it feels like my confidence is shattered again.
Halfway blaming the BF as well. It’s not his fault that I touched that bollard and there’s not even a mark on the car but I know that it gives me immediate anxiety when I know he is watching. He is a very confident driver….

At least I didn’t do what a visitor from a neighbor recently did and after trying for a few minutes to reverse out of the exact same slot with a Smart just decided to drive across the lawn. Feel her pain better now, in a small car that stupid bollard truly isn’t visible at all.

 

[Thank(space)you]

My driving anxiety has improved so much from doing more driving, it's unreal. I'm still more anxious than a lot of my friends, but I'm fine with that. I drove myself and my child on a family holiday this week, 70 miles away, never driven there before, wasn't anxious at all! And only a little anxious on the way back due to the bad weather. There were lots of roundabouts, A roads, motorway, country lanes and I bossed it

 

[Lalla]

My driving anxiety has improved so much from doing more driving, it's unreal. I'm still more anxious than a lot of my friends, but I'm fine with that. I drove myself and my child on a family holiday this week, 70 miles away, never driven there before, wasn't anxious at all! And only a little anxious on the way back due to the bad weather. There were lots of roundabouts, A roads, motorway, country lanes and I bossed it

This is brilliant! You should feel really proud of yourself.

I've had to challenge myself with 2 drives recently, one was at night to an unfamiliar area with no parking. I don't like driving at night but I took it steady, missed a couple of turns but nothing that delayed me more than 5 mins. As for the parking, I just drove up the road til I found a space I didn't have to parallel park in then this week I had to drive into London (not the very centre, but near) and then from one place to another. First part was fine, second part I went the wrong way twice, but recovered it eventually! The main issue was lots of the roads being marked as 20mph even though everyone other than me was doing 30+. I only got beeped once which I'll take as a win. All in all I think I did ok - well done me!
Oh I also managed to park ok at both locations, again just driving slightly further for an easier space

 

[Thank(space)you]

This is brilliant! You should feel really proud of yourself.

I've had to challenge myself with 2 drives recently, one was at night to an unfamiliar area with no parking. I don't like driving at night but I took it steady, missed a couple of turns but nothing that delayed me more than 5 mins. As for the parking, I just drove up the road til I found a space I didn't have to parallel park in then this week I had to drive into London (not the very centre, but near) and then from one place to another. First part was fine, second part I went the wrong way twice, but recovered it eventually! The main issue was lots of the roads being marked as 20mph even though everyone other than me was doing 30+. I only got beeped once which I'll take as a win. All in all I think I did ok - well done me!
Oh I also managed to park ok at both locations, again just driving slightly further for an easier space

City driving especially London, terrifies me. Super impressed by you!

 

[coconochanel]

I can't parallel park either - I finally mastered it in 2019 when I used to drive to work every day (and parallel park at least some of those days). Then lockdown happened and we didn't go to the office for 2 years, I've now lost the knack completely.

Tip for this is pull up next to a parked car then reverse until you are halfway back from the parked car then start to turn your wheel to maneuver into the space.

 

[37BBL]

So my anxiety about driving seems to be getting worse. Absolutely fine in my local town, no stress parking anywhere or anything.

Tell me to go somewhere else though and I panic. Example, our eldest son has been scouted and invited to an academy football trial. Its brilliant and a great opportunity. My husband would ordinarily take him but he has another commitment for work and cannot. So for 3 weeks it's on me.

You will not believe the amount of times I have Google maped the route. It will be dark when we come home so I am checking there are streetlights, I hate driving with main beam on, and I'm even checking speed limits as I don't really like driving 60mph. Wtf is wrong with me ‍
It's 16 miles from our house and about 30 minutes. No dual carriageways, no merging onto anything and the majority is residential streets with a 30/40mph limit. However I am still panicking massively.

I'll do it because I won't let him down, but God I wish I didn't feel like this.

 

[Codiaeum]

So my anxiety about driving seems to be getting worse. Absolutely fine in my local town, no stress parking anywhere or anything.

Tell me to go somewhere else though and I panic. Example, our eldest son has been scouted and invited to an academy football trial. Its brilliant and a great opportunity. My husband would ordinarily take him but he has another commitment for work and cannot. So for 3 weeks it's on me.

