You can over-evaluate your decision making though, and think that you’re at fault for being too picky when you run into a dry spell or have a run of time wasters. I swung the other way and made myself go on dates with people I didn’t find physically attractive from their photos because perhaps I was being shallow, they might be nicer/worth giving a chance too.I have a fear of just settling out of loneliness too. And in recent days I've been reevaluating my choosing choices on the apps. I've spoken to lots of really nice guys and dismissed them because they aren't quite tall enough or attractive enough etc all shallow reasons with hindsight. Some I've friendzoned and actually they have been consistent in their messaging and being bloody nice to me and we are now 'chatty' friends. It is a really good question as to why we do that ? Why do we reject the nice guys in favour of the idiots ?
you are very much damn right with your definition of “let’s see where it goes” he’s FINALY text back this morning and said “sorry I was out in town haha you ok?” I’m leaving it before I reply with ‘I hope you had A good night. Yeah I’m good x’See where it goes is code for “I’m not telling you I don’t want a relationship because then you won’t have sex with me again so I’ll pretend to be open to the idea of it without committing in any way which will mean I’m more likely to just get the sex I want from you when I want it like all the other times, but I’ve not agreed to anything specific so I’m totally blameless.”
This guy’s first response to your text showed how interested he really was. I’m sorry it’s not what you wanted from him, but he’s shown you who he is. If you can just use him for sex and not get attached then do that when it suits you but don’t be having the sex hoping it’ll magically change his mind about wanting more.
You deserve better!
i was chatting with a guy like this a few weeks back too. it was absolutely like getting blood from a stone and he was obviously just going through the motions of how are you, how was your day, how was work with no real substance to anything. i dread to think what the chat would have been like in real life!So I feel your pain. I matched with a guy on Hinge and it’s the same chat EVERY day. What we are doing etc, it’s boring. We aren’t really talking about anything exciting and some days it’s like trying to get blood out of a stone.
We are meant to be going on a date on Thursday night but I’m going to cancel and just say I’ve got childcare issues🫣
Yeah I feel like that too- I don’t really know what we would talk about in person….🫠I feel mean but at the same time do I go and give it a shot? He might just be shit at textingi was chatting with a guy like this a few weeks back too. it was absolutely like getting blood from a stone and he was obviously just going through the motions of how are you, how was your day, how was work with no real substance to anything. i dread to think what the chat would have been like in real life!
though i have covid right now and it sure would be nice to have a man around that i could send to the shops for me and to bring me water and stuff. they have their uses
oh I just can’t with that shite. I am probably guilty of oversharing and I’m sure I bore the arse off men with my waffling on. But I want to be around someone That can carry a conversation, and keep me engaged and excited to hear from them. It’s too easy carry the burden for someone else. fuck that shit. If they aren’t carrying their conversational weight then sayonara. Imagine the inanity of a life together!?i was chatting with a guy like this a few weeks back too. it was absolutely like getting blood from a stone and he was obviously just going through the motions of how are you, how was your day, how was work with no real substance to anything. i dread to think what the chat would have been like in real life!
though i have covid right now and it sure would be nice to have a man around that i could send to the shops for me and to bring me water and stuff. they have their uses
Regarding the attraction to unavailable people:I have nothing to say on how to break up that hasn’t already been said! And it’s not even a break up after one date. I was so worried about letting someone very lovely down. Spent ages formulating the perfect text. His response: no probs! Just let him know. Ghosting is the worst.
in relation to being attracted to unavailability, I’ve been reading a lot about this too, we mistake the insecurity and instability the asshole creates with chemistry
Oh and the coffee date was grand. Instantly not attracted at all but nice little chat and delighted I did it. Felt kinda bad cos he drove two hours and after 75 mins I brought our walk back to his car! But I’m not doing any of us any favours by killing time just for sake of it.
thank you@LaBlonde Sorry to hear you caught it. Hope it's not a bad dose. Mine took 10 days to be negative & it wasn't until week 3 my energy returned. It's crap. I relied on Amazon prime groceries & takeaways. Poor guys delivering had to leave it on the path & I was all masked up. Terrified to pass it on. Get well soon.
That old adage you have to love yourself is so true. I don't think I've ever been in a truly functional relationship what with mine or their issues but I vow to learn what loving myself really means. It's my goal now.
Well doneI’ve texted Prison guy back going ‘ I hope you had a good night. I’m good thanks x’ and I’ve left it at that. I would be VERY shocked if I get a reply…but I’m not dragging the conversation anymore and I deserve so so so much more!
Thank youWell done
I think these men like to mess various women about. Then when the one they do want comes along they'll drop you like a hot cake, no explanation & invariably marry that woman. Bear this in mind when you think about wasting so much energy on someone who's breadcrumbing you. Step right back, focus on yourself & leave him be. He needs to make a lot more effort for you to even take an interest in him. (From experience)Thank youI’m starting to over think it now though- but gotta keep strong!
Completely agree with this, it's like a miracle occurs suddenly when they go from doing the bare minimum with you to a full on instragrammable romance with someone else but they didn't want a relationship blah blah blah....I think these men like to mess various women about. Then when the one they do want comes along they'll drop you like a hot cake, no explanation & invariably marry that woman. Bear this in mind when you think about wasting so much energy on someone who's breadcrumbing you. Step right back, focus on yourself & leave him be. He needs to make a lot more effort for you to even take an interest in him. (From experience)
Yepp seen this time and time again. They morph into a completely different person. Someone who couldn’t be arsed to send you an explanatory text will suddenly be writing some other woman books of poetryCompletely agree with this, it's like a miracle occurs suddenly when they go from doing the bare minimum with you to a full on instragrammable romance with someone else but they didn't want a relationship blah blah blah....
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