Dating after Lockdown

[realhousewivewannabe]

At this moment in time and how men are on dating apps. I shall be waiting until I have a ring on my finger

 

[bookish]

In a flit of loneliness/boredom I downloaded one of the apps and got chatting with a divorced guy in his late 40s (I'm late 30s so most guys in my pool are divorced). Pleasant enough, chatty, all going well. Then he starts to talk about how we probably wouldn't have a future because of x/y/z and I thought ok...a little premature given we've only just started talking. Anyway it turns out that his divorce was a shock for him (over 10 years ago) and the scars are very much there, and his way of self-preservation which he admitted himself is to run through all the reasons why something won't work to try and protect himself from trying it and having it fail. For me on the receiving end of that it was hardcore neediness and picking morning, noon and night. Why do you like me square_spoon? Why did you reply to my message? I think you're great square_spoon, what do you think is great about me?.....it ended when my battery died late one night and I fell asleep mid text-conversation. I woke up to a lengthy message about how I had disappeared in the middle of a conversation and treated him like he was nothing...like he was disposable...made him feel like he was worthless...and no woman has ever and would ever disrespect him in such a way ever again....goodbye cruel world etc.

His divorce from his own recollection was pretty amicable as divorces go, good relationship with the ex-wife, plenty of access to kids who are now teenagers etc. so it threw me a loop a bit. But the good thing is it made me remember why I don't use dating apps!

Oh my god. Why would any woman divorce him?

God bless your battery for dying

 

[misscl4]

Another guy last night ‘do you wear G Strings?’ F*** OFF!

 

[Woolmercardington]

"aren't boring" ????

WHO WANTS SOMEONE WHO IS BORING?! SURELY IT'S A FUCKING GIVEN THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE BORING YOU ACTUAL ASSWIPE!


Seriously why would you even write that! I was considering getting back on the dating apps but you know what... I'm good

Whenever I see this type of comment, I'm more inclined to wonder what their definition of boring actually is. I bet any woman who refuses to indulge his requests are deemed as boring.

 

[yankydoo]

I’m sorry what?! And who types like this anyway

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Another guy last night ‘do you wear G Strings?’ F*** OFF!

I remember when someone asked me if I had a single bed? I’m a 30 year mum ffs.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Now THAT is terrifying. Even as a joke this person has a morbid sense of humour as they say behind jokes is an element of truth.

 

[aimz_yeah]

Also I wish guys would stop putting sarcy comments about their height on profile. Even the “6 foot as it seems so important “ guys are at it now. I’m sorry but I just don’t want to be bigger than a guy a date.

I had one guy inform me that women only care about height because we want tall babies. Oh F right off

 

[anonesk223]

LOVE this thread I fully give up with online dating hahaha. Had my fair share of awful men. Finally met one on hinge recently who was so up my street, so keen, we FaceTimed and did voice notes, and we seemed to have an AMAZING first date. Said what an amazing time he had and arranged a second date. Fast forward a few days and I’m suddenly ghosted, he falls off the face of the earth and then suddenly I’m blocked...

I was baffled and really upset and it’s so worrying how common ghosting is these days. Surely one day we will find decent men

oh hunny!!! I feel every inch of what you’re saying I met a guy off hinge we spoke everyday for weeks, FaceTime,voicenote, what’s app, we went on a few dates and I felt like it was ACTUALLY GOING SOMEWHERE. Low and behold, he vanished off the face of the Earth I sent a message Basically wishing him happiness and why didn’t he just say if he didn’t want to meet.. nothing fast forward months and months Christmas Day I had to drink, one too many zoom quizzes later I went on hinge and the first person who popped up was him. Merry frecking Christmas sounds like nothing to some but it hit me slightly because he didn’t disappear for someone else..I still feel like I’m not ‘good enough’ I won’t be dating again, anyway! He also doesn’t have any social media which is bloody annoying but was so handsome but you will find someone when it’s meant to be my darling 🤍

erm... this is EXACTLY what happened to me down to the ft/voice notes and sudden ghosting (post above) and he didn’t have social media either.... could it be?!

 

[sleepflowers]

I took a couple of months off the apps, went back on today and ran into the same problem as ever. I just can't make myself interested in someone from a screen! Like most of them seem nice enough, but even if I think he's attractive and we have similar interests, I just never have the inclination to talk to them. And I don't have the time or energy to talk to hundreds of them 'just incase' we might get on.
I don't really meet anyone eligible in real life, and especially not at the moment for obvious reasons. I'm shy in real life so I think that puts men off. So I can't do online, I can't do offline...just going to be single forever! I even tried just randomly following cute guys on Instagram...got zero response on that

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Girlies, after a bit of advice. Have followed this thread on and off since it was started

Bit of a dating app etiquette question, and I think I know the answer to what I’m about to say but... is it ever a good idea to revive a chat that has gone dead? I would essentially be double messaging him as I sent the last message... is this a big no no?

