Driving - Anxiety

[37BBL]

I did the drive today! It wasn't enjoyable, lots of slip roads and merging onto 3lane carriageways, but I managed it!
My legs were shaking on the first few mergings, but I did it and my boy got to his footy match early
Not sure I'll be driving into the city again any time soon, but I'm proud of myself for doing it!

 

[37BBL]

This is quite embarrassing but I'm hoping someone can resonate....I've had my driving licence since I was 18, I'm now 34. I can drive pretty much anywhere within about 15 miles of our town and I'm fine.

Ask me to go anywhere else and I am a panicking mess. I've never driven on the motorway and don't think I ever will. Me and my husband have just had a bicker because our son has a football game coming up which I need to take him to and I'm fretting about the drive. Its about 30 miles, lots of merging into bypasses and slip roads and just generally looks like a nightmare in my head. I've just spent 30 minutes examining the route on Google maps looking at different options and worrying. I wish I could just stick it on the sat nav and go like all the other parents will, but I always end up panicking.
I have a fear that I'll cut someone up or take a wrong turn and end up on the motorway.
Stupid I know, but please tell me someone else feels like this too!!!

 

[Former_Antelopee]

Someone told me they knew someone who just followed the bus when driving as it would drive to town and then back past their house. But one day they followed the bus and it went to the depot and they got stuck there as they wouldn’t drive without following the bus

 

[TheStrawberryThief]

Last weekend I drove up to Manchester to stay with my partner for a week ( currently long distance), and I got caught in horrible traffic due to an accident on the m62 closing the road.

I drove home today and the road was again closed due to an accident. My sat nav told me the diversion it had planned would add no more than 15 minutes to my journey home, so I set off a few minutes after 8am. I finally got home a few minutes after 12pm.


I joined the motorway, lulled into a false sense of security by what my satnav said. I would drive for about 15 minutes, leave the motorway, spend 15 minutes on local roads and be back on the motorway....

I heard the dreaded reroute ping several times.

The diversion took around an hour. I went along duel carriage ways, through suburbs, down the High Street of lovely little villages. I went up and down hills and saw pubs that must only cater to the hardiest of hikers. I saw several reservoirs I had never seen before. I saw a town I didn't recognise on the other side of a valley. At one point I parked at an aldi and went for a look around the store for a break from driving.

I eventually joined the m62 again. I was about 15 minutes down the road from where I left it. Still had 90 minutes to go. Had to take another break at Wetherby services as I was feeling drained and was both hungry and desperate for the loo.

I am not sure how i managed to do this drive. My entire body is aching, I an utterly exhausted

However, I am so proud of myself. This was the most difficult drive I have ever accomplished. I held it together, I didn't make any mistakes and I didn't stop to have a cry.

 

[Codiaeum]

I’m baaaaack! And I nailed it, it was no problem at all,even though it wasn’t only the first chunk of the way that was unfamiliar, it was also a different car model. Normally I get a Fiesta, but this was a Corsa, so similar, but the gears were different. It’s a stupid thing to be happy about, but I was quite proud of myself, hahah

 

[TheStrawberryThief]

I had an incident before Christmas, some bloke tailgated my car all the way to a roundabout and then started honking when I didn't immediately set off driving in half a second as I was still checking it was safe to go. I just froze and hit the break. Sat there for about 30 seconds as I couldn't work out when to go as I couldn't concentrate and panicking.

When I set off he followed me along the road honking for a bit, before turning into a side street.

I hate when people do this. It is not your job to police other peoples driving, you are not the Police or the DVLA. It only makes the person your are honking scared and they will drive worse.

The rest of the journey I was shaking and kept making mistakes. Since then I have lost confidence in myself, I am having to force myself to get into the car as I know that if I start making excuses to not drive I will stop driving.

 

[sarahlbx]

I feel your pain but I am a new driver. It took me a year to learn, originally I was fine, excited to learn and a confident learner and driver, just two weeks before I was to take my test, someone smacked into the back of me when I was stationary at an island. It’s absolutely destroyed me, it took me an additional 6 months to pass and severe anxiety since, I can literally drive regular routes - school run, friends, supermarket, parents anything else I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s horrible. I was so looking forward to the freedom it would give me and now I hate it

 

[klarakluckbag]

Oh god, I do feel your pain. I learned to drive 12 years ago and I've driven almost every day since then, including into central London every day for work, but I still panic at the thought of driving for 30 mins on the local A road, to go and see my sister.
I do the Google maps thing too, I even write down instructions for myself in case I get lost!
It's silly really, I'm an experienced and (mostly) safe driver, so I don't know why I panic about going on an unfamiliar journey, it's not like I'm going on a bloody safari, it's the wilds of Kent, it's actually quite hard to get lost, even on the confusing roundabouts and slip roads.

I think that sometimes, you just have to push yourself to go out and do it. You've been driving for almost half of your life. Statistics show that women are better drivers, we don't take silly risks and we don't tend to show off, especially with our kids in the car. You're going to plan your route carefully, but even if you take the wrong turn-off, it's not a big deal, you can always go another way. It's not likely that you'll cut someone up, but if you do, so what? You'll get a beep, and possibly a rude gesture/swear word or two...welcome to my world (everyone drives like a dick in London...including me!)

You can do this, you know that you can. It's a confidence thing, you just need to give yourself a kick up the backside!

 

[Kim Mild]

I can drive where I'm familiar, but I hate going anywhere new. I also hate driving with an audience, so I can only really tolerate small children as passengers.
I think I've got worse over the years.

The thought of having to drive my kids to unfamiliar cities for uni is scary.

