Driving - Anxiety

[MoistPlinth]

I always found the thought of driving to places was worse than the actual driving. I’m usually fine once in the car. Thinking about it beforehand though turns me into an overthinking mess.

I passed my test in 1998 and didn’t drive on a motorway till 2019! Mainly this was because I hadn’t needed to and my ex had done all the long drives. So I was bricking it the first few times but I’m fine (mostly) now. Long drives stress me as I find concentrating for a long time hard - I’m autistic, and think i probably have adhd too, so long drives really take it out of me.

Having sat nav definitely helps - even if I take a wrong turn it will guide me to where I need to be - apart from the one time it told me to down a bridleway! I check out parking on Google street view as parking is one of my big stressors.

part of my worries before was because of having crap cars and worrying about breaking down, which happened a few times. Now I’ve got a decent car it’s less of a worry.

 

[Lalla]

I completely agree the thinking about it can be worse. The main thing for me is the parking situation - but even then I now tell myself there's always a space somewhere, you just might have a slightly longer walk at the end of it (I went to a family party recently at one end of a long road - all the nearest parking spots involved a parallel park - which I can't do - so I just kept driving down the road til I found an 'end' space - which in reality just meant I had a walk that was a couple of mins longer, but saved myself a lot of stress in the process!).

I find motorway driving easier now because you don't have all the hazards you find on local roads, people reversing out without looking, cyclists, pedestrians, people on those stupid electric scooters etc. I didn't drive on a motorway for 3 years after I passed my test, mainly because I had a crap car that could barely get up to 60. However once I did it once (in a better, more reliable car) my confidence grew massively.

 

[Magnolia4]

As soon as I’m on faster streets (70/80km/h) with only one lane each way and no divider between (there’s a lot where I live) I get so stressed about accidentally driving onto the opposite lane and hitting a car it’s so stupid but makes me so stressed controlling the car properly, especially on curves - basically as long as faster driving is required it becomes stressful. My brain goes into this anxious mode painting crazy accidents scenarios Any tips?

 

[Upintheair83]

As soon as I’m on faster streets (70/80km/h) with only one lane each way and no divider between (there’s a lot where I live) I get so stressed about accidentally driving onto the opposite lane and hitting a car it’s so stupid but makes me so stressed controlling the car properly, especially on curves - basically as long as faster driving is required it becomes stressful. My brain goes into this anxious mode painting crazy accidents scenarios Any tips?

Me too! I think someone is going to hit me head on! Such bad anxiety of those type of roads. I'm so sorry I don't have any advice! I'm in the same boat!

I have massive anxiety around parking though, that's the worst for me! I hate that people are watching me and I feel in a panic and rush to do the manoeuvre. And I cant think straight. It's a horrible feeling. I wish I could stop this anxiety but I just don't like driving at all. Iv just downsized my car (I had a volvo xc60) as I couldnt park it at all and ended up hitting another car in a car park which destroyed my confidence. I definitely feel more confident in a small car.

 

[Lorny]

Me too! I think someone is going to hit me head on! Such bad anxiety of those type of roads. I'm so sorry I don't have any advice! I'm in the same boat!

I have massive anxiety around parking though, that's the worst for me! I hate that people are watching me and I feel in a panic and rush to do the manoeuvre. And I cant think straight. It's a horrible feeling. I wish I could stop this anxiety but I just don't like driving at all. Iv just downsized my car (I had a volvo xc60) as I couldnt park it at all and ended up hitting another car in a car park which destroyed my confidence. I definitely feel more confident in a small car.

It’s parking for me too. Unless it’s a massive car park where I know I’ll be guaranteed a space where I don’t have to park in between 2 cars I get myself so uptight. I have a tiny car but I may as well be parking an HGV I’ve driven more than I usually would this week and I do feel better for it. Driving just takes so much out of me mentally.

 

[37BBL]

Weirdly parking isn't an issue for me, I'll happily squeeze into a space.
Driving on fast roads is though, I also have the same fear of someone hitting me head on, i really struggle above 50mph.

