Dating after lockdown #6 Block him!

[HelloStereo]

Hi - mind if I join you? Just started dating after divorce so its all new to me. I'm texting a few men who all sound nice but its all about the chemistry in real life isnt it? I must say that I have found my detective skills to be excellent. One man had his first name and occupation on his profile and from that I have found his LInkedin, address, ex wife etc!! I am in the wrong job.

@HelloStereo what an excellent first date!

Haha pull up a chair and join in! I know what you mean about having chemistry in real life. It's a numbers game I think as some people are lovely on paper but you see them and just nothing . I have my first name and occupation on my profile a bit worried what people are finding out about me now

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

is he not reading your message then? Or has he left you on read? I feel like I’ve missed something

He messaged me on Saturday morning, I replied answering his question. Then I kept checking if he had been on WhatsApp throughout the day like a nutcase.

 

[Bettyboo2021]

Omg hope you had the best night! We might have walked past each other, living our best lives in Bristol city centre

Omg we may have! I went to slug at lettuce in town centre, then Mckenzie’s then BSB then pitcher and piano which was the happiest place so nice to see people having a good time after so much loss staying at mercure grand with my friend! Where did you go? Xx

Hi - mind if I join you? Just started dating after divorce so its all new to me. I'm texting a few men who all sound nice but its all about the chemistry in real life isnt it? I must say that I have found my detective skills to be excellent. One man had his first name and occupation on his profile and from that I have found his LInkedin, address, ex wife etc!! I am in the wrong job.

@HelloStereo what an excellent first date!

Welcome this place is like a nice cup of tea in bed in the morning xx

He messaged me on Saturday morning, I replied answering his question. Then I kept checking if he had been on WhatsApp throughout the day like a nutcase.

Anxiety over this stuff is horrible...I do it myself so I can’t tell you to stop
Doing it. My best advice would be to turn your phone off to
Everyone for a few hours and go on a Really long walk (where you can’t access it) walking helps with stress

 

[Not_A_Troll]

Been off these threads for a while but I need an opinion to see if I’m overreacting.
I’ve been chatting to this guy for a few weeks, he seemed really sweet but there were just a few things that made me a bit uncomfortable. Fairly early on he asked a question about my pubic hair, I told him that was too much too soon and he dropped it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We’ve exchanged a few (innocent) pics and he made a comment on one saying that it made him want to see more, I ignored it but it was starting to give me the ick a bit.
Move onto this week where obviously it has been really hot, he sends me a body pic, no face, just his body laid on his bed in his boxers (I’m grateful he wasn’t naked!) that has just put me off completely and I feel like he’s completely ignored where I’ve tried to draw a line. I haven’t bothered responding

 

[Woolmercardington]

Mine has always been off but his isn’t. So I keep changing my settings so my status is seen just so I can see his last seen

Oh yeah, done this myself

why would you even put that?

I recently saw a profile and all that it consisted of was, "It's been a roller-coaster few years for me. I lost my dad in 2012. Then my mum passed away in 2016."

And that was it! Now it's sad he's lost both his parents (he was mid-30's) but how is referencing their death (from nine and five years ago respectively) appropriate for a dating profile? Unless if was a manipulative tactic to get sympathy and making you feel the baddie for swiping left

Been off these threads for a while but I need an opinion to see if I’m overreacting.
I’ve been chatting to this guy for a few weeks, he seemed really sweet but there were just a few things that made me a bit uncomfortable. Fairly early on he asked a question about my pubic hair, I told him that was too much too soon and he dropped it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We’ve exchanged a few (innocent) pics and he made a comment on one saying that it made him want to see more, I ignored it but it was starting to give me the ick a bit.
Move onto this week where obviously it has been really hot, he sends me a body pic, no face, just his body laid on his bed in his boxers (I’m grateful he wasn’t naked!) that has just put me off completely and I feel like he’s completely ignored where I’ve tried to draw a line. I haven’t bothered responding

Definitely pushing to get things on a sexual track before you're ready.

 

[HelloStereo]

Been off these threads for a while but I need an opinion to see if I’m overreacting.
I’ve been chatting to this guy for a few weeks, he seemed really sweet but there were just a few things that made me a bit uncomfortable. Fairly early on he asked a question about my pubic hair, I told him that was too much too soon and he dropped it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We’ve exchanged a few (innocent) pics and he made a comment on one saying that it made him want to see more, I ignored it but it was starting to give me the ick a bit.
Move onto this week where obviously it has been really hot, he sends me a body pic, no face, just his body laid on his bed in his boxers (I’m grateful he wasn’t naked!) that has just put me off completely and I feel like he’s completely ignored where I’ve tried to draw a line. I haven’t bothered responding

It sounds like he does not really respect your boundaries.

