@Bettyboo2021 have you both locked in an actual date yet?
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No...not an actual date I asked him if he would like to meet again but so far a date hasn’t been mentioned
Just say something like "I'm just looking at my diary to see about our date, how does Friday for dinner work for you?"No...not an actual date I asked him if he would like to meet again but so far a date hasn’t been mentioned
Obviously change date to whatever suits but it is a bit more solid than leaving it up in the air with an "I don't mind"
Haha yesIt doesn't sound like he is just polite at all.
He seems really nice.
I think you could make it easier for him if you make a few more suggestions, eg he asked you if you prefer lunch or dinner and you said "I don't mind". This leaves it all to him to a) decide whether it is going to be lunch or dinner and b) find a place.
Right now I picture you as this girl in "The Notebook" and Ryan Gosling shouting at you "What do you want??"
I think I’m super hesitant now because last few days I haven’t had a response to my last message so I’ve been the one to text the next day (in effect, double texting) xxHe’s been really quiet on the messages last few days...so when I asked that yesterday I was kind of protecting myself I guess....I haven’t heard off him since yesterday the text i sent About the collie...if I send another one now that’ll be 3rd day in a row of double texting...literally I haven’t had a date since with anyone (except him last week) since January...I do really like him from the short lunch date we had...I never seem to be “that girl” that guys are really fired up for- always feel like the filler or the one before the one like men don’t really ever fancy me loads, they just usually end up saying I’m a nice girl just not for them
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I agree with this. Personally I really dislike an “I don’t mind” as it doesn’t sound reassuring. One thing I’d also add, and this is just my personal opinion, but in your message to him you said about bringing your dog if he can find a place where dogs are allowed. That sounded a bit like “you make the effort, you find a place, and you plan the date”. I know you’re probably just being hesitant but you should be a little bit more decisive, and like others have said, suggest an actual day and maybe a little bit more effort and suggest you look up some places too? If I was going on a date with someone who wants to bring their dog, I would expect them to suggest a place that allows dogsIt doesn't sound like he is just polite at all.
He seems really nice.
I think you could make it easier for him if you make a few more suggestions, eg he asked you if you prefer lunch or dinner and you said "I don't mind". This leaves it all to him to a) decide whether it is going to be lunch or dinner and b) find a place.
Right now I picture you as this girl in "The Notebook" and Ryan Gosling shouting at you "What do you want??"
The reason I didn’t suggest a place is because He’s so busy If we do meet up I’ll have to drive over his way (60 mile round trip) like last time...I don’t really know any places near himI agree with this. Personally I really dislike an “I don’t mind” as it doesn’t sound reassuring. One thing I’d also add, and this is just my personal opinion, but in your message to him you said about bringing your dog if he can find a place where dogs are allowed. That sounded a bit like “you make the effort, you find a place, and you plan the date”. I know you’re probably just being hesitant but you should be a little bit more decisive, and like others have said, suggest an actual day and maybe a little bit more effort and suggest you look up some places too? If I was going on a date with someone who wants to bring their dog, I would expect them to suggest a place that allows dogs
I honestly felt before I asked him to meet up he had gone really quiet, like no texts since 2pm yesterday...obvs it’s tinder he’s likely seeing others which is cool but if he doesn’t want to meet I wish he would just say he’s not feeling it? (No one else has an issue saying that to me ) what I’m trying to say is you know the vibe you get when the conversation is fading away, that’s the vibe I’m getting xxHmm.. to me it does look like he’s busy but he also sounds keen to see you again! One advice I always give people when it comes to dating is - don’t doubt someone until they give you a valid reason to.The reason I didn’t suggest a place is because He’s so busy If we do meet up I’ll have to drive over his way (60 mile round trip) like last time...I don’t really know any places near him
It’s still very early days and you’re getting to know each other and maybe you have different communication needs - you want a bit more contact whereas he is content with the amount you’ve got (you’ve mentioned he’s busy). So just because you don’t have the same communication, doesn’t mean he isn’t interested
Don’t over think it (I know it’s easier said than done) and suggest a day and confirm if you’d rather lunch or dinner!
I’m sure if he didn’t want to see you again, he wouldn’t be going through the hassle of suggesting things!
Thank you...re: the busyness I know his job is, and he has 3 young kids, also have a slight concern he might be married...I found him on LinkedIn but no social media...he’s such a good catch (I don’t mean money or looks, I mean established responsible and well balanced and mature) you do wonder WHY he’s single..could also explain the quiet periodsHmm.. to me it does look like he’s busy but he also sounds keen to see you again! One advice I always give people when it comes to dating is - don’t doubt someone until they give you a valid reason to.
