I’m in accountancy and wfh most of the time. It is handy but I would rather be in the office more. I don’t want to spend the next 30 years at home on my own talking to a screen!
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I don't want to be too outing incase anyone reads this and recognises my company however our office building has a "quiet" area where people can go to work if they need no distractions etc. People are encouraged to go, it's totally fine etc.
I went there this week to write a report as I needed the peace and quiet without the hustle and bustle of my main office. I got the report done in that time I was there.
Boss finds out and told me he think it's not beneficial to me and that I shouldn't go there at all. He found it "odd" I disappeared to that quiet area and said that he doesn't want me going there anymore. bleeping hell, talk about micromanaging.
Upset me a little as I need the quiet. I find it so hard to focus when people are banging on about what they're doing that evening/office gossip etc. I just feel he's taken away something I need to focus on work.
I went there this week to write a report as I needed the peace and quiet without the hustle and bustle of my main office. I got the report done in that time I was there.
Boss finds out and told me he think it's not beneficial to me and that I shouldn't go there at all. He found it "odd" I disappeared to that quiet area and said that he doesn't want me going there anymore. bleeping hell, talk about micromanaging.
Upset me a little as I need the quiet. I find it so hard to focus when people are banging on about what they're doing that evening/office gossip etc. I just feel he's taken away something I need to focus on work.
Uhm, what @User_name_100, your company specifically designs an area that you can use if you need quiet and your boss decides that's not for you to use? duck it, I'd probably be at HR about that. Those spaces are usually a public area for anyone to use, for example to get away from micromanaging tossers.
(I loooove the quiet area in of my companies' offices. If I worked there, I'd live in that area).
(I loooove the quiet area in of my companies' offices. If I worked there, I'd live in that area).
I do feel as if my boss has it in for me and this is just a way to control me.
He's a very very micromanaging boss I've found.
My partner says it's probably because he can't see me so can't see what I'm up to. Not that I'm doing anything but work anyway.
But it's all about the control isn't it?Upset me as it just feels he's made a massive mountain out of a molehill. It's ridiculous. I'm also genuinely a bit gutted as I do need absolute silence sometimes to crack on.
basically anything in an office will have hybrid/remote
It's 3am and I'm up applying for jobs.
There is nothing crueler than your boss sending you a message on Teams at 5pm saying they don't think you'll last much longer in the job and that they will be making a decision on your future with the company next week, then logging off for the weekend without even giving me a chance to respond. This message came with no warning whatsoever, on a Friday night in such a cold and direct manner that I'm simply shocked.
There is nothing crueler than your boss sending you a message on Teams at 5pm saying they don't think you'll last much longer in the job and that they will be making a decision on your future with the company next week, then logging off for the weekend without even giving me a chance to respond. This message came with no warning whatsoever, on a Friday night in such a cold and direct manner that I'm simply shocked.
That's the fuckin pits and absolutely cruel - I hope you can find something, anything, to get out of there ASAP. No one deserves that.
And what if he's kind enough to keep you on? Competency procedures or something? Was this the first you'd heard of it?
Yeah first time he's ever brought up the subject of probation etc. He's never happy with my work but it's more his own personal opinion on it, rather than anything actually being wrong. Everyone else seems OK with the work I produce etc.
I can't believe the way he did that too, very sudden on a Friday evening and I swear he skipped offline the second he sent it.
I know now I have to leave. He's acting like God playing around with my livlihood. No decent manager would do it on a teams message on a Friday afternoon, with no prior warning or even offer of a face to face meeting. They also wouldn't have wrote it in the most coldest, direct and non personable manner ever. Even my partner, who is never shocked at anything, was dumbfounded at the way he did this.
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Best of luck with finding something new, stat. I'm glad you've got support and you recognise that this is a pattern of garbage behaviour from him culminating in a deliberate attempt to duck with you in your own time.
If you can face it, I think that this behaviour is definitely the sort of thing that is worth speaking with HR about because is it is just so far outside of reasonable professional conduct. . Understand if you're just completely done though.
Let us know how you get on
Thank you for listening to me. I feel very alone and to be honest my confidence and morale are now in the gutter.Best of luck with finding something new, stat. I'm glad you've got support and you recognise that this is a pattern of garbage behaviour from him culminating in a deliberate attempt to duck with you in your own time.