 

[Lorny]

I was in a small car park today and the only space left was between a car and a disabled parking space which was empty. I went to reverse in and the driver of the car appears as I’m parking and just stands and stares at me. I was at the side of her passenger door so she could have jumped in her car and waited for me to park up but no she stood and watched me reverse. This was my idea of hell, I just wouldn’t do that to anyone. I just parked up to let her piss off before I straightened the car properly but as she was reversing out of her space she just kept staring at me. I wasn’t going to hit her car, I was doing just fine but her staring like that made me feel so nervous.

 

[Upintheair83]

I was in a small car park today and the only space left was between a car and a disabled parking space which was empty. I went to reverse in and the driver of the car appears as I’m parking and just stands and stares at me. I was at the side of her passenger door so she could have jumped in her car and waited for me to park up but no she stood and watched me reverse. This was my idea of hell, I just wouldn’t do that to anyone. I just parked up to let her piss off before I straightened the car properly but as she was reversing out of her space she just kept staring at me. I wasn’t going to hit her car, I was doing just fine but her staring like that made me feel so nervous.

I'd hate that too. It would make me so panicky. So I really feel your pain.
I was driving today (in my new car) and my partner was in the passenger. I was driving down a busy road with cars parked on one side, anyway I held back to let them pass and my partner said 'just go don't let them go!go!' So I drove on and clipped the side of the kerb and he started moaning at me for doing it. I'm still getting used to the car, get nervous with passengers and he's moaning at me and making me feel like tit. Its proper knocked my confidence. I wouldn't have even gone had he not said go! So now iv scuffed the side

 

[lucyloo11]

I’ve been driving 24 years and still refuse to drive on motorways or drive out of the county I live in. I’ve tried it a couple of times and get so flustered, sweaty and panicky that it’s just not worth it. I’m quite happy to let my husband do the long distances
I also hate driving with any of my work colleagues in the car so worm out of it as much as possible.
We only have street parking at home so I’ve had to learn to reverse park but when I have a wobble I park all the way down the road

 

[Millennial Pink]

I'm still terrible at reverse parallel parking. I was in a fluster a few months ago, tried reverse parking into one space, cocked it up, gave up. Tried reversing into a space further up (that you could have fit a bus in) and messed that up too. Gave up in the end. I need to practise more but it stresses me out.

 

[37BBL]

I’ve been driving 24 years and still refuse to drive on motorways or drive out of the county I live in. I’ve tried it a couple of times and get so flustered, sweaty and panicky that it’s just not worth it. I’m quite happy to let my husband do the long distances
I also hate driving with any of my work colleagues in the car so worm out of it as much as possible.
We only have street parking at home so I’ve had to learn to reverse park but when I have a wobble I park all the way down the road

This is my relationship too. Husband always does long distance. Tbh I wish I could do motorway but I honestly feel I will never be able to do it.

 

[no-no]

Does anyone have a blip that sets them back? I try to be a defensive driver but today I’m kicking myself over a turn. I usually always ignore other peoples’ indicators and should have waited so will have that at the forefront of my mind now, but when stuff like this happens I get so upset with myself. I haven’t found driving fun for a few years now, there’s too much to second-guess all the time and at mini roundabouts you’re like a meerkat because people don’t yield.

 

[37BBL]

I do yeah. I was doing so well with my anxiety and have been taking my son to his football in another town which has been fine. A couple weeks back my husband and son were going to watch Aston Villa and I had to take my daughter to her session which was quite far away. He would usually do it. I looked at maps and just couldn't commit myself to doing it. My dad ended up taking us which he didn't mind but I felt tit afterwards. On the drive though it was lots of dual carriageways and merging onto lanes, busy roundabouts and dark lanes. I would have panicked and not been able to do but I felt tit after.
It's other people I am always aware of, that I'm going to slow and they'll overtake me or that I need to switch lane and they'll get annoyed.

 

[Millennial Pink]

Yeah, got lost on my way home from the coast on Saturday, ended up in another town making repeated wrong turns on their strange, overly complicated junctions and stressed myself out. Need to drive somewhere tonight, so hopefully that will be nice and calm since I know those roads well.

 

[Codiaeum]

I had a weird one today picked up my car as usual and drove the usual way to my appointment - there was some road construction work meaning that it was partially blocked, but I surprised myself not being bothered about that at all and just calmly drove through the narrow way they had marked.