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

@Not_A_Troll you said you feel uncomfortable and he's given you the ick previously. Stick to your gut instinct & good sense and delete his number and don't get further involved. He asked you about your pubic hair early on?!?! Gross, that's not normal. If I met a stranger in a bar & they asked me that in an attempt to flirt/ strike up conversation I'd run a mile? I feel like the grossness of men on apps has become normalised to the point where you think you're over reacting. Believe me you are not!!

 

[Not_A_Troll]

@Not_A_Troll you said you feel uncomfortable and he's given you the ick previously. Stick to your gut instinct & good sense and delete his number and don't get further involved. He asked you about your pubic hair early on?!?! Gross, that's not normal. If I met a stranger in a bar & they asked me that in an attempt to flirt/ strike up conversation I'd run a mile? I feel like the grossness of men on apps has become normalised to the point where you think you're over reacting. Believe me you are not!!

You’re exactly right, I think the bar is set so low now that you start to wonder if you’re being unreasonable for wanting just a bit of respect. I’ve blocked and deleted him now

 

[Wowitsme]

@Not_A_Troll you said you feel uncomfortable and he's given you the ick previously. Stick to your gut instinct & good sense and delete his number and don't get further involved. He asked you about your pubic hair early on?!?! Gross, that's not normal. If I met a stranger in a bar & they asked me that in an attempt to flirt/ strike up conversation I'd run a mile? I feel like the grossness of men on apps has become normalised to the point where you think you're over reacting. Believe me you are not!!

That is a perfect way to put it. No one would dare speak to you like that in person after just meeting but it’s ok via app/text. I feel like once someone gives you the ick it just gets worse and worse in my experience.

He messaged me on Saturday morning, I replied answering his question. Then I kept checking if he had been on WhatsApp throughout the day like a nutcase.

Oh that can make you feel even worse when you’re checking. I know it’s difficult but try and keep busy but it is horrible when you feel like that.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Date went really well he wears his heart on his sleeve and I'm not that type of person, so I'm gonna need to remember that not everyone is like me. I just struggle to differentiate between is he love bombing or is he just a nice person? He's told me he's not interested in talking to anyone else and he would like to see me again, so we shall see!

 

[aimz_yeah]

Such a catch

 

[no-no]

Wow, I didn’t know you had to message guys first on bumble, is that correct? I’m so out of touch. I’ve been getting matches and thinking why are they all expecting me to message first I feel like there should be another thread called Dummy’s Guide to Dating Apps for people like me

 

[aimz_yeah]

Wow, I didn’t know you had to message guys first on bumble, is that correct? I’m so out of touch. I’ve been getting matches and thinking why are they all expecting me to message first I feel like there should be another thread called Dummy’s Guide to Dating Apps for people like me

Its meant to be a selling point. My friend loved it because it gave her the power and didn't have any unwanted messages. I think its a bit of a gimmick. Although currently tinder works the same way as 80% of guys don't message first even if they get the match

 

[square_spoon]

Well if I had posted yesterday I’d be telling you I’m chatting to two very pleasant ‘normal’ guys on pof…posting today one has gone a bit quiet (totally fine) and the other is love bombing me hardcore wanting to video chat with me every five bloody minutes and telling me he’s sure he ‘wants me in his life xxx’. Getting the major ick from him today We video chatted for around an hour yesterday evening and now I’m not picking up the video calls he’s asking what I’m ‘hiding’!!

 

[mehere]

Date went really well he wears his heart on his sleeve and I'm not that type of person, so I'm gonna need to remember that not everyone is like me. I just struggle to differentiate between is he love bombing or is he just a nice person? He's told me he's not interested in talking to anyone else and he would like to see me again, so we shall see!

Aww I'm so happy for you after all you've been through I know it's easier said than done but try not to over think it and just enjoy the first stages and getting to know them. Keep us updated xxx

 

[Bellaboo83]

Ooooh man

Second date last night and had sex. I notice today he's been on bumble (his location has changed)

He's not messaged me either

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Date went really well he wears his heart on his sleeve and I'm not that type of person, so I'm gonna need to remember that not everyone is like me. I just struggle to differentiate between is he love bombing or is he just a nice person? He's told me he's not interested in talking to anyone else and he would like to see me again, so we shall see!

This sounds really nice, I am happy for you!

Ooooh man

Second date last night and had sex. I notice today he's been on bumble (his location has changed)

He's not messaged me either

That's a shame he hasn't messaged. I feel like after sex men should get in touch the following morning.

