Dating after Lockdown

[Clover123]

I was chatting to this guy for a while, he seemed nice, good convo, and swapped numbers. Then he said would you like to meet up? I assumed for a walk, and he said fancy coming this way (brixton). This would mean me having to get the train, then a tube to meet this guy when i haven’t got a train since March, while he gets to sit at home and wait for me to arrive? So that was my first red flag, very ungentlemanly IMO, why should i have to travel all the way to you. So i said what would we do, there’s nothing open anywhere (trying to call him out cos i knew what was coming but hoping he’d say for a walk) He said ‘yeah nothing to do so fancy coming over next saturday at 8pm and we can have a drink and get to know eachother’. Like wtf does this dude really think i’d go round some random guys house when i’ve never met him before? We all hear the horror stories about murders so that was it for me. Plus the fact he didn’t acknowledge covid so god knows how many girls he’s asked round. I then didn’t reply and blanked him and he messaged again saying ‘obviously that wouldn’t be my first choice but like you said there’s no other option’. No other option?! Delete.

Oh god! I think a lot of guys have tried to work pubs being closed to their advantage by thinking they can get away with inviting a girl straight back to theirs probs the dream for some guys but I can't help but wonder how successful that is, surely no girl is falling for it?!

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Oh my days, what did I just read? It takes a special kind of psychopath to go about their life carefree, knowing they have a child out there that they don’t have a relationship with. How does he sleep at night?!

I hope you’re OK @Pink blancmange, that can’t be easy for you and I don’t know how you’ve kept quiet on it to be honest. I’d have been lashing out a Send To All email company-wide on my last day before maternity leave

 

[Bellaboo83]

Ok so update, he just bought me lunch to my work. Then text me after saying he felt awkward and uncomfortable and he doesn't know what to do as he likes us both but it is unfair on me that I know about her as in a few weeks/months time he could then say he likes her more and he's strung me along. He does want to keep seeing me but I think it's best that I end things now when it's only 2 dates in which is frustrating as we clicked straight away and definitely could've seen things going somewhere but I'm not going to 'compete' for him as that's not fair on me.

This reminds me of one of those quotes "if you ever have to choose between me and her, choose her". Poor him that he can't choose between you and her, it must be so awful for him ... Make his decision for him and block delete the rat. You're better than being someone's maybe and you certainly don't need to compete with anyone when the prize is someone who 'isn't quite sure'

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

I struggle to find one man I want to date, let alone multiple

Haha we’re so similar. This post reminded me of this too

 

[chanandlerbong]

Since then, I only had a couple of texts (but conversation pre-date was flowing) but he told me we could see each other next week if I was down for it (with a kiss at the end of the text). I don't know if it's a "normal" post first date behaviour but it confuses me a bit?

I think even if he is still interested he's definitely playing games which is disappointing and never a good sign !

"If he likes you, you'll know about it. If he doesn't, you'll be confused" is always good logic to apply

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

I really like the idea of this but have always found the reality difficult and time consuming, particularly in the talking stages.

I struggle to keep multiple conversations going at the same rate and always just end up gravitating more to one person and letting the others peter out. Which is annoying if it turns out that the one you’ve chosen to focus on is a time waster and you wish you hadn’t been so quick to dismiss the others

 

[Wowitsme]

Tbh I’d be super suspicious of someone who goes from super chatty in the week to mia the weekend. You don’t question a mans actions when he is interested in you because you will know and he will show it.

 

[bobthedragqueen]

I hope you're right! I've been happy by myself for years, I just want to enrich my life with a high value man...they never seem to appear to me!

