Dating after Lockdown

[Caramel Latte]

Hello i need help
How do i keep a guy interested when I'm inexperienced? I can be naïve and slightly dramatic?
He claims to be laid back, straightforward and somehow blunt. He thinks I'm too sensitive (I might be) and indirectly said that he'd have to tip toe around me and not be his blunt self.
I've been texting this guy for 3 weeks then we met (not technically a date but to get to know each other better than texting). We already knew each other superfically. He's 30 and I'm 25.
I like him as i had a crush on him long time ago.
We come from a Conservative background and dating is platonic before marriage

 

[Prinstress]

Hello i need help
How do i keep a guy interested when I'm inexperienced? I can be naïve and slightly dramatic?
He claims to be laid back, straightforward and somehow blunt. He thinks I'm too sensitive (I might be) and indirectly said that he'd have to tip toe around me and not be his blunt self.
I've been texting this guy for 3 weeks then we met (not technically a date but to get to know each other better than texting). We already knew each other superfically. He's 30 and I'm 25.
I like him as i had a crush on him long time ago.
We come from a Conservative background and dating is platonic before marriage

How did your ‘not technically a date’ go?
It sounds like you could be incompatible if his self assessment and yours are accurate, I know it’s tough but maybe just focus on getting to know eachother as friends without thinking too long term, especially as your background means you’d have to stay platonic until marriage?

In my personal experience people who self proclaim to be ‘straight forward’ or ‘blunt’ can translate to ‘opinionated hole who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings’

 

[lasttime]

Update on my situation, todays date didn't happen. During a conversation i asked if he's on fb and he said no. Told him I came across his profile the other day and he backtracked to say he has a profile but doesn't use it. Told him I thought he'd blocked me and he's denying it. I'm done with it. No time for people that can't be honest even when they've been called out.

 

[Prinstress]

So I’ve liked this guy literally for ten years! The second I laid eyes on him I felt this electricity, I’m not a believer in love at first sight but I definitely had major lust... one problem... he was only my bloody lecturer

Despite my (immature) efforts at flirting, he remained the perfect professional and so once my time in his class came to an end I put aside my crush and got on with my life.

He added me on Facebook a few years ago and we exchanged a few friendly messages, I drunkenly messaged him one night after a relationship had recently ended and asked if he wanted to go for a drink... we had a lovely few coffees together and I really enjoyed his company but soon after I got back with my ex

Anyway flash forward to 2020 and I’d deleted all my social media apps, logged in to see if id missed anything and found some flirtyish messages from this man. We’ve been talking for about a month now and it’s getting so intense, I’ve got butterflies like I’ve never experienced and he makes me laugh my head off like a lunatic... he asked me out to dinner one weekend!!!.... then we got put into a local lockdown

I was devastated! We talk pretty much from morning til night despite us both having hectic schedules, and while I love talking to him I just want to say ‘duck the regulations’ and see him face to face

I am really not the taking initiative type and don’t want to come across as desperate (even though I’m 100% sure he is interested) but does anyone have any advice on dating in a local lockdown area!? Or should I just accept I may not actually get to spend any time with him for at least the rest of the year

 

[Caramel Latte]

How did your ‘not technically a date’ go?
It sounds like you could be incompatible if his self assessment and yours are accurate, I know it’s tough but maybe just focus on getting to know eachother as friends without thinking too long term, especially as your background means you’d have to stay platonic until marriage?

In my personal experience people who self proclaim to be ‘straight forward’ or ‘blunt’ can translate to ‘opinionated hole who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings’

As a shy person i was still laughing/making jokes/smiling. He was trying to be amusing as well.
The next day (yesterday) he texted me saying how shy i was, i asked him if it's a good thing he said just be yourself blah blah.
Then later that day i texted him about something he said on the date and he thought i was overreacting (i was, and i acknowledged it and said maybe cuz I'm just naïve)

Today he hasn't made an effort to start a conversation, his replies were so serious, and he brought up me being mad at silly things and high maintenance, based on the fact that I'm a sensitive person and sensitive people are high maintenance.
I was offended as i wasn't really mad at him in the first place, i was just asleep and didn't reply to his "hey" in the morning....

I had high hopes on this guy as I've had a crush on him for so long, and i didn't want it to end this way with HIM ignoring me

Also i realized i rambled so much but honestly I'm just embarrassed that I'm being treated this way idk how to vent with my bff

 

[Prinstress]

As a shy person i was still laughing/making jokes/smiling. He was trying to be amusing as well.
The next day (yesterday) he texted me saying how shy i was, i asked him if it's a good thing he said just be yourself blah blah.
Then later that day i texted him about something he said on the date and he thought i was overreacting (i was, and i acknowledged it and said maybe cuz I'm just naïve)

Today he hasn't made an effort to start a conversation, his replies were so serious, and he brought up me being mad at silly things and high maintenance, based on the fact that I'm a sensitive person and sensitive people are high maintenance.
I was offended as i wasn't really mad at him in the first place,

Wow he actually sounds really rude? And a bit gaslight-y as well, it’s hard to judge without knowing the ins and outs but I absolutely hate men calling women ‘high maintenance’ you’re a human being not a pet?

Honestly I would carefully consider if this is how you want to be treated, you deserve someone who loves your company not criticises it

 

[Caramel Latte]

Wow he actually sounds really rude? And a bit gaslight-y as well, it’s hard to judge without knowing the ins and outs but I absolutely hate men calling women ‘high maintenance’ you’re a human being not a pet?