Since I use a carsharing app, I have to return the car by a specific point in time and I noticed it was getting a little bit tight, but it all should work out. Drove back, passed the construction work fine again and when I went to the designated parking area where I need to return the car at, I saw that all were already occupied. This isn't how it should work, as these spaces, in theory, are only for the carsharing company's car. And given that I drove an electric car, that also means if I can't park it there, I can't charge it. I had about 2 min to find a different space and that really threw me off at first, but I managed to reverse and find a slot and parallel park without any mishaps.
Don't think I would have managed though a few years back, when anything unexpected gave me cold sweat.

 

[Millennial Pink]

So, my nice calm drive was... not. The sat nav took me through town (I was using google maps to avoid traffic, not drive IN it!) and I had to deal with all the ring roads and roundabouts. Absolute chaos. There was one 'incident' on a roundabout that I have no idea if it was my fault or the other driver's (no one died, we both just had to slow down unexpectedly).
I really don't like it when there's a lot of big roundabouts in a short space of time where you have to:
a) figure out where the hell you're going
b) figure out which lane you need to be in when it's so busy you can barely see the signs
c) change lanes (into the wrong one, if you're me)
d) deal with every other driver who are also driving both erratically and extremely quicky.

Zero fun. I did managed to get parked at my destination with minimum fuss, so there's that.

 

[Former_Antelopee]

I'm going to a concert in a few weeks alone and I had a plan on driving most of the way to a family members house who would then drop me at venue and then I'd Uber back to my car after.
Now I'm trying to save money and thinking it'll be cheaper to just drive all the way. I'm anxious about parking at the venue though since it'll be busy. Maybe I'll get there as early as possible and just wait in my car for a bit

 

[Catfan2]

So, my nice calm drive was... not. The sat nav took me through town (I was using google maps to avoid traffic, not drive IN it!) and I had to deal with all the ring roads and roundabouts. Absolute chaos. There was one 'incident' on a roundabout that I have no idea if it was my fault or the other driver's (no one died, we both just had to slow down unexpectedly).
I really don't like it when there's a lot of big roundabouts in a short space of time where you have to:
a) figure out where the hell you're going
b) figure out which lane you need to be in when it's so busy you can barely see the signs
c) change lanes (into the wrong one, if you're me)
d) deal with every other driver who are also driving both erratically and extremely quicky.

Zero fun. I did managed to get parked at my destination with minimum fuss, so there's that.

Have you used the Waze app? It’s really good for avoiding traffic and will divert you if it knows there are problems. I hate ring roads and roundabouts too

 

[Flowergirl14]

I'm still terrible at reverse parallel parking. I was in a fluster a few months ago, tried reverse parking into one space, cocked it up, gave up. Tried reversing into a space further up (that you could have fit a bus in) and messed that up too. Gave up in the end. I need to practise more but it stresses me out.

I am also terrible at reverse parallel parking.
In January, a policeman saw me parking.
I got out of the car, and he said Madam, you cannot leave your car like that as you blocking it and cars won't be able to pass.
So I parked it again.
When I came out of the shop, he said Madam, I am very concerned about your parking - I am going to have to breathalyse you! - 3pm in the day.
I said I not had a drink this year - I was doing Dry January....
It was clear.
I decided to take Advanced Driving Lessons, and have had 7 lessons, and due to apply for my test
Advanced Driver | IAM RoadSmart .

If I pass, I hope my car insurance premiums will decrease.

 

[Upintheair83]

I am also terrible at reverse parallel parking.
In January, a policeman saw me parking.
I got out of the car, and he said Madam, you cannot leave your car like that as you blocking it and cars won't be able to pass.
So I parked it again.
When I came out of the shop, he said Madam, I am very concerned about your parking - I am going to have to breathalyse you! - 3pm in the day.
I said I not had a drink this year - I was doing Dry January....
It was clear.
I decided to take Advanced Driving Lessons, and have had 7 lessons, and due to apply for my test
Advanced Driver | IAM RoadSmart .

If I pass, I hope my car insurance premiums will decrease.

Gosh that would have stressed me out! I probably wouldn't have evem got back in thr car. So well done for you parking jt again. I'd have just left! I hope your advanced lessons go well. Xxx