I was keen to meet him yes which is why we put July 2nd in both our diaries but that was after I had been on facetime with him..since then the pattern of his behaviour became very apparent and it was after the facetime all the talk about exchange of numbers came up. I was happy to once I'd seen him and enjoyed our chat but then he told me about his past experience and said no until after the date. I won't be going on a date with him even if he does appear later. My gut instinct is telling me all is not as it should be with him plus he never showed up for the facetime chat yesterday so nope ...like I said I'm just curious as to how he's going to play this. And I'm not going to lie to you ladies, I'm disappointed. He seemed to tick a lot of boxes, and I enjoyed speaking to him ..but ...there's always a but!!
Dating after lockdown #21 More red flags than Pamplona, we don’t wanna know about your boner.
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i’m sorry bagpuss
you’ve had some real bad luck recently, which you don’t deserve, so it’s understandable that you’re disappointed. these men i think both your gut instinct and your feelings about the date are correct. i also agree with dolly that he’s fading out in the hope that you’ll block first, easier for him to claim he’s the nice guy and you’re the one who stopped contact then.
I do seem to have met some right twits recently but all with similar behaviour!i’m sorry bagpuss
i think both your gut instinct and your feelings about the date are correct. i also agree with dolly that he’s fading out in the hope that you’ll block first, easier for him to claim he’s the nice guy and you’re the one who stopped contact then.
This lack of regard for people's feelings just never ceases to amaze me and I know lots of people will say they owe you nothing as you've not met etc but where are the basic manners ? The human kindness ? The being polite and just a bloody decent human being ?!!!
I'm not an angry or bitter person but I feel grumpy about this man..he's got 2 daughters( allegedly!) I know I'm expecting too much for that to even resonate with him!
Tbh by not blocking him it looks like your less bothered than it would if you blocked him. Like your chilled and calm about it. So fair play. I always get keen for a date, who doesn’t like the initial excitement? It is disappointing when you think you’ve found potential and then the disappointment comes. You’ve done the right thing making some fun plans for tomorrow, realistically he should’ve shown up for the FaceTime yesterday.
Blocking him Badoo means I have to report him too and I don't think there is a drop down box that says lying time waster as the reason !
i think online dating makes people cruel sometimes: the apps are constantly encouraging you to look at what else is out there, constantly telling you to get messaging other people, to make snap decisions about peoples’ potential. if someone (well, a man) is already a fairly weak willed person then it’s only going to play into that. like you say, where is the politeness? the manners? why get someone to invest in you and then stroll away?
also @Fledgling Psycho - lovely to see you back! i’ve missed you these last few pages
You are absolutely right and I think it was @Clickbait that wrote a post many threads back about the fact that people are treated like body parts to move about at whim with no regard for their hearts and feelings...@Clickbait not sure exactly how you wrote it but its stayed with me sincei think online dating makes people cruel sometimes: the apps are constantly encouraging you to look at what else is out there, constantly telling you to get messaging other people, to make snap decisions about peoples’ potential. if someone (well, a man) is already a fairly weak willed person then it’s only going to play into that. like you say, where is the politeness? the manners? why get someone to invest in you and then stroll away?
also @Fledgling Psycho - lovely to see you back! i’ve missed you these last few pages
Hi Ladies 
I haven't been on this thread for a while but I'm back to learn some tough love.
So I stupidity got involved with a guy who I now know never ever cared for me and I'm left feeling dumb.
I'll fast forward the story a bit,so met him online and due to work and other things we ended up chatting for two months until finally meeting last week.
Now during this time I kinda got to like him and I know I shouldn't have because obviously we hadn't met yet and I was only seeing what he wanted me to see. He also told me he liked me which I know was a lie. But I got swept up in it. He also said stuff to me that he should have never said but now I know he was love bombing and future faking me. I feel like such an idiot writing this.
I saw the signs a few times, the veil slipped with him but then he would keep messaging me all this nice stuff and I'd forget my doubts again.