Honestly I would carefully consider if this is how you want to be treated, you deserve someone who loves your company not criticises it

He actually is isn't he?
I find it uncomfortable having someone making me feel bad about myself when i only ever overreacted in this one situation! I am not perfect, but i have other good qualities and being a bit dramatic is a weakness i agree. He made me feel bad about being shy (which is a bleeping trait not a weakness 🥲)

I blame myself for showing interest in him too soon though . I should've waited to get to know him longer. (Impatience is another weakness of mine lol)

I think i was just so excited to get to know him, and to see that he was excited too and used to text non stop.

I think the plan now is to wait to see what he does, and to kinda accept that the end is sooooon.
A part of me wants to believe i have just misunderstood him or that he was just too stressed at work. But definitely shouldn't be compromising with something that's negatively affecting me.

ETA thank youuu @Prinstress for taking the time to reply

 

[Suzesnooze]

He actually is isn't he?
I find it uncomfortable having someone making me feel bad about myself when i only ever overreacted in this one situation! I am not perfect, but i have other good qualities and being a bit dramatic is a weakness i agree. He made me feel bad about being shy (which is a bleeping trait not a weakness 🥲)

I blame myself for showing interest in him too soon though . I should've waited to get to know him longer. (Impatience is another weakness of mine lol)

I think i was just so excited to get to know him, and to see that he was excited too and used to text non stop.

I think the plan now is to wait to see what he does, and to kinda accept that the end is sooooon.
A part of me wants to believe i have just misunderstood him or that he was just too stressed at work. But definitely shouldn't be compromising with something that's negatively affecting me.

ETA thank youuu @Prinstress for taking the time to reply

My grown up son is very shy and he hates it when people bring attention to it. Admittedly he’s not very good in social situations but as others said this guy just sounds rude. Rather than wait for him to end it you should just end it now and say you’re disappointed he’s not the person you thought he was!

 

[Prinstress]

A part of me wants to believe i have just misunderstood him or that he was just too stressed at work. But definitely shouldn't be compromising with something that's negatively affecting me.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them, don’t make excuses for them or blame yourself!

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Update on my situation, todays date didn't happen. During a conversation i asked if he's on fb and he said no. Told him I came across his profile the other day and he backtracked to say he has a profile but doesn't use it. Told him I thought he'd blocked me and he's denying it. I'm done with it. No time for people that can't be honest even when they've been called out.

Good decision. I think he 100% blocked you but maybe just don’t add anyone on Facebook unless they do you next time.

I dated a guy who added me immediately and his facebook statuses made me cringe. He’d put stuff about wanking and stuff and he was 30

 

[KimKardash91]

I dated a guy who added me immediately and his facebook statuses made me cringe. He’d put stuff about wanking and stuff and he was 30

Jesus and I thought I had it bad

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Jesus and I thought I had it bad

This thread shows me I’ve clearly dated trash. I remember one that stood out and it was valentines, he wished me happy valentines on snapchat, didn’t see me and then was saying how his right hand will be his girlfriend tonight.

Worst part is i had no confidence or esteem (he messed that up) and still dated him for months

 

[KimKardash91]

This thread shows me I’ve clearly dated trash. I remember one that stood out and it was valentines, he wished me happy valentines on snapchat, didn’t see me and then was saying how his right hand will be his girlfriend tonight.

Worst part is i had no confidence or esteem (he messed that up) and still dated him for months

Lads can we all talk about snapchat for 2 mins please?
What are your experiences with lads on the apps and snapchat?
I’ve had loads of men who prefer their hand and snapchat rather than actually coming over and having sex in real life lol

Why do men in their twenties and thirties prefer nude pics and sexting on snapchat rather than meeting up with the woman in real life to actually have sex?
Am I crazy or is that crazy?
Performance issues perhaps?

Lads can we all talk about snapchat for 2 mins please?
What are your experiences with lads on the apps and snapchat?
I’ve had loads of men who prefer their hand and snapchat rather than actually coming over and having sex in real life lol

Why do men in their twenties and thirties prefer nude pics and sexting on snapchat rather than meeting up with the woman in real life to actually have sex?
Am I crazy or is that crazy?
Performance issues perhaps?

Btw this was before covid also FYI

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Lads can we all talk about snapchat for 2 mins please?
What are your experiences with lads on the apps and snapchat?
I’ve had loads of men who prefer their hand and snapchat rather than actually coming over and having sex in real life lol

Why do men in their twenties and thirties prefer nude pics and sexting on snapchat rather than meeting up with the woman in real life to actually have sex?
Am I crazy or is that crazy?
Performance issues perhaps?



Btw this was before covid also FYI

Probably they’re married

 

[KimKardash91]

Probably they’re married

I would of said performance issues

 

[bobthedragqueen]

Okay but can we please talk about men in their late 20's/30's being on snapchat? It's barbie tina central for me.

 

[yankydoo]

Okay but can we please talk about men in their late 20's/30's being on snapchat? It's barbie tina central for me.

Related to this, I find it off putting when men in their 30s are all over social media, posting stories and quotes. I still follow someone I dated who has just turned 40 and he constantly posts inspirational quotes on Insta. He will also post stories when he is clearly on a date and will show part of the woman's hand. I find it soooo immature. This same guy used to drunk call me at 3am most weekends.

 

[bobthedragqueen]

Related to this, I find it off putting when men in their 30s are all over social media, posting stories and quotes. I still follow someone I dated who has just turned 40 and he constantly posts inspirational quotes on Insta. He will also post stories when he is clearly on a date and will show part of the woman's hand. I find it soooo immature. This same guy used to drunk call me at 3am most weekends.

Oh boy! This type of man is the equivalent to a 'live, laugh, love' lady.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

You what??!

 

[Wowitsme]

You what??!

View attachment 272270

This would give me ultimate Ick