Dating after Lockdown

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I just feel like what would have otherwise been a one night stand has basically turned into a full blown relationship out of convenience.

I know at least 3 people who have been in or are currently in this kind of situationship.

Two who met on apps just before lockdown and for some reason decided it would be a great idea to move in together immediately (one of them has now fallen pregnant, she’s only known the guy since December and it’s obvious to all of us on the outside looking in that he won’t be sticking around for very long after restrictions end ) and a third who had been with her partner for about 18 months and moved him (and a staggering amount of debt that has now come to light) into her house.

IMO it’s all a bit desperate

 

[chanandlerbong]

Since then, I only had a couple of texts (but conversation pre-date was flowing) but he told me we could see each other next week if I was down for it (with a kiss at the end of the text). I don't know if it's a "normal" post first date behaviour but it confuses me a bit?

I think even if he is still interested he's definitely playing games which is disappointing and never a good sign !

"If he likes you, you'll know about it. If he doesn't, you'll be confused" is always good logic to apply

 

[leapricot]

Have you actually arranged the date next week? If not and he's gone quiet I think he may be doing that thing of trying to phase you out. Sorry! It's just my opinion but I have gone through it a lot and know now if someone is keen you will definitely not have to ask these questions.

If the second date isn't in the diary, I would just message him and ask when he's free. You will definitely be able to tell what is going on based on his reaction.

Honestly, I have been going through quite a few disappointing situations (and men hahaha). So that's why I am kind of wary and am struggling to trust someone in what they are telling me. Hence my endless questions.

Date has not been arranged probably since his text offering next week (and me thinking he said this to buy himself time).
I know I have made mistakes in the past in terms of being too clingy so I am trying to play it cool here (even though I am dying inside to text him).

 

[chanandlerbong]

I know at least 3 people who have been in or are currently in this kind of situationship.

Two who met on apps just before lockdown and for some reason decided it would be a great idea to move in together immediately (one of them has now fallen pregnant, she’s only known the guy since December and it’s obvious to all of us on the outside looking in that he won’t be sticking around for very long after restrictions end ) and a third who had been with her partner for about 18 months and moved him (and a staggering amount of debt that has now come to light) into her house.

IMO it’s all a bit desperate

Jesus! Honestly what a weird time to be alive. I feel like dating logic has completely changed and it's now "words speak louder than actions" because people have nothing going on and more than enough time to give. Now it should be all about getting verbal confirmation of what's going on between you so you don't get dropped like a sack of tit on June 21st

 

[leapricot]

I think even if he is still interested he's definitely playing games which is disappointing and never a good sign !

"If he likes you, you'll know about it. If he doesn't, you'll be confused" is always good logic to apply

(great profile picture )
And great quote that I should follow...

I should add, before he kissed me, whilst we were still walking he said I could meet him on Tuesday (yesterday) in the park with his friends.
But then on Monday he said he was going to his mum's for a few days in the end. Don't know if it's BS or not but I started being a bit wary there.

 

[Cocoflowers]

Does anyone else think that lockdown is driving people together as well as apart? There’s a few couples I know that broke up because of lockdown but also a few who are together because of lockdown.

One had a guy she used to date (treated her like tit and mugged her off) message her before the November lockdown after he split up with his girlfriend. She even acknowledged herself that it probably wasn’t a good idea based on how he treated her before (also potential rebound vibes) but was just so excited to have someone/something new in her life. Obviously things since then have only gotten worse and they've been seeing each other almost every weekend.

I just feel like what would have otherwise been a one night stand has basically turned into a full blown relationship out of convenience. She's getting the attention and commitment which would usually be a good sign but it doesn't really mean much in the lockdown bubble when neither of them have any alternatives. I have another friend who's now with a guy who said over and over again that he didn't want a girlfriend I just worry for them what will happen once lockdown is over.

Anyone noticed similar?

Yeah me and my ex broke up in july last year of no warning we been together on and off the last 8 years. But i ended it i was so fed up of being let down at the last minute i used to say to him. I used to him letting me down all the time and i had a enough. Has he reached out to me nope i feel like ive wasted so much time. Im still very heartbroken but i still would be in the same situation if we was still together.

Also decided the last weeks i dont need guys wasting my time so im taking some time out of dating for awhile i just need to heal and focus on me.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Jesus! Honestly what a weird time to be alive. I feel like dating logic has completely changed and it's now "words speak louder than actions" because people have nothing going on and more than enough time to give. Now it should be all about getting verbal confirmation of what's going on between you so you don't get dropped like a sack of tit on June 21st

It’s comparable to when you see couples meet on reality shows like Big Brother or Strictly Come Dancing, where you are suddenly thrust into a situation with someone, you’re spending all your time with this person and you make decisions you’d never make in the “real world” so to speak.

We’re living in a false version of reality at the moment where, as you rightly say, people have nothing else to do with their time. You don’t know what the person you’re seeing is going to be like when they have other options. You don’t know necessarily how they behave when out with friends or what they’re like on nights out / lads holidays etc. because they haven’t been able to do any of that stuff yet. It’s definitely a time to be proceeding with caution IMO or there are going to be a lot of broken hearts come June 21st

 

[chanandlerbong]

(great profile picture )
And great quote that I should follow...

