Dating after Lockdown

[Woolmercardington]

I think

Just as an aside, I've had this happen so many times as have some of my friends. The jumping through hoops, the almost over keeness etc etc to absolutely nothing. I will never understand it. My friend had it happen to her weeks before she was about to move in with someone when he was the one pushing for it. And he told her via text. I'll never understand it.

Happens so often. I do think a lot of men do get genuinely excited when they meet a woman they like and go overboard with keenness. But then when reality and practicalities kick in and the initial excitement wears off, it's a different story.

I think a lot then fade out because they just can't deal with any form of confrontation or they have some stupid preconceived notion that the woman will go "crazy" if they break it off.

 

[Clover123]

I think


Happens so often. I do think a lot of men do get genuinely excited when they meet a woman they like and go overboard with keenness. But then when reality and practicalities kick in and the initial excitement wears off, it's a different story.

I think a lot then fade out because they just can't deal with any form of confrontation or they have some stupid preconceived notion that the woman will go "crazy" if they break it off.

Agreed! Some like the chase and then get bored and I agree that lots can't deal with confrontation. I've been appalled at how cowardly so many men can be, and how deceptive. Leading girls on and giving them false hope and then lying about their feelings while setting up another girl to jump to... it can really make you lose hope but there are still good ones out there- somewhere!

 

[misscl4]

FFS I wish I’d screenshotted before I unmatched this guy, he wasn’t that chatty and he’s not really that much of a catch, also 35 (grow the f up) but this morning got a ‘I find you really attractive but I don’t want a relationship, I just want to explore sexually’ PUT IT ON YOUR PROFILE THEN

Why is Bumble turning into Tinder?

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

‘I find you really attractive but I don’t want a relationship, I just want to explore sexually’

Why is Bumble turning into Tinder?

OMG OMG OMG You’ve just reminded me of something. So the very first guy I ever matched with on Hinge was like this.

We were messaging backwards and forwards for a bit and then out of nowhere, he came out with the below. Obviously he’s carefully worded and crafted these messages over time and probably has them saved in his notes to copy and paste to every woman he matches with. The way he tries to make “I’m just looking for a shag” sound really profound and spiritual is absolutely hilarious We still rinse him in the group chat to this day.

 

[lalalanded]

OMG OMG OMG You’ve just reminded me of something. So the very first guy I ever matched with on Hinge was like this.

We were messaging backwards and forwards for a bit and then out of nowhere, he came out with the below. Obviously he’s carefully worded and crafted these messages over time and probably has them saved in his notes to copy and paste to every woman he matches with. The way he tries to make “I’m just looking for a shag” sound really profound and spiritual is absolutely hilarious We still rinse him in the group chat to this day.

View attachment 517945

Yeah, I'll give it a miss Rico Suave!!! It's so funny when they're just basic duck bois but try to make it spiritual!!!

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Yeah, I'll give it a miss Rico Suave!!!

That’s what I told him in not so many words I just said I appreciated his honesty as it saved either of us wasting any time but I wasn’t interested in the slightest. Then he thanked me for my “self awareness” and off he went, presumably to try his luck in one of his other two countries What an absolute turnip.

 

[lalalanded]

That’s what I told him in not so many words I just said I appreciated his honesty as it saved either of us wasting any time but I wasn’t interested in the slightest. Then he thanked me for my “self awareness” and off he went, presumably to try his luck in one of his other two countries What an absolute turnip.

There was a period in my life (and there may be again) where I was just looking for sex too, why not just be up front about it? Some of them know so little about women they think we're all looking for marriage. Please!

 

[misscl4]

Oh and now the other guy I am talking to wants to argue with me & hide it as his dry sense of humour. I think I need to give up now.

 

[Woolmercardington]

Agreed! Some like the chase and then get bored and I agree that lots can't deal with confrontation. I've been appalled at how cowardly so many men can be, and how deceptive. Leading girls on and giving them false hope and then lying about their feelings while setting up another girl to jump to... it can really make you lose hope but there are still good ones out there- somewhere!

