Dating in Lockdown #2 The audacity of men

[leapricot]

My friend's partner doesn't wipe his bum properly, he leaves skiddies on the towels after he showers
(He's a total POS, she puts up with way too much from him!)

Sometime last year i saw a guy a few times and he came round mine to have sexy time. The first time, after he left, I noticed something brownish on my sheet. Thought it was odd as there was nothing before he came round but thought i'd give him the benefit of the doubt (and immediately washed my sheet). Then the week after, again, he comes round, and after he left, this brown stain AGAIN. Needless to say he never came back after this

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Actions speak louder than words is something I swear by, which is why I’m so quick to cut people dead at the first sniff of a red flag. Anyone can say anything. It’s what they do that shows you the true measure of them and the old, well-worn Instagram quote “When someone shows you who they are, believe them” It’s over used and almost feels like a cliche now, but it’s so so accurate.

 

[Woolmercardington]

Actions speak louder than words is something I swear by, which is why I’m so quick to cut people dead at the first sniff of a red flag. Anyone can say anything. It’s what they do that shows you the true measure of them and the old, well-worn Instagram quote “When someone shows you who they are, believe them” It’s over used and almost feels like a cliche now, but it’s so so accurate.

I have a friend who gets completely enraptured in texting. She's had so many one-sided crushes on men since I've known her, and not men from apps, men we know through our involvement in theatre groups. Many of them really lovely guys. She'll initiate texting, instigate flirting and then fully believe the guy is into her, but yet none of these men ever ask her out.

She pins all hope on text flirtation that literally goes nowhere and is then equally surprised and disappointed to find out the bloke has started seeing someone else in the meantime.

 

[alwayslurkin]

I have a friend who gets completely enraptured in texting. She's had so many one-sided crushes on men since I've known her, and not men from apps, men we know through our involvement in theatre groups. Many of them really lovely guys. She'll initiate texting, instigating flirting and then fully believe the guy is into her, but yet none of these men ever ask her out.

She pins all hope on text flirtation that literally goes nowhere and is then equally surprised and disappointed to find out the bloke has started seeing someone else in the meantime.

I can sort of relate... I'm texting someone at the moment and it's going really well, but I'm so nervous about meeting him this weekend as what if I've just imagined it all from the texts it's making me so nervous

 

[Thank(space)you]

I've got a date on Sunday, he seems lovely. We've been talking for almost 2 weeks, he's never been inappropriate towards me in his messages. He always messages me first, and always messages me goodnight. I'm just waiting for the red flags to reveal themselves

 

[Woolmercardington]

I can sort of relate... I'm texting someone at the moment and it's going really well, but I'm so nervous about meeting him this weekend as what if I've just imagined it all from the texts it's making me so nervous

You're actually meeting the guy, though, so something is at least happening in the real world away from texting.

 

[alwayslurkin]

You're actually meeting the guy, though, so something is at least happening in the real world away from texting.

True! It's exciting to meet him after what feels like ages (when in reality, it hasn't been that long) but I think it just adds to the nerves because I want it to go well, rather than being blase about it like I usually am

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I have a friend who gets completely enraptured in texting. She's had so many one-sided crushes on men since I've known her, and not men from apps, men we know through our involvement in theatre groups. Many of them really lovely guys. She'll initiate texting, instigate flirting and then fully believe the guy is into her, but yet none of these men ever ask her out.

She pins all hope on text flirtation that literally goes nowhere and is then equally surprised and disappointed to find out the bloke has started seeing someone else in the meantime.

Oh girl, there’s definitely one of these in every friendship group One of mine is exactly the same, planning their future together before they’ve even met, only for the rest of us to end up talking her down off a ledge when things invariably come to a grinding halt.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Does anyone in Newcastle need a date this weekend?
I remember him asking to meet me over the bank hol but I haven’t spoken to this person in months.

 

[D_Wills]

I can sort of relate... I'm texting someone at the moment and it's going really well, but I'm so nervous about meeting him this weekend as what if I've just imagined it all from the texts it's making me so nervous

Im also the same

 

[Clarissah]

Ive been on quite a few first dates with people I've met on dating apps but I never like anyone enough to go on a second. Last week I went on a date with someone I have been talking to for a while and I ended up really liking him even though I really didn't expect to. We've been trying to plan a second date be we couldn't find a day that we are both free so the conversation eventually just fizzled out.
I showed my brother the convo and he told me that it seemed that I couldn't care less that we couldn't find a day and the guy obviously just gave up. I tried so hard to not seem keen (because I was VERY keen) that I took it to the other extreme then I felt so annoyed with myself and in a fit of rage I deleted his number (yes I am insane why do you ask) but now that I have calmed down and I'm thinking more rationaly I realise how easy it would be for me to fix it, but I can't bloody message him can I because I don't have his bloody number
My only hope now is that by some miracle his messages me again but I highly doubt it
Im so sick of myself honestly hhahahhahah

I think this is the standard problem we face with dating these days. Too many games. Don't be too keen. Don't message first. Don't double message. All that gets us is being alone.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

My friend always says to me you have to give your 100% and take the risk, all or nothing.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

My friend always says to me you have to give your 100% and take the risk, all or nothing.