I now see he's prob a narc but does that make me feel any better no. I feel so stupid. I sometimes feel I was this mission of his just to use me and hurt me. It's hard for me to understand it because I'm so sensitive and generally a nice person and he knew this and I just can't get over the cruelty involved.
So in the time following up to the date he was mad messaging me all sweet things now I know just so I'd meet him. So I did and we got on well etc, we kissed and anyway he wanted me to go back to his again stupid idea. So I know I shouldn't have as I just didn't trust his intentions at this point, so basically I didn't end up sleeping with him because I just felt he was out to use me when all along he projected a different image of himself,it was then I saw the real him.
Now I've no problem with a casual hookup if it had been spoken about beforehand but he led me to believe he wanted more than that and I feel so stupid, embarrassed you name it.My self esteem,self worth, boundaries must be so low that I didn't listen to my gut about him.
Anyway next morning he was cold as ice towards me and I've heard nothing since from him and i won't. I won't message him either.
I dont even know why I'm writing this but it's just to vent probably. I've had an awful few days since beating myself up but also knowing he's worthless and has done this a countless number of times to other women. And then I see the other side that even if I had slept with him I'd still be feeling this way because that was his plan all along.
I'm just trying to come to terms with it all. I'm just at a loss
I haven't been on this thread for a while but I'm back to learn some tough love.
So I stupidity got involved with a guy who I now know never ever cared for me and I'm left feeling dumb.
I'll fast forward the story a bit,so met him online and due to work and other things we ended up chatting for two months until finally meeting last week.
Now during this time I kinda got to like him and I know I shouldn't have because obviously we hadn't met yet and I was only seeing what he wanted me to see. He also told me he liked me which I know was a lie. But I got swept up in it. He also said stuff to me that he should have never said but now I know he was love bombing and future faking me. I feel like such an idiot writing this.
I saw the signs a few times, the veil slipped with him but then he would keep messaging me all this nice stuff and I'd forget my doubts again.
I now see he's prob a narc but does that make me feel any better no. I feel so stupid. I sometimes feel I was this mission of his just to use me and hurt me. It's hard for me to understand it because I'm so sensitive and generally a nice person and he knew this and I just can't get over the cruelty involved.
So in the time following up to the date he was mad messaging me all sweet things now I know just so I'd meet him. So I did and we got on well etc, we kissed and anyway he wanted me to go back to his again stupid idea. So I know I shouldn't have as I just didn't trust his intentions at this point, so basically I didn't end up sleeping with him because I just felt he was out to use me when all along he projected a different image of himself,it was then I saw the real him.
Now I've no problem with a casual hookup if it had been spoken about beforehand but he led me to believe he wanted more than that and I feel so stupid, embarrassed you name it.My self esteem,self worth, boundaries must be so low that I didn't listen to my gut about him.
Anyway next morning he was cold as ice towards me and I've heard nothing since from him and i won't. I won't message him either.
I dont even know why I'm writing this but it's just to vent probably. I've had an awful few days since beating myself up but also knowing he's worthless and has done this a countless number of times to other women. And then I see the other side that even if I had slept with him I'd still be feeling this way because that was his plan all along.
I'm just trying to come to terms with it all. I'm just at a loss
Sorry to hear this. It seems you spotted some warning signs but got caught up in the moment and the flattery and stories he was selling you. I’m sure there aren’t many of us who’ve done similarly and regret it in hindsight.Hi Ladies
I haven't been on this thread for a while but I'm back to learn some tough love.
So I stupidity got involved with a guy who I now know never ever cared for me and I'm left feeling dumb.
I'll fast forward the story a bit,so met him online and due to work and other things we ended up chatting for two months until finally meeting last week.
Now during this time I kinda got to like him and I know I shouldn't have because obviously we hadn't met yet and I was only seeing what he wanted me to see. He also told me he liked me which I know was a lie. But I got swept up in it. He also said stuff to me that he should have never said but now I know he was love bombing and future faking me. I feel like such an idiot writing this.