I remember hearing this saying, "One woman's prat is another woman's prince." I think it's true.

 

[leapricot]

Soooo last year (around June/July) I matched with a guy on Okcupid + Tinder but conversation didn't go far. We found each other on Bumble last week and matched again. I told him that we should have a proper good chat since we match on all the apps under the sun haha. So we talked for a bit, went on Whatsapp and he offered a walk and a coffee on Sunday (the one just gone). It went so so well, He was better looking than on photos, conversation was flowing, he was funny and we have lots of shared interests!
I walked him back as he just lived around the corner and he said I could come round for a tea (yes I know covid). We carried on our nice chats and he ended up kissing me. In the end, he walked me back home, he was holding my hand. When we said bye, he just hugged me and left.

Since then, I only had a couple of texts (but conversation pre-date was flowing) but he told me we could see each other next week if I was down for it (with a kiss at the end of the text). I don't know if it's a "normal" post first date behaviour but it confuses me a bit?

YES, I overthink everything

Little update if you guys are interested.
We chatted a bit last week and agreed to meet up on Monday just gone. On the Sunday, we planned what we would do on the Monday evening and he seemed enthusiastic. Then on the Monday around midday, I got this text
"I'm really sorry, I feel awful but I don't think we should meet later. I'm not feeling myself at the moment and meeting up isn't the right thing to do. I need to lay low and focus on work and stuff til I'm in a better place. I hope we can be friends, if not then I apologise again for messing you around. Hope I haven't really pissed you off or anything. Sorry man x"

Am I not worth more than a " SORRY MAN KISS"?

Anyway, I think his excuse is utter bullshit. I was right to be a bit wary.
As some people said, it seems that there is a pattern where guys are super keen before a first date, even during the date, then they completely vanish afterwards. Cowards much?

 

[Clover123]

Little update if you guys are interested.
We chatted a bit last week and agreed to meet up on Monday just gone. On the Sunday, we planned what we would do on the Monday evening and he seemed enthusiastic. Then on the Monday around midday, I got this text
"I'm really sorry, I feel awful but I don't think we should meet later. I'm not feeling myself at the moment and meeting up isn't the right thing to do. I need to lay low and focus on work and stuff til I'm in a better place. I hope we can be friends, if not then I apologise again for messing you around. Hope I haven't really pissed you off or anything. Sorry man x"

Am I not worth more than a " SORRY MAN KISS"?

Anyway, I think his excuse is utter bullshit. I was right to be a bit wary.
As some people said, it seems that there is a pattern where guys are super keen before a first date, even during the date, then they completely vanish afterwards. Cowards much?

I'm so sorry! He's not worth it at all, that's a really bs excuse. I suppose at least you can comfort yourself that you dodged a bullet early on, but that really sucks and I hope you're not too down about it

 

[leapricot]

I'm so sorry! He's not worth it at all, that's a really bs excuse. I suppose at least you can comfort yourself that you dodged a bullet early on, but that really sucks and I hope you're not too down about it

As you said, I'm glad I got this text early on and we only had one date so I'm not too down. But I feel like my dating history is Groundhog Day.
Here's to hope once we are allowed back out. I am sure nice men will also be going out of their caves

 

[yankydoo]

Little update if you guys are interested.
We chatted a bit last week and agreed to meet up on Monday just gone. On the Sunday, we planned what we would do on the Monday evening and he seemed enthusiastic. Then on the Monday around midday, I got this text
"I'm really sorry, I feel awful but I don't think we should meet later. I'm not feeling myself at the moment and meeting up isn't the right thing to do. I need to lay low and focus on work and stuff til I'm in a better place. I hope we can be friends, if not then I apologise again for messing you around. Hope I haven't really pissed you off or anything. Sorry man x"

Am I not worth more than a " SORRY MAN KISS"?

Anyway, I think his excuse is utter bullshit. I was right to be a bit wary.
As some people said, it seems that there is a pattern where guys are super keen before a first date, even during the date, then they completely vanish afterwards. Cowards much?

