This is exactly what it has done for me. He says he likes me etc. But is having a big 40th birthday party and doesn't want the girl he's been seeing for 3 months there. It's fine it's his perogative but I'm not going to jump through hoops to try and make him want me.I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but I think this would give me a really clear idea of where I actually stood with a guy and I’d likely adjust my behaviour accordingly. You clearly aren’t in a relationship, but I’m guessing you thought you were pretty close to heading in that direction and his actions in this instance have raised some doubts for you about where you stand? A favourite saying of mine is don’t be in a relationship with a man who’s single
Dating after lockdown #17 Scraps on the apps, crumbs from the dumbs, making us sick with pics of dicks
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Dating Threads
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Hate to hear this
Do you think this is due to yesterdays happenings or unrelated? Is there anything you can do to make yourself smile? I'm gonna go and get my nails done after work just for the sake of it, do you have any little things like that which are nice and completely for you?I see in a lot of your posts, you are keen to please and make other people happy, I used to do exactly the same, but please focus on yourself you are so much more important! Let you make you happy first, and then let other people have a turn to make you happy too, don't let it all be one sided
Or a heart shaped suitcase for your first romantic weekend away.Yes I agree, I’ve said before about I need to think about my boundaries. Hopefully he’s sent something jokey/silly and not a dozen red roses or an engraved ring like the guy at Christmas
Yes I’d feel the same, actions speak louder than words when it comes to men. Maybe it’s a slow burner, but if he was crazy about you right now and saw you as part of his future, then you’d be there. I’d keep your options very open right now.
Thank you all for your insight and advice on my post. In truth I am a little bit hurt,I know that if I told him this he would try and reassure me. But I won't say anything because it's his birthday and I don't want to make it about me. I will message him on Saturday and then leave it at that and enjoy my own weekend. I will play it cool and wait for him to reach out on Monday. If he doesn't then that speaks volumes to me. When I told him something the other day he said "I've rushed and been hurt in the past. If I'm going too slow then just talk to me".
It might seems OTT to some people,how I'm feeling..when I know that he hasn't met my family or my son. But on the flip side,I haven't had a casual party where the opportunity has been there. Maybe it seems hypocritical of me to say I want to meet his family and friends, when the fact is..if he had invited me I would have probably have said no (because I want him to enjoy it) but it would have been nice to feel like I mean something to him enough to want me there for his birthday. I will just try and chill out
It might seems OTT to some people,how I'm feeling..when I know that he hasn't met my family or my son. But on the flip side,I haven't had a casual party where the opportunity has been there. Maybe it seems hypocritical of me to say I want to meet his family and friends, when the fact is..if he had invited me I would have probably have said no (because I want him to enjoy it) but it would have been nice to feel like I mean something to him enough to want me there for his birthday. I will just try and chill out
Oh bab
are they any other factors making you feel this way or just one of those days?@Raymond Luxury-Yacht I had a day like this yesterday. I was waiting for a doctor's appointment on the phone. Seven before me. I found myself flicking through some old diaries. I used to document every text & call and physical meeting with who I'd made my special person. I felt quite tearful and found myself saying " I miss you" to the memory.
By the evening however I had emerged from that chrysalis into a beautiful shimmering butterfly who settled down for a glorious evening of Tattle & chocolate! Hope that feeling passes too. I find myself gritting my teeth about any conversations of weddings, engagements or people with boyfriends of two years etc. It's hard sometimes to deal with it.
By the evening however I had emerged from that chrysalis into a beautiful shimmering butterfly who settled down for a glorious evening of Tattle & chocolate! Hope that feeling passes too. I find myself gritting my teeth about any conversations of weddings, engagements or people with boyfriends of two years etc. It's hard sometimes to deal with it.
Just an update
Yesterday I had a complete mental breakdown, talked down by the samaritans and my GP. The guy is gone, I text him and told me he can't string me along and I can't be his friend. I won't be dating for a while but will try and keep active as much as I can
Thanks for all your support and advice, I know that I've been infuriating x
Yesterday I had a complete mental breakdown, talked down by the samaritans and my GP. The guy is gone, I text him and told me he can't string me along and I can't be his friend. I won't be dating for a while but will try and keep active as much as I can
Thanks for all your support and advice, I know that I've been infuriating x
@nobrains I understand exactly how you feel and you really cannot help what you feel. You have decided how to deal with it all though, so good for you.