Hey lovely, leave that man/woman/they/them and their dead chat dead. If they can’t hold a convo now imagine how boring they could be. However, was it you that text last? Did you give a dead reply? xx

 

[OhhBacon]

Apps must work right? I here success stories all the time but perhaps it's a myth and these stories are made up to keep you on the apps!

Ok, I’ve read this thread since it started and stayed quiet but I’m here to bring hope.
I met someone on an app in September and it’s going strong.

So my advice; it’s quite simply a numbers game. I matched with and messaged loads of people, I went on a few dates with other people before I met this one.

Now on paper he really isn’t what I would have written I was looking for, we laugh about how if he had written more detail I would have swiped past him. He laughs because I didn’t write much in my profile and he swipes past people who don’t have a written profile!

But it turns out we have so much in common, our outlook on life is the same and he really makes me laugh.

Basically there are good people out there, match with them, chat to them, take a chance on them...but do delete if they don’t want to meet....too many people spend months dragging things out and if their messages are dull..delete!

Good luck all, take chances, know your value and don’t give up!

 

[Pink blancmange]

Oh my days, what did I just read? It takes a special kind of psychopath to go about their life carefree, knowing they have a child out there that they don’t have a relationship with. How does he sleep at night?!

I hope you’re OK @Pink blancmange, that can’t be easy for you and I don’t know how you’ve kept quiet on it to be honest. I’d have been lashing out a Send To All email company-wide on my last day before maternity leave

Thank you . I found it hard when I returned from maternity leave, I felt uncomfortable working with him and having to face him but then I realised that actually I have nothing to be ashamed of, I'm raising my children, we both knew the consequences of unprotected sex and I've taken responsibility but he's a coward. He had actually tried to talk to me once when I had her in the pram and didn't even look down at her, he has no idea what she looks like! I swiftly told him where to go!
On Facebook he paints this picture of what an amazing doting dad he is to his other child and it makes me sick. I'm so so close to my own dad and it makes me sad sometimes that my daughter won't have that with her dad but I'm giving her and my other children the best life I can and I can take pride in the lovely, polite and respectful people that they are growing up to be

 

[under the ivy]

View attachment 424644

Well this is a new one

Miniature artist yet 6’7

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I’m keeping everything crossed 2021 is the year for a lovely handsome man

 

[Peakyblinders]

Hey!
Yep, I think you are right! My reason is telling me this but my heart tells me to wait (cheesy).
But I do think I deserve better indeed

oh trust me babe I’ve done it before, and then I realise how much time I’ve wasted! I’m now with someone who drives a 2 hour drive to me after a 12 hour shift. People really will make time for someone who they really like. You deserve better xx

 

[Alf]

I love this thread, glad to know I'm not on my own. On all the dating apps but living in a more rural area it's just the same guys going round and round in a bit of a funk, just feels like everyone else is winning at life and I'm still single and living at home with the folks.

 

[sleepflowers]

Girlies, after a bit of advice. Have followed this thread on and off since it was started

Bit of a dating app etiquette question, and I think I know the answer to what I’m about to say but... is it ever a good idea to revive a chat that has gone dead? I would essentially be double messaging him as I sent the last message... is this a big no no?

If I don't get a reply within 24 hours I unmatch. No one is that busy to avoid replying for longer than that, especially at the moment.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Love this thread everyone is so helpful.

I’m so glad! I’ve been trying to make it for weeks and then suddenly had the power to create threads

I agree none of this snapchat stuff it’s for teenagers (I’m 27and do not even use that anymore) I also find it a red flag if they say they have no social media. I met a guywho said that and know a girl who dated someone who created Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook pages and a fake name when was dating her she only found out by making a new YouTube channel and told him , she then got a notification that someone subscribed, didn’t know who it was so Facebook searched it turns out it was the guy she was dating and his actual name, he was Engaged and living with another girl! long story short she dumped him!

 

[Chattyman321]

What is with guys profiles where their pictures are of them and another girl. I’ve seen like 5 guys and all their pictures are of them with what looks like their girlfriend, the photos are all quite coupley, just of them two. Like are they cheating, which is weird cos you wouldn’t put up photos of your gf?