Definitely dodged a bullet. Delete him out of your life and move on. Hope you're ok!

As you said, I'm glad I got this text early on and we only had one date so I'm not too down. But I feel like my dating history is Groundhog Day.
Here's to hope once we are allowed back out. I am sure nice men will also be going out of their caves

I hope so too!

 

[HitchhikingGhost]

As you said, I'm glad I got this text early on and we only had one date so I'm not too down. But I feel like my dating history is Groundhog Day.
Here's to hope once we are allowed back out. I am sure nice men will also be going out of their caves

Also hoping for this too

 

[Ls2991]

Quoting myself. Hadn't really heard from him so just sent a message to say, shall we leave it then? You can say if you want to, it's fine, type thing.

Then got a reply to say he doesn't know but the distance has been on his mind. We live about an hr and a half away, I drive but he doesn't. We discussed this when we first started talking and he said distance shouldn't be a boundary if you like someone. Not saying he's allowed to change his mind but he could've said sooner as I had to dig to get it out of him. At least I know now

The thing that would annoy me about this is why did he wait for you to ask him? Like why don’t they just be up front and say ‘look the distance is a factor after all, I had a really good time/it was really nice meeting you, but I just don’t think it’ll work’. Why do we constantly have to push them to respond?

 

[HitchhikingGhost]

The thing that would annoy me about this is why did he wait for you to ask him? Like why don’t they just be up front and say ‘look the distance is a factor after all, I had a really good time/it was really nice meeting you, but I just don’t think it’ll work’. Why do we constantly have to push them to respond?

Yeah that's what annoyed me too. I could tell something was up but he was like oh everything's fine. Then proceeds to ignore me until I was like let's just call it then and that's when he said about it. Sigh

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

A man with baby sized arms liked me today.

 

[yankydoo]

Went on a date in mid March with a guy. We got on well and arranged a second date. He postponed as he got ill but continued the convo for a few days. He then went quiet and I messaged him asking if he was feeling better. He read my WhatsApp and did not reply. I messaged him the next day asking if he is ok and same again.

I deleted him and moved on.

Last night I got a message from him saying his pet (I don't want to say the pet just in case it he reads this somehow ) has fallen ill and is due to be put down this week.

It's very sad but I did not reply. Just think it was rude to ignore me completely for all this time. Maybe I am being harsh but I feel the moment has completely passed now

 

[misscl4]

Went on a date in mid March with a guy. We got on well and arranged a second date. He postponed as he got ill but continued the convo for a few days. He then went quiet and I messaged him asking if he was feeling better. He read my WhatsApp and did not reply. I messaged him the next day asking if he is ok and same again.

I deleted him and moved on.

Last night I got a message from him saying his pet (I don't want to say the pet just in case it he reads this somehow ) has fallen ill and is due to be put down this week.

It's very sad but I did not reply. Just think it was rude to ignore me completely for all this time. Maybe I am being harsh but I feel the moment has completely passed now

Nope not harsh at all, he could’ve told you at the time and said I need some space

 

[chanandlerbong]

Went on a date in mid March with a guy. We got on well and arranged a second date. He postponed as he got ill but continued the convo for a few days. He then went quiet and I messaged him asking if he was feeling better. He read my WhatsApp and did not reply. I messaged him the next day asking if he is ok and same again.

I deleted him and moved on.

Last night I got a message from him saying his pet (I don't want to say the pet just in case it he reads this somehow ) has fallen ill and is due to be put down this week.

It's very sad but I did not reply. Just think it was rude to ignore me completely for all this time. Maybe I am being harsh but I feel the moment has completely passed now

Not harsh, the fact that you double messaged and he still ghosted after cancelling the second date makes me side eye the initial 'ill' excuse. Tbh I'm not sure why he's messaging you about his pet being put down anyway? I'm thinking because he knows he's fucked you off and you were likely to ignore him so wanted to say something to tug at your heart strings and encourage you to reply. It's a no from me