@TheGlossy that sounds aweful, I’m sorry that you have to keep up with that every day. I doubt it’s a personality thing as it does sound like a very controlling environment! I think I would start looking as well, it’s not the sort of thing that will change, especially if it’s cult-like “we are all family here”…. That never gets better.
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I guess it depends which industry you are in as some does need employees to be sociable.
However I would just complain to HR about it. Nobody should be forced to have “fun”
STAFF. Again. I don't know how they put their pants on in the morning without a photographic, step by step guide (with audio).
The general behaviour of kids in schools at the moment is making it very hard to enjoy my job 
Thank you.
Yeah, it is honestly stifling and controlling. It almost feels like school. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells. It’s not a good way to be.
Was off for a week and couldn't really switch off work at all because of the crap stuff going on there. It's a good company (mostly) and the work would actually be cool as well if it wasn't for the inter-personal stuff. I've never felt this before, but I'm dreading tomorrow so much that I feel physically sick from it 
I'm looking for something else, but haven't yet found anything and I also am scared of applying for "something".
I'm looking for something else, but haven't yet found anything and I also am scared of applying for "something".Hmmm, what's the worst that could happen? Keep looking, apply for stuff you like the sound of and see what you feel like doing when you have some more options. If you are feeling physically sick at the thought of going back to work, what do you really have to lose by looking outside?Was off for a week and couldn't really switch off work at all because of the crap stuff going on there. It's a good company (mostly) and the work would actually be cool as well if it wasn't for the inter-personal stuff. I've never felt this before, but I'm dreading tomorrow so much that I feel physically sick from it
---
My company is like that, and honestly, if I were related to the majority of them I would move countries immediately and not tell them my address (I am looking for a new job but am in quite a niche industry so it's a bit of a waiting game). The whole 'we are like family' is a MAJOR red flag, means there are no (or very limited) boundaries and you are expected to put up with constant crap. I work with some absolute C U next Tuesday's and senior managements view is, oh, that's just how that person is, when in fact, they need managing properly and someone to tell them that being an hole simply isn't on.
Last edited:
I love my actual job, but I can not stand unsupportive managers who make you feel on edge!
Oh my goodness, this sounds exactly like a conversation that I had the other day. My manager called me in & said she had concerns around my leadership but that there were no actual examples she could give me. I’ve just come out the other side of being involved in a grievance case & literally getting back on my feet after it knocked my confidence a little, and she said she was worried that I wasn’t aware & didn’t take in what was going on because I had appeared to show it no emotion or I was handling it well or putting on a front?! Said she was concerned she was getting the genuine me & that other managers had commented on my personality on random day of the week when we all went bowling on the back of a meeting and said how much fun & craic I’d seemed to be having. I wasn’t long back from Mat Leave at that time. When I returned from Mat Leave I returned with a spring in my step as I genuinely love my job & I got told to be careful as I can come across as being patronising?! The ironic thing is although it was a talk about me not showing emotion, I felt so frustrated I burst into tears & broke down in front of my manager, she literally just sat there and looked at me didn’t get up to give me a hug or anything not that I wanted one, but you know, if that was one my own team I’d have been up off my seat. So 3 months ago I got told to be careful as I can come across patronising & now 12 weeks later it’s turned into concerns around my leadership? She also told me how ‘nice’ of a time my team had with the manager who covered me on Mat leave whilst I was off (what a way to make me feel good about myself, not), although my team told me a different story. So yeah, think I might report it to HR in the morning as it has upset me all weekend. She also told me I have the ‘professional hat’ on all the time? What’s wrong with that exactly? I’m at my work, I get the job done. I’m dumbfounded if anything and it has given me serious red flags & concerns around her own Leadership towards me or the lack of. I’m feeling very uncomfortable.
I think a lot of people get their validation from being at work. They think it makes them someone. And they get off on hierarchies and telling people how they should be. Managers who try to change their direct reports personality are on power trips. Critique outcomes and productivity sure, but telling you you are X or not enough Y or the team were happier when you were absent is out of line.
My boss was off site for two weeks and we had a brilliant time, no manager on site so we had to run the place ourselves and did a great job. It's led me to see it's not the job I hate its the manager and her style.
I think what follows is the last straw and shows how some managers can let power and self-obsession get to their heads.
At the end of last week, we were asked when we’d be in the office this week. Each person gave their days. We have a flexible schedule, no fixed days.
I said: ‘I’m going to be in on X days. These are usually my preferred days, but I’m happy to switch to fit everyone else or when need be’.
I pick the same days each week and it seems to be working fine as they always overlap with the rest of the team.
Today, I walk in at 9am and my manager is on a call with someone else in our team. My manager then proceeds to say ‘If anyone should say they have preferred days, it’s me because I have the highest workload. I’m the busiest one and I never said I have preferred days. If set days need to be put in place, it’s for me to decide, not her’.
I’m honestly in shock my manager thinks it’s appropriate to b*tch about one of heir reports to another one on an open floor for everyone to hear (not the first time).
Not only that, but my manager completely twisted what I said. I never asked to have fixed days note did I ever say people had to follow the same days as me.
The days I pick every week overlap with everyone’s. I honestly don’t see any rationale for my manager to get worked up over this.
Absolutely inappropriate behavior (not the first time).
I worked
---
Well with CBT sometimes it's not the therapy it is the therapist that makes the treatment effective
---
Or is it when the boss is away you can do what you want.Just curious
It’s always people who don’t seem to have much of a life outside of work who are like this . One of my colleagues is obsessed with making snide remarks about how I am a couple of grades below her in spite of the fact she’s a useless article who if she was managed correctly wouldn’t be in a job . There’s another colleague who seems to be emailing and doing work at nights and weekends even though it’s not that kind of industry .
Hope you're having an ok day! I think if you're dreading going into work THAT much, anything will be better than staying. Unless there's some super unique benefit that will be hard to find at a different company, things can only get better.Was off for a week and couldn't really switch off work at all because of the crap stuff going on there. It's a good company (mostly) and the work would actually be cool as well if it wasn't for the inter-personal stuff. I've never felt this before, but I'm dreading tomorrow so much that I feel physically sick from it
No we don't take the piss, we do the work and we do it well. We are social workers so we can't skive. The boss is quite highly stung, she'll come in while we are working on something in a panic about something else - usually something minor - and we'll all have to stop what we are doing to focus on that one thing.
While she was gone we had a rake of incidents to deal with but we managed them with calm and patience, anything that could be put off was parked while we covered the most urgent needs and it worked really well.
Absolutely same here. It's heaven when the boss is away. I get SO much done. Cross, cross, cross of the part of thee to do list I never usually get to.
Oooofff, I work with a sad case like that, emailing at all hours when their actual hours are 9-5. They are always up in everyone else's business as well.
I've recently requested to change teams as I really disliked what I was doing on my team. My new team asked for me personally and were really keen to get me in due to my experience which was great. The new team is the same basic premise but with many differences also. So I new that some training would definitely be required and I was happy to take on the challenge as its a big step up and much more complicated than what I was doing before.
Now I'm in and I've received no training whatsoever and I'm being sent work to do which is quite a struggle with no training
am I regretting it?? A little bit
Now I'm in and I've received no training whatsoever and I'm being sent work to do which is quite a struggle with no training
am I regretting it?? A little bit so annoyed again, I'm getting conflicting information everywhere, so regardless of what I do, it is wrong in the end. Moreover, I noticed that my "manager partner" (we both manage a team) tends to let things drift so that I will take care of it. I'm not his secretary and if he wants to see something written down, he should just go and write it, not make snarky suggestions that it should be in the text, we work in a collaborate document system....- Status