Did you message him in on his personal instagram ?
Dating after lockdown #36 Have you dated a man? You may be entitled to compensation.
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If you mean me, yes I did.
I don't really know what's going on anymore but I think the advice given has all been in good faith. I only speak for myself but I would hate for you, or any other woman on this thread, to turn up on Friday at 5am thinking it's a date when the man thought he was carrying out a swimming lesson with a new client. But I wasn't speaking to him and don't have the full context.
I think, for the future, the best course of action is to be clear with the person you are talking to and set expectations from the beginning. If you want to go on a date, say so. You note that you have ASD and I think having clarity from the start would immensely help you and avoid any uncomfortable situations. We can get so caught up in hypothetical situations and it can sting when things turn out completely different to how you built it up in your head.
It's all from experience. I once showed up to work all dolled up because a guy from my team asked if I wanted to grab a drink after we finished for the day. And actually... it was just team drinks, except he invited everyone individually for some reason. I felt like a right twit!
I think, for the future, the best course of action is to be clear with the person you are talking to and set expectations from the beginning. If you want to go on a date, say so. You note that you have ASD and I think having clarity from the start would immensely help you and avoid any uncomfortable situations. We can get so caught up in hypothetical situations and it can sting when things turn out completely different to how you built it up in your head.
It's all from experience. I once showed up to work all dolled up because a guy from my team asked if I wanted to grab a drink after we finished for the day. And actually... it was just team drinks, except he invited everyone individually for some reason. I felt like a right twit!
I can’t seem to get my head around why someone would date me when there are so many other beautiful women in the world. I was in a bad relationship for just over 10 years from teenage years and that really ruined my confidence and self esteem. Whenever I get taking to someone it never gets past the first few dates because I cut it off as I’m sure they can’t possibly like me. Just feel sad and lonely I suppose
I agree, and these huge misunderstandings / not being clear in communication can lead to massive disappointments down the line (as well as being quite embarrassing in the moment). I remember when I was dating a guy for a few months and he asked if I wanted to be exclusive with him and I said yes thinking that meant we were in a relationship and I referred to him as my boyfriend in front of his rugby friends only for him to go "oh no I just meant we don't date other people". I was gutted and really embarrassed and I would have saved myself from all of that if I was clear on what he meant and up front about what I wanted. I still don't really know what the difference is between being exclusive or in a relationship to be honest
I think the healthiest non relationship sort of thing I've ever had with someone was when he just went "you know it's just sex and it will never happen between us right?" No expectations or second guessing their motives. And they did my ironing for me when I stayed over!
There isnt, he was just being an asshole in front of his fwiends.
I was gutted
. To me if you've agreed you're both only dating each other and not other people doesn't that constitute a relationship? Is "being exclusive" just another way of saying "I only want to date you for the short term but I don't see us going anywhere"? Maybe he was embarrassed to admit it in front of his friends.You might benefit from therapy and a supportive group of friends (hard to find I know). Maybe there are also some good books or podcasts/YouTube channels out there.
Of course people can and do like you, but it sounds to me as if you have not yet recovered from a difficult relationship.
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Maybe he meant an exclusive friends with benefits arrangement?I was gutted
All these new forms of how people now relate to each other are really confusing!
I have no idea, he was talking about me meeting his family haha.
Not sure if it's the popularity of social media and apps but dating now brings with it so much complexity. Ghosting, all these new terms, people having so much choice, over analysing everything etc. It's exhausting and finding a partner is like having a very taxing full time job sometimes
I’ve often wondered this too as I always assumed exclusive means a relationship but I think there’s exclusive dating too?!I was gutted
He seems a bit strange if he wants you to meet his family but recoils from being called your boyfriend in front of this sports mates.I have no idea, he was talking about me meeting his family haha.
Not sure if it's the popularity of social media and apps but dating now brings with it so much complexity. Ghosting, all these new terms, people having so much choice, over analysing everything etc. It's exhausting and finding a partner is like having a very taxing full time job sometimes
Are you still seeing him?
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there is a gap in the market for a dating dictionary and detailed guidelines.