I like to think I am on this one! I spent most of my 20's desperately trying to like any man I matched with on Tinder to no avail, because they were all crap and non-committal. All my friends were slowly getting into long-term relationships and let me tell you, there is not a worse feeling than sitting in a restaurant surrounded by all your friends and their plus ones. I felt like a spare part so many times, it was embarrassing. Shamefully and I am able to admit it now, I was jealous, wanted them to all break-up at times. It was like I was in competition with my friends which is just awful. When I eventually let go of trying to control that part of life and meet a perfect man who ticks every box (which doesn't even fucking exist!) and put myself first (Self-care is important ladies... and I found out so is enjoying those nights where you are the spare part... You get your drinks bought for you and lifts home because people feel sorry for ya!), I met someone and he's not at all 'stereotypically' perfect but he's just what I always wanted.

That's just my little story, I know it won't be the same for everyone but it's never like the movies and the course definitely never runs smoothly.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Let’s see a pic of him

Ooooffffff I don’t know if I can put him on blast so publicly I always have a recurring dread that I’ll post someone’s picture onto one of the dating threads and it’ll end up being someone’s husband

 

[Woolmercardington]

Ahhhh yes. The new “So how’s lockdown been treating you?”

Remember when it was just, "So how is your weekend going?"

 

[Wowitsme]

He broke up with me and it was unexpected (on my side anyway). No nastiness just a lot of upset for me. Not sure how he feels as there’s been little contact apart from him arranging to see me, which in itself I’m trying not to overthink x

Personally I wouldn’t meet him at all. Keep moving forward.

 

[Keylimepie99]

I think with texting, a lot can be misunderstood and lost! My partner was an over texter, 3 years ago I matched him on tinder, told him he was too much, and where to go. 3 years later..... madly in love with him!!He's the kindest, most loving soul! I completely forgot we even spoke 3 years ago! I just feel someones personality can be portrayed quite differently over text!!

 

[yankydoo]

I was honest and he sent a really nice reply back and said if anything changes then to contact him. Thanks for the advice guys! His nice reply has now made me think I may be missing out hahahaha. Knowing how dating works though I bet the guy I like will disappear soon and I will be hitting this guy up again

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

View attachment 522477

I’m not sure what impression he’s hoping to give with that, but it immediately gives me sexual predator vibes like he’d be really forceful and forward the second you met him and wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“Just let me give you a good snog. You WILL feel it!”

 

[This.is.me]

Why are some men also so cowardly? Saying I’d love to see you, actions not matching that, given lots of opportunities to say he doesn’t want to see me again which is absolutely fine if he doesn’t. He’s still saying he wants to see me but I’m not getting that vibe at all. I hate my time being wasted. I thought he was nice too

 

[Wowitsme]

Thank you all for your responses. I’m ok just a bit I felt really taken back and dirty on my way home. Just glad really I made it home. I also really wish i didn’t go on the first date either!

Spoiler: Add* TW

this happened when he was hugging me. He then pinned me against a wall, which is how he grabbed my hand to move it there god I feel sick at writing that

. I told a friend and obviously wrote that on here but that’s it for me.

To the person who said about boundaries I completely agree! please feel free to be honest and post whatever you think I know I (probably all of us too) appreciate all answers. Xxxx

I actually think that’s disgusting for a second date. Imagine being in a room alone with this person just no not acceptable behaviour at all and massive red flags to me.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

He swiped right for me.
I think I’ll be swiping left.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Ok so I’ve been looking (hunting) on Hinge recently. I downloaded it and thought I’d give it a go. (Yes I’m trying to online date even from my hospital bed ).

I matched with a guy, he messages me, I respond, he then takes forever to reply my responses to him.

He’s asked to meet, I agreed (lol I keep forgetting I’m currently an inpatient ) he’s then suggested me coming to his house and “promises to behave himself”.

I’ve said no and lo and behold he’s unmatched me.

Where are the decent men?! Who excepts a date to a random persons house?

Will I ever meet a guy?! I can’t die alone

 

[Ebby]

Maybe these guys just like the chase so once you agree to meet, the fun is over for them? Or maybe they are arent good with commitment so it brings them into reality when you talk about actually meeting up and they freak out. Who knows! But not worth you wasting anymore of your time on them imo.

 

[This.is.me]

Ironic that this ad comes up whilst on this thread...he’s pretty hot though