I saw the signs a few times, the veil slipped with him but then he would keep messaging me all this nice stuff and I'd forget my doubts again.
I now see he's prob a narc but does that make me feel any better no. I feel so stupid. I sometimes feel I was this mission of his just to use me and hurt me. It's hard for me to understand it because I'm so sensitive and generally a nice person and he knew this and I just can't get over the cruelty involved.
So in the time following up to the date he was mad messaging me all sweet things now I know just so I'd meet him. So I did and we got on well etc, we kissed and anyway he wanted me to go back to his again stupid idea. So I know I shouldn't have as I just didn't trust his intentions at this point, so basically I didn't end up sleeping with him because I just felt he was out to use me when all along he projected a different image of himself,it was then I saw the real him.
Now I've no problem with a casual hookup if it had been spoken about beforehand but he led me to believe he wanted more than that and I feel so stupid, embarrassed you name it.My self esteem,self worth, boundaries must be so low that I didn't listen to my gut about him.
Anyway next morning he was cold as ice towards me and I've heard nothing since from him and i won't. I won't message him either.
I dont even know why I'm writing this but it's just to vent probably. I've had an awful few days since beating myself up but also knowing he's worthless and has done this a countless number of times to other women. And then I see the other side that even if I had slept with him I'd still be feeling this way because that was his plan all along.
I'm just trying to come to terms with it all. I'm just at a loss
All you can do is take some time, try not to beat yourself up for things you can’t change, and be a bit more trusting of your inner voice if you’re ever in this situation again.
Try and plan something nice for yourself this weekend as a pick me up - there is no point in punishing yourself. Oh and make sure you block him on everything!
Sounds to me like that inner voice that we are guilty of ignoring was protecting you. If you hadn't listened and had slept with him you would be feeling way worse than you do now ..believe me we've all been there ! I think you need to give yourself some credit and be proud of how you protected yourself..yes he turned outHi Ladies
I haven't been on this thread for a while but I'm back to learn some tough love.
So I stupidity got involved with a guy who I now know never ever cared for me and I'm left feeling dumb.
I'll fast forward the story a bit,so met him online and due to work and other things we ended up chatting for two months until finally meeting last week.
Now during this time I kinda got to like him and I know I shouldn't have because obviously we hadn't met yet and I was only seeing what he wanted me to see. He also told me he liked me which I know was a lie. But I got swept up in it. He also said stuff to me that he should have never said but now I know he was love bombing and future faking me. I feel like such an idiot writing this.
I saw the signs a few times, the veil slipped with him but then he would keep messaging me all this nice stuff and I'd forget my doubts again.
I now see he's prob a narc but does that make me feel any better no. I feel so stupid. I sometimes feel I was this mission of his just to use me and hurt me. It's hard for me to understand it because I'm so sensitive and generally a nice person and he knew this and I just can't get over the cruelty involved.
So in the time following up to the date he was mad messaging me all sweet things now I know just so I'd meet him. So I did and we got on well etc, we kissed and anyway he wanted me to go back to his again stupid idea. So I know I shouldn't have as I just didn't trust his intentions at this point, so basically I didn't end up sleeping with him because I just felt he was out to use me when all along he projected a different image of himself,it was then I saw the real him.
Now I've no problem with a casual hookup if it had been spoken about beforehand but he led me to believe he wanted more than that and I feel so stupid, embarrassed you name it.My self esteem,self worth, boundaries must be so low that I didn't listen to my gut about him.
Anyway next morning he was cold as ice towards me and I've heard nothing since from him and i won't. I won't message him either.
I dont even know why I'm writing this but it's just to vent probably. I've had an awful few days since beating myself up but also knowing he's worthless and has done this a countless number of times to other women. And then I see the other side that even if I had slept with him I'd still be feeling this way because that was his plan all along.