 

[jawidjanqndn]

I just hate people who sit right on your arse when you are going the speed limit!! Even if I’m doing slightly under just fucking overtake! Please don’t sit right on my arse making me feel nervous because 9/10 I’m going to go even slower I’d rather you die on the roads going too fast than me so do whatever you want.

 

[jawidjanqndn]

This is my worst nightmare! Were you ok? Did it help cure your aversion to motorways?

It was actually fine! I saw the blue sign and my heart literally stopped (had to turn my music all the way down and focus), luckily it was fairly quiet so had no issues merging or anything. I stayed in the left lane and took the first exit off, I actually think it’s helped! I wouldn’t be as scared if I had to do it again - this was my first time on a motorway baring in mind still got a fear though

I came to a massive roundabout after (with about 5 lanes) which was 10x harder but I did it, I was probably in the wrong lane but luckily there was only a few cars about 10/10 do not reccomend, I need a boyfriend to drive me about… passenger princess life is the life for me

 

[Lorny]

This will sound absolutely mental but I drove on the motorway earlier and left an hour before my usual time for feeling confident on the motorway. Usually wait until after 9:30pm but left at 8:30. When I arrived I even managed a decent parallel park it’s took me ages to get anywhere with my confidence driving any distances but I didn’t feel panicky getting in the car tonight. Small wins.

 

[Kim Mild]

I've been trying to think about why I get so anxious. I'm sure my ability to do it is fine ,as is my observation and concentration ( at least for the short journeys I do) .

Part of it is that I'm afraid of doing something 'wrong' and being criticised. Even though other drivers make sloppy mistakes and nothing comes of it. I don't know who I expect to do this criticising and what their consequences are but anyway. I'm a bit like that in other aspects of live too.

I'm scared of the car breaking. Even though its highly unlikely that a car would just conk out . When I've had car troubles in the past I've always either been at home, managed to get back home , or I've been able to park up somewhere off the road.

I'm really conscious of noises or feelings from the car , and I can tell if these change.

A lot of it is in my head , I think .

 

[lilchicken]

i could have written this! Exactly how I feel too!

same!

I was walking my dog the other day and a car stopped beside me on the road waiting for lights. The driver had all the windows down and was blasting god awful music. She hit the curb completely and must’ve done some real damage to her allows, but seemed pretty unphased. Her car was covered in scraped and marks. Her Frenchie was in the back seat, totally unsecured. She proceeded to beep someone ahead of her because they took a franction of a second too long to take off when the lights turned green.

I thought - FFS if there are people like that driving along the roads, who clearly do not gaf then I really don’t need to worry about me, there are bigger problems out there.

drove myself and my fiancé to the coast that same weekend without any problems.

I think it’s our inner people pleasers that make us too worried about what other people/drivers think.

 

[Lalla]

Tailgating gets right on my nerves. Last weekend I needed to nip to Sainsburys, the satnav was telling me my usual route was congested due to road works so it took me via a nearby dual carriageway which is a 50mph speed limit.

I was driving my son's car which struggles to do much above 50, and was probably doing about 45mph, pootling along in the inside lane (as it was only a couple of miles to where I needed to come off). The road is 3 lanes wide. A small lorry bombs up behind me and then tailgated me the whole way to my exit. Even when I increased my speed up to 50 he was still right on my bumper. There wasn't much traffic so he could easily have overtaken me but didn't. Dick.

 

[Lahne]

I’m even worse than you. I drive a few short, familiar routes with no problems but ask me to drive anywhere I haven’t driven before and I just can’t do it even if it’s only 10 minutes. I panic if there is a diversion because I don’t know how to drive on that particular road. I (no word of a lie) avoid any route where I have to turn right at traffic lights because I always think I’m going to fuck it up. So many other things I avoid on the road too. Motorways…there is no way in hell I will go near one, I can’t even do a dual carriageway without a full on melltdown. I absolutely loathe driving.
---
To add to my list of failings: parallel parking is a thing that I simply cannot do as is backing into a parking space. Nope. Just can’t and it doesn’t matter how many times I try. That said, I am excellent at squeezing into tiny parking bays going in forwards.

 

[bxiley]

This! I heard someone bragging they were doing over 100mph on the motorway the other day

People laugh at me for being such a cautious driver but why wouldn't you be?!

I think this is the root of my driving anxiety. I can control my driving, but I can't control others, and you never know what idiotic move they might pull. When the roads are empty, I'm totally fine!

 

[Magnolia4]

I would be the world’s best driver if I could do it some place where no other cars exist

 

[jawidjanqndn]

This sounds so silly but I recently went on holiday and just flying over the uk put everything into perspective for me. Watching the roads and how many roundabouts, cars, lanes.. you name it we actually have, it’s crazy! And then you keep going higher up and realise how small and insignificant these roads are, it doesn’t matter if you are in the wrong lane or whether you might take the wrong exit at a roundabout.

of course I still get anxious about driving but it’s definitely helped put it into perspective and how it really isn’t the end of the world! I drove an hour away from home last week which is the furthest I’ve done! Super proud of myself. Sometimes the drive in your head really isn’t as big as you make it out to be.

I did mention a few weeks back that I had to go on the motorway for a work trip, (I have managed to get a lift there now). So my anxiety hasn’t gone away entirely and I’m not sure it ever will, but thought I’d share if it would help anyone going on holiday soon. Just a nice thought as you are flying over the UK x

 

[Nonocat]

I was v similar before lockdown and decided to take motorway lessons to improve my confidence. If you haven’t done them I’d really recommend - next weekend I’m driving from the peak district to London & it won’t bother me, whereas three years ago I wouldn’t have even considered it as an option.