It’s still very early days and you’re getting to know each other and maybe you have different communication needs - you want a bit more contact whereas he is content with the amount you’ve got (you’ve mentioned he’s busy). So just because you don’t have the same communication, doesn’t mean he isn’t interested
Don’t over think it (I know it’s easier said than done) and suggest a day and confirm if you’d rather lunch or dinner!
I’m sure if he didn’t want to see you again, he wouldn’t be going through the hassle of suggesting things!
xx
I've been absolutely fine this week until now where I'm having an "I miss him" wobble but just need to remind myself that it was nothing I did....his loss etc but spose its natural after so long to have some downer moments lol
Is there any reason why you think he might be married?Thank you...re: the busyness I know his job is, and he has 3 young kids, also have a slight concern he might be married...I found him on LinkedIn but no social media...he’s such a good catch (I don’t mean money or looks, I mean established responsible and well balanced and mature) you do wonder WHY he’s single..could also explain the quiet periods
I’m sure you’re also a good catch and he might be wondering how it is that you’re single!
My suggestion is, if his communication or quiet periods worry you - just bring it up in a lighthearted way next time you see him! See what he says and then you can establish what he is like when it comes to dating and whether he’s a good match for you
xxTo be honest I think you're coming across really passive and not bothered, though appreciate that we're just seeing a small part of your convo with him. It shouldn't be difficult to say to him 'does the park on Sunday at 11 suit' and if it doesn't then he will most likely make a suggestion for somewhere else. You want to bring the dog so why is it his job to find dog friendly places?Ok...so we had this convo yesterday but nothing since..there were just couple messages after that I wonder if he’d saying about meeting up just to be polite
I know you say you keep initiating the convo but that's the easy part. It's keeping it going and arranging dates that requires the effort. 'I don't mind' is a surefire way to kill any date plans, I'd actually ghost someone who kept responding like that because I'd fear if we got into a relationship that I'd end up having to plan everything. I'd want an equal in the relationship not a passenger and I don't think you're acting as an equal right now.
I’m really trying my best in the current circumstances, given I’m juggling a stressful Job, grief, a new little dog with some really difficult issues...I do want to see him but all the energy I have is being used just getting through each day
I know, and maybe dating right now isn't the right option for you. It seems like he's juggling a lot too with a busy job, parenting 3 kids etc so maybe you both should take a break and revisit in a while when things are settled.I’m really trying my best in the current circumstances, given I’m juggling a stressful Job, grief, a new little dog with some really difficult issues...I do want to see him but all the energy I have is being used just getting through each day
So what time is wine night lol
but I'm a couple of hours ahead of you lot!I've been feeling really bitter and jealous today of all the happy families at the park, I want that.i never had that as a child and now my child is missing out on it too, even though her dad and I not being together is absolutely for the best. I know it's absolutely my problem and a mindset problem etc etc so I'm having a large gin and a cuddle with my little one.
I'm also blaming hormones due to TOTM
I'm also blaming hormones due to TOTM
Thank you, I am going to have a glass or 2 of wine tonight to get brave and match him
I downloaded bumble....can you not see anyone whose liked you unless you pay??
I’m here for wine night 
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I'm so worried about this guy I'm dating. All was normal a few days ago. He messaged me one morning a massive long message asking how I was, that he missed me, jokes, about his plans for the day etc. I WhatsApped him back and it delivered. But I didn't hear from him in a day so sent him another just asking if he was okay as I usually hear from him by now. One tick. I'm not blocked as I tried to add him to a group and it works and I can see his profile picture etc.
I have tried calling and it just rings out. Nothing makes sense and I am doing my absolute nut in. He hasn't blocked me or anything but just seems to have completely gone off the radar.
When I asked what he did for work he was just "a bit of this and that" and it genuinely worries me he has got in trouble. Either that or he has hit a low and is ignoring everything from the outside world.
From the outside looking in I'd say "yeah he's not interested and trying to avoid you". But that it was so abrupt and it's not like he has blocked me on anything as the phone still rings and not blocked on WhatsApp...
I am so worried that something has happened to him.
I have tried calling and it just rings out. Nothing makes sense and I am doing my absolute nut in. He hasn't blocked me or anything but just seems to have completely gone off the radar.
When I asked what he did for work he was just "a bit of this and that" and it genuinely worries me he has got in trouble. Either that or he has hit a low and is ignoring everything from the outside world.
From the outside looking in I'd say "yeah he's not interested and trying to avoid you". But that it was so abrupt and it's not like he has blocked me on anything as the phone still rings and not blocked on WhatsApp...
I am so worried that something has happened to him.
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