You will not believe the amount of times I have Google maped the route. It will be dark when we come home so I am checking there are streetlights, I hate driving with main beam on, and I'm even checking speed limits as I don't really like driving 60mph. Wtf is wrong with me ‍
It's 16 miles from our house and about 30 minutes. No dual carriageways, no merging onto anything and the majority is residential streets with a 30/40mph limit. However I am still panicking massively.

I'll do it because I won't let him down, but God I wish I didn't feel like this.

Aww, what a great opportunity for your son!
Would it help you to make that drive by daylight to get to know it before having to take the plunge? I fully get the darkness aspect, I tend to fear that I overlook a corner and someone will just drive out of it, but if I know the way by daylight I feel much better about it.

 

[37BBL]

Aww, what a great opportunity for your son!
Would it help you to make that drive by daylight to get to know it before having to take the plunge? I fully get the darkness aspect, I tend to fear that I overlook a corner and someone will just drive out of it, but if I know the way by daylight I feel much better about it.

Thank you I unfortunately don't have an opportunity to drive the route in daytime due to work etc. I'll be okay I am sure, just writing it down makes me feel a bit better tbh x

 

[Ilaariaa]

I'm 24 and I got my license 5 years ago but I have only recently started driving again due to anxiety.
I learnt on a manual (required in my country to get a full driving license) and switching gears and handling the clutch was always the biggest issue with driving for me because I'm very uncoordinated and I find it very difficult to focus on all these things plus the road, the speed etc. Recently my dad got a small automatic car and he suggested trying it. I started driving again on that and it's been much better, I feel a lot more confident.
Do you think I should give up trying to drive manual and focus on gaining confidence and being able to at least drive automatic cars? Manual cars are still very common in my country so I'm kind of worried that I might need to know how to drive a manual in the future and I won't be able to. I'm a little hesitant to give up completely. On the other hand I feel like by practicing on my dad's automatic car I can at least ensure I can drive something lol. I also feel like once I get confident and I can drive independently on an automatic, if I ever need it I can re-learn to drive manuals more easily. What do you think?

I am not in a huge hurry to pick up driving again because as of now I live in a city with public transport and I never really need to drive, but I'd like to be a confident driver as soon as possible so I can move to a cheaper place and have more job opportunities.

Eta: I hope I got all the terminology right, English isn't my first language and I don't usually talk about cars in English

 

[Codiaeum]

I'm 24 and I got my license 5 years ago but I have only recently started driving again due to anxiety.
I learnt on a manual (required in my country to get a full driving license) and switching gears and handling the clutch was always the biggest issue with driving for me because I'm very uncoordinated and I find it very difficult to focus on all these things plus the road, the speed etc. Recently my dad got a small automatic car and he suggested trying it. I started driving again on that and it's been much better, I feel a lot more confident.
Do you think I should give up trying to drive manual and focus on gaining confidence and being able to at least drive automatic cars? Manual cars are still very common in my country so I'm kind of worried that I might need to know how to drive a manual in the future and I won't be able to. I'm a little hesitant to give up completely. On the other hand I feel like by practicing on my dad's automatic car I can at least ensure I can drive something lol. I also feel like once I get confident and I can drive independently on an automatic, if I ever need it I can re-learn to drive manuals more easily. What do you think?

I am not in a huge hurry to pick up driving again because as of now I live in a city with public transport and I never really need to drive, but I'd like to be a confident driver as soon as possible so I can move to a cheaper place and have more job opportunities.

Eta: I hope I got all the terminology right, English isn't my first language and I don't usually talk about cars in English

I understand you very well, I also find using an automatic easier than a manual, it's one less thing to worry about!
i would continue to practice with your dad's car, it doesn't harm your abilities to get used to a manual again, if needed, but you'll gain so much practice just for the driving part. Many people here on the thread write often that it's really the frequency of driving that makes and breaks confidence, and you'll get that under your belt easily enough.

