Oh bore off
Jesus Christ Demi if you're life is so terrible that sticking pieces of paper into a book helps, you do you kid. But why is it terrible? Is it time to sit down with the man you're living with and ask if both of you are happy? I think it is pet. Because you have gone completely off the rails since buying that house together, its not normal to struggle like this, teething problems yes, but years later no. It's also not normal to care about what others think, its clear YouTube, the "career" the "relationship" the "business" is for other peoples benefit. I'm quite sure your school chums never give you a seconds thought and are quite happy living their own lives.
Again Jesus.
And by the way you sorta broke GDPR in that video, buyers names and orders are not for YouTube videos.