You are always so lovely and supportive of others. I'm so sorry you are feeling like this today
You are definitely not alone,we all have those days where we feel more down and can't see a way out of the loneliness. I always try to tell myself that I am worthy and I am enough and I am never on my own because besides from a man I have other people and myself who value me. My friend is a bit anime fan and he always sends me these xxAttachments
jade you haven’t been infuriating at all - i, and i’m sure everyone here, am SO PROUD of you for taking this step and speaking to your GP. i hope you keep posting here as i would love to keep up with how you’re doing x
i hope you’re okay now, we’re always here to talk. i know i’ve been blunt with you before and i truly am sorry for that - it’s because i can tell you’re a good and kind person who didn’t deserve to be treated that way. give yourself huge props for sending that text and seeking support
I’m afraid I agree. 3 months is a fair while. I’m very forthright and I would have to bring it up with him and clear the air. He could be unaware he’s being a bit of a dick. If the shoe was on the other foot would you have brought it up with him? Would you have said “look it’s a bit awkward but it’s more of an old mates thing, but can we do something special for my birthday another day?” I’m sure you would, so why couldn’t he? Also if the gig is on one night why couldn’t he see you the other nights? xx
@nobrains those GIFs are lovely.
All feelings are valid so don't ever dismiss how you are feeling about this as not important because to you it is.Thank you all for your insight and advice on my post. In truth I am a little bit hurt,I know that if I told him this he would try and reassure me. But I won't say anything because it's his birthday and I don't want to make it about me. I will message him on Saturday and then leave it at that and enjoy my own weekend. I will play it cool and wait for him to reach out on Monday. If he doesn't then that speaks volumes to me. When I told him something the other day he said "I've rushed and been hurt in the past. If I'm going too slow then just talk to me".
It might seems OTT to some people,how I'm feeling..when I know that he hasn't met my family or my son. But on the flip side,I haven't had a casual party where the opportunity has been there. Maybe it seems hypocritical of me to say I want to meet his family and friends, when the fact is..if he had invited me I would have probably have said no (because I want him to enjoy it) but it would have been nice to feel like I mean something to him enough to want me there for his birthday. I will just try and chill out
From the outside looking in it seems to me that you are both on different pages as to how you are viewing your relationship. Introducing a person to your nearest and dearest is a massive step in my opinion and not one most of us taking lightly especially at the start of a new relationship where you are still getting to know each other. Of course its sad that you aren't included in his celebrations this year but hopefully there will be more birthdays ahead with him. Try and not overthink, he's still the same man you are getting to know ..a year older
... but still the same man. Don't spoil what you have with him by rushing things. Sending you a hug. Just to add its one of my exs birthdays on the 12th seems to be a popular day !
Concentrate on YOURSELF, @Raymond Luxury-Yacht The kindness and consideration that you afford others, direct it back towards you.
My ex who I share a child with, became a Dad again yesterday, I had a little cry last night and this morning. Deep down I know that everything is not as it seems on the surface - he texted me a few months again saying he can’t stop thinking about me
- it can seem like everyone has their life together and are flourishing but are they really? People in relationships are lonely. It means nothing.
The kindness and consideration that you afford others, direct it back towards you. My ex who I share a child with, became a Dad again yesterday, I had a little cry last night and this morning. Deep down I know that everything is not as it seems on the surface - he texted me a few months again saying he can’t stop thinking about me
- it can seem like everyone has their life together and are flourishing but are they really? People in relationships are lonely. It means nothing.
Last edited:
I think the fact he lives so far away gave me a bit of a false sense of security re possible problems xOr a heart shaped suitcase for your first romantic weekend away.
Yes I know many women who are only with their husbands because of their comfortable lives. They fear being alone. At least we get a lot of practice!
By the way I watched Chloe on BBC I player last night. It was riveting. Not often I say that.
By the way I watched Chloe on BBC I player last night. It was riveting. Not often I say that.
That's why there are soo many people online who are cheating too. Its a sad reflection of our times really and why those of us genuinely looking for a connection with someone struggle so much.
I've Chloe on my to watch list
Oh lovely I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you getting help from a crisis management team?
We want something to go our way for a change. It's only natural. I took a lot of risks when I was on the apps. I'm lucky to come out of it as unscathed as I have. Apart from being utterly cynical of course.
My niece used to go on all these interesting dates even if they didn't work out. Anyone I ever chatted to was a sex pest, psychopath or lame 
. It's a mystery!- Status