 

[Lorny]

I'm 24 and I got my license 5 years ago but I have only recently started driving again due to anxiety.
I learnt on a manual (required in my country to get a full driving license) and switching gears and handling the clutch was always the biggest issue with driving for me because I'm very uncoordinated and I find it very difficult to focus on all these things plus the road, the speed etc. Recently my dad got a small automatic car and he suggested trying it. I started driving again on that and it's been much better, I feel a lot more confident.
Do you think I should give up trying to drive manual and focus on gaining confidence and being able to at least drive automatic cars? Manual cars are still very common in my country so I'm kind of worried that I might need to know how to drive a manual in the future and I won't be able to. I'm a little hesitant to give up completely. On the other hand I feel like by practicing on my dad's automatic car I can at least ensure I can drive something lol. I also feel like once I get confident and I can drive independently on an automatic, if I ever need it I can re-learn to drive manuals more easily. What do you think?

I am not in a huge hurry to pick up driving again because as of now I live in a city with public transport and I never really need to drive, but I'd like to be a confident driver as soon as possible so I can move to a cheaper place and have more job opportunities.

Eta: I hope I got all the terminology right, English isn't my first language and I don't usually talk about cars in English

Absolutely continue practicing in your dad’s car. I passed my test in a manual but didn’t drive again for 13 years until I took refresher lessons in an automatic. My driving anxiety is ridiculous but it is just because I left it so long, I drive but I hate it if I had started to drive again at your age I think I would have been a lot more relaxed about it all.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Any tips for city driving

 

[Kim Mild]

Any tips for city driving

Be aware of no car lanes, you'll likely get a fine in the post.
Clean air zones / ulez , your car may be compliant , your area may not have restrictions.
Permit holder only parking, especially on weekdays.

 

[37BBL]

Today is the day I'm driving my son to the academy session. I've checked the route multiple times on maps and feel sick every time I think of the journey.
I keep telling myself it could be worse, I could have to drive him further away, or at rush hour or into a busy city. It's not, it's 13 miles, 25 minutes and I will be fine.
I have to leave at 645 and then coming back leave at 830 so the roads should be quiet. I don't know why I am panicking so much. I'm popping to boots on my lunch break to get some kalms rescue remedy as I think it might help.

 

[Codiaeum]

Today is the day I'm driving my son to the academy session. I've checked the route multiple times on maps and feel sick every time I think of the journey.
I keep telling myself it could be worse, I could have to drive him further away, or at rush hour or into a busy city. It's not, it's 13 miles, 25 minutes and I will be fine.
I have to leave at 645 and then coming back leave at 830 so the roads should be quiet. I don't know why I am panicking so much. I'm popping to boots on my lunch break to get some kalms rescue remedy as I think it might help.

Oh dear, I know what you're going through, but you will be fine! You're making it up much scarier in your mind than it will be. You are well prepared, you have looked up any relevant info multiple times and the time of the day is very much on your side with likely less traffic than normal. It'll be over quickly. And if you really need a moment to calm and collect your thoughts you could pull up and just breathe a moment.
Good luck I'm sure you'll do fine.

 

[37BBL]

Got the rescue remedy and had a pastille already. They worked for me for some uni exams so even if its a placebo I'll take it
My sons a great companion in the car and will encourage me if I panic a bit. I've told him we can get a celebratory mcdonalds on the way home so I'll reward myself with that!

 

[Millennial Pink]

Got the rescue remedy and had a pastille already. They worked for me for some uni exams so even if its a placebo I'll take it
My sons a great companion in the car and will encourage me if I panic a bit. I've told him we can get a celebratory mcdonalds on the way home so I'll reward myself with that!

That sounds lovely. You're going at a nice quiet time so it'll breeze by!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Today is the day I'm driving my son to the academy session. I've checked the route multiple times on maps and feel sick every time I think of the journey.
I keep telling myself it could be worse, I could have to drive him further away, or at rush hour or into a busy city. It's not, it's 13 miles, 25 minutes and I will be fine.
I have to leave at 645 and then coming back leave at 830 so the roads should be quiet. I don't know why I am panicking so much. I'm popping to boots on my lunch break to get some kalms rescue remedy as I think it might help.

How did you get on?

 

[37BBL]

I did it I was so worried but kept calm and before I knew it we had 10 minutes left and were in the residential area.
A couple cars overtook me but I wasn't bothered.
The way back was probably a bit worse as it was dark but just took it steady. I won't love it next week, not sure I'll ever love driving further out of my town, but I'll be much less nervous!
And my son absolutely smashed his first session and we had a nugget share box once we got back home