I should add, before he kissed me, whilst we were still walking he said I could meet him on Tuesday (yesterday) in the park with his friends.
But then on Monday he said he was going to his mum's for a few days in the end. Don't know if it's BS or not but I started being a bit wary there.

Thank you

Urgh the hot and cold messaging and cancelling dates screams classic time waster to me. Basically he's more interested in playing games than being serious which means 1) he's a bellend and 2) he's not afraid of losing you. I think manage your own expectations of this leading anywhere and back all the way off and see what happens. Really disappointing though

 

[HitchhikingGhost]

I have my first lockdown date (and date in general for a loooong time) tonight. I am also an overthinker but after reading a lot of this forum and other similar ones, I'm trying to stick with the attitude-if he likes you, he will let you know and you won't be questioning things.

There's so much game playing and lockdown has just made it worse

 

[lalalanded]

I mean we are meant to be careful, it’s more you can’t give medical advice without properly identifying yourself and you can’t post disparaging remarks about where you work etc.

but it’s just embarrassing really

It is. I mean, who is he treating in his football kit?? Pathetic.

 

[chanandlerbong]

I'm trying to stick with the attitude-if he likes you, he will let you know and you won't be questioning things.

It's such a hard thing to put into practice when you're in it but dating should be fun and exciting and never confusing/disheartening/unsettling. I have been messed about and treated like utter SHITE but when it came to my two relationships (one ex one current) dating them was easy breezy.

They made me happy not sad and I never once felt confused. If he likes you and wants a girlfriend he will be in touch after the date and line up the next one. Anything less and he's game playing (and a twit) or not interested

 

[princess279]

Does anyone else think that lockdown is driving people together as well as apart? There’s a few couples I know that broke up because of lockdown but also a few who are together because of lockdown.

One had a guy she used to date (treated her like tit and mugged her off) message her before the November lockdown after he split up with his girlfriend. She even acknowledged herself that it probably wasn’t a good idea based on how he treated her before (also potential rebound vibes) but was just so excited to have someone/something new in her life. Obviously things since then have only gotten worse and they've been seeing each other almost every weekend.

I just feel like what would have otherwise been a one night stand has basically turned into a full blown relationship out of convenience. She's getting the attention and commitment which would usually be a good sign but it doesn't really mean much in the lockdown bubble when neither of them have any alternatives. I have another friend who's now with a guy who said over and over again that he didn't want a girlfriend I just worry for them what will happen once lockdown is over.

Anyone noticed similar?

Yep I completely agree. My best friend started seeing someone before lockdown who was just using her when he wasn't busy being out with the boys. Obviously he hasn't been able to go out during lockdown so she basically moved into his, fast forward a year and they are now buying a flat in his area which is 40 mins from us. Feel like I've lost her to him!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

When an upside down photo of your bum is better than your face (IMO). (He commented one 1 of my photos saying Bonjour )

 

[lalalanded]

When an upside down photo of your bum is better than your face (IMO). (He commented one 1 of my photos saying Bonjour )
View attachment 509713

The car selfie is always a no from me.

 

[aimz_yeah]

Also I wish guys would stop putting sarcy comments about their height on profile. Even the “6 foot as it seems so important “ guys are at it now. I’m sorry but I just don’t want to be bigger than a guy a date.

I had one guy inform me that women only care about height because we want tall babies. Oh F right off

 

[Pink blancmange]

Also I wish guys would stop putting sarcy comments about their height on profile. Even the “6 foot as it seems so important “ guys are at it now. I’m sorry but I just don’t want to be bigger than a guy a date.

I had one guy inform me that women only care about height because we want tall babies. Oh F right off

Tall babies? Is he ok? What a weird thing to say

 

[aimz_yeah]

Tall babies? Is he ok? What a weird thing to say

I’m paraphrasing slightly because it was a while ago but he thought it was only because we want to give our children tall genes
(I mean I just love the assumption that all women want children, but that’s a whole different conversation).
But yeah, he swiftly got corrected and the conversation met it’s inevitable end

 

[Woolmercardington]

I also see the sarky height comments a lot. If they are actually tall then there would be no need for the sarky comment. I think it's just the short arses getting all pissy about it

Another thing I see loads is blokes sticking up their middle finger or two fingers at the camera. I really can't bear that. Either looks aggressive or trying really hard to give off a 'bad lad' vibe.

 

[lalalanded]

Also I wish guys would stop putting sarcy comments about their height on profile. Even the “6 foot as it seems so important “ guys are at it now. I’m sorry but I just don’t want to be bigger than a guy a date.

I had one guy inform me that women only care about height because we want tall babies. Oh F right off

Imagine if women did that with their weight! I guess it sucks to be objectified huh fellas?

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Imagine if women did that with their weight! I guess it sucks to be objectified huh fellas?

Imagine indeed.. “Size 10 because apparently that’s important” I might stick that on my profile for a week and see how many men have the self awareness to understand it.