Yeah he meant exclusively dating, but I wondered what the difference was between exclusively dating and being in a relationship. Dating to me suggests someone is free to meet others who they might have a romantic / sexual interest in. IF you're only seeing one person you're romantically interested in, isn't it the same as a relationship? I think there might be a difference to some but to me it's just splitting hairs to not have the same level of commitment.
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This was ages ago like in 2018. I find dating such a chore now
. I was also interested to know if anyone had any thoughts on the difference between relationship / exclusively dating. Or other nuances of modern dating!
I think a lot of the confusion comes from the US influence (I remember being confused as a teenager about all the “bases” and going steady…)
From what I gather, nowadays you go exclusive (ie not dating anyone else) then have a chat to decide if you’re a couple ie. boyfriend and girlfriend.
As much as I love healthy communication, it seems a little immature to me and it complicates things.
From what I gather, nowadays you go exclusive (ie not dating anyone else) then have a chat to decide if you’re a couple ie. boyfriend and girlfriend.
As much as I love healthy communication, it seems a little immature to me and it complicates things.
It complicates things not just for the couple involved but also other people. Should you treat them like a couple or not?
I remember years ago it was just "will you go out with me" which meant boyfriend / girlfriend. All these additional steps are just so confusing and means there's so many ways people can be misunderstood.
I think love island has a lot to answer for I notice men and women using terms from that show and it gives me the ick.
For me, there’s dating, and then seeing each other (which is literally just casual it’s not serious because it’s new) and then relationship.
I don’t get why people over complicate it? I remember getting a message from a guy and it was along the lines of wanna get railed. I had to ask my friends what that meant. Then instant ick!
For me, there’s dating, and then seeing each other (which is literally just casual it’s not serious because it’s new) and then relationship.
I don’t get why people over complicate it? I remember getting a message from a guy and it was along the lines of wanna get railed. I had to ask my friends what that meant. Then instant ick!
Railed us such a horrible way of putting it - like who actually says yes to that. I had one ask if I wanted to go round for a bit of "rumpy pumpy"
This sounds like some form of desert, like eton messRailed us such a horrible way of putting it - like who actually says yes to that. I had one ask if I wanted to go round for a bit of "rumpy pumpy"
I don't think advice on this thread ever comes from a place of anything other than kindness or concern, or based on past personal experience but tone is something that can be difficult to convey in writing and I know also that some people (like me) find tough love a bit, well, tough
I'm having an awful day (I'm sure to most people it would be a minor blip but for me it feels like the end of the world) and I'm the closest I've been in 18 months to messaging my Ex because I just miss his advice at times like this. He was always so good at talking me down from metaphorical ledges. So I'm posting here instead to remind myself that ultimately no good can come of contacting him. It'll pass soon hopefully.
I'm having an awful day (I'm sure to most people it would be a minor blip but for me it feels like the end of the world) and I'm the closest I've been in 18 months to messaging my Ex because I just miss his advice at times like this. He was always so good at talking me down from metaphorical ledges. So I'm posting here instead to remind myself that ultimately no good can come of contacting him. It'll pass soon hopefully.
I noticed the same when Love Island was at its peak.
I was chatting to one of my colleagues the other day and she has a 19 year old daughter. She said her daughter told her that it's all about "talking" now. Which basically means seeing each other. However seeing each other is old hat, apparently.
I have no idea either
this is why I don't date.It's crazy. Here I am thinking that if you do relationship things, aren't dating other people, and generally just KNOW it's a relationship... well then it's probably a relationship. Not with these guys though!I agree, and these huge misunderstandings / not being clear in communication can lead to massive disappointments down the line (as well as being quite embarrassing in the moment). I remember when I was dating a guy for a few months and he asked if I wanted to be exclusive with him and I said yes thinking that meant we were in a relationship and I referred to him as my boyfriend in front of his rugby friends only for him to go "oh no I just meant we don't date other people". I was gutted and really embarrassed and I would have saved myself from all of that if I was clear on what he meant and up front about what I wanted. I still don't really know what the difference is between being exclusive or in a relationship to be honest
I think the healthiest non relationship sort of thing I've ever had with someone was when he just went "you know it's just sex and it will never happen between us right?" No expectations or second guessing their motives. And they did my ironing for me when I stayed over!