I'm just trying to come to terms with it all. I'm just at a loss
to be a wrong un and by the sounds he was 'grooming ' you for sex and when his plan didn't work he's gotten angry. Well boo to him ! I hope you feel much better in a few days
Like bagbuss says, we’ve all been there! So please don’t beat yourself up over it. Your intuition was right, and I’m glad you didn’t sleep with him, it would feel so much worse, so good on you for listening to your gut! He’d off acted cold afterwards however you chose to go about things I reckon! I don’t see anything wrong with hook ups as long as it’s honest from the off. I hate when they have to pretend to get what they want. Unfortunately these men are ten a penny. They know all the right things to say! That’s why I no longer tell them what I’m looking for in a man. They legit will pretend to be that man. To me I think why make such a fuss and effort if u just wanna get laid lolHi Ladies
I haven't been on this thread for a while but I'm back to learn some tough love.
So I stupidity got involved with a guy who I now know never ever cared for me and I'm left feeling dumb.
I'll fast forward the story a bit,so met him online and due to work and other things we ended up chatting for two months until finally meeting last week.
Now during this time I kinda got to like him and I know I shouldn't have because obviously we hadn't met yet and I was only seeing what he wanted me to see. He also told me he liked me which I know was a lie. But I got swept up in it. He also said stuff to me that he should have never said but now I know he was love bombing and future faking me. I feel like such an idiot writing this.
I saw the signs a few times, the veil slipped with him but then he would keep messaging me all this nice stuff and I'd forget my doubts again.
I now see he's prob a narc but does that make me feel any better no. I feel so stupid. I sometimes feel I was this mission of his just to use me and hurt me. It's hard for me to understand it because I'm so sensitive and generally a nice person and he knew this and I just can't get over the cruelty involved.
So in the time following up to the date he was mad messaging me all sweet things now I know just so I'd meet him. So I did and we got on well etc, we kissed and anyway he wanted me to go back to his again stupid idea. So I know I shouldn't have as I just didn't trust his intentions at this point, so basically I didn't end up sleeping with him because I just felt he was out to use me when all along he projected a different image of himself,it was then I saw the real him.
Now I've no problem with a casual hookup if it had been spoken about beforehand but he led me to believe he wanted more than that and I feel so stupid, embarrassed you name it.My self esteem,self worth, boundaries must be so low that I didn't listen to my gut about him.
Anyway next morning he was cold as ice towards me and I've heard nothing since from him and i won't. I won't message him either.
I dont even know why I'm writing this but it's just to vent probably. I've had an awful few days since beating myself up but also knowing he's worthless and has done this a countless number of times to other women. And then I see the other side that even if I had slept with him I'd still be feeling this way because that was his plan all along.
I'm just trying to come to terms with it all. I'm just at a loss
@Kitty kat 20 Hi, hope you’re ok. Don’t feel like this - we have all been victim to this! Me included. So this particular guy was love bombing me at the beginning of us talking, told me he likes talking to me and kept mentioning sex ..anyway he wanted to meet me on the weekend coming up and I said no, I said having sex on a first date or second isn’t for me (despite my precious rondevous
) but I genuinely didn’t want another fling. Told him I was on my period anyway and shockkkk he hasn’t spoke to me since.
Another guy I was talking to expected me to come and see him this weekend and bring food for him to cook for us and I said no as I was out with my friends - he hasn’t replied. What is wrong with men
) but I genuinely didn’t want another fling. Told him I was on my period anyway and shockkkk he hasn’t spoke to me since. Another guy I was talking to expected me to come and see him this weekend and bring food for him to cook for us and I said no as I was out with my friends - he hasn’t replied. What is wrong with men
I think it’s so important that we learn to leave after the first red flag or suspicion because we sometimes ignore them for weeks or even months and it never ends well. We could save ourselves alot of wasted time by listening to our intuition from the start.