You know, I am not sure if the location only changes in Bumble when you log in /open it - someone I dated drove across the country and his location changed frequently. I don't think he opened the app every time he entered a new town.

 

[Bettyboo2021]

Date went really well he wears his heart on his sleeve and I'm not that type of person, so I'm gonna need to remember that not everyone is like me. I just struggle to differentiate between is he love bombing or is he just a nice person? He's told me he's not interested in talking to anyone else and he would like to see me again, so we shall see!

This makes me so happy I think you’ll know if it’s love bombing or genuine interest based on whether it’s over top cringe or just sweet and keen...some of the best advice givers here can help too xx

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

As I had told you, I am back in touch with the guy I was seeing (he lives an hour away, has a small child and is planning to relocate to the country in which his child lives, we kind of broke it off for a while when he didn't get in touch with me for almost a week).

We saw each other on Friday, after 2,5 weeks, and spent the late afternoon and evening together.
First we went to hang out I a park, which was nice (and a bit hot, as we had sneaky sex in a remote part - nobody was around), and then we went to a local restaurant for dinner. This was also nice, we had a good conversation and held hands etc, but at some stage he said "... because both of us aren't in a relationship right now.". And I thought: Ok, obviously we just have meaningless sex.
This comment was a bit hurtful but it also opened my eyes. I didn't show any irritation, just carried on eating and chatting.
After dinner we walked back to my place to cuddle and he talked about our adventure in the park and said something like "normally when you try something adventurous..." and I interrupted him and asked if he was comparing me, which he denied (but I think he was thinking about other experiences).
I left the following morning to start a two-week holiday and I asked him how he feels about us not seeing each other for 2-3 weeks between meeting.
He said that it was ok as we would text and also occasionally talk.

Before we said good-bye I asked him how he would feel about us meeting/seeing other people as well and he said he didn't know how he felt about it.
He then had to leave and hugged me saying that he really wants to see me again even if he is in touch infrequently during his holiday and this would be as he would be busy with his child. and that he had a nice time and he enjoyed it.

What bothered me as well (apart from the two comments I had mentioned) - when we finished dinner and wanted to pay he asked how we wanted to handle this. I suggested to simply split the bill which he did.
He should have invited me - we met up for a few months now and had a sexual relationship, so just buy me dinner FFS!

This and the two comments really put me off.
He texted me the following day saying he got the train ok etc but I haven't responded yet (he texted yesterday late morning) as I need space.

Obviously he sees me as a kind of duck-buddy, not a lady that he wants to impress. Hmmmmm.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

As I had told you, I am back in touch with the guy I was seeing (he lives an hour away, has a small child and is planning to relocate to the country in which his child lives, we kind of broke it off for a while when he didn't get in touch with me for almost a week).

We saw each other on Friday, after 2,5 weeks, and spent the late afternoon and evening together.
First we went to hang out I a park, which was nice (and a bit hot, as we had sneaky sex in a remote part - nobody was around), and then we went to a local restaurant for dinner. This was also nice, we had a good conversation and held hands etc, but at some stage he said "... because both of us aren't in a relationship right now.". And I thought: Ok, obviously we just have meaningless sex.
This comment was a bit hurtful but it also opened my eyes. I didn't show any irritation, just carried on eating and chatting.
After dinner we walked back to my place to cuddle and he talked about our adventure in the park and said something like "normally when you try something adventurous..." and I interrupted him and asked if he was comparing me, which he denied (but I think he was thinking about other experiences).
I left the following morning to start a two-week holiday and I asked him how he feels about us not seeing each other for 2-3 weeks between meeting.
He said that it was ok as we would text and also occasionally talk.

Before we said good-bye I asked him how he would feel about us meeting/seeing other people as well and he said he didn't know how he felt about it.
He then had to leave and hugged me saying that he really wants to see me again even if he is in touch infrequently during his holiday and this would be as he would be busy with his child. and that he had a nice time and he enjoyed it.

What bothered me as well (apart from the two comments I had mentioned) - when we finished dinner and wanted to pay he asked how we wanted to handle this. I suggested to simply split the bill which he did.
He should have invited me - we met up for a few months now and had a sexual relationship, so just buy me dinner FFS!

This and the two comments really put me off.
He texted me the following day saying he got the train ok etc but I haven't responded yet (he texted yesterday late morning) as I need space.

Obviously he sees me as a kind of duck-buddy, not a lady that he wants to impress. Hmmmmm.

I think he’s absolutely full of balls to be honest with you, he’s drip feeding enough for you to stay around.