I think a lot of people are scared of this. My greatest fear is dying alone. All this taking risks/ risking it all (feelings etc) for someone only to be picked and dropped whenever or dropped even further, maybe a bit more damaged, less trusting than where you started is exhausting. Often picking yourself up after something ends is the hardest part!

One of my best friends is pregnant and was ditched by her boyfriend recently. It was a lockdown situation but they had been in the same college years ago and reconnected. This boyfriend fathered another child with another girl a couple of months before he was with my friend she knew about the other girl and anticipated a DNA test as other girl had a few others on the go same time. Both babies are “hood twins” due this year ones been born others due in a few months. She’s essentially been ghosted by this guy as he’s blocked her from everything and everywhere. Although this has been sometimes how they conduct themselves
However..
Today this POS has been seen on tinder.
seriously WTAF is wrong with these men?!

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I think a lot of people are scared of this. My greatest fear is dying alone. All this taking risks/ risking it all (feelings etc) for someone only to be picked and dropped whenever or dropped even further, maybe a bit more damaged, less trusting than where you started is exhausting. Often picking yourself up after something ends is the hardest part!

One of my best friends is pregnant and was ditched by her boyfriend recently. It was a lockdown situation but they had been in the same college years ago and reconnected. This boyfriend fathered another child with another girl a couple of months before he was with my friend she knew about the other girl and anticipated a DNA test as other girl had a few others on the go same time. Both babies are “hood twins” due this year ones been born others due in a few months. She’s essentially been ghosted by this guy as he’s blocked her from everything and everywhere. Although this has been sometimes how they conduct themselves
However..
Today this POS has been seen on tinder.
seriously WTAF is wrong with these men?!

Sounds like a lad that added my Instagram from Tinder. He was only early 20s but had two babies born months apart, I immediately blocked him. They just want to get their dick wet and move on.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Sounds like a lad that added my Instagram from Tinder. He was only early 20s but had two babies born months apart, I immediately blocked him. They just want to get their dick wet and move on.

They’re both older than me. He’s 33!

 

[anonesk223]

Urrrrgh guys I fell asleep texting a guy I’m speaking to last night, messaged today after work. Getting the whole “you left me on read” and “am I that boring lol”

In other news I have 3 dates lined up... too much?

 

[twinkleunicorn]

Ive been on quite a few first dates with people I've met on dating apps but I never like anyone enough to go on a second. Last week I went on a date with someone I have been talking to for a while and I ended up really liking him even though I really didn't expect to. We've been trying to plan a second date be we couldn't find a day that we are both free so the conversation eventually just fizzled out.
I showed my brother the convo and he told me that it seemed that I couldn't care less that we couldn't find a day and the guy obviously just gave up. I tried so hard to not seem keen (because I was VERY keen) that I took it to the other extreme then I felt so annoyed with myself and in a fit of rage I deleted his number (yes I am insane why do you ask) but now that I have calmed down and I'm thinking more rationaly I realise how easy it would be for me to fix it, but I can't bloody message him can I because I don't have his bloody number
My only hope now is that by some miracle his messages me again but I highly doubt it
Im so sick of myself honestly hhahahhahah

Why don’t you message him and ask him?

 

[LittleBird]

I think this is the standard problem we face with dating these days. Too many games. Don't be too keen. Don't message first. Don't double message. All that gets us is being alone.

I was talking to my friend about this today, she's a bit older than me and just turned 40. She made a really good point that if you like someone, you shouldn't have to play games with them and just be straight up and honest with them so you both know where you stand.

She gave me the guts to organise date 3 with 3 bottles of wine man and just be blunt with him which is not my style. I've been trying to play it cool because I'm 29 (almost 30) and he's 26. He's genuinely hilarious and I think we're both quite into each other but taking it v slow. We've been talking for almost 2 months now and I actually really hope it blossoms into something cos I've invested a lot of time at this point . Usually they'd be in the whatsapp archives by now...

 

[Alexaj]

I was talking to my friend about this today, she's a bit older than me and just turned 40. She made a really good point that if you like someone, you shouldn't have to play games with them and just be straight up and honest with them so you both know where you stand.

I've read about this, I think it's called "truth bombing". As a result of the pandemic people are less inclined to play hard to get and they're truth bombing instead (thank you DM )

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I don’t like the truth bombers, they just do nothing for me I like a bit of a cat and mouse chase and some fire.