Dating after Lockdown

[HitchhikingGhost]

I went on my lockdown date last week. Once the nerves had died down (for both of us), we had a good really time, chatted all night and got food and drinks and sat outside.

He said he had a good time and was talking about other things we could do for future dates. Said he had no doubt in his mind that we would get on and it's been rare for him to meet someone on his level like me.

Fast forward to the next day and over Easter, barely heard from him and he was always a regular texter. I can see he's online on whatsapp. Don't know whether to give it the benefit of the doubt as it has been Easter etc but just annoying as a lot of the positive signs came from him in the first place.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Do any women actually want all night long sex? He had swiped me. No thank you.

 

[Sprottish]

I have downloaded the dreaded apps out of boredom and desperation again and it’s shocking how many people have asked to meet up, within minutes of talking. In a national lockdown.

This! Even if the guy was super charming and intelligent and we bounced off each other, if he disregards the lockdown at all, times up pal!

Because I live alone as well, they always seem to say "I can be your bubble?" Erm, no, I can think of a lot of other people i'd rather see than meet up with a stranger thank you!

I did manage to have three "walk in a park" dates with someone (the same guy!) and he was actually really up my street and I enjoyed myself a lot, I was surprised I managed to keep the conversation flowing for three whole dates...however now I really have well and truly run out of things to talk about. I feel like i've covered my entire life history and there really is nothing left to talk about. I haven't replied now in over a week, oops. I feel bad but I'm also on the brink of giving up because this is just going to happen again!!

 

[leoladyxo]

I’m new to this thread. During lockdown I had to shield and I was in a relationship with a man twice my age. I am 26 and he is 50. We split up at the end of August after 3.5 years and I left because he started smoking cannabis every day, became verbally abusive to me and began to rape me. Not violently, but the type of rape where you didn’t consent to something, and they do it anyway. I didn’t see that there was anything worth saving.

I was living three hours from my hometown at the time (as I moved for that relationship) and someone from my hometown slid into my Instagram DMs to see how I was doing. I told him everything and how difficult everything was. He listened and was a good friend to me for three months. Over time, I began emotionally cheating with this man. I developed feelings and our conversations became very sexual and would flow naturally. I tried to cut him off several times and realised I couldn’t. He asked if I wanted to meet up with him when next in my hometown, just to see what it would be like in person. It was great fun. We played mini golf and ate ice cream walking along the seafront. He came back to my house in my hometown and we had mind blowing sex - best I’ve ever had type stuff. I’ve never felt so connected to someone in that way, even from the first time. I didn’t feel guilty and knew that even if it didn’t work out with him, that I needed to leave for me. He asked me if I wanted to go out with his friends later that night and I declined because people would talk - but he still stayed and cuddled me for two hours.

Fast forward to now and we are together. I’ve met all of his family and friends. My friends love him. The sex continues to be ridiculous. He is the type of person to make anything fun. We are back in Tier 2 here now and that means we can’t stay over each other’s houses but are determined to make it work, even if it means lots of walks in the rain or a public romp somewhere. Am I joking? Not sure.

Just wanted to share what I feel is a positive story. Love can come out of the darkest places.

 

[Champagnecampaign]

I am dying at the chinchilla

 

[coconochanel]

As everyone else say book somewhere. Because things are different.

Make sure your phone is fully charged (heck even carry a portable charger) because a lot of places are doing QR codes which can drain batteries

2m can be done, most are taking bookings for this reason but if they are fit AF that won't last (trust me lol)

Good luck and update us xxxx


Bars best places as they take bookings that are socially distanced
Roof top bars are even better

Already had the first date meeting up for a coffee later today.

 

[coconochanel]

Does anyone even use snapchat anymore its a bit 2018.

 

[lalalanded]

Just as an aside, I've had this happen so many times as have some of my friends. The jumping through hoops, the almost over keeness etc etc to absolutely nothing. I will never understand it. My friend had it happen to her weeks before she was about to move in with someone when he was the one pushing for it. And he told her via text. I'll never understand it.

 

[Dot_Cotton]

@doodlebug no don’t send another message. You said you were talking all of the time then it just stopped. He’s either not arsed, has a girlfriend/wife or found someone else to chat to. He can’t be missing the conversation if he hasn’t got in touch. Put it down to experience. I know it must be shit when this happens but you have to let these things go.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

My god, was this guy wanting to upload his CV and put it on Tinder by mistake? How booooring 🥱

Thought he was on LinkedIn didn’t he bless ‘im

 

[LittleBird]

Ladies, tonight we have hit a new low in dry conversation.

A guy I'm talking to wanted a face paced honest question round. His questions? Do I like marmite and what's my favourite crisp flavour.

I. AM. OUT

 

[Eyerollbrainache]

Okay gang I need some advice. So I got tinder (think I posted about this last weekend) anyway met two guys from there and have been texting, seem to get on really well with one. So I went on a date last night, we went for a distanced walk along the seafront, coffee then had dinner (takeaway fish and chips). We don’t know each other before at all but during the evening he grabbed me and kissed me. now I feel like we seemed “click” but I was really taken aback brazenness to kiss someone you don’t know, in a pandemic???? has anyone dealt with this before. I get he lives alone and isn’t seeing people (or so he says yanooo men lie) but I’m actually a bit he also has started to call me bub babe and baby in texts

(I know there’s a chance some may be angry I went on this date, if you’ve read my posts before please know it’s hard out here and I really do/ have done everything to obey the rules)

We’ve already said we want to see each other again and I have agreed to see him tomorrow but I don’t know I just feel some sort of way now this morning we kinda said we could end up bubbling too but I feel weird af this morning honestly. Also feels like we’ve done 0-50 in an evening.