If you can face it, I think that this behaviour is definitely the sort of thing that is worth speaking with HR about because is it is just so far outside of reasonable professional conduct. . Understand if you're just completely done though.
Let us know how you get on
It's just not worth it - your confidence and morale, especially in a professional capacity, are so, so valuable and difficult to build up again once someone's knocked you down.
Moving on to even just a stop-gap role to give you breathing space to apply for something great is worth considering.
Against my better judgement and advice I stayed in a role for 3.5 years under a manager who was methodical and systematic in bullying and breaking me down, personally and professionally. I've never been so low in my life and 5 years and a couple of roles/promotions on and in a much better place in every way, I'm still haunted by self-doubt and mistrust in my own ability and fear of being fucked with by managers/ superiors that she instilled in me.
Don't do it to yourself, don't let them do it to you.
Thank you so much for your message.
I'm absolutely gutted as I enjoy the job, just not the boss! Thought I was finally getting on the right path in terms of career etc.
I'm so bleeping angry (excuse my swearing) that I'm using that anger to push forward and have re-wrote my CV and have sent out four quality applications this morning.
He is actually a bleeping coward as well.
I would have more respect for the bloke if he actually did it in a professional way. Face to face, with prior warning given to me and not on a Friday last thing before he skipped off into the sunset for the weekend. It is indeed cowardly and has ruined my entire weekend. I didn't sleep at all last night
I work in hospitality quite high up. I came back off maternity leave 8 months ago to find my previous deputy has now taken my job, higher ups are convinced we can 'run it together' but i now work less hours and feel over stepped.
however i would not get my salary for the days i wanted to work, with no responsibility (because the other guy is currently taking it all on), i thrive on responsibility and LOVE my job, but i am not being appreciated for what i can do and feel cast to the side since i've been back off maternity. Ive spoken to my boss and my co-worker, but i feel like im getting nowhere.
do i just stick out til LO is in nursery/school and find another job or do i push for more?
however i would not get my salary for the days i wanted to work, with no responsibility (because the other guy is currently taking it all on), i thrive on responsibility and LOVE my job, but i am not being appreciated for what i can do and feel cast to the side since i've been back off maternity. Ive spoken to my boss and my co-worker, but i feel like im getting nowhere.
do i just stick out til LO is in nursery/school and find another job or do i push for more?
I have had the bad announcement made at 5 on a Friday, to avoid discussion. Unfortunately for the person who decided to do that, I am a festerer. It added to my anger. And I totally made his life a misery after that. I paid him back with interest. If he had just had an honest and adult discussion it would have been different. He ended up more damaged than me.I would have more respect for the bloke if he actually did it in a professional way. Face to face, with prior warning given to me and not on a Friday last thing before he skipped off into the sunset for the weekend. It is indeed cowardly and has ruined my entire weekend. I didn't sleep at all last night
Are you in the UK? Probation periods should be specified in your contract of employment.
This really, really sucks. I'm so sorry it's all worked out like this. It's super demoralising.
I was going to suggest that you give it a bit of time, but re-reading I see it's been 8 months! You're not at all unreasonable to want some measure of job satisfaction, even though you do have it 'easy' just now (salary/days & hours which suit/responsibility) - it's why you got into the industry in the first place, I'd imagine.
Is it worth exploring the possibility taking on some "side projects"...? Since you've got the head space for it while Deputy is handling everything.
Idk what flavour of hospitality you're in, but I'm thinking things like events (reach out to new audiences), sustainability practices (reviewing suppliers & practices to see what can be done better and look for savings, then good PR), research into what competitors or other similar organisations in the industry are up to and what's working well for them....
As you say, it'd be great to stay where you are for now so looking for ways to make it more fulfilling for you would be a good place to start.
And if you do find you need to move on, you're in a good position to do that: jumping rather than being pushed. You've got time to look for as long as you need to, negotiate terms that work for you, etc.
(been there
) 
One thing I've learned from being in a male dominated industry is not to take any tit. It might just be that I am naturally a bit like that because the men listen to me.
If it's not you to be like that then fake it. Because men respond well to being told in a no nonsense way.
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