We are all guilty of calling men time wasters but most of the time we see the problems blazing in our face but still drag it out.
We are all guilty of calling men time wasters but most of the time we see the problems blazing in our face but still drag it out.
@Kittykat2020 So sorry you met this horrible creature. It's so disappointing to be treated so badly but lucky you to never have to see this slimy creep again. And yes I understand only too well that feeling but you are a sensitive person and that is good, never forget that. 
I was listening to Kelly Clarkson "Because of You" recently & the lyrics to that I identify with so much. Incidentally I've always seen her as a genuine, lovely sensitive person but she's been through absolute hell with her divorce & it made me quite tearful to think of her going through that. 
Oh 100 percent agree. These experiences leave scars we can well do without because it leaves you cynical, full of self doubt and bitter. What a prize, what a gift!
I was listening to Kelly Clarkson "Because of You" recently & the lyrics to that I identify with so much. Incidentally I've always seen her as a genuine, lovely sensitive person but she's been through absolute hell with her divorce & it made me quite tearful to think of her going through that.
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Have you heard her song Piece by Piece? It's as powerful as because of you and tells more of her story@Kittykat2020 So sorry you met this horrible creature. It's so disappointing to be treated so badly but lucky you to never have to see this slimy creep again. And yes I understand only too well that feeling but you are a sensitive person and that is good, never forget that.
Oh 100 percent agree. These experiences leave scars we can well do without because it leaves you cynical, full of self doubt and bitter. What a prize, what a gift!
piece by piece makes me cry even more NOW because the guy she wrote it about ended up being just as useless as her dadHave you heard her song Piece by Piece? It's as powerful as because of you and tells more of her story
it’s such a beautiful song too!Hi ladies, just an update from me. Sooo zero contact from him today, he's not been online since yesterday . I'm not angry but I am if that makes sense. I just keep thinking what if I was all excited about the date tomorrow and had been waiting all day for him to be in touch and how upset and hurt I'd be feeling tonight with there being nothing from him.. It's such awful, cruel unkind behaviour. Luckily I had already started to see the situation with clarity and with all your help and advice here but can't help but think I'd be in bits again if I hadn't
I'd see this as a win! He didn't take you in, you saw through his BS and saved yourself from heartache.Hi ladies, just an update from me. Sooo zero contact from him today, he's not been online since yesterday . I'm not angry but I am if that makes sense. I just keep thinking what if I was all excited about the date tomorrow and had been waiting all day for him to be in touch and how upset and hurt I'd be feeling tonight with there being nothing from him.. It's such awful, cruel unkind behaviour. Luckily I had already started to see the situation with clarity and with all your help and advice here but can't help but think I'd be in bits again if I hadn't
He's a head. I get your anger because there is literally no reason for him to behave that way. But his behaviour is only ever a reflection of him.
Hope you have something lovely planned for tomorrow!
I’m glad you saw through it all, but it’s a shame you experienced this. What an utter bellend and time waster! It’s this type of behaviour that makes dating apps exhaustingHi ladies, just an update from me. Sooo zero contact from him today, he's not been online since yesterday . I'm not angry but I am if that makes sense. I just keep thinking what if I was all excited about the date tomorrow and had been waiting all day for him to be in touch and how upset and hurt I'd be feeling tonight with there being nothing from him.. It's such awful, cruel unkind behaviour. Luckily I had already started to see the situation with clarity and with all your help and advice here but can't help but think I'd be in bits again if I hadn't
xIt’s stuff like that what puts me off dating apps. It’s too easy for them to be so effortless! It’s like a quick buzz for them to see they’ve got a match and someone’s messaging them. They don’t take it seriously. Promised myself I’d stay off the apps, but I don’t see how it’s possible to meet someone when I barely leave my house or small town. I mean how did people do it before the apps lolI’m glad you saw through it all, but it’s a shame you experienced this. What an utter bellend and time waster! It’s this type of behaviour that makes dating apps exhausting
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