For off, we are a year in to the pandemic - a YEAR! So, going on a date isn't the worst thing ever and it's been lonely AF this past year as single people. It's not any different to seeing a friend for a walk (minus the kiss haha).

On the 0-50 part, I get what you mean. I tend to freak out and panic when anything happens fast too. Try to think of it as if we weren't in a pandemic. Would you still feel like it's weird if 'bubbles' weren't a thing? If you were allowed to eat in a restaurant yesterday and have a glass of wine, would it of felt weird? I think the prospect of 'bubbles' and the whole 'social distancing/no touching' part makes it seem weirder in our minds.

If you two had a wicked date (as you did), and he kissed you when it wasn't breaking 'rules' then suggested a second date - would that feel weird?

I'm all for believing in our feelings and if made you feel weird, that would be different but if its just the whole pandemic and bubble part - then maybe just say yeah let's have a second date and see.

The bubs/babe/baby thing if you don't like it, just say I don't like pet names. I personally hate them and I say that when a guy uses them and it stops.

If that's a lot of rubbish rambles I'm sorry been out the dating game for a while and I'm so single I forget how to talk to men

 

[Alf]

Thanks @If you say so... @bobthedragqueen and @sleepflowers for your replies, made me feel better! Gonna try and ditch the apps for a while, focus on Christmas with the family
Hope you went on your date @Glamourelle ! And it went well, never know, might be the 'one'.

 

[Sosig]

Yes, I’ve always heard that tinder is just for random shags

I know a girl who met her now husband on tinder like 6 years ago!

I was online dating for about 18 months before I got with my boyfriend, matching with people who had awful chat, nothing in common, bad dates etc.

I think you have to sift through a log of frogs to actually get some success online.

Stay away from Plenty Of Fish for your own sanity

 

[Woolmercardington]

I think

Just as an aside, I've had this happen so many times as have some of my friends. The jumping through hoops, the almost over keeness etc etc to absolutely nothing. I will never understand it. My friend had it happen to her weeks before she was about to move in with someone when he was the one pushing for it. And he told her via text. I'll never understand it.

Happens so often. I do think a lot of men do get genuinely excited when they meet a woman they like and go overboard with keenness. But then when reality and practicalities kick in and the initial excitement wears off, it's a different story.

I think a lot then fade out because they just can't deal with any form of confrontation or they have some stupid preconceived notion that the woman will go "crazy" if they break it off.

 

[yankydoo]

Not in debt?! What’s it got to do with him anyway!!!

View attachment 358946

Wonder if he requests copies of your bank accounts before the first date

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

An absolute classic here along with 37 not 32 or whatever their bio says.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

So this time I replied "it's been lovely chatting to you, but it's clear I'm not getting anywhere here, I wish you lots of luck in finding what you're looking for" he then replied after 1 minute "what did you want me to say?" hahaha

So he’s acted disengaged and disinterested and he’ll know he has. Then when you’ve called him out on it, he’s reached straight for the gaslight. Trying to make you feel silly for saying something and doubting what you can clearly see is happening. Classic narcissist

 

[HitchhikingGhost]

I went on my lockdown date last week. Once the nerves had died down (for both of us), we had a good really time, chatted all night and got food and drinks and sat outside.

He said he had a good time and was talking about other things we could do for future dates. Said he had no doubt in his mind that we would get on and it's been rare for him to meet someone on his level like me.

Fast forward to the next day and over Easter, barely heard from him and he was always a regular texter. I can see he's online on whatsapp. Don't know whether to give it the benefit of the doubt as it has been Easter etc but just annoying as a lot of the positive signs came from him in the first place.

Quoting myself. Hadn't really heard from him so just sent a message to say, shall we leave it then? You can say if you want to, it's fine, type thing.

Then got a reply to say he doesn't know but the distance has been on his mind. We live about an hr and a half away, I drive but he doesn't. We discussed this when we first started talking and he said distance shouldn't be a boundary if you like someone. Not saying he's allowed to change his mind but he could've said sooner as I had to dig to get it out of him. At least I know now

 

[drewydrop]

I don't know if this makes sense but do you feel that you find it harder and harder to know if you like someone or if you are making do? I guess if I am thinking about making do then I am. Sometimes I think I'm just being picky or I don't even know what I'm looking for sometimes.

I've been on a few walks with a guy and at first I really liked him but I have suddenly developed the "ick" and I don't even know why?! There's nothing wrong with him. I need to end it and I feel a bit bad but hey ho.

I totally get this. I haven’t dated since summer 2019 but need to get back out there. I’m dreading it but I’m not getting any younger!! I met someone on Tinder in Sept’ 19, chatted for a week and it was great but when we met I wasn’t sure, didn’t immediately fancy him and thought we were too different, I was honest with him but felt maybe I was being too picky. We met a few more times and I grew to like him more but still didn’t think we were that compatible. We ended up being together a year and I did fall in love with him and I do think he’s great but obviously not meant to be. There were certain traits that still really annoyed me about him and I kept thinking we had too many differences to make it last although he told me we didn’t and we were very well suited. We had a very rocky year, his mental health plus lockdown not helping anyone, and we ended up breaking up in October but I do now think maybe I was right all along and should’ve nipped it in the bud from the beginning. It’s really difficult to know though as I don’t think you know they’re the one straight away and things take time, but your gut instinct is usually right.