Dating after Lockdown

[CynicalV]

Been using Bumble for a couple days now and started talking to one guy who from his bio seemed funny and had things in common. About 5 messages in he used all of these emojis across one single message:
Unmatched.

 

[lasttime]

Pretty sure I'm destined to be single. Haven't managed to get past a 3rd date with a guy in the 2 years I've been on dating apps. The latest we got as far as a 2nd date before he got super distant, asked him about it and he said he's just been busy with work (fair enough also I was pretty relaxed in my questioning didn't approach it in a pushy way but it had been 3 weeks since the 2nd meet) then a week later he said he wanted to cool things off because he's too busy to commit but we can stay friends and maybe date in a couple of months and that he didn't plan on looking for anyone else for this reason. Fast forward to tonight and me being nosey I check his bumble account because we're still matched, he's completely updated his profile so is obviously still using it. Why is being honest so difficult for these men?!
Sorry for the long rant but here feels like a suitable place to rant about it.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Remember when it was just, "So how is your weekend going?"

Ahhhh they were simpler times Now if anyone asks me that question, I immediately want to rip them a new one We’re in lockdown hun, it’s going the same way every weekend has gone since fucking December

 

[Pink blancmange]

Why do men want to meet after exchanging just a few lines of messages. My free time is precious, I need to decide if you’re worth giving it up for. And suggesting we form a bubble... I have barely decided if I can tolerate you yet!

Also, why do they all start putting kisses after one message? It makes me want to vomit

This!! As if you'd sacrifice a family bubble for a bit of meat off of tinder. Who do they think they are

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Can’t stand profiles that have this on it

 

[Glamourelle]

I have deleted all the apps (for the millionth time ) because I am just so sick of matching and messaging and agreeing to meet up and then men bailing at the last minute - it does my tits in! Does this happen to anyone else? It also happens to people I’ve met in real life too on nights out and stuff. Is it me, or are all men just fucking fickle?!

I genuinely believe men are a different species. That is the only logical explanation

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

It is really odd, isn't it? It's not the type of nonsense I would have pegged with him either. I'm more inclined to ignore him now rather than respond in any way.

So weird. Men are weird! My suggestion would be to ignore too! Xx

I have an update about the guy I posted about. I didn’t speak to him since Saturday or block him on WhatsApp (just incase he had the decency to say anything to me) long story short his texts were He is upset I hadn’t texted (delusional or what) him since Saturday and that I had unfollowed him on Instagram (how the f does he know?? Is he that sad he has an app?) anyway then I had missed calls, messages that I was childish, guarded and got blocked then unblocked () then he told me he wants casual and that he wishes me the best..

WTAF?

 

[sleepflowers]

When do these men in their mid-30s expect to settle down, especially if they want kids?! They are absolutely delusional

As for men catfishing, I know a lot of them do it so they can 'see how the other half live' ie. how many matches they'd get if they were actually attractive. It just seems like a pointless exercise to me, like you know what's going to happen (you'll get loads of matches) but all it does is make them more bitter Men on dating apps are their own worst enemy sometimes

 

[chanandlerbong]

I'm trying to stick with the attitude-if he likes you, he will let you know and you won't be questioning things.

It's such a hard thing to put into practice when you're in it but dating should be fun and exciting and never confusing/disheartening/unsettling. I have been messed about and treated like utter SHITE but when it came to my two relationships (one ex one current) dating them was easy breezy.

They made me happy not sad and I never once felt confused. If he likes you and wants a girlfriend he will be in touch after the date and line up the next one. Anything less and he's game playing (and a twat) or not interested

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

What about Instagram I thought that was where you meet people nowadays

Haha I met 2 guys on there all I can say is they ended up being crazy! One thought I could be his future wife after meeting me in person for 15 minutes and would call and text constantly. Told everyone about me, I had his friends follow me on Instagram, he was making plans and wanted me to come to weddings and things that were this year 2020 and we met like September last year. I had to block him it became overwhelming.

I definitely think there's a lot more sliding into people's DMs on Instagram going on nowadays

There is but, I think sometimes they’re married, in a relationship or others! Instagram is hard as I’m realising a lot is fake, also My friends and I were chatting about when a guys Instagram full of selfies and vain shirtless pics. It can be a turn off, aswell as if all the people they follow are bikini/ tattoo / underwear models

 

[under the ivy]

Ok so I’ve been looking (hunting) on Hinge recently. I downloaded it and thought I’d give it a go. (Yes I’m trying to online date even from my hospital bed ).

I matched with a guy, he messages me, I respond, he then takes forever to reply my responses to him.

He’s asked to meet, I agreed (lol I keep forgetting I’m currently an inpatient ) he’s then suggested me coming to his house and “promises to behave himself”.

I’ve said no and lo and behold he’s unmatched me.

Where are the decent men?! But who excepts a date to a random persons house?

Will I ever meet a guy?! I can’t die alone

You should say ‘I’m already bed bound but not in the way you'd hope’ I’m here all day

 

[whatktdid]

'We are desperate for human contact': people breaking lockdown for sex

For nearly 12 months, single people have been unable to form new relationships. With their chances to start a family or find love slipping away, many are now ignoring the rules

www.theguardian.com

Good article in the guardian about the state of things for everyone single or in a non-cohabitating relationship atm! Definitely agree that the current rules are favoured towards people in a classic nuclear family, but equally, I can see it is tough for the gov to branch out from that without compromising lives/overall progress in the pandemic

 

[under the ivy]

Educated but can’t spell fork.

View attachment 368739

Generally loves a bath... what?!

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

it's disappointing if you did like them.

You liked what you THOUGHT they were like.

 

[yankydoo]

Oh my gosh how hard work is going on socially distanced dates. had a second date today out in this baltic freezing weather on a park which was like an ice rink. SO difficult for conversation starters and realistically what does the future hold?? At what point will it not be a socially distanced walk in the park?! Bleak...

Ughhhh I know! It's so so crap. Totally ruins the mood.

Apps can be weird. I went on a tinder date last year (end of 2019 tbh) with this one guy- we had actually been forced to rearrange our date several times so we ended up messaging back and forth for a few weeks before we met up in person. From his pictures, I thought he was super hot and I was v into him.

Strangely, when we met up I didn't find myself nearly as attracted to him as i thought I'd be. It wasn't a catfish situation or that he looked different from his photos- but I just weirdly wasn't attracted to him in 3D. You don't really get a sense of someone's demeanour and body language etc over tinder. It just all fell quite flat lol and it felt like awkward between us - not much chemistry. Also, he'd sprayed himself with copious amounts of pungent aftershave or something which was kind of a turn-off lmao. Was a bit of a peculiar vibe given that we had chatted a fair bit beforehand - lesson learned. Don't do this too much as you'll only know if the chemistry is there until you meet in person.

I agree with you. When I first started on the apps I fell into the trap of planning my whole life with someone based on their pictures and messages hahaha.

I mentioned earlier in the thread that I will concentrate on myself should the last guy I dated go to crap. Didn't last long. I'm back on the apps. It's all well and good being single when you can be social and see your friends, but being home alone 24/7 is sooo dull. Also, I do want to meet someone and I guess this is the only way to do it at the moment.

I'm sure I'll be back on here with more dating disasters and conundrums!

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I started speaking to a guy on Hinge a few days ago and have migrated over to Whatsapp. It’s very anonymous which makes me suspicious immediately. He doesn’t have a picture on there and his name is just his first initial, not his full name. Immediately makes me think it’s a second phone

 

[Tea4u]

I’m back on Tinder after a long while and I cannot tell you how bored I am of the same questions.
1. How are you?
2. Where are you from?
3. What do you like to do for fun?
4. What are you looking for?

By the time you get to question 4 they’ve shown they’re just looking for something casual/fun and you have to have the same conversation AGAIN with someone new. And repeat.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Every fucking person is asking me how my Valentine’s was on Tinder. Do you think if I was taken/had a Valentine’s I’d be on tinder? AHHHHHGHH

Ahhhh yes. The new “So how’s lockdown been treating you?”

 

[YellowLadybird]

Also why does everyone suddenly want to convert a van and is looking for a girl to travel round in it with them. Nah mate, I’m strictly a nice hotel kind of guy. Not a converted van with barely enough room to roll over in

To each their own, but I've never understood the appeal of going travelling where you stay in grotty B&Bs and eat cheap food. For me, the fancy accommodation and nice food are the POINT. Like, I love the history stuff too, but not enough to shower with flipflops on yknow.

 

[misscl4]

I am so sick of conversations just turning to sex on dating sites. Even if I am open to casual I’m really not interested in just discussing sex. I want them to at least feign some interest in me.
It just seems like every guy sends like two messages before asking what I’m looking for and then if you mention casual it’s oh tell me all your sexual preferences.

it’s just depressing

I’ve noticed this a lot more in the past months, almost like lockdown being lifted meaning a tonne of men just want to f*** around. Most of those having have the personality of a plank of wood.