Dating after Lockdown

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I’m going with a good old-fashioned “Tell him the truth”

I think we’ve all seen on this thread (and various others) how much overthinking and confusion can be caused by trying to let people down gently or spare their feelings by sugar coating what’s really happened. Just tell him how it is then he’ll know exactly where he stands.

 

[alwayslurkin]

I would tell him direct how you feel and be done with it

I always appreciate a direct response, like others do here, so it is only fair to do the same to someone else

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I’d just say I’m too busy at the moment but you hope they find what they’re looking for.

I wouldn’t mention other options.

 

[lalalanded]

What do you think is the best way to let down someone you haven't met yet? I've been talking to someone for a bout 6 weeks. He is local but was staying with his family up North for lockdown. He's back now and we have arranged to meet this week but in the meantime I have met someone else I like and really can't be bothered to meet this guy. Also now lockdown has been lifted a bit I'm so busy which adds to not being bothered.

Can someone help me with a nice letdown?

Just think if the shoe was on the other foot - would you want him to be honest? If so, you know the answer!

 

[yankydoo]

I was honest and he sent a really nice reply back and said if anything changes then to contact him. Thanks for the advice guys! His nice reply has now made me think I may be missing out hahahaha. Knowing how dating works though I bet the guy I like will disappear soon and I will be hitting this guy up again

 

[alwayslurkin]

Do you ever immediately swipe left on a guy because he has the same name as your brother because SAME

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I was honest and he sent a really nice reply back and said if anything changes then to contact him. Thanks for the advice guys! His nice reply has now made me think I may be missing out hahahaha. Knowing how dating works though I bet the guy I like will disappear soon and I will be hitting this guy up again

I think that would be unfair tbh.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

The question on hinge “what I order for the table”... does that mean literally or what kind of chat is he going to bring to the table? Because some men’s answers are “large peri peri chicken with fries and coke”. I’m sure the question used to be “what I bring to the table”.
Sorry. I’m just thinking out loud

 

[sleepflowers]

I keep getting likes from absolute creatures on Bumble. Men who are nearly 30 wearing snapbacks with designer goatees posing next to sports cars they don't own. What part of my music/theatre loving, mature and friendly librarian persona suggests to these men that I'd be interested in a guy like them

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I keep getting likes from absolute creatures on Bumble. Men who are nearly 30 wearing snapbacks with designer goatees posing next to sports cars they don't own. What part of my music/theatre loving, mature and friendly librarian persona suggests to these men that I'd be interested in a guy like them

I’ve just had a like on hinge and every single photo, there is someone next to him and he’s covered their face with an emoji why not just crop them out!!!

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Do you ever immediately swipe left on a guy because he has the same name as your brother because SAME

Hahahaha. Yes. I also think I would have a heart attack if I ever saw my brother/his friends/mutuals/acquaintances on app. You’ve reminded me of something Anyone ever matched with brothers before. (Not your brothers but guys who were brothers and you didn’t know it)

 

[sleepflowers]

I’ve just had a like on hinge and every single photo, there is someone next to him and he’s covered their face with an emoji why not just crop them out!!!

They are so lazy it infuriates me!! Who the hell would take an off-the-cuff selfie of themselves from waist height, looking like a bin bag, then put it on a dating app and genuinely believe they would get matches. These men EXIST

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I’ve just had a like on hinge and every single photo, there is someone next to him and he’s covered their face with an emoji why not just crop them out!!!

Because as this thread has shown, they’re not all smart. Most are lazy.

They are so lazy it infuriates me!! Who the hell would take an off-the-cuff selfie of themselves from waist height, looking like a bin bag, then put it on a dating app and genuinely believe they would get matches. These men EXIST

This message has finished me. I am howling .

 

[sleepflowers]

Because as this thread has shown, they’re not all smart. Most are lazy.

This message has finished me. I am howling .

I could honestly write a stand-up show about my pet peeves of men on online dating. Although I'd have to use screenshots to illustrate so it might get a bit personal and I'd get done for slander

 

[Asgyui]

I don't have social media... Like at all. What would you think of that if someone said that to you?

I don't have personal social media accounts for combination of privacy concerns, job related privacy due to working with young people and cyber bullied years ago and i worried when im ready to start dating it will make me seem shady (if my other traits dont already!)

 

[alwayslurkin]

I don't have personal social media accounts for combination of privacy concerns, job related privacy due to working with young people and cyber bullied years ago and i worried when im ready to start dating it will make me seem shady (if my other traits dont already!)

I just got to the point now where if they have an issue with it, it's their loss ahaha

I understand why they get sus but then I'm open to meeting etc. So it isn't like I don't have socials AND don't want to meet

 

[LittleBird]

I have a date Saturday.

What on earth do you wear when it's all 4 seasons in one day and you'll definitely be outside .

 

[Woolmercardington]

I just got to the point now where if they have an issue with it, it's their loss ahaha

I understand why they get sus but then I'm open to meeting etc. So it isn't like I don't have socials AND don't want to meet

I'm the same. OK, I do have FB but I haven't updated it in ages because the main reason I used it was through my involvement in a couple of theatre groups, which obviously have not been active.

But I don't actually want a stranger knowing my full name or other location/activity details. On the flip side, however, I want to know theirs

 

[lalalanded]

Would genuinely love to hear any opinions on a situation of someone close to me. I dunno if I'm into too much true crime or I'm just a miserable old cynic so would love your take on this (I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible!). This person is a single mother to a daughter and has been desperately looking for someone for years (in ways that I think has put her at risk but that's another story!!).

To give a vague timeline:

May - posts a photo of a guy with her daughter and mentions they are at 'Hogwarts' (fancy old hotel).
June/July ish - guy buys her an expensive dog.
August - guy takes her and her daughter on a very expensive holiday and they get engaged with a Tiffany ring (so clearly the proposal was planned and thought out). The trip/engagement are on all of her SM accounts with the odd comment (including from family) asking 'who is this?' amongst the usual 'OMGGGGGGGGGGG AT LAST SO HAPPPYYYYYY FOR YOU' comments.

She contacts me in August and I mention the engagement and she says 'yes it all happened very fast, hope you can come to the wedding'.

I've since found out that this guy (foreign national with very good job) was introduced to her via ex's sister and he is still married and also has two children. They were allegedly broken up but he has left his ex-wife and kids to move to the other side of the country and now friend in question is pregnant. Wife was a SAHM and apparently taking him to the cleaners.

Sometimes I feel like a right witch but I haven't been at all excited for her. I'm just really worried tbh. I think she's vulnerable and he is bad news. The fact that he could leave his kids so quickly................ the obvious 'lovebombing'. I'm so suspicious.

 

[misscl4]

I'm the same. OK, I do have FB but I haven't updated it in ages because the main reason I used it was through my involvement in a couple of theatre groups, which obviously have not been active.

But I don't actually want a stranger knowing my full name or other location/activity details. On the flip side, however, I want to know theirs

That’s why I don’t have my full name on there and only add on Facebook